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NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE
ANNIE
And I can see a great big bowl of dog food and on the bowl it says a name. It says... Charley! It must be tea-time, Charley!
BRIDGET
Guess what?
ANNIE
Ooh, you've just met Brad Pitt.
BRIDGET
What? Don't be ridiculous, Annie. I've just been to see Rose Marie.
ANNIE
Who's Rose Marie?
BRIDGET
My fortune teller, and she says I'm going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger!
ANNIE
Oooh! When?
BRIDGET
She didn't say.
ANNIE
Where?
BRIDGET
She didn't say.
ANNIE
It must be true then.
BRIDGET
Maybe I'll meet him at tonight's Halloween party. Ooh, have you read your horoscopes for today?
ANNIE
No.
BRIDGET
Read mine.
ANNIE
Aquarius, Libra, Leo - ah! Taurus, the Bull. "Taurus: Today you will be in for a big surprise."
BRIDGET
Oh, goodie!
Banging noise/sound of screaming
BRIDGET
I'm getting a name. It's. . . Nick.
NICK
Ooh, Gigi, you must be psychic! Oww!
HECTOR
Sidekick?
NICK
No, not sidekick - psy-chic - a fortune teller.
ANNIE
Someone who can see the future.
HECTOR
Ah, like Nostradamus.
ANNIE
Er...
NICK
Who?
ANNIE
Kind of .. like horoscopes or Tarot.
NICK
Ah, Tarot! The Death card. Look! It's Bridget with no make-up.
Sound of laughter
ANNIE
Like having the palm of your hand read.
NICK
Nah, rubbish. There's nothing there.
BRIDGET
What a surprise. Come here, give me your hand. I'll give you a lesson. This one is your life line.
NICK
Oooohhhh.....
BRIDGET
This one is your lurve line.
NICK
Oh yes!
BRIDGET
And this one is your...
NICK
Oooff!
BRIDGET
....punch line!
NICK
Aww!
HECTOR
Punch line?
NICK
She means it's the end of my lesson. Hey, Hector! What happens when you go to a fortune teller's house?
Sound of atmospheric harp music
HECTOR
Come in!
BRIDGET
Ha-ha. Let's see what your horoscope says.
NICK
Aw, you don't believe all that rubbish, do you?
ANNIE
Rose Marie says that Bridget is going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger.
BRIDGET
Hector?
ANNIE
Bridget, this is my tall, dark, handsome stranger. Get your own.
NICK
Who is Rose Marie?
BRIDGET
My fortune teller.
NICK
Oh!
Is she good-looking? Could she find me a cute babe?
BRIDGET
Do you want to hear your horoscope or not?
NICK
Go on then. Aquarius.
BRIDGET
Aquarius, eh? I should've guessed. "This week beware of black hair and the number 3."
NICK
Oooohhh. That means that three babes with black hair are going to chase me. Spooky!!
HECTOR
Oh, can I be Aquarius?
ANNIE
No!
NICK
Go on, Hector. Let's go out. I'm gonna meet some black-haired babes.
BRIDGET
Put that umbrella down. It's very unlucky.
NICK
But I'm feeling lucky! Oww! Ooh!
BRIDGET
Ooh, I wish I could meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger.
ANNIE
Well, let me look into my crystal ball.
BRIDGET
Annie, that's a goldfish bowl.
ANNIE
So? I got it right for Charley, didn't I, Charley.
Sound of knocking on door
BRIDGET
Ooh! That'll be my stranger now! Oh, hello, Bernard.
ANNIE
Hello, Bernard, how are you?
BERNARD
Not happy. Not happy at all. I've lost my marbles.
BRIDGET
Oh dear. Bernard's lost his marbles.
ANNIE
What? Oh! You mean Marbles, your cat!
BERNARD
And she's not well. She's got a cold.
ANNIE
Oh well, I'm sure you'll find her. We'll look out for her, Bernard.
BERNARD
I hope so. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
ANNIE
Poor Bernard.
BRIDGET
He's lost his marbles. Well it had to happen!
ANNIE [Composing email]
Today is Hallowe’en and I'm practising my psychic skills.
ANNIE
And on the bowl it says a name. It says … Charley!
ANNIE [Composing email]
Bridget has been to see Rose Marie, her fortune teller, who told her she would meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger.
BRIDGET
Hello, Bernard.
ANNIE [Composing email]
Then Bernard knocked on the door! Poor Bernard said he had lost his cat, Marbles.
BRIDGET
Oh dear! Bernard's lost his marbles!
ANNIE [Composing email]
Anyway, tonight we are all going to a Halloween party. I can't wait!
NICK [Composing email]
Bridget read my horoscope today.
NICK
Ah, you don’t believe all that rubbish, do you?
NICK [Composing email]
It said ‘Beware of black hair and the number three!’
NICK
Oooh!
NICK [Composing email]
I think it means three black haired babes …
NICK
… Are going to chase me! Spooky!
NICK [Composing email]
I don’t have to beware of them, do I?
NICK & HECTOR
Oww!!
HECTOR
This is a true story about a man and wife on their honeymoon. They were in the car. It was late. The wife broke her mirror, which means seven years' bad luck. Just then, they ran out of petrol, so the man told the wife to go for petrol.
ANNIE
He's the man. He should've gone.
HECTOR
Equal opportunities. The wife was gone for a long time. Then boom, boom, boom. He heard a noise on the roof of the car. It got louder - boom, boom - and then his wife appeared. She smiled and walked away. The noise was very loud now. The man got out of his car and standing on the roof he saw a madman holding his wife's head!
NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE
Ahhh!
NICK
So the banging was...
ANNIE
Her head?!
BRIDGET
But he’d just seen his wife!
HECTOR
That... was her ghost!
Date: 2015-12-11; view: 1105
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