Nursery Rhyme Lawyer Lyrics

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't get him a (1)………………..

But I could

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch themselves a pail of water
They fell down and we (2)………… everyone
Including the hill owner's daughter

If you are a nursery rhyme
And you're in trouble all the time
Wanna put your wife in a pumpkin rhine?
I can give you peace of mind

'Cause my service is one of a kind
I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet
And then that spider came out to play
We served that arachnid with a (3)…………….. order
Now he must be at least two hundred yards away

Blackbirds baked in your pie?
Boy kissed you and made you cry?
Your cow jumpin' into the sky?
Crazy, thinkin' he could fly

Give my services a try
And see what a good boy am I

My ex-husband, that crooked old man, ran off with that floozy gardner, Mistress Mary, and left me with these twenty kids living in a shoe. I didn't have any idea what to do. So, I called up the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer. In just one week, he had found that miserable scum-bag of a man and had him paying (4)…… ………... Huh! He can keep those cockle shells, I got the money. We live in a boot now, and I have a summer sandle on the lake. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer!

When your cupboard is bare
I'm gonna be there
Dish ran away with your spoon
I'll get it back soon

If you've lost your sheep
There's no need to weep
Someone's (5)………….. your tarts
Don't let it break your heart

If your bridge is fallin' down
I'm gonna be around
When the bough breaks
I've got what it takes

You know who I am
I'm the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer

You know, I make my living jumping over candlesticks because I'm very nimble and quick. But, uh, one day I slipped on a puddle of wax and I got burned pretty badly. I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and he was able to get me workman's (6)…………. in no time flat. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer!

My little lamb followed me to school one day. Those mean boys and girls just laughed and laughed at him all day long. So I called the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer and we filed (7)…………….. of character suits against them and I haven't heard so much as a peep from them since. Thank you Nursery Rhyme Lawyer!

I got pushed off a wall and the Nursery Rhyme Lawyer got me $1.2 million. You know the story. Man, my brains is scrambled . . .

1.4. Reading 4. Hire an Employee in Ukraine

Key vocabulary:personnel; applicant; the UkrainianLabor Code; labor agreement; pivotal contract; enterprises; comply with the provisions; social security benefits; exceptions envisaged; residence permit; job permit; labor regulations; assumes; labor contract; the period of validity thereof; the parties thereto; financial provision; prior to expiry; termination; subject to the requirements of; be executed in writing;

relevant provisions; civil law contracts; to be afforded discretionary powers to; to agree upon; remuneration; rigid requirements; religious affiliation; unjustified denial; labour book; probationary period; frequent indexation; staff redundancy; prior consent.

Read the following text and answer the questions after it.

Highly qualified human resources ensure the success of any busi­ness. Each undertaking begins with the selection of personnel. A job applicant often turns into an employee very quickly, and it may seem that this is a mere formality. However, it is a cru­cial stage that predetermines numerous future nuances. The terms, rights, and responsibilities of an individual becom­ing an employee of a company determine the future forms and conditions of coop­eration between the employer and the employee. In Ukraine, forms, conditions, scope and terms of cooperation, rights and duties of the parties to labor relations are subject to labor legislation.

The Ukrainian Code of Acts on Labor(UCAL,in Russian ­KZoT,hereinafter the UkrainianLabor Code) holds the key place in the system of labor legislation.

This very code outlines relations between employees and employers. It establishes the fundamental principles of cooperation between employees and employers, determines the scope of rights and responsibilities of the parties, provides definitions of basic notions and categories of labor relations.

Among other things, the UkrainianLabor Codesets require­ments for the labor agreement, which is the pivotal contract between employees and employers that is concluded when a person is hired.

Having set only the key conditions for the conclusion and contents of a labor agreement, the code leaves vast room for improvement on the terms for mutual work.

The Labour Code applies to all Ukrainian and foreign enterprises, institutions, and organizations, irrespective of their ownership form, types, or area of activity, and to all individuals employing labour in Ukraine.

Article 3 of the Labour Code provides that employment relationship between enterprises with foreign investment and their employees on the territory of Ukraine are governed by the applicable Ukrainian legislation. Thus, all employers, both foreign and Ukrainian, must comply with the provisions of the Labour Code, which apply regardless of whether the employee is a foreign or a Ukrainian national. The employment guarantees and the social security benefits granted to employees of foreign companies, or of Ukrainian companies with foreign investments, are the same as those granted to employees of other Ukrainian companies.

Date: 2016-01-14; view: 955