War Between the Flesh and the Spirit

It was so frustrating! All this wonderful knowledge about my Beloved, and yet how easily could I be lured by the tempter through various means. The tempter had taken advantage of my childhood and youth and stamped into my soul the love of ease, entertainment and appetite. He had trained me in the spirit of self-reliance through my community, education and love of competitive sport.

As my Beloved began to show me more of Himself and I fell more deeply in love with Him, my former lover tried to hold the ground he still had within me and tried to take back from my Beloved that which he had lost. Even though I loved Jesus dearly, I was unaware of how much of my carnal nature still claimed the supremacy. The worst part of the fallen nature is the well calculated trait of using logic combined with falsehood to conceal real motive and desire.

Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults. Psalm 19:12.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (10) I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings. Jeremiah 17:9-10.

During my time of feasting on the Word in the Holy Place, I came face to face with several temptations from my former life. At times I felt strongly attracted to watching various forms of entertainment on television. Many times I gave in and watched, but within a short period

would find no satisfaction at all. I felt trapped and did not understand why. I had prayed for victory, but the desires would return. In my younger years I was motivated to appear righteous as were many in my peer group. This allowed me to appear to have victory over several temptations, but it was an illusion and the tempter knew it.

Many victories in my life were so hard to obtain. I stood before the Most Holy Place wishing to enter, but something was blocking my path and I did not understand what it was. My study of Daniel and Revelation convicted me that the work of intercession would soon cease, and only those who had made their garments white in the righteousness of Jesus would enter the city. I saw several of my peers yield their efforts to enter the Most Holy Place, and they taught that because of the great love of Jesus for sinners, He will forgive them and cover their sins right through until the Second Coming. The teaching concerning victory over sin became one of Christian maturity, as the law of God was no longer seen as possible to be fully kept.

What I read in Scripture contradicted what many of my peers were saying, yet my experience seemed to indicate that they were right. How could I profess to believe in victory over sin when I had such an inconsistent experience? What right did I have to offer hope of victory in the life when I myself was not able to experience it?

When I would fall to temptation, I knew that our Father loved me and that through Christ I obtained forgiveness, but I wanted to walk with my Saviour at all times and not wound Him with my careless words and thoughtless actions that were often selfish. Yes, God forgives us, but sin still causes pain in our relationships. The Bible promised me that I could stop hurting those around me, and yet how often I failed.

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, Jude 24.

Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin; 1 Peter 4:1.

Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. (7) Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. 1 John 3:6-7.

Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 1 John 4:17.

Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus. Revelation 14:12.

My wise and loving Saviour let me experience the natural consequences of the false understanding of Him to which I still clung. These periods of conflict, temptation and idolatry intensified my search for the missing pieces. Each time I knelt before my Father and pled with Him for wisdom and understanding through Jesus, the closer I was brought to the light.

One could imagine that my knowledge of Jesus as the Saviour for the sins of the world would have been enough and that I should not have worried about other things. The point is that temptation still came every day, and expressions of carnal nature were still hurting people. The fact was that my knowledge of Jesus was still confused. The voice of my Beloved and the voice of the tempter were still converging in my mind in certain places.

In my efforts to worship and uplift my Saviour, I unwittingly included in this worship aspects that were not revealed in Scripture. I unwittingly perceived Christ in a highly self-reliant context. These extra things came from my spiritual forefathers and also held a natural resonance with me. The taste of self-reliance with which I had fallen in love as a child and had been fostered by the tempter had become embedded in the heart of the person of Jesus whom I claimed to worship.

My only knowledge of Jesus had come to me through what I had been taught as a child by my family and my church. I was taught that Jesus is God, and the Father is God, and the Spirit is God. I was taught they were all divine and therefore equal. My context for this equality seemed to naturally be that of self-reliance stemming from inherent power, ability, and knowledge. I therefore never questioned how Father, Son and Spirit were equal. I just assumed this meant they all had the same power and position. This is what equal means in the world, and so I thought this to be the case with God. It never dawned on me that if God was three persons that were all equal in power then the meanings of the words themselves would change. The words Father and Son particularly would cease to mean what

they said. If Father and Son were equal in power, age and position then it would be impossible for the second person to come from the first person because that would make the second person dependent or subordinate to the first.

The lie of the serpent to Eve stated that we are self-reliant beings; it is stamped into our very nature and is passed from generation to generation. The voice of the tempter groomed this spirit of self- reliance within me through my family, education and community experiences. When the person of Jesus was presented to me as one who is self-reliant and yet demonstrates submission and obedience for our benefit only, I fell for it. My perception of the Divine as the most powerful, most majestic, and most self-reliant being fitted perfectly with this doctrine of the Trinity that presented three powerful beings as a unity of one corporate divine family.

I could not see that through a cleverly laid plot, the real God and His Son had been merged with a false god that appealed to my carnal nature. At times I would focus on the Father and Son relationship and be drawn towards them. Then I would fall back onto the aspects of power and self-reliance, and this would drive me to be exactly the same.

This spirit of self-reliance struck a chord with many sports and movies. When I would watch an Olympic champion reveal his prowess, skill and agility to win a gold medal, I was drawn to this because part of the god I worshipped revealed power, prowess and ability in a display of self-reliance. When I watched a team of men force their way through another wall of men to place a ball on the line, I felt the power and applauded the display. It touched perfectly a chord in my flesh. Yet this spirit was at war with the meek and lowly Jesus who did always those things that pleased His Father. He did nothing of Himself but trusted all things into His Father’s hands. This spirit was not natural for me, but through my encounters with my Beloved, I started to taste of this Spirit and so desired it also. This caused a tremendous conflict in me.

For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. Galatians 5:17.

O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? (25) I thank God through Jesus Christ

our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of

God; but with the flesh the law of sin. Romans 7:24-25.

The war in my heart was between two different understandings of Christ whom I loved. My childhood love was essentially a projection of myself as a self-reliant, powerful person who won the admiration and respect of those around me. The second person was the meek and lowly Jesus who loved His Father and trusted all that He possessed came from Him. Without any consideration of His skills, talents or abilities, this Saviour was blessed and loved by the Father simply because He had come from Him.

I was locked in this struggle between these two views of Christ because the carefully expressed formula of the Trinity had made it very hard for me to tell them apart. There were a number of cultural elements that added to my difficulty of discerning the difference. It is to these issues we turn next.

Date: 2015-12-18; view: 779