Opportunity makes a thief

Another Bungled Chimney Burglar Story

A burglar who got stuck in a chimney while trying to break in to a Los Angeles home has been jailed for two years. Bungling burglar Marco Antonio Espinoza was also ordered to pay the owners of the house more than £5,000 [$9,993.20 USD] to repair the damage done when fire fighters freed him.When he was caught, he told the police that he was doing building work on the house. A 'would be' robber had to drop his bank looting plans after he forgot to take with him a bag into which the stolen money could be put. Apparently, the young man in his 20's, entered a local Chase Bank branch early on Monday morning and passed the cashier a piece of cardboard on which was written 'Give me your money,' reported the Detroit News. He told the bank teller to 'hurry up,' but when she asked him if he had a bag to put the money into he became flustered and confused and ran off without the cash.

Burglar in Slough, England

A suspected burglar put in handcuffs after his arrest, attacked a woman police officer and then escaped by driving off in her car. The female officer was driving the man to Slough police station when he forcibly took control of the car. The man, one of three arrested on suspicion of burglary, dumped the car in Keel Drive about six minutes away. The suspect is described as Asian, in his mid 20s and about 5ft 8in tall. He may still be wearing handcuffs.A police spokesperson said, 'This is a serious incident which could have led to the officer and members of the public being seriously hurt. Thankfully, neither was injured, 'I would appeal to anyone who knows the whereabouts of this bungling burglar to contact us immediately.'

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_bank.htm

Opportunity makes a thief

It is the night between Sunday and Monday. It is four minutes after one o’ clock. A man slides silently along in the shadows of the house wall and past the brass framed door of the art gallery „Sackmann & Litt“. The man is wearing a dark suit and a dark roll-neck pullover under it. In his left hand, he is carrying a small suitcase. His target seems to be the back of the house. He nimbly climbs over the large, wrought iron gate into the yard and then pulls himself up onto a cordon. A hardly perceptible grating noise gives away the use of a glass cutter. Somewhere a clock strikes once. A crack, and the night time visitor pulls a round piece of glass from the window. The rest is child’s play. No-one notices him as he glides through the gallery. He turns to the right, crosses through several rooms and reaches the so-called ‘pewter chamber', in which lots of pewter apparatus from the Middle Ages are on show. He opens the suitcase and starts to choose specific ones and pack them into the case. As the clock strikes twice, it happens: with an accidental arm movement he knocks a pewter tankard from the shelf. A loud, penetrating clattering fills the room, and to the intruder, it sounds like a canon. Without a movement he listens carefully into the night... nothing ...or maybe not? The caretaker Julius Buckner, who lives on the ground floor, heard the noise. He does not doubt at all that the noise came from the gallery. He quickly jumps into a jacket and trousers and then considers —. Should he call the police first or should he call the owner of the gallery, Mr Sackmann, who only lives two doors away. Or should he try and confront the thief? He decides on the last option.

As he reaches the Baroque hall, he catches a glimpse of the thief and he tries to leave through the window. “Stop!" he shouts and lunges towards the window. Engelbert Sackmann is woken with a shock. He goes to the phone sleepily. „Yes?" — „It’s me, Mr Sackmann, Buckner. There’s been a break-in!" — Sackmann is awake straight away. „Have you caught him?" - „No ... I am calling from the telephone box outside the gallery. The crook has cut through the telephone wire ..." — Sackmann already has one leg out of bed. „Run to the police, I’m on the way!" He throws the telephone down and has a quick look at the clock. 2 o’clock ... – ten minutes later, he arrived at the gallery, at 2.43 Julius Buckner arrives with the police. At 2.50 Engelbert Sackmann hands a list of stolen items over to the police: 19 pewter tankards, a dance group made from Dresden China, 2 paintings and a 70cm high Madonna from the 17th century. Inspector Lange shakes his head once and again. Then he say what is thinks:

„I’m sorry, but I have the impression, that not only one but two thieves have been at work here. „What do you m — m — mean?" stuttered Sackmann, while the caretaker looks at the officials with a face full of confusion. „One of you two must have seen the opportunity to round off the robbery. One man alone cannot possibly carry all of the items which are on this list...."

This is our question to all amateur detectives: Which of the two men jumped at the opportunity? The caretaker, Julius Buckner — or the gallery owner, Engelbert Sackmann?

Date: 2015-12-17; view: 948