E. Find 1 mistake in each of the jokes and correct it.

1. “Tommy, the canary has disappeared..”

“That’s funny. It was there just now when I tried to clean it with the vacuum cleaner.”

2. “Oh, mother, a truck went by twice as big as a house!”

“Bobbie, why do you exaggerate so terribly? I’ve told you twenty million times about that habit of yours, ant this doesn’t do a bit of good!”

3. “And how did Jimmy his history examination?”

“Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn’t his fault. Why, they asked him things that had happened before the poor boy was born!”

4. “What animal is satisfied with the least nourishment?”

“The moth, teacher. It eats nothing but holes.”

5. “Is your wife as pretty as ever?”

“Yes, indeed! Only it takes her _ half an hour longer.”

6. “I don’t know what to do with my son, he is so unreliable!”

“Get him a job in the meteorological department.”

7. “Is your wife economical?”

“Sometimes. She had only twenty-six candles on her fortieth birthday cake last night.”

8. “Herbert, is it possible that you are teaching the parrot to use slang?”

“No, mum. I was just telling him what not to say.”

9. Why were you kept in at school?”

“I didn’t know where the Azores were.”

“Well, in the future just remember where you put things.”

10. “Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?”

“Every time I come to the corner a sign says, “School – Go slow.”

F. Focus on phrasal verbs. Fill in the gaps with the correct form of the phrasal verbs below:

a) turn off / pull over / pull up / fill up / pump up

I was driving my car the other day when I realised that it wasn't handling very well - the car didn't seem to respond well when I turned left or right. So, I found a quiet road and pulled up. I checked the tyres and discovered that one of them was a little flat, so I got back in the car and drove to the nearest garage. When I pulled over the attendant was waiting, so I turned off the engine and asked him to pump up the tyre that was a little flat and check the other ones. I also asked him to fill up the tank with petrol because I was running low. Five minutes later I was on my way again. I wish it were that easy to fix computer problems!

b) look after / dress up / tell off / bring up / grow up

The other day I was chatting to a friend about children. My friend has 2 teenage children whereas I have 1 child - a 10-month-old girl. We were discussing the fact that we had both been brought up by rather strict parents, and had both decided to try to be more tolerant when we grow up and had children of our own. The problem that he had found with this strategy was in finding a way to control his kids now that they were teenagers. He said that the fact that he had been looking after them for more than 13 years, and provided them with all the love and money that he had, was not enough to persuade his children to respect his decisions - especially if the decision was to not spend a month's wages on the latest fashionable outfit, or not to allow them to go to an all-night party in another city. I thought about this and hit upon an idea. I told him how I would try to deal with the problem with my daughter; I would dress her up in the frilliest and silliest clothes I could find (as most parents seem to do, anyway) and take a photo. Then, when she became a teenager and wanted to do all of those unreasonable things that teenagers want to do, I could threaten to show the photo to her friends - or, even worse, her boyfriend! My friend liked the idea and said "Wow! I think I have some photos like that of my kids". As he dashed out of the room to look for his family photo albums he continued "Thanks! I might never have to tell them off again!"

Date: 2016-03-03; view: 1191