Thumping noise/sound of Bridget screaming
ANNIE
Oh, hi Hector.
HECTOR
Hi Annie.
ANNIE/HECTOR
Em, Hector/Annie …
HECTOR
Oh, no, you go first.
ANNIE
Oh, no, you first.
HECTOR
OK.
Annie, this wedding …
ANNIE
I was going to say “this wedding …”
HECTOR
Oh, OK, you say it then.
ANNIE
Oh – no – you.
HECTOR
OK, let’s write it down.
ANNIE
Good idea.
HECTOR
Ready?
ANNIE
Uhuh.
HECTOR
One, two, three, show!
ANNIE
Oh, yes Hector, let’s wait!
This wedding is a nightmare!
HECTOR
Yeah!
ANNIE
Let’s celebrate not getting married!
HECTOR
Yeah!
ANNIE
OK, erm, I’m going shopping now, but meet me at Leo’s Café at 5pm.
HECTOR
I’ll be there!
Sound of kissing
ANNIE
You must tell your mother!
Thank goodness she’s thousands of miles away in Argentina!
Sound of telephone ringing
HECTOR
Hola, Mamá.
MRS ROMERO
Hector, cariño. ¡Vengo a Londres!
ANNIE
Make sure you tell her before she leaves.
HECTOR
Escucha, Mamá… Annie y yo...
MRS ROMERO
Mi avión llega a las cinco a Heathrow. ¡Hasta pronto!
MRS ROMERO
Gracias, Antonio.
HECTOR
Oh no!!
ANNIE
Meet me at Leo’s café at 5pm.
HECTOR
Annie – or Mum?
MRS ROMERO
Mi avión llega a las cinco a Heathrow.
HECTOR
Mum – or Annie?
NICK [Composing email]
Bridget is very nice to me, it’s very strange!
BRIDGET
Nick, you’re so funny!
NICK [Composing email]
Hector thinks she wants to get married too!
NICK
Oh-ha!
NICK [Composing email]
Mm – anyway, as best man I am organising Hector’s stag night.
NICK
The stag night!
HECTOR
The what?
NICK [Composing email]
We are practising tonight!
NICK
We dress up!
HECTOR
As what?
NICK
Women.
BRIDGET [Composing email]
But you know, Nick is very cute.
NICK
Ah-uh!
BRIDGET
Especially in his fireman’s uniform!
BRIDGET
Oh you’re so strong!
Sound of plane landing
Sound of door opening and closing
HECTOR
Oh hi Nick, did you have a good day?
NICK
Gre-at! I saved London again.
Oh, and I was interviewed by Bridget.
Man, I thought she was going to ask me to marry her!
Ha-ha!
HECTOR
Gre-at.
NICK
OK, what’s up?
HECTOR
My mother is coming to London.
NICK
Ooh! Does Annie know?
HECTOR
No.
NICK
Oops!
HECTOR
But we have cancelled the wedding.
NICK
Wow!
Does your mother know?
HECTOR
No.
NICK
Whoops!
HECTOR
It gets worse.
I was supposed to meet both of them this afternoon in different places!
NICK
Ha-ha-ha – triple oops!
Oh Hector, don’t worry.
Women always forget.
HECTOR
Hmm.
Sound of telephone ringing
HECTOR
Oh.
HECTOR
Hola, Mamá.
MRS ROMERO
Hector. ¿Dónde estás?
HECTOR
Mamá... hay un problema...
MRS ROMERO
Oh no importa. Tomaré un taxi.
Sound of telephone ringing
HECTOR
Hi Annie.
ANNIE
Hector, where are you?
HECTOR
Annie, listen!
ANNIE
I’m glad we’re not getting married!
NICK
Ha-hmm.
So they didn’t forget!
Sound of vegetables being chopped
HECTOR
Annie please, listen to me!
ANNIE
What, or who is more important than me?
BRIDGET
Tut-tut-tut.
First marriage row!
HECTOR AND ANNIE
We are not getting married!
BRIDGET
Pardon me!
HECTOR
Annie, today was difficult, impossible.
ANNIE
I don’t want to know!
HECTOR
Annie – it’s my mother!
ANNIE
What about your mother?!
Sound of knocking on door
MRS ROMERO
Heeere’s mother!!
Hector darling! Mw-mw.
HECTOR
Hola, Mamá.
MRS ROMERO
Oh, speak to me in English.
I’ve taken lessons!
Where is Annie, where’s my little bride?
What a beauty! Hector! You’ve kept her beauty a secret!
HECTOR
No, Mamá – this is Bridget.
This is Annie.
MRS ROMERO
Oh!!
Donatella can help you.
HECTOR
Annie is the prettiest, sweetiest, kindest girl in the world.
MRS ROMERO
Really?
ANNIE
Didn’t you tell her the wedding is off?
HECTOR
I didn’t get the chance.
ANNIE
Well now’s the time.
HECTOR
[Clears throat]
Mum.
MRS ROMERO
Yes.
HECTOR
Annie and I have decided to …
ANNIE
… Wait a few years before we get married.
HECTOR
No nos casamos todavía.
MRS ROMERO
No wedding!
Oh no!! [Sound of crying]
Oh, thank you Bridget. [Sound of crying/nose blowing]
Do you have a boyfriend?
BRIDGET
I hope so, Mrs Romero.
MRS ROMERO
Oh – is he handsome?
BRIDGET
Yes, he’s very handsome – and muscular!
MRS ROMERO
I love macho men.
What’s his name?
BRIDGET
Nick – Nick Jessop!
MRS ROMERO
Nick?!
Hector’s best man!
BRIDGET
Yes, that’s him.
NICK
Time to party!
HECTOR
Mama – meet Nick.
BRIDGET
So, have you booked Westminster Abbey yet?!
COMMENTARY [v.o.]
Next time in EXTRA – Bridget tries to change Nick.
Hector’s mother comes to dinner, but why does Annie behave badly?
EXTRA – don’t miss it!
Date: 2015-12-11; view: 982
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