Jealousy between brothers and sisters is very often unavoidable, especially when a new baby is born into the family.

A teenage boy of religious parents dropped out and adopted a 'hippie' lifestyle because he believed his parents preferred his younger sister.

According to research, the arrival of a new baby causes most trouble in families where the mother is particularly close to an elder daughter. But where the child has a close relationship with the father, there is usually far less conflict after the new birth. Temperament, too, is important. Children who are irritable or difficult to react most strongly to the birth of a sibling.

What families forget is that not only is sibling rivalry normal, it can also have a positive side. It is important to remember Freud's view that if you cannot hate you cannot love. In most families, sibling rivalry and sibling affection are two sides of the same coin. A mother of two boys aged sixteen and ten has this experience: 'My kids will be at each other's throats, complaining to me about what the other has done or has got. Yet if someone is unpleasant to one, or if either hurts himself, nobody could be more caring or concerned than the other.'

PARENTS AND CHILDREN
An ideal family?

EXERCISE 1.

Lead-in

1) How much freedom do you think parents should give their children? What dangers are there in being too strict or too tolerant?

At what age should young people be treated as adults?

2) Try the questionnaire below from a parent's guide-book to discover what kind of parent you are or would be.

EXERCISE 2.WHAT ARE DADS FOR?

Did you like it in your childhood? Why? Did you spend much time with your parents?
What was father’s part in your upbringing? Is a father's role in the family as important as mother's?

1) Match these sentences with the drawings.

1 Dads grow big hands to spank people.

2 I always feel safe with Dad.

3 My daddy is lazy because he always sits on his bottom.

4 Dads are never working unless they are forced to by mums.

5 Fathers are people who will fight with you but not hurt you.

2) Read this passage. What sort of father does Beverley have?

What are dads for?

In the home a dad is very important. He is the person who provides us with money to feed and clothe ourselves. He can decorate your bedroom, mend your radio, make cages for your pets, repair a puncture in your bicycle tyre and help you with your maths homework. A dad can be very useful for taking you in the car to and from parties, music lessons, and
dancing lessons. A dad is the person whom you ask for pocket money. He is the one who complains about the time you spend talking on the telephone, as he has to pay the bills. Dad is someone who will support you in an argument, if he believes you to be right. He is someone who reads your school report, and treats you if it is good. A dad likes to come into a nice happy home in the evening, and settle back in his chair with a newspaper. He likes to recall his National Service days ...

(Beverley, Age 13)

3) Which of the things in the passage did your dad do when you were a child?

4) In your opinion, what are the roles of a father or a mother? Make a list of the thing

they should do. Do you think these roles should be different?

5) Which quotation do you like best? Which quotations are about:

— appearance?

— discipline?

— drinking?

— pocket money?

— what dads are for?

— what dads are like?

6) Read this passage about the role of the father. Write down three things:

— a modern father does.

— a traditional father does.

The modern father looks after his children and helps in the house, even if his wife does not go out to work. The division between the roles of the mother and the father is no longer very clear, and dad does his share of child care: he con change the baby, dress the children or make the dinner. This new image of the father is, of course, completely different from the still
dominant, traditional dad, who represents authority, is the head of the household and
makes all the 'important' decisions. His wife is responsible for the domestic side of family life while he is the one who advises or punishes as necessary.

Date: 2015-12-24; view: 1492