Fuji and Chama in Kindergarten 4 page

H: I remember that like it was yesterday.

F: We thought we would get a reply right away, but when we didn’t, it was…a moment when we felt a difference in our levels of enthusiasm (laughs).

C: I talked to Fujiwara a lot, then.

F: That’s right, before the four of us talked, Chama and I would talk…About things like what we would do from then on. About how if they would be testing, then on top of being ok with it, we would have to give them time. We had to find out what their true intentions were, and then properly discuss it.

H: I wanted to do the band, definitely, but…I also wanted to go to college, like normal.

M: Same here. I absolutely wanted to continue band activities. I remember saying that if I could get into college, I would have more free time and could devote more time to us, so please just hang on for a little while longer.

C: I was mainly uneasy about the whole thing. Fujiwara too; around that time ‘useless Fuji-kun’ disappeared. He started working really hard. Sending out demo tapes, booking gigs. He was acting as our manager.

F: By that time I had already moved to Tokyo. I was living alone.

C: All I wanted to do was keep my promise to my dad, and then I would move to Tokyo when I turned 18. I think both of us thought that was going to happen. There was no need for me to go to college because I had decided I was going to become a professional. I think he didn’t want me to go either. At least, he never said I should. I didn’t think he wanted me to.

F: Chama said he wanted to persuade them to let him continue band activities and not go to college. I thought that was a personal decision he had to make.

C: So I wanted to know what the other two were thinking, and I asked…Hide-chan was very firm in his decision. He said he had no intention of quitting the band, and that even if he went to college he wouldn’t let it get in the way. I felt a little relieved when I heard that. But then Hiro…was extremely vague.

F: “I have parents and stuff…”

H: Right, I had parents to worry about.

C: I was really pissed off. Without stating his own opinion, he just said that his parents wouldn’t forgive him for making a living as a band member. I was like, no, I asked what you want, not what they want.

F: Chama was constantly grumbling about how horrible it was…That’s right, at that time, I was scouted out. Although I didn’t tell anyone just yet. They told me I should go solo, that they would provide me with new band members and I could quickly debut with them. I would also make a lot of money, and would finally be able to get clothes and CDs and instruments. I was really surprised that they wanted me to betray you guys. I felt like I had been hit. Like I reality had been thrust upon me. That was the first time I sat down and really thought about the band and the members. We were really unskilled, myself included. You guys were essential considering the kind of thankless work I was doing. I told them I wanted to remain a part of Bump of Chicken…That was when I resolved to go on with the current members, somehow or another. Chama and I felt mostly the same way about the other two, but I also thought that if they wanted to go to college that was fine, but if you want to continue being in the band you have to take responsibility, pass the exams, and come home. Don’t shirk your responsibilities using college as pretext. That’s all I told them.

C: I was happy when Hide-chan told me there was no possible way he would not be accepted. Hiro said the same thing. The four of made a promise.

M: While we were testing, we stopped doing gigs, although we practiced about once a month. I feel like Fujiwara was busy at his job then too.

F: I wrote songs and worked a part time job. I had a lot of jobs, actually. I think I had about 30 (laughs). I was really good at sales. I worked at a clothes store, a perfume store, a convenience store… separating garbage, too. It was good that I did that. I was a waiter at cafes and restaurants. I worked at a street vendor, and a greengrocer. I mean, if I didn’t have a paycheck I couldn’t do anything (laughs).

C: When it seemed as if the two of them were going to go to college, I was jealous. I woke up at five in the morning and went to the kitchen, and I would work until midnight, and then I studied until three.

F: If you ran into him on his way home, you’d notice he stunk of cooking oil.

C: And garlic (laughs). I didn’t have a youth. I stifled myself for three years. Tuesdays when everyone got together was the only time I could relax. But if I was accepted to college, even that would stop. So I was scared. I lived for Tuesdays. When I heard these two’s decision…See, in Hide-chan’s case, he promised me. He said he wouldn’t fail, and he put in a lot of effort. But Hiro was different (laughs). He said there was no way he’d fail; it was pure confidence (laughs).

