I wanted to change the world, so I got up one morning and looked in the mirror. That one looking back said, "There is not much time left. The earth is wracked with pain. Children are starving. Nations remain divided by mistrust and hatred. Everywhere the air and water have been fouled almost beyond help. Do something!"
That one in the mirror felt very angry and desperate. Everything looked like a mess, a tragedy, a disaster. I decided he must be right. Didn't I feel terrible about these things, too, just like him? The planet was being used up and thrown away. Imagining earthly life just one generation from now made me feel panicky.
It was not hard to find the good people who wanted to solve the earth's problems. As I listened to their solutions, I thought, "There is so much good will here, so much concern." At night before going to bed, that one in the mirror looked back at me seriously, "Now we'll get somewhere," he declared. "If everybody does their part."
But everybody didn't do their part. Some did, but were they stopping the tide? Were pain, starvation, hatred, and pollution about to be solved? Wishing wouldn't make it so -- I knew that. When I woke up the next morning, that one in the mirror looked confused. "Maybe it's hopeless," he whispered.. Then a sly look came into his eyes, and he shrugged. "But you and I will survive. At least we are doing all right."
I felt strange when he said that. There was something very wrong here. A faint suspicion came to me, one that had never dawned so clearly before. What if that one in the mirror isn't me? He feels separate. He sees problems "out there" to be solved. Maybe they will be, maybe they won't. He'll get along. But I don't feel that way -- those problems aren't "out there," not really. I feel them inside me. A child crying in Ethiopia, a sea gull struggling pathetically in an oil spill, a mountain gorilla being mercilessly hunted, a teenage soldier trembling with terror when he hears the planes fly over : Aren't these happening in me when I see and hear about them?
The next time I looked in the mirror, that one looking back had started to fade. It was only an image after all. It showed me a solitary person enclosed in a neat package of skin and bones. "Did I once think you were me?" I began to wonder. I am not so separate and afraid. The pain of life touches me, but the joy of life is so much stronger. And it alone will heal. Life is the healer of life, and the most I can do for the earth is to be its loving child.
That one in the mirror winced and squirmed. He hadn't thought so much about love. Seeing "problems" was much easier, because love means complete self-honesty. Ouch!
"Oh, friend," I whispered to him, "do you think anything can solve problems without love?" That one in the mirror wasn't sure. Being alone for so long, not trusting others and being trusted by others, it tended to detach itself from the reality of life. "Is love more real than pain?" he asked.
"I can't promise that it is. But it might be. Let's discover," I said. I touched the mirror with a grin. "Let's not be alone again. Will you be my partner? I hear a dance starting up. Come." That one in the mirror smiled shyly. He was realizing we could be best friends. We could be more peaceful, more loving, more honest with each other every day.
Would that change the world? I think it will, because Mother Earth wants us to be happy and to love her as we tend her needs. She needs fearless people on her side, whose courage comes from being part of her, like a baby who is brave enough to walk because Mother is holding out her arms to catch him. When that one in the mirror is full of love for me and for him, there is no room for fear. When we were afraid and panicky, we stopped loving this life of ours and this earth. We disconnected. Yet how can anybody rush to help the earth if they feel disconnected? Perhaps the earth is telling us what she wants, and by not listening, we fall back on our own fear and panic.
One thing I know : I never feel alone when I am earth's child. I do not have to cling to my personal survival as long as I realize, day by day, that all of life is in me. The children and their pain; the children and their joy. The ocean swelling under the sun; the ocean weeping with black oil. The animals hunted in fear; the animals bursting with the sheer joy of being alive.
This sense of "the world in me" is how I always want to feel. That one in the mirror has his doubts sometimes. So I am tender with him. Every morning I touch the mirror and whisper, "Oh, friend, I hear a dance. Will you be my partner? Come."
Wings Without Me
It was August, and I was looking up at the sky. With one hand shielding my eyes, I made out a falcon soaring on the currents of hot swirling air. Higher and higher it spiraled, until with one unearthly shriek, it disappeared.
All at once I felt left behind. "Why did you grow wings without me?" I mourned. Then my spirit said, "The falcon's way is not the only way. Your thoughts are as free as any bird." So I shut my eyes and my spirit took off, spiraling as high as the falcon and then beyond, so that I was looking down over the whole earth. But something was wrong. Why did I feel so cold and alone?
"You grew wings without me," my heart said. "What good is freedom without love?" So I went quietly to the bed of a sick child and sang him a lullaby. He fell asleep smiling, and my heart took off, joining my spirit as it circled over the earth. I was free and loving, but still something was wrong.
"You grew wings without me," my body said. "Your flights are only imagination." So I looked into books that I had ignored before and read about saints in every age who actually flew. In India, Persia, China, and Spain (even in Los Angeles!), the power of spirit has reached, not just into the heart, but into every cell of the body. "As if carried aloft by a great eagle," Saint Teresa said, "my ecstasy lifted me into the air."
I began to believe in this amazing feat, and for the first time, I didn't feel left behind. I was the falcon and the child and the saint. In my eyes their lives became sacred, and the truth came home: When all life is seen as divine, everyone grows wings.
