A Horrible Accident

Helen: Hello, Ellen.

Ellen:Hello, Helen. Have you heard? There’s been a horrible accident.

Helen:Oh dear! What’s happened?

Ellen:Hilda Higgins’ husband has had an accident on his horse.

Helen:How awful! Is he injured?

Ellen:Yes. An ambulance has taken him to the hospital

Helen:How did it happen?

Ellen:He was hit by an express train. It was on the crossing just behind his house.

Helen:How horrible!

Ellen:He’s having an important operation in hospital now. Poor Hilda! She’s so unhappy.

Helen:Perhaps he’ll be all right.

Ellen:I hope so.

GOSSIPS

Judith:Edith Smith is only thirty.

Ethel:Is she? I thought she was thirty-three.

Judith:Edith’s birthday was last Thursday.

Ethel:Was it? I thought it was last month.

Judith: The Smiths’ house is worth thirty thousand pounds.

Ethel:Is it? I thought it was worth three thousand.

Judith:Mr Smith is the author of a book about moths.

Ethel:Is he? I thought he was a mathematician.

Judith:I’m so thirsty.

Ethel:Are you? I thought you drank something at the Smiths’.

Judith:No, Edith gave me nothing to drink.

Ethel:Shall I buy you a drink?

Judith:Thank you.

A Hat in the Window

A:I want to buy a hat in the window.

B: There are three hats together in the window, madam. Do you want the one with the feathers?

A:No, the other one.

B:The small one for three pounds?

A:No. Not that one either. That one over there. The leather one.

B:Ah! The leather one. Now this is another leather hat, madam. It’s better than the one in the window. It’s a smoother leather.

A:I’d rather have the one in the window. It goes with my clothes.

B: Certainly, madam. But we don’t take anything out of the window until three o’clock on Thursday.

At an Accomodation Agency

- Good morning. I want an apartment in central London.

- Certainly, sir. How much rent did you want to pay?

- No more than $27 a month.

- $27 a month? We don’t often have apartments as inexpensive as that. We have one apartment for $29 a month in Northern Avenue. It’s down near the station.

- Is it furnished?

- No, it’s unfurnished. The kitchen has no oven. It’s forbidden to use the garden. No friends in the apartment after 11 in the evening. No noise and no television after 11.15. No…

- No thank you! I want an apartment, not a prison!

NOISY NEIGHBOURS

- Bang! Bang! Bang! What are the Kings doing at 7 o’clock on Sunday morning?

- Well, Mr King is singing.

- Yes, but what’s the banging noise?

- He’s standing on a ladder and banging some nails into the wall with a hammer. Now he’s hanging some strong string on the nails.

- And what’s Mrs King doing?

- She’s bringing something pink for Mr King to drink. Now she’s putting it under the ladder and…Ohh!

- What’s happening?

- The ladder’s falling.

- What’s Mr King doing?

- He’s hanging from the string. He’s holding the string in his fingers and he’s shouting to Mrs King.

- And is she helping him?

- No. She’s running to our house. Now she’s ringing the bell.

- I’m not going to answer. I’m sleeping.

EARLY for LUNCH

- Hello, Lily. You’re looking lovely today.

- Hello, Mr Alien. You’re early for lunch. It’s only 7 o’clock.

- When I come later there’s usually nothing left.

- What would you like?

- Leg of lamb, please.

- And would you like a plate of salad? It’s lettuce with black olives.

- Marvellous! I love olives.

- And would you like a glass of lemonade?

- Yes, please, Lily. And a slice of melon and some yellow jelly.

A Proud Parent

- Are all the children grown up now, Puth?

- Oh yes. Laura is the cleverest one. She’s a librarian in the public library.

-Very interesting. And what about Rita?

-She’s a secretary at the railway station.

- And what about Rosemary? She was always a very pretty child.

- Rosemary is a waitress in a restaurant in Paris. She’s married to an electrician.

- And what about Jerry and Roland?

- Jerry drives a lorry. He drives everywhere in Europe.

- Really? Which countries does he drive to?

- France and Austria and Greece and Russia.

- And does Roland drive a lorry too?

- Oh, no. Roland is a pilot.

- Really? Which countries does he fly to?

- Australia and America.

Date: 2015-12-18; view: 2520