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NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE
[Erm].
HECTOR
No.
I’m not cool.
NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE
[Erm] no.
HECTOR
So, I will go shopping.
NICK
Here we go again.
Hector! You can’t go out there on your own.
You went shopping on the Internet.
HECTOR
Yes.
NICK
Ha-ha!
You ordered melons instead of lemons and too many eggs.
Have you ever been to a supermarket?
HECTOR
No.
My …
NICK
Who are these?
HECTOR
My …
NICK
… Servants.
HECTOR
Yeah, my servants..
NICK
Servants.
Now I understand.
BRIDGET
Come on Hector, I will teach you how to shop, Hector …
ANNIE
‘Till you drop.
Bridget and I will be the shopkeepers.
BRIDGET
And you are our customer!
HECTOR
OK. [Clears throat]
Good afternoon.
BRIDGET
Good afternoon!
ANNIE
Can I help you sir?
HECTOR
Eh?
BRIDGET
What would you like to buy?
HECTOR
Oh, I would like some …
ANNIE
… Clothes!
HECTOR
Yes, I would like some clothes, please.
BRIDGET
What size?
HECTOR
Eh?
BRIDGET
What … size.
HECTOR
I don’t know.
BRIDGET
I’ll have to measure you then.
Arms up please.
HECTOR
Eh?
ANNIE
Arms up, please.
HECTOR
Oh, arms up, please.
BRIDGET
Chest.
Ooh! One hundred and twelve centimetres!
ANNIE
Chest, one hundred and twelve centimetres.
BRIDGET
And waist.
Eighty two centimetres.
ANNIE
Waist, eighty two centimetres.
BRIDGET
And … l-e-g!! [laughs] …
NICK
I’ll do that!
BRIDGET
No, it’s OK!
NICK
[Clears throat]
Eight-ty seven centimetres!
BRIDGET
Now, do you like these trousers?
ANNIE
Do you like this shirt?
HECTOR
Ye-es.
BRIDGET
Good, that’s [erm] …
Five thousand pounds.
HECTOR
OK.
ANNIE
No, no, no Hector.
Five thousand pounds is, is … eight thousand dollars!
HECTOR
Yeah.
BRIDGET
It’s too much, it’s too expensive.
NICK
Not for Hector!
HECTOR
So, I am ready to go shopping!
Ha ha!
ANNIE
Good luck.
BRIDGET
Yeah, good luck.
NICK
You’ll need it!
BRIDGET & ANNIE
[Sneezing]
BRIDGET
Where’s my lemon drink, Nick?
ANNIE
Nick, are there any more tissues?
NICK
All right, I’m coming as fast as I can!
OK.
ANNIE
Oh, I feel awful.
BRIDGET
Oh, me too.
Nothing will make me feel better.
Sound of knocking on door
ANNIE
Oh, can you get that please Nick?
NICK
Oh, it’s only Hector.
HECTOR
Well, is it cool?
NICK
Wow, man! Well done!
You look great!
HECTOR
I would like a shirt, please.
BRIDGET
Excellent!
Oh the clothes are super!
HECTOR
And a pair of trou-sers.
ANNIE
Oh, you are clever, Hector!
HECTOR
And a pair of shoes, please! [Laughs]
I have been shopping!
Sound of intercom
BRIDGET
Oh, I’ll get it.
Hello.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
It’s me.
BRIDGET
Oh, hello.
It’s the tarantula!
How are you?
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Fine, thank you.
BRIDGET
Oh, good, good.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
How’s your cold?
BRIDGET
How’s my cold?
Well how did you know I have a cold?
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
You told me this morning.
HECTOR
Me, I am Bridget.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
I don’t believe you.
HECTOR
Yes, I have a cold. [Sneezes]
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Oh, I’m sorry.
HECTOR
Thank you.
[Sneezes]
BRIDGET
Yes, silly me!
I told you this morning.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Why are four hundred tins of dog food here for Annie?
BRIDGET
Pardon?
I don’t know.
… Well, how strange!
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Four hundred tins.
BRIDGET
Yes, that’s a lot of tins.
Well I really don’t know.
Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Can you ask Annie?
BRIDGET
Yes, I’ll ask Annie, goodbye.
The tarantula said, why have four hundred tins of dog food downstairs?
ANNIE
Four hundred tins?
Date: 2015-12-17; view: 1148
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