Trust
As I was feeding squirrels in the park, I noticed a small one that didn't seem to trust me. While the others came close enough to eat out of my hand, he kept his distance. I threw a peanut his way. He edged up, grabbed it nervously, and ran off. Next time he must have felt less afraid, because he came a little closer. The safer he felt, the more he trusted me. Finally he sat right at my feet, as bold as any squirrel clamoring for the next peanut.
Trust is like that -- it always seems to come down to trusting in yourself. Others can't overcome fear for you; you have to do it on your own. It's hard, because fear and doubt hold on tight. We are afraid of being rejected, of being hurt once more. So we keep a safe distance. We think separating ourselves from others will protect us, but that doesn't work, either. It leaves us feeling alone and unloved.
Trusting yourself begins by recognizing that it's okay to be afraid. Having fear is not the problem, because everyone feels anxious and insecure sometimes. The problem is not being honest enough to admit your fear. Whenever I accept my own doubt and insecurity, I'm more open to other people. The deeper I go into myself, the stronger I become, because I realize that my real self is much bigger than any fear.
In accepting yourself completely, trust becomes complete. There is no longer any separation between people, because there is no longer any separation inside. In the space where fear used to live, love is allowed to grow.
Will You Be There
Hold me like the River Jordan
And I will then say to thee
You are my friend
Carry me like you are my brother
Love me like a mother
Will you be there?
When weary tell me will you hold me?
When wrong, will you mold me?
When lost will you find me?
But they told me a man should be faithful
And walk when not able
And fight till the end
But I'm only human
Everyone's trying to control me
Seems that the world's got a role for me
I'm so confused
Will you show to me
You'll be there for me
And care enough to bear me?
Hold me, show me
Lay your head lowly
Gently and boldly
Carry me there
I'm only human
Carry, carry
Carry me boldly
Gently and slowly
Carry me there
I'm only human
Knead me
Love me and feed me
Kiss me and free me
And I will feel blessed
Lonely
When I'm cold and lonely
And needing you only
Will you still care?
Will you be there?
Save me
Heal me and bathe me
Softly you say to me
I will be there
But will you be there?
Hold me
Hug me and shield me
Touch me and heal me
I know you care
But will you be there?
Lonely
When I'm cold and lonely
(I get lonely sometimes, I get lonely)
And needing you only
Will you still care?
Will you be there?
Carry
Carry me boldly
Gently and slowly
Carry me there
Knead me
Love me and feed me
Kiss me and free me
And I will feel blessed
Call me
Save me and face me
Bless me and say to me
I will be there
I know you care
Save me
Heal me and bathe me
Softly you say to me
I will be there
But will you be there?
Feed me
Feed me and soothe me
When I'm lonely and hungry
Will you still share?
Will you still care?
Nurse me
Soothe me, don't leave me
When I'm hurting and bleeding
Bruised and bare
Will you still care?
Kiss me
Face me and kiss me
And when my heart is breaking
Will you still care?
Will you be here?
Lift me
Lift me up carefully
I'm weary and falling
I know you're there
But do you still care?
Two Birds
It's hard to tell them what I feel for you. They haven't ever met you, and no one has your picture. So how can they ever understand your mystery? Let's give them a clue:
Two birds sit in a tree. One eats cherries, while the other looks on. Two birds fly through the air. One's song drops like crystal from the sky while the other keeps silent. Two birds wheel in the sun. One catches the light on its silver feathers, while the other spreads wings of invisibility.
It's easy to guess which bird I am, but they'll never find you. Unless...
Unless they already know a love that never interferes, that watches from beyond, that breathes free in the invisible air. Sweet bird, my soul, your silence is so precious. How long will it be before the world hears your song in mine?
Oh, that is a day I hunger for!
When Babies Smile
When dreamers dream and kiss their lover And rainbows weave and splash their color Those are moments so gloriously alive We take the plunge, take the dive Into the abyss We are suspended awhile Those are moments when babies smile
Those are moments when fate is unsealed Nothing is impossible and we are healed We can soar, we can fly Walk on fire, navigate the sky In the light of a glittering star There's no distance, nothing is far Those are moments of innocent guile In the glow We are suspended awhile Those are moments when babies smile
Those are moments when the heart is tender When seascapes gleam in magnificent splendor When the laughter of Heaven reverberates the Earth And we are renewed in a new birth In a timeless Eternity In the angels' fraternity We romp and roll The playground of our soul In the twilight We are suspended awhile Those are moments when babies smile
Those are moments we're one with God All is well, nothing is odd In silent reflection We feel our perfection We are the source, we are the crucible Nothing can hurt us, for we are invincible There is no sin, there is no sinner We can only win, we have felt the glimmer In the bliss We're floating awhile Those are moments when babies smile
Kingdoms topple, lose their class Civilizations crumble, ages pass Turbulent tempests ravage the seas Violent killings, despite our pleas But dewdrops sparkle when children play Tyrants cry, there's nothing to slay Fairies dance and goblins sing All are crowned, all are king In the Garden We frolic awhile Those are moments when babies smile