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NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIEANNIE And I can see a great big bowl of dog food and on the bowl it says a name. It says... Charley! It must be tea-time, Charley! BRIDGET Guess what? ANNIE Ooh, you've just met Brad Pitt. BRIDGET What? Don't be ridiculous, Annie. I've just been to see Rose Marie. ANNIE Who's Rose Marie? BRIDGET My fortune teller, and she says I'm going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger! ANNIE Oooh! When? BRIDGET She didn't say. ANNIE Where? BRIDGET She didn't say. ANNIE It must be true then. BRIDGET Maybe I'll meet him at tonight's Halloween party. Ooh, have you read your horoscopes for today? ANNIE No. BRIDGET Read mine. ANNIE Aquarius, Libra, Leo - ah! Taurus, the Bull. "Taurus: Today you will be in for a big surprise." BRIDGET Oh, goodie! Banging noise/sound of screaming BRIDGET I'm getting a name. It's. . . Nick. NICK Ooh, Gigi, you must be psychic! Oww! HECTOR Sidekick? NICK No, not sidekick - psy-chic - a fortune teller. ANNIE Someone who can see the future. HECTOR Ah, like Nostradamus. ANNIE Er... NICK Who? ANNIE Kind of .. like horoscopes or Tarot. NICK Ah, Tarot! The Death card. Look! It's Bridget with no make-up. Sound of laughter ANNIE Like having the palm of your hand read. NICK Nah, rubbish. There's nothing there. BRIDGET What a surprise. Come here, give me your hand. I'll give you a lesson. This one is your life line. NICK Oooohhhh..... BRIDGET This one is your lurve line. NICK Oh yes! BRIDGET And this one is your... NICK Oooff! BRIDGET ....punch line! NICK Aww! HECTOR Punch line? NICK She means it's the end of my lesson. Hey, Hector! What happens when you go to a fortune teller's house? Sound of atmospheric harp music HECTOR Come in! BRIDGET Ha-ha. Let's see what your horoscope says. NICK Aw, you don't believe all that rubbish, do you? ANNIE Rose Marie says that Bridget is going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger. BRIDGET Hector? ANNIE Bridget, this is my tall, dark, handsome stranger. Get your own. NICK Who is Rose Marie? BRIDGET My fortune teller. NICK Oh! Is she good-looking? Could she find me a cute babe? BRIDGET Do you want to hear your horoscope or not? NICK Go on then. Aquarius. BRIDGET Aquarius, eh? I should've guessed. "This week beware of black hair and the number 3." NICK Oooohhh. That means that three babes with black hair are going to chase me. Spooky!! HECTOR Oh, can I be Aquarius? ANNIE No! NICK Go on, Hector. Let's go out. I'm gonna meet some black-haired babes. BRIDGET Put that umbrella down. It's very unlucky. NICK But I'm feeling lucky! Oww! Ooh! BRIDGET Ooh, I wish I could meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger. ANNIE Well, let me look into my crystal ball. BRIDGET Annie, that's a goldfish bowl. ANNIE So? I got it right for Charley, didn't I, Charley. Sound of knocking on door BRIDGET Ooh! That'll be my stranger now! Oh, hello, Bernard. ANNIE Hello, Bernard, how are you? BERNARD Not happy. Not happy at all. I've lost my marbles. BRIDGET Oh dear. Bernard's lost his marbles. ANNIE What? Oh! You mean Marbles, your cat! BERNARD And she's not well. She's got a cold. ANNIE Oh well, I'm sure you'll find her. We'll look out for her, Bernard. BERNARD I hope so. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. ANNIE Poor Bernard. BRIDGET He's lost his marbles. Well it had to happen! ANNIE [Composing email] Today is Hallowe’en and I'm practising my psychic skills. ANNIE And on the bowl it says a name. It says … Charley! ANNIE [Composing email] Bridget has been to see Rose Marie, her fortune teller, who told her she would meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger. BRIDGET Hello, Bernard. ANNIE [Composing email] Then Bernard knocked on the door! Poor Bernard said he had lost his cat, Marbles. BRIDGET Oh dear! Bernard's lost his marbles! ANNIE [Composing email] Anyway, tonight we are all going to a Halloween party. I can't wait! NICK [Composing email] Bridget read my horoscope today. NICK Ah, you don’t believe all that rubbish, do you? NICK [Composing email] It said ‘Beware of black hair and the number three!’ NICK Oooh! NICK [Composing email] I think it means three black haired babes … NICK … Are going to chase me! Spooky! NICK [Composing email] I don’t have to beware of them, do I? NICK & HECTOR Oww!! HECTOR This is a true story about a man and wife on their honeymoon. They were in the car. It was late. The wife broke her mirror, which means seven years' bad luck. Just then, they ran out of petrol, so the man told the wife to go for petrol. ANNIE He's the man. He should've gone. HECTOR Equal opportunities. The wife was gone for a long time. Then boom, boom, boom. He heard a noise on the roof of the car. It got louder - boom, boom - and then his wife appeared. She smiled and walked away. The noise was very loud now. The man got out of his car and standing on the roof he saw a madman holding his wife's head! NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE Ahhh! NICK So the banging was... ANNIE Her head?! BRIDGET But he’d just seen his wife! HECTOR That... was her ghost! Date: 2015-12-11; view: 984
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