H: Yeah (laughs).

F: The four of made a vow. First, we would suspend band activities. We would free up as much time as needed for studying. Occasionally, we would meet. During that time I was working and writing in Tokyo, sometimes playing guitar in other bands as a helper. I was also acting as the intermediary between us and the label. Chama was working to carry out his promise to his parents. The other two were studying…But what was really interesting was that I would get phone calls from Masukawa, asking me to come hang out.

C: I remember going to consult Hide-chan. It was the first time I had ever gone to his house; I had something I was worried about.

M: This guy, he opened the storm shutter and just walked right in in the middle of the night (laughs).

F/H: Hahahahahahaha!

C: (Laughs) But that was the first time I ever did that. Did you know?

H: I didn’t.

C: I had never seen Hide-chan messing around. The Hide-chan I saw was always playing drums or studying. Sometimes I was jealous of Hiro. Like when I heard he went to the beach (laughs). I said, “I don’t go to regular school, so I don’t know, but it seems like you can just mess around?” And Hide-chan said, “No, Hiro’s definitely not going to be accepted” (laughs)…When I went to Hiro’s house, there was a paper on his desk that had the number of attendances written on it, and there were a lot of absences. I wasn’t sure, but it looked bad. I don’t know about college, but isn’t this bad for high school? (laughs)

H: No, you were right. Yeah…It was kind of bad…

M: I think it was that you were under pressure to study, but you also enjoyed messing around. I understand that. It’s a feeling all test-takers have.

C: I don’t get it at all.

H: Well…

C: We asked him a number of times, but he never told us…”Why weren’t you accepted?”

All: Hahahahaha!

C: In fact, you got angry.

H: Yeah…It was the worst.

All: (Laughs)

F: Occasionally I would come home and we would practice, but one time, Masukawa wasn’t there and it was just Masu, Chama, and I. I asked Masu how his studying was going and it turned out he already got a recommendation. Really?! I was so surprised.

C: It was cool. I thought he was really cool. Right after we had our talk and went on hiatus, Hide-chan had already decided on a college. So we were able to practice together, the three of us.

F: then we waited for Masukawa. We never really saw him. In February or March I asked Masu if he had heard anything, and he said all he knew was that apparently, Masukawa hadn’t shown up to the testing place…There was no way he was accepted! (laughs)

H: I was an idiot (laughs).

C: Hiro didn’t tell us anything. We asked Hide-chan and he didn’t even know anything…

F: We got a really unfavorable answer. We were really dull (laughs).

C: We were still young. Now, we can look at it from a wider perspective, but back then that was everything. We couldn’t believe it. The biggest shock was that Hiro didn’t tell us himself. We made a vow, so we expected him to tell us.

F: Even if we got together he didn’t tell us (laughs).

C: It was past April and we still hadn’t heard anything.

H: Yeah…You know, I was…I was able to study in elementary school and middle school…I was good at it. I really liked arithmetic and science, and in high school I chose the science track. So some part of me thought it was impossible that I would fail. I was optimistic. Not at all…I failed (laughs). I thought I couldn’t tell you, I was all bad…

C: You were in a bad mood all the time. If we asked about the results you’d tell us, “I dunno!”

F: You said you didn’t think you’d find out soon. Since we weren’t familiar with entrance exams we didn’t know any better.

C: We had already waited a whole year, and we weren’t going to wait any longer. I went to Tokyo and moved in with Fujiwara. Hide-chan went to college and played drums.

H: I wasn’t in college or anything…

M: It was up to you what you were going to do next, but we were steadily getting gigs and things were moving along.

H: …I was at my wit’s end…

C: But I was really jealous (laughs)[…] I remember. You said you went on a trip with friends. I said to Hide-chan, “Is that really what life is like for people who don’t go to college?” – I always asked Hide-chan what was going on. Because if I asked Hiro, I wouldn’t get an answer. “Hide-chan, is life that easy for him?”

M: Fujiwara would sometimes tell me how they stayed out until morning, and I couldn’t really believe it.

