Controlling Communication Anxiety

Y ou ve probably heard a lot of advice about how to control your communication

apprehension. For example, picture the audience sitting there naked.

(Try this and you might be really distracted!) Another pearl of wisdom is to

take a really deep breath each time you feel yourself getting anxious. (Do this and

you ll hyperventilate.) Or and this is probably the worst advice we ve heard cut

back on your preparation because in general, the more you prepare, the worse you

will do. 13 The people who offer such wisdom mean well, but such quick-fix techniques

don t work.

You also may have been told that taking a public speaking class will cure you of

your communication apprehension. One of the biggest myths about a public speaking

class is that it can or should rid you of your natural fears. There is no cure for communication

anxiety, but there are strategies that can help you keep it under control.

Research shows that the techniques we discuss in this chapter do help and that

they work best when used in combination.14 Start with one technique and move on

to another until you find what works best for you. The techniques that we consider

are selective relaxation, attitude adjustment, visualization, and skills training.

Selective Relaxation

A good starting point in learning how to handle your anxiety is to master the art of

selective relaxation. Begin practicing this technique well before your first speech.

Practice relaxing several times a day until it becomes second nature. Follow the

sequence outlined here:

1. Find a quiet place where you can be by yourself. Sit in a comfortable chair or lie

down, close your eyes, and breathe deeply in through your nose and out

through your mouth. You should feel yourself beginning to relax.

2. Once you feel yourself relaxing, begin slowly repeating a selected word, such as

one, each time you exhale. Let your mind drift freely. You should soon feel quite

relaxed.

3. While you are relaxed and breathing deeply, selectively tense and relax different

muscle groups. Begin by tensing your feet and legs: curl your toes, tense your

arch, tighten your calves, lock your knees, contract your thigh muscles. Hold this

tension for several seconds and think about how it feels. Not very comfortable,

is it? Even with the tension in the lower part of your body, it s not easy to continue

deep breathing.

4. Concentrate on breathing deeply again, repeating your selected word as you

exhale and let your muscles relax.

5. Now, repeat steps 1 through 4, moving the focus of tensing and relaxing up your

body: first move it to your abdominal muscles, then your hand and arm muscles,

and finally your neck and head muscles. After you have done this a number of

times, simply repeating your selected word should trigger a relaxation response.

Share with students your

personal experiences with

communication anxiety and what

helped you best combat your

fears.

selective relaxation The technique of

tightening and relaxing muscles

on command, used to help

reduce communication anxiety.

Public Speaking, Eighth Edition, by Michael Osborn, Suzanne Osborn and Randall Osborn. Published by Allyn & Bacon.

Copyright © 2007 by Pearson Education, Inc.

38 Part One The Foundations of Public Speaking

@InterConnections.

LearnMore 2.2

Top Ten Strategies for Wildly Effective Stress Management

http://cws.unc.edu/content/view/80/0/

Counseling and Wellness Web site at the University of North Carolina. Provides excellent suggestions for

coping with the stress and strain of college life.

Perfectionism

www.potsdam.edu/content.php?contentID=7EB90335A0127D15A1DFEF824DE4E2CC

Online brochure prepared by the SUNY Potsdam Counseling Center. Discusses the self-defeating nature

of excessively high and unrealistic goals.

Perfectionism: The Double-Edged Sword

http://usfweb2.usf.edu/counsel/b_psy/pdf/Perfectionsim.pdf

Developed by the Counseling Center for Human Development at the University of South Florida. Defines

perfectionism as a compulsive striving toward unrealistic goals motivated by a fear of failure.

communication orientation Looking

at public speaking as an interactive

communication event rather than as

a performance.

One good thing about this exercise is that once you have mastered the technique,

you can practice it unobtrusively in many situations. While you are sitting in

class waiting to speak, tense your feet and leg muscles; then relax them. If you find

yourself getting nervous while you are speaking, say your selected word to yourself.

The word alone may be enough to help you relax and return your concentration to

your message. If this technique doesn t work as well as you would like, try tensing

and relaxing a hand as you speak. (Just be sure it s down at your side where it can t

be seen.)

Attitude Adjustments

Throughout this chapter, we have stressed the importance of thinking of public

speaking as an interactive communication act and not as a performance. Such a

change in thinking may require some attitude adjustments.

Communication Orientation. When you adopt a communication orientation

to public speaking, you concentrate on your message and your audience, not

on yourself. Select a topic that is exciting and interesting and that brings new information

or a new perspective to the audience, and then concentrate on communicating

it effectively to them.

One of the most communication-apprehensive students we ever taught actually

left the room in the middle of her first speech to get a drink of water and

try to compose herself. While she was in the hall, we discussed with the class

how we as an audience might help her. When she came to our office after the

speech, we tried to work with her on focusing on her message and her audience.

