Sound of knocking on door

DELIVERY MAN

Courtesy of Mrs Romero – Wedding Dresses.

Sound of knocking on door

DELIVERY MAN

Courtesy of Mrs Romero – Honeymoons.

ANNIE

Hector’s mother is driving me mad!!

Maybe I should just cancel the wedding.

BRIDGET

Really?

Well I wouldn’t!

I suppose marriage will mean sacrifices.

No more shaving your legs on the toilet.

No more soaps on TV.

ANNIE

Oh no!!

BRIDGET

No more midnight chocolate feasts!

ANNIE

[Gasps]

BRIDGET

But then you will be Mrs Romero!

NICK

Do you think Bridget is ill?

HECTOR

No why?

NICK

She’s being very nice to me – very nice.

HECTOR

Well maybe she is ill.

NICK

She’s talking about weddings, you and Annie.

HECTOR

You don’t think she wants to get married too, do you?

NICK

Ha! Who to?

HECTOR

Well – you said she was being very nice to you.

NICK

No!

You don’t think?!

BRIDGET

Annie – I have something to tell you.

ANNIE

What?

BRIDGET

Nick.

ANNIE

Nick what?

BRIDGET

I fancy Nick.

NICK

Aagh! She did mean me!

Oh Hector – help!

Once you’re married – they’ve got you!

ANNIE

You fancy Nick?

BRIDGET

Yes I do, I do!

ANNIE

But you don’t like Nick.

BRIDGET

I do like Nick.

ANNIE

No you don’t, you think he’s an idiot!

BRIDGET

Yes, but he’s so macho!

ANNIE

You think he’s vain!

BRIDGET

But he’s so good looking!

ANNIE

Huh! You don’t like his clothes!

BRIDGET

But now he wears a fireman’s uniform.

ANNIE

Ah, so that’s it!

The uniform.

BRIDGET

He’s so sexy in London on Fire.

ANNIE

So, what are you going to do?

BRIDGET

Tomorrow I will interview him for Channel 9 …

ANNIE

… And then?

BRIDGET

You’ll just have to wait and see.

NICK

There’s one good thing about getting married.

HECTOR

Yeah, love.

NICK

No – no!

The Stag Night!

HECTOR

The what?

NICK

The Stag Night.

It’s when the bridegroom – that’s you, is taken out by his best man, that’s me to say – goodbye.

HECTOR

Goodbye?

NICK

Yep.

Goodbye to your fantastic life as a single man.

HECTOR

Oh.

NICK

Goodbye to drinking beer and watching football in bed.

HECTOR

Oh.

NICK

Goodbye to eating curry for breakfast.

HECTOR

Oh.

NICK

And worst of all – goodbye to Kylie Minogue!!

HECTOR and NICK

Oh!!

NICK

Don’t worry Hector – we will face this together!

HECTOR

Oh thank you Nick – you are a real friend!

NICK

Anyway – this stag night!

What are we going to do?

HECTOR

Go to the cinema?

NICK

Wha … ?!

In England – we do crazy things!

We party, we go to Brighton, we dress up …

HECTOR

… As what?

NICK

Women!

BRIDGET

So, I am here with Nick Jessop – or Pierce Steele, straight from the set of London on Fire – Nick.

NICK

Good evening.

BRIDGET

Do you think London on Fire accurately reflects the pressures on London’s emergency services?

NICK

Dunno! But the women are good looking! [Laughs]

BRIDGET

Erm, do you get very hot?

NICK

When?

BRIDGET

In the flames, when you’re filming.

NICK

No, not really.

BRIDGET

Do you take your jacket off sometimes?

NICK

Yeah, sometimes.

BRIDGET

When it gets very … hot?

NICK

Yeah.

BRIDGET

Do you want to take your jacket off now?

NICK

Erm, eh, no, not really.

BRIDGET

Erm, and what about the women?

NICK

The women?

BRIDGET

The women you rescue.

You carry them out of the house that is on fire.

NICK

Oh yeah.

BRIDGET

They must love it!

NICK

Well they are acting.

BRIDGET

And do they ask you to …?

NICK

Do they ask me to what?

BRIDGET

Take your jacket off.

NICK

Oh, erm, no.

BRIDGET

Will you take it off now?

NICK

Er – OK.

[Nervous laughter]

BRIDGET

Could you carry me?!

NICK

When?!

BRIDGET

Now!

Carry me like you do on London on Fire!

NICK

Er – OK.

BRIDGET

Oh … you’re so strong!

This is Bridget Evans with Nick Jessop for Channel 9.

Ah!

NICK

Shall I put you down now?

BRIDGET

Oh, do you have to?!!

Date: 2015-12-11; view: 872