Social Status at School

Just as with other abilities, children vary widely in how well they are able to form friendships and gain peer acceptance. Because students grade each other, children gain different levels of social status at school. Social status represents the child's standing or position relative to other members of the class.

Some children are well endowed with social skills. They are popular and very well liked by all or most of their peers. Some seem to have a knack for making friends and getting along with others. They are very friendly and outgoing and always seem to be at ease around people. Other children are popular because they are on the school football team, play in a band, can draw very well or are really good-looking. Popular students are typically the leaders at school. They are self-confident and influential.

Many students are not really considered popular but are pretty well liked by their peers and have a number of friends. This group of children usually comprises the majority of the students in a class. These likeable children feel good about how they relate to others but may, at times, worry about what their classmates think of them.

Some children are shy, quiet and timid. They may have one or two close friends but not a large group of friends. While other students like them, they do not get involved in many activities in or out of school. They tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable around people they don't know very well. Shy children usually aren't unhappy about how they get along with others but wish that they could feel more comfortable and be more involved. Some shy children become anxious in social situations.

Other students are ignored or unnoticed by their peers. No one really dislikes or likes them. These children are not the ones picked first for activities, but they are not the ones that are teased or bullied either. They are usually social adept. Some of these children don't like being ignored but others don't mind because they are more interested in solitary activities or prefer interactions with adults more than with peers.

The children who have the most social difficulty at school are those that are rejected by their peers. Other children really don't like them and may not treat them well. Rejected children are those that are picked on, laughed at, talked about, teased and bullied. They are widely disliked, excluded from activities and may be ostracized by their peers.

Another group of children are viewed in varying ways by different students. Some students like them a lot, others ignore them and others reject them. They are considered controversial.

Children are rejected by their peers for many reasons. It may be hard to like them because of their misbehavior. They seem mean and may bully other students, get into fights, act out in class or frequently get into trouble. Aggressive children have little idea of how their disruptive behavior affects their relationships with others. Other children are rejected because they are withdrawn, passive and anxious in the presence of their peers. They spend much of their time in isolation. Other children are rejected because they are different. They may look different, dress differently or learn differently. Their clothes, haircut or mannerisms may not match the current vogue. They may be "klutzes", short, overweight or have a physical handicap. They may have trouble learning in the same ways as most children and be thought of as dumb or stupid. Unfortunately, these children are often the targets of teasing and bullying by more popular and socially accepted students.

Sometimes popular students may find that they can enhance their social status by leading the offense against children with social skill problems. Other students who want to gain the favor of popular students willingly collaborate against their rejected classmates, only increasing the humiliation and despair that rejected students feel. Adults in their roles as parents, teachers and school administrators should intervene swiftly when they see vulnerable children become the targets for more socially adept children.

While it can be a problem to have no friends in school, it can also be a problem to need friends too much. Many children who are rejected by their peers are unhappy. They feel alone and believe that no one cares about them. Some view acting out as their only way to get the attention they desire from others. In their minds, getting negative attention is better than getting no attention at all. Some children who are rejected by their peers are so desperate to be liked that they will do anything to be accepted. They may join gangs, use drugs and even commit crimes to gain peer acceptance and a sense of belonging in a group. Being accepted by a group is the only way that these children can feel good about themselves. They cannot tolerate social isolation and are terrified of being left out.

Other children don't mind being left out sometimes and don't need to be liked by everyone. They believe that not everyone needs or wants to be popular. Some children want to be different and should be admired for their individuality and willingness to be who they are. These children are not socially inept and are usually not the targets of teasing or bullying.

Date: 2015-12-18; view: 955