F: Of course when we hung out I was happy.

C: Of course. After you hung out. I wasn’t worried…I was doubtful (laughs). But in the end, we were doing band stuff. Whether or not he would come, we couldn’t make him say. Then we had a really important discussion. After about half a year of me and Fujiwara living together, I just couldn’t understand what was going on with Hiro. We had made a promise, hadn’t we? Fujiwara and I went down to Shimokitazawa a lot, and music came like breathing to us. Fujiwara was leading Bump and doing the work for the rest of us. He went out to drink with ‘friends’ he didn’t want to see, that kind of thing.

F: Around that time people who saw us live started to call out to us.

C: And you got us bookings and everything. I knew all this; I lived with you, after all…While these two were in high school, and I was carrying out my prison term (laughs), he was doing everything; it was overwhelming. I started to think that he shouldn’t be with us. Compared to him, we three were just messing around. To Fuji-kun…I really had a fit. At two in the morning, I woke him up, “Fuji-kun, Fuji-kun!” “Whaaa?” (laughs). I said, “You should go on by yourself,” Hiro had failed the test, Hide-chan was in college. I don’t understand music as well as you; you’re already living like an adult. So don’t stay with us. Enough already…It was obvious that Fuji-kun was supporting us. While had a job, he didn’t. He only worked on music-related things. So it’s fine, just leave us – I was really worked up. I cried until morning (laughs).

F: You cried, you cried (laughs).

C: That was the first time we talked about maybe breaking up. You said, “There’s no meaning to doing music by myself,” “I certainly have the confidence to be the face of the band, but I don’t gain anything from it. I want to stay with you guys.” I cried so hard (laughs). We talked until morning.

F: Although Chama’s putting in like this now, I took it a little differently. “I want to be in this band, and I think the other guys do too, but we’re holding you back,” is how he said it. I remember saying that I would be lonely. “Don’t leave me out, we’re Bump of Chicken.”

C: …That made an impression on me. After hearing that, I could look at it all with a wider perspective – Hiro’s failure, Hide-chan’s studying. I saw it as more normal.

F: Another thing that happened was that one of my superiors at work fell for a girl at a hostess bar, and sunk all of our wages into her, and all the money evaporated. Three months’ worth of wages completely gone. For those three months, Chama had to shoulder all of the rent and everything (laughs). That was really bad of me (laughs).

C: I thought that since that was just the kind of company you held, nothing could be done about it…No, I wasn’t that mature about it (laughs). I complained to Hide-chan (laughs).

F: I couldn’t be upfront about it and apologize; all I could say was stuff like “Well, he just took it all, so…” But if I were to say what I really felt, it would’ve been, “I’m really sorry, that was terrible of me” (laughs). Chama’s friend told me that while they were together, Chama had collapsed. It turns out he hadn’t been eating anything. And he had been overworked…I realized I had to man up, I hadn’t been making music by myself.

C: That was when Hide-chan and I started to release DMs.

F: You really perfected it. Chama did the design. But you got the spelling wrong (laughs).

M: We realized that after we had made all the copies (laughs). Fujiwara was supposed to give information about the next show during MC but he forgot, because if he had time to talk he’d rather play another song.

F: We didn’t even ask anyone to come (laughs). We figured if they wanted to they would (laughs).

C: I can’t get over the kinds of things we used to say. “You guys are just standing around, but we’re having fun!” (laughs)

F: “We’re having 100 times more fun than you ever will your entire life!” (laughs)

C: “Whether or not you come is up to you, but I think you should come.”

F: “In terms of loss and gain, it’s your loss” (laughs). In Tokyo there were a lot of people who seemed to be sizing us up. I mean, it’s necessary for a band’s growth, but…they would watch with their arms folded. And then I wasted 30 minutes lecturing them on their attitude (laughs).

C: While you were talking we got tired so we sat down (laughs). Even so, we continued on like that and people kept coming. Eventually we were able to get 3,000 yen per person.

M: That was after taking out fees for the studio and DMs.