Her second effort was a little better. She stopped during her presentation

to try to pull herself together, but she managed to finish without leaving the

room. Her third speech (persuasive) was a totally different story.

The student worked during the day as a dispatcher for a major interstate

trucking firm. She presented a speech urging her classmates to lobby their

congressional representatives to vote for a truck safety bill that was pending in

Public Speaking, Eighth Edition, by Michael Osborn, Suzanne Osborn and Randall Osborn. Published by Allyn & Bacon.

Copyright © 2007 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Chapter 2 Managing Your Fear of Speaking 39

Congress. The topic was very important to her. Her speech was filled with

interesting examples of near catastrophes that this legislation would make less

likely. She knew her topic. She knew it was important. She really cared about

it. Consequently, she got so caught up with what she was saying that she forgot

to be anxious. The audience was spellbound. When she finished, there

was a moment of silence while it all sank in, then spontaneous applause

applause for a speech well given and applause for a speaker who had conquered

her personal demons.

Cognitive Restructuring. Another attitude adjustment involves changing

the messages you send to yourself about your public speaking experiences. Psychologists

call this cognitive restructuring. All of us send messages to ourselves

about our behavior. If these messages are positive, they can act as self-fulfilling

prophecies that help us function better. Positive messages can boost your selfconfidence.

When you have faith in yourself, you are better able to withstand

criticism from others. Early in her career, Rosie O Donnell appeared in a talent

show. The producer told the other contestants, She ll never be famous. She s

too tough. She s too New York. And, she s too heavy. Rosie s reaction? He s

gonna feel like a jerk when Im famous! 15

On the other hand, if the messages you send yourself are negative, they may

invite failure. To practice cognitive restructuring, you must identify the irrational

negative messages that you are sending yourself about public speaking and

replace them with positive, constructive messages. For example, instead of

telling yourself, Im going to sound stupid, say, I ve researched this topic and

I know what Im talking about. Replace Everyone else is more confident than

I am with I am as confident as anyone in this class. For I really don t want

to give this speech, try This is my chance to present my ideas.

Right before you speak, summarize these positive messages into a final

encouraging pep talk to yourself: I ve worked hard for this moment. I ve got a

good message, and Im well prepared to present it. Now it s time to put it

across, and I can do it.

Visualization

The Women s World Cup Soccer championship game was tied at the end of

play. China and the United States each had five penalty kicks to determine

Have students volunteer negative

messages they send themselves.

List them on the chalkboard.

Discuss how to restructure these

messages into positive ones.

Speaker s Notes 2.2

Techniques for Handling Communication Anxiety

Communication scholars have suggested the following techniques for handling communication apprehension:

1. Selective relaxation helps reduce anticipatory anxiety.

2. A communication orientation helps you focus on your

message.

3. Cognitive restructuring changes negative self-messages

into positive ones.

4. Visualization implants a positive picture of success in your

mind.

5. Skills training makes you more competent and more

confident as a speaker.

cognitive restructuring The process of

replacing negative thoughts with positive,

constructive ones.

Star athletes often use visualization

as a means of preparing for success.

Public Speaking, Eighth Edition, by Michael Osborn, Suzanne Osborn and Randall Osborn. Published by Allyn & Bacon.

Copyright © 2007 by Pearson Education, Inc.

40 Part One The Foundations of Public Speaking

the winner. Before one of China s kicks, the camera zoomed in on Briana Scurry, the

American goalkeeper. She had a look of intense concentration on her face. The

announcer commented, She s visualizing blocking this next kick.

Professional athletes have long used this technique to improve their performances.

You can also control communication anxiety with visualization, in which

you systematically imagine yourself succeeding as a speaker, and then practice your

presentation with that image in mind.16 To make visualization work best, you must

develop a script in which you picture a day of success from the moment you get up

through the moment when you enjoy the congratulations of your classmates and

instructor for your excellent speech. A sample script is provided in Figure 2.4. Work

from this script, changing it to fit your own needs and personality.

Figure 2.4

Sample Visualization Script*

I wake up full of energy and confidence. I look forward to the

challenge of doing my best. I put on the right clothes.

Dressing well makes me look good and feel good about

myself. On the way to give my speech, I remind myself of how

much hard work has gone into my preparation. This makes me

feel even more confident. Others notice my confidence and

comment positively on my appearance and poise. I feel ready

to give my speech.

Now I m in the room where I will present my speech. I chat

comfortably with my classmates. They are warm and friendly

to me, as always. I feel absolutely sure of my ability to present

my speech in a forceful, convincing, and positive manner.

I walk to the front of the room. I feel very good about

how this presentation will go. I start my speech. I am really on

top of it. I sound like a polished speaker. My classmates nod

their heads in agreement. They smile at me. Their feedback

tells me I am on target.

