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VOICE ON TELEVISION
To be or not to be...
BRIDGET
What's this?
NICK
Hamlet - a tragedy.
ANNIE
What's it about?
NICK
Love. Madness. And murder.
Hamlet's father, the king, is killed by Hamlet's uncle, who then marries Hamlet's mother, so Hamlet kills his uncle and his mother and then he dies.
BRIDGET
That sounds like my family.
NICK
It's a masterpiece. I'd be great as Hamlet.
BRIDGET
Oh! My tights!
NICK
Oh, Bridget, I had an accident.
BRIDGET
Buy me another pair or you will have an accident!
ANNIE
Accident or murder?!
NICK
OK, Bridget.
BRIDGET
Right, I'm off.
ANNIE
Me too.
HECTOR
Goodnight, sugar-plum.
ANNIE
Night, snuggly-puppykins.
HECTOR
Oh, Nick, I am worried.
NICK
Hector, I know what you mean. When women talk like that, it is time to move on.
HECTOR
No, not Annie.
This television reporter's job. I don't really think I can do it.
NICK
Hector, of course you can. What you need is...
HECTOR
Talent?
NICK
No! You don't need talent. You need Nick's School for Television Reporters.
HECTOR
Nick's School for Television Reporters?
NICK
Yeah! I will teach you to be a television reporter.
HECTOR
OK!
NICK
OK.
Rule number one: imagine you are talking to a beautiful woman.
"Good evening, this is Nick Jessop, reporting from the Houses of Parliament just for you."
Rule number two: be mysterious.
"I am here to tell you the Houses of Parliament may look normal, but all is not as it seems."
Rule number three: make them trust you.
"I can reveal that this building is actually an alien space station. Trust me. Trust Nick Jessop. I will always tell you the truth. See you later. Goodnight and sleep tight." Do it like that, Hector, and you will get the job.
HECTOR
"Hi, this is Hector Romero."
BRIDGET [Composing email]
‘Chrissy, we need a new TV reporter at Channel Nine and I think Hector will be perfect.’
HECTOR
Well, if you think so.
BRIDGET [Composing email]
‘Of course, I will train him.
My new boss will be very impressed.’
HECTOR
OK, Bridget.
BRIDGET [Composing email]
‘And this morning, I found Nick wearing my Versace tights.’
NICK
Oh, these tights!
BRIDGET [Composing email]
He's a strange boy.
NICK [Composing email]
‘Guess what, Dan! I've discovered Shakespeare. "To die, to sleep ..."
I love it!
And I taught Hector how to be a television reporter.
NICK
Nick’s School for Television Reporters!
NICK [Composing email]
I'm sure he'll get the job!
BRIDGET
Did you get my fax? Well, did you get my email? What did Sting say? Will he do the interview?
You won't even ask him? He's never heard of Channel Nine? Oh, please. Please! Please!
Well can I meet him? I can? Where is he? At the airport? I'll be there. Yes!
Sound of knocking on door
WOMAN
Hector Romero for you, Bridget.
BRIDGET
No.
Hector, I forgot your audition. Listen, I must go out for one hour. Sting wants to see me!
Don't worry. Just remember everything I've told you. Here's the script, there's the camera. Must dash! Be back in an hour!
HECTOR
But.., I...
"Hello, this is Hector Romero for Channel Nine."
BRIDGET
What a day!
First Sting had already departed for New York and now this! This! From you, Hector!
HECTOR
Sorry, Bridget.
BRIDGET
Was this Nick's idea?
HECTOR
Erm...
BRIDGET
I thought so.
HECTOR
So, have I got the job?
BRIDGET
What do you think?
Goodbye, Hector. And the new editor will be here soon.
Right! Nick!
Date: 2015-12-24; view: 891
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