Identifying Your Center

But where do you stand? What is at the center of your own life? Sometimes that isn't easy to see

Perhaps the best way to identify your own center is to look closely at your life-support factors. If

you can identify with one or more of the descriptions below, you can trace it back to the center from

which it flows, a center which may be limiting your personal effectiveness.

If you are Spouse Centered...

SECURITY

Your feelings of security are based on the way your spouse treats you.

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart You are highly vulnerable to the moods and feelings of your spouse.

There is deep disappointment resulting in withdrawal or conflict when your spouse disagrees with

you or does not meet your expectations.

Anything that may impinge on the relationship is perceived as a threat.

GUIDANCE

Your direction comes from your own needs and wants and from those of your spouse.

Your decision-making criterion is limited to what you think is best for your marriage or your mate,

or to the preferences and opinions of your spouse.

Your decision-making criterion is limited to what you think is best for your marriage or your mate,

or to the preferences and opinions of your spouse.

WISDOM

Your life perspective surrounds things which may positively or negatively influence your spouse or

your relationship.

POWER

Your power to act is limited by weaknesses in your spouse and in yourself.

* * *

If you are Family Centered...

SECURITY

Your security is founded on family acceptance and fulfilling family expectations.

Your sense of personal security is as volatile as the family.

Your feelings of self-worth are based on the family reputation.

GUIDANCE

Family scripting is your source of correct attitudes and behaviors.

Your decision-making criterion is what is good for the family, or what family members want.

WISDOM

You interpret all of life in terms of your family, creating a partial understanding and family

narcissism.

POWER

Your actions are limited by family models traditions.

* * *

If you are Money Centered...

SECURITY

Your personal worth is determined by your net worth.

You are vulnerable to anything that threatens your economic security.

GUIDANCE

Profit is your decision-making criterion.

WISDOM

Money-making is the lens through which life is seen and understood, creating imbalanced

judgment.

POWER

You are restricted to what you can accomplish with your money and your limited vision.

* * *

If you are Work Centered...

SECURITY

You tend to define yourself by your occupational role.

You are only comfortable when you are working.

GUIDANCE

You make your decisions based on the needs and expectations of your work.

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart WISDOM

You tend to be limited to your work role.

POWER

Your actions are limited by work role models, organizational constraints, occupational opportunities,

your boss's perceptions, and your possible inability at some point in your life to do that particular work.

* * *

If you are Possession Centered...

SECURITY

Your security is based on your reputation, your social status, or the tangible things you possess.

You tend to compare what you have to what others have.

GUIDANCE

You make your decisions based on what will protect, increase, or better display your possessions.

WISDOM

You see the world in terms of comparative economic and social relationships.

POWER

You function within the limits of what you can buy or the social prominence you can achieve.

* * *

If you are Pleasure Centered...

SECURITY

You feel secure only when you're on a pleasure "high.

Your security is short-lived, anesthetizing, and dependent on your environment.

GUIDANCE

You make your decisions based on what will give you the most pleasure.

WISDOM

You see the world in terms of what's in it for you.

POWER

Your power is almost negligible.

* * *

If you are Friend Centered...

SECURITY

Your security is a function of the social mirror.

You are highly dependent on the opinion of others.

GUIDANCE

Your decision-making criterion is "What will they think?

You are easily embarrassed.

WISDOM

You see the world through a social lens.

Your actions are as fickle as opinion.

POWER

You are limited by your social comfort zone.

* * *

If you are Enemy Centered...

SECURITY

Your security is volatile, based on the movements of your enemy.

You are always wondering what he is up to.

You seek self-justification and validation from the like-minded.

GUIDANCE

You are counter-dependently guided by your enemy's actions.

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart You make your decisions based on what will thwart your enemy.

WISDOM

Your judgment is narrow and distorted.

You are defensive, over-reactive, and often paranoid.

POWER

The little power you do have comes from anger, envy, resentment, and vengeance -- negative energy

that shrivels and destroys, leaving energy for littlle else.

* * *

If you are Church Centered...

SECURITY

Your security is based on church activity and on the esteem in which you are held by those in

authority or influence in the church.

You find identity and security in religious labels and comparisons.

GUIDANCE

You are guided by how others will evaluate your actions in the context of church teachings and

expectations.

WISDOM

You see the world in terms of "believers" and "non-believers," "belongers" and "non-belongers.

POWER

Perceived power comes from your church position or role.

* * *

If you are Self-Centered...

SECURITY

Your security is constantly changing and shifting.

GUIDANCE

Your judgment criteria are: "If it feels good..." "What I want." "What I need." "What's in it for me?

WISDOM

You view the world by how decisions, events, or circumstances will affect you.

POWER

Your ability to act is limited to your own resources, without the benefits of interdependency.

More often than not, a person's center is some combination of these and/or other centers. Most

people are very much a function of a variety of influences that play upon their lives. Depending on

external or internal conditions, one particular center may be activated until the underlying needs are

satisfied. Then another center becomes the compelling force.

As a person fluctuates from one center to another, the resulting relativism is like roller coasting

through life. One moment you're high, the next moment you're low, making efforts to compensate for

one weakness by borrowing strength from another weakness. There is no consistent sense of direction,

no persistent wisdom, no steady power supply or sense of personal, intrinsic worth and identity.

The ideal, of course, is to create one clear center from which you consistently derive a high degree of

security, guidance, wisdom, and power, empowering your proactivity and giving congruency and

harmony to every part of your life.

Date: 2015-02-03; view: 1113