F: I still remember how the Yoshinoya beef bowl I bought with my first cut tasted (laughs). I was surprised. This is the money I got from singing on stage. Masu controlled the money. He also managed the DM addresses and everything. I never worked on the DMs. Once, though, Masu called me over to help since there were too many and he couldn’t do it by himself. I was surprised at how many there were. Each envelope had an address on it. Masu had studied up and done all of it. Folded up inside the envelopes were Chama’s – well, they had mistakes (laughs), but Chama’s designs were inside. I thought it was really cool.

C: How many did we send in the end? A thousand, I think…We had a kind of division of labor. Fujiwara did what he could. They’re the same as now, Bump of Chicken’s gears…But it was fun. We did it cause we wanted to.

M: When we sent out the DMs people would actually come.

C: That was awesome.

M: If it didn’t play out that way we would never have been able to continue.

C: Around that time we made a tape with three songs on it.

F: We did, we did. Even though we weren’t under contract with that production company, they did it for us out of kindness.

C: Because our DMs were going to exceed 1000, someone from that company told us that if we were moving up in scale we should have some sort of management to help us.

F: That happened at the same time we talked about the showcase live. The world was scary; even though we never signed a thing we could’ve been made someone else’s property. Right after that chilling experience we discussed management like Chama said. We also were in that musical.

M: In the beginning of ’98.

F: It was called The Running Girl. I was asked to write the music, so I did the opening and the characters’ themes. The director really appreciated it and asked us to be in the play. But we couldn’t appear as Bump of Chicken so we took on regular parts. I played Akihito (laughs).

C: We were pretty stoic throughout it all (laughs), I mean we took it seriously.

F: We tried to take it more seriously than the other actors. We had to teach others because we were in charge of the music. We lectured the older girls. “Do you really want to do this?! Just quit!” (laughs). I couldn’t believe they didn’t memorize the lyrics. I wasn’t ever mad if they weren’t good at singing, but at least memorize the lyrics! But hey, I messed up too (laughs).

C: We talked things over with the director and producer. Like about suggestions for the development.

F: In the questionnaire for the play the band got a lot of favorable reviews. It was a victory. The people from the production company came to see us; there were two performances and they came to the evening one. They invited us to dinner after it ended, even though we were all banged up and completely worn out. I strained my back (laughs). They complemented our performance and told us that seeing Bump in that kind of setting was refreshing. Then they went on to say that they had an earnest proposal. If you looked closely you could tell they were kind of tense. They asked us to work with them. It felt like they were confessing their love. “We’re confident you trust us, but we don’t want your reply quite yet. Take some time to think about it after the production party, and consult your parents too.” I felt again how fortunate we were to have met such good people.

C: Yeah. There were many people shelling out money for us, and thanks to them we could live more comfortably…Working a job was so soul-crushing I could’ve died. On top of that, we were having trouble taking care of everything ourselves. Even so, we genuinely valued other people. Those guys from the production company, we never saw them as a source of funds, we only had a human relationship.

F: At some point we did realize they were spending money on us. It was a while before I knew.

C: The four of us were completely charmed by the two of them. We felt that this discussion was unnecessary; after all, I remember Fuji-kun asking them, “Aren’t we already in this together?” I thought the same thing. It was mutual love.

F: So we signed a contract with the company…Back then, it was fun, so we didn’t really care. But we were serious about it. About the fun and about our work.

C: What else…Each of us was also developing individually. Separately. Each of you three motivated me in different ways. I mean, I thought it was really impressive when Fujiwara used his own music in the musical, but also raised the level by taking other ideas and sculpting them into shape. Hide-chan kept his promise and never skipped class even once. Hiro…was just waiting to take the entrance exams again (laughs). It’s not like I was only motivated by the good things. Apart from motivation, there was no good or bad…At any rate, I was living surrounded by all these incentives.

F: Before FLAME VEIN we released a limited edition, 500 copies only CD. It had Arue, Knife, and Little Braver; only three songs.

M: It was the first time we had a CD made, so we were pretty happy.