My introduction goes the way I planned it. In fact, it works

better than I had expected. As I move into the body of my

speech, my first main point is really impressive. My evidence

supporting it is relevant and striking. The audience

understands what I am saying. All my main points are well

received. As I near the end of my speech, my concluding

remarks put a memorable stamp on what I have said.

When I finish, I know that my speech could not have been

better. My introduction worked well, my main points were

clear, my evidence was strong, and my conclusion ended the

speech with style and flair. In addition, my voice added

interest, my pauses punctuated important ideas, and my

gestures were purposeful. I answer questions with confidence.

I am receiving compliments from my classmates. I feel really

pleased with my speech and good about myself. Way to go!

* Adapted from Joe Ayers and Theodore S. Hopf, Visualization: Is It More Than

Extra Attention? Communication Education 38 (1989): 2 3.

visualization The process of systematically

picturing oneself succeeding as a

speaker and practicing a speech with that

image in mind.

Public Speaking, Eighth Edition, by Michael Osborn, Suzanne Osborn and Randall Osborn. Published by Allyn & Bacon.

Copyright © 2007 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Chapter 2 Managing Your Fear of Speaking 41

To use visualization effectively, start with relaxation exercises and then run your

script for success through your mind. Do this several times as you practice your

speech, and then again immediately before you present your speech in class.

Skills Training

Think back to a time in your childhood when you acquired a new skill. It might

have been learning to swim or to use a computer. The more you learned and the

more you practiced, the more confident you became. The more confident you

became, the less afraid you were. Before too long, you were jumping into the deep

end of the pool without hesitation or finding materials online without asking anyone

for help.

The same type of learning relationship exists between knowledge, practice, confidence,

and public speaking. When you know how to prepare a speech and have

adequately practiced your presentation, you will feel more confident and have less

communication anxiety.

Although learning the fundamentals of public speaking through skills training

is important, it is also important to have responsible knowledge of your subject

matter to speak confidently on it. Select a topic you already know something about,

and then conduct research to supplement that basic information. Go to the library,

use the Internet, and interview a local expert. Then you will be prepared to speak

with authority and confidence. (Read more about researching in Chapter 7.)

Keep in mind that practicing is an important part of your preparation. Highly

anxious students often spend a lot of time researching and organizing their

speeches, but then they don t spend enough time actually practicing their presentations.

17 So practice, and then practice some more. The more you master the presentation

of your message, the more confident you will be.

A final word of advice: When you rise to speak, act confident even if you don t

feel that way. Walk briskly to the front of the room, look at your audience, and establish

eye contact. If appropriate to your topic and purpose, smile. Whatever happens

during your speech, remember that your listeners cannot see or hear what s happening

inside you. They only know what you show and tell them. Show them a controlled

speaker presenting a well-researched and well-rehearsed speech. Never start

skills training Developing speaking

abilities that help speakers control

communication apprehension.

Speaker s Notes 2.3

Ten Ways to Control Communication Apprehension

Apply the following strategies to help control your communication apprehension.

1. Prepare a well-researched and carefully organized

message.

2. Practice your presentation until it flows smoothly.

3. Focus on communicating with your audience.

4. Practice selective relaxation.

5. Replace negative, self-defeating statements with positive

ones.

6. Visualize yourself being successful.

7. Select a topic that excites you.

8. Master your topic so that you can speak with authority.

9. Act confident even if you don t feel that way initially.

10. Take advantage of other opportunities to speak in public.

Help your students objectify their

communication anxiety by asking

them to keep a diary in which

they describe any related problems

they may experience before

and during the first speech. After

their speeches, ask them to

develop a plan to control these

problems. Meet separately with

the more anxious students in

your class.

Public Speaking, Eighth Edition, by Michael Osborn, Suzanne Osborn and Randall Osborn. Published by Allyn & Bacon.

Copyright © 2007 by Pearson Education, Inc.

42 Part One The Foundations of Public Speaking

1. Write down three negative messages you often

send yourself, such as Im going to forget what I

want to say. Restate these messages in more

positive ways. For example, the message just

quoted could be restated as My key-word outline

will help me keep my place. Share these messages

with a small group of your classmates. Were there

any similarities among the negative messages?

Could your classmates offer you, or could you

offer them, any suggestions for improving these

restatements?

2. Make a list of all the questionable things you may

have tried to control your communication anxiety,

such as avoiding eye contact or reading your

speech (or even delaying taking the class). In

what ways were these efforts self-defeating? Which

of the positive techniques we have discussed

(selective relaxation, communication orientation,

cognitive restructuring, visualization) do you think

might work best for you? Why? Share these

insights with your classmates.

Date: 2015-02-16; view: 1319