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The Parisienne as Seen by a Parisian ManGet the Basics APHORISMS THE PARISIENNE AS SEEN BY A PARISIAN MAN WHAT YOU WON’T FIND IN HER CLOSET THE MOST FAMOUS PARISIENNES ARE FOREIGNERS 1:00 P.M.: FIRST DATE AT THE CAFÉ DE FLORE A SERIOUS TEXT ABOUT HUMOR PARISIAN PUZZLE—WINTER/SUMMER A KIND OF BLUE A MOTHER WITH FLAWS HOW TO ANSWER THE TELEPHONE WHEN HE FINALLY CALLS VIRTUES OF THE SIGNATURE ITEM AU NATUREL PUBLIC PRIVACY FAUX PAS SAFETY KIT: BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 1 Own Your Bad Habits YES. BUT NO. BUT YES. HOW TO MAKE HIM THINK YOU HAVE A LOVER HER OWN HIGHWAY CODE KISS AND PLAY HOSTING A DINNER PARTY: BEHIND THE SCENES COOL OR COLD? WHERE DOES THIS POUT COME FROM? WHERE DOES THIS POUT COME FROM? PARISIAN SNOBBISMS AN OFF DAY AT WORK HARD TO ADMIT NOT YOUR MOST GLORIOUS MOMENTS HOW TO DESTABILIZE A MAN THE 6:00 P.M. DEBATE: THE GYM SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 2 Cultivate Your Allure 24-HOUR LOOK THE ESSENTIALS LESS IS MORE ON A PARISIENNE’S BOOKSHELF THE MINISKIRT SAVE YOUR SKIN WHEN YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING WOMEN IN BLACK OFF THE RADAR NAVY BLUE THE PARISIENNE AS SEEN BY AN AMERICAN NOVELIST THE SIMONES IN THE COUNTRYSIDE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF TAKE YOUR TIME TRINKETS AND TREASURES SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 3 Dare to Love THE IDEAL MAN AN OPTIMISTIC VIEW ON LOVE A WOMAN’S REAL ASSETS IN LOVE WITH LOVE A MOTHER’S ADVICE ON LOVE A LITTLE EXTRA SOMETHING THE PARTY AFTER-SEX LUNCH—HAPPY ENDING BEING NAKED GIRLS GANG THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY NOT A WEDDING SEPARATE BEDROOMS SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 4 Parisian Tips SPENDING TIME THE PARISIAN WAY PARIS CUTOUTS THE ABC’S OF CHEATING THE ART OF MAKE-BELIEVE CLASSIC (AND FOOLPROOF) FRENCH RECIPES SETTING THE TABLE ON YOUR MANTELPIECE YOU’LL BE A MAN, MY SON LIGHTEN UP PLAYDATE LITTLE BIG TREATS SUNDAY RECIPES ANCESTRAL TIPS (WE NEVER FORGET OUR ROOTS) WHEN YOU WATCH THESE FILMS, YOU’RE IN PARIS SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 5 WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON FIFTEEN WORDS YOU NEED ADDRESS BOOK ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ILLUSTRATION CREDITS A Note About the Authors
INTRODUCTION The truth is out: Parisiennes aren’t privy to a secret “skinny” gene, they aren’t always easy to be with, and aren’t all perfect mothers. In fact, they are very imperfect, vague, unreliable, and full of paradoxes. But they can also be funny, attentive, curious, and ironic, and they know how to enjoy life. We are four Parisian women who have been friends for ages. We are very different in many ways but always agree about the important things. We’ve spent countless long nights laughing with each other and sharing that typically French enthusiasm for transforming life into fiction. As you’ll discover, Parisian women spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to spin every episode of their existence into a very good story. Our aim here is to give you an insight into the quintessentially Parisian art of being a woman. We’re methodical and yet shambolic, proud and yet self-deprecating, loyal and yet unfaithful. We’ll point out our attitude, nonchalance, our low-key style, what we are like in love, and how we choose to spend our days and nights. We hope that the following pages will dispel the mystery.
GET THE BASICS
APHORISMS To be read out loud every night before going to bed. Even when inebriated: Don’t be afraid of aging. As the saying goes, don’t be afraid of anything but fear itself. The Parisienne as Seen by a Parisian Man Who could I ask for the perfect definition of the Parisienne? I’d asked myself that question countless times, until I had an epiphany. Of course: ask him. That guy in the kitchen who happens to share my life. He was surprised by my question, and muttered a few words to himself. I watched him, exasperated. Doesn’t he have anything original to say, something beyond the usual clichés about our incredible style and iconic perfume? “Wait, you’re being serious? We’re really talking about this?” he asked, before leaning against the sink. And then he started, and didn’t stop. As though reciting a prayer learned by heart, one he knew with his eyes closed. First off, he says, the Parisienne is never satisfied. Here’s proof: I’m telling you how gorgeous you are and it’s never enough.
The Parisienne thinks she’s a role model. She can fill blogs and books with life advice. In fact, she loves being asked what she thinks. And of course that makes sense because she’s already done everything. Seen everything. She knows it all. For example, the Parisienne will always refer you to her doctor—he’s a genius. Her dentist—he’s an artist, his work is like a fine jeweler’s. And her gynecologist—well, of course, Catherine Deneuve goes to him, too. The Parisienne, shamelessly snobbish, issuch a snob that she’s perfectly comfortable letting everyone know it. What’s wrong with that? The Parisienne is arrogant. Her thing is art, culture, and politics. She cultivates herself the same way she cares for her radishes growing on the balcony—that is, with love. Watering can in hand, she’ll tell you how the last film to win the Palme d’Or is rotten tomatoes. But she probably hasn’t even seen it. The Parisienne already knows what she must think: the opposite of what you think, no matter what. The Parisienne is always late. Unlike you, she has important things to do, she’s a busy woman. She’ll never wear makeup on a date. Naturally, her inner beauty needs no artifice. On the other hand, she won’t hesitate to wear lipstick to the bakery on Sunday morning, because what if she runs into someone she knows? Her paranoia verges on megalomania. If her unquenchable thirst for subjects of dismay were used to solve equations, she’d get the Nobel Prize in mathematics every year. Watch out if she says your new boyfriend is “so original.” For her, “original” is not a compliment. She never crosses the street where she’s supposed to; she claims it’s her rebellious side. People who wait in lines stress her out. She doesn’t always say thank you, doesn’t always say hi, but will complain about the rudeness of Parisian waiters. She’s outspoken and can swear like a sailor. She’s horrified when people politely say “Bon appétit!” Poor taste is worse than poor diplomacy. She always wears her sunglasses, even when it rains. But she despises movie stars who hide behind them. In a nutshell (and, trust me, I know her well), I’d say the Parisienne is completelycuckoo! WHAT YOU WON’T FIND IN HER CLOSET
Truth be told, if the Parisienne could wear just a Burberry trench and nothing underneath, she would be in heaven.
Date: 2016-01-14; view: 596
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Find “your” perfume before you turn thirty. Wear it for the next thirty years. 