F: Yeah. FLAME VEIN was…um…ah, it was winter. At Bazooka Studio. Was it in Nakano?

C: Oh I remember. We mooned Fujiwara while he was trying to record the vocals (laughs).

F: The recording itself took two days. The third day was for TD. We already had all the songs; the only new one was No Hit No Run.

C: We didn’t practice hardly at all…Thinking back now that was amazing.

F: When I looked at what we had created, sitting in its plastic case, I could barely believe it. FLAME VEIN was a really good title. While performing, my veins would pop out. Like in my hands or neck. Maybe I pushed myself too hard. That kind of feeling was what prompted the title FLAME VEIN. It was emotional…At that time we had hopes for the trajectory of our musical activities. We had confidence from the very beginning (laughs).

C: We thought we were the very best in the entire world.

F: We held shows together with some other bands, but we thought there was no one on the same plane as us.

C: They were good, but we didn’t get goosebumps from listening.

F: The only ones making real music was us. There wasn’t anyone else who valued music in the same way. They were only good at mimicking what other influential rock and punk groups had already done. We knew we sucked, though (laughs). So there was that dilemma.

C: Our listeners’ reactions were extraordinary. When we stood on stage, people who didn’t know us stood in union. I understood that their eyes were different. It was clear to me.

F: There were also people who came to appraise us, and I lectured them (laughs). If you don’t like what you see, get out! They didn’t want to leave and continued to judge us. It’s give and take! Show us some emotion too!

C: Fujiwara, when you had a guitar solo, you wouldn’t play, you would just put your foot on the monitor and raise your fist in the air (laughs).

F: The first time I faced myself was on stage. When I wasn’t on stage, I was undoubtedly going about life as myself, but on stage, all eyes were on me, whether good or bad…I had a value assigned to me and was assessed…Is he worthy of living? It couldn’t be helped that I acted self-important in reaction to it. It wasn’t a complete change, it was a strip show, you know? It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing clothes, it’s a problem of the heart.

C: The only reason we had confidence was because we liked our own band. I think I listened to primarily our own music back then. I listened to that three song CD. It was better than anything else. What set us apart from other bands was that we instinctually had confidence and a sense of responsibility regarding our own music. It wasn’t only emotions. We had no skill at all. I truly could not play bass. Even though I play it (laughs). Actually, I don’t. I only hit the strings.

F: The quality was extremely awful. But people kept coming. We didn’t depend on that…To the point where saying we sold fights isn’t an exaggeration.

C: When we played Kudaranai Uta fans would take out dandelions…

F: There were people who brought them.

C: We’d stop and tell them, “You bastards better cut it out!” There were people who screamed, and people who took pictures; we told them to shove it. Also, if they started clapping in time with the music we’d stop.

F: “This isn’t a school festival!”

C: We were always flipping out. Fans would tell me to do my best. “Who do you think you are?” “Do your best!”

F: That happened all the time (laughs). Also, “You guys say we’re cool, that you want to marry us, but what’ll happen when we go bald?!” (laughs)

M: It got really quiet (laughs).

F: They really would ditch us if we went bald (laughs).

C: But when I stepped off stage, I could never say that kind of thing. If I encountered a shady-looking person, I’d avert my eyes and walk away quickly (laughs), that’s the kind of person I was. But on stage it was different. I thought of the stage as the only place I could show my true self. At my job in the convenience store I put on my customer service face. When I hung out with friends, I put on my hanging-out-with-friends face. I’m able to see it differently now, but that’s how I was. I felt that my true self was the one that stood on stage. I could say anything. I was indestructible.

F: There were times when they’d tell us we were being horrible.

C: “You’re terrible, Fuji-kun,” they said (laughs). “Huh? Then let’s do the next song!” you said, and then you would play something (laughs).

F: I only knew how to convey my feelings through music (laughs). I would point at the fans and ask, “Do you get it?” “Yeah, yeah, I think so,” they’d say (laughs). On the way home I’d feel awfully depressed (laughs).

