Don’t engage in the discussion

In your replies, keep it simple and short – with “I see” or “Okay”. Don’t assert your stand, don’t try to probe why he/she said what he/she said, don’t try to explain yourself either. The naysayer can come up with all sorts of reasons why he/she is right and why you’re wrong, which is just a waste of time. Put it simply, they’re as staunch in their stance as you are in yours, and there’s no need to seek any agreement too. Switch topic if you have to. With nothing to continue on, the naysayer will stop there. Also remember tip #1 – make a mental note to safeguard your goals from them in the future.

6) Surround yourself with enablers

Rather than face negativity, surround yourself with positivity instead. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so choose the best 5 people you want to spend time around. In Day 19 of 30DLBL, we work on building our success network of 5, which are the 5 people whom we want to emulate in real life.

Think about the people who are supportive or would be supportive of your goals if you told them. Think about how you can increase the time you spend with them starting from today.

If you don’t have any such people in your life, it’s okay. Think of the people out there in this world who are doing what you want to do, then increase your contact with their works, such as their books, their interviews, their TV shows, and so on. Back when I was still in my corporate job, I knew absolutely no one in real life who was in the same situation as me. I didn’t know anyone who had branched off to pursue his/her passion either. There was no reference point for me in my list of contacts. After I quit my job, I immediately surrounded myself with the best-selling self-help books, connected with other personal development bloggers online and read related blogs that would help me in my journey. Doing this made me feel like I had a whole network of people supporting me in my goals.

Remember you’re not alone in your goals – there’s Personal Excellence which you’re reading now, and all the articles in the Readers’ Favorites section. There’s also PE Forums – Personal Excellence Forums, where many amazing people hang out there. The forums has been the birthplace of many positive habits and improved lives since it was launched last year.

7) Think back to your vision for yourself

Last but not least, think about your ideal vision. What is your ideal vision for your life? Whenever you get distracted by naysayers, it’s only because you’ve taken your eyes off your goals. If that’s the case, all you need to do is to look back at them. Recall what exactly you want to achieve. Think about what exactly you want to get out of your life. Then ask yourself if it’s worth it to put them on hold because of a couple of naysayers. The answer is always a clear ‘no’ to me.

Don’t deny yourself of the life you should live just because of these people. At the same time, make sure you’re not being a naysayer to others.

Date: 2015-01-12; view: 872