C: It was a mistake, but the ones who brought real music to Shimokitazawa was us (laughs), or at least that’s what I thought. I was aware that we were the only ones who really conveyed things with their music. There were c countless number of people who were in rock groups, and Shimokitazawa had always been a music district, but there weren’t any real songs. It was a rock-culture town. The culture isn’t bad, in fact I think it’s great. But we made it into a song town. We released FLAME VEIN. I swung my arms wide when I walked around in Shimokitazawa. I thought it was my town.

F: I was harboring some anger. I was usually referred to as a guy from a guitar rock band. I remember being angry at that. “Whaddaya mean, guitar rock?” I thought that it was just by chance that our songs were played with a guitar; even if I used some other instrument, the song would still have the same brilliance. I really hated the term ‘guitar rock.’

C: The four of us made music and knew what kind of messages we wanted to convey; we had no interest in anything beyond that. I really liked shoegaze, and I listened to techno a lot, but I really had no interest in anything but our music. And then, Fujiwara got really angry.

F: I was super angry that people would tell me things like that the lyrics card was cute. I drew so much for that card I thought I would go crazy. I liked drawing in that scribbling style, and it happened to be popular at the time, so I drew it because I thought it would receive praise (laughs). I suffered the consequences. In reaction to that, I made the next card entirely with a word processor…I was mad at myself. I thought I was a coward.

C: I was completely lost as to why Fujiwara was angry, even though he tried to explain it to me. From the beginning we had been making things with our own hands, like the DMs, so I had no interest in anything that didn’t involve our own blood, sweat, and tears. I was definitely ok with it when Fujiwara said he wanted to make the lyrics card himself. It turned out great too. The letters were so small I couldn’t read them (laughs), and there were illustrations. He didn’t have any white-out, so (laughs) if he messed up he cut out the bad part and pasted a new piece of paper over it, and drew on that (laughs).

F: Hahahaha! Analog.

C: All of that was music to me, and I thought it was wonderful. From then on Fujiwara kept on getting angrier.

F: I mean it was my own fault. That was the frustrating part. I wondered if the lyrics to Glass no Blues had an effect; if the cat could be understood just by its appearance…If I’m to spoil it, that cat – see, in elementary school and junior high, if I brought home a good report card my mother would draw that cat and write ‘you did well’ on it in red pen. The motif is that cat. It had a lot of meaning to me. Because it was drawn when I was being recognized for my work. I wanted that cat to sing. I created a story for it inside my head, but I was worried it would strangle the song. And I was angry at myself…When I went to Shimokitazawa people would call out to me. People who had picked our CD over many others, who skillfully recognized my face even though we weren’t in magazines or anything. It made me happy. But then they told me how much they liked the handwritten lyrics card, and it pissed me off (laughs). I couldn’t do anything about it. I never wanted to do artwork like that again. I can look at the situation calmly now, but at the time, that’s what I thought.

M: When FLAME VEIN came out I thought we would sell loads. I honestly thought we might rank on the Orican charts (laughs). I had confidence that we created something great, and if that didn’t sell, then what would? I didn’t understand why it didn’t sell well (laughs). When I went out everyone recognized me. It’s embarrassing (laughs).

H: I thought the same thing. I was happy that it had even taken shape, though. I went to the store and when I found it, I moved it to a spot where it would stand out (laughs).

F: I did that too.

C: Me too!

F: Honestly, I was a braggart. Even though we only released one CD. Even though they bought tickets, there was a line; even though they bought tapes and CDs, there was a line, and we started getting some surplus. I realized that it was dangerous. My attitude, I mean. I think everyone felt the same. I had to knock some sense into myself. My flippant attitude could go fuck itself! That artwork, our music, I wanted to value it and set us back on track.

C: At first, standing on stage and making myself known, making Bump known, was all it was for me. But throughout all of that, I wasn’t thinking at all, it was Fujiwara who was thinking about the details. He taught me, whether it was about the lyrics cards or our attitude towards our fans. Even if he didn’t say anything, it reached me. Like…it’s interesting. I was motivated by all of you. That never changed, though, and I still am (laughs).

Date: 2016-04-22; view: 821