Voila! Finally, theThe Russia House script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Michelle Pfeiffer and Sean Connery movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The Russia House. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.
Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!
The Russia House Script
( 1st man) Yekaterina Orlova. Katya?
( 2nd man) Never heard of her.
(3rd man) The patronymic's Borisovna. Katya Borisovna Orlova.
- Have a think, Barley. - Don't know a Katya.
Never screwed one, never flirted with one,
never proposed to one, never even married one.
What is she, the usual fat-arsed frump?
(1st man) She visited the British Council's audio fair in Moscow exactly a week ago.
(4th man) Audio fair?
(Barley) Cassettes. Books of the bloody future.
- ( th man) So why didn't you go? - (Barley) I can go. I can not go.
I'm my own man. But you wouldn't know anything about that.
(American man) Crap, Barley. You rented a stand, booked your hotel, your flight...
Why didn't you show up?
(Barley) I have a board. I have family shareholders.
The firm's having withdrawal pains at the bank, if it's any of your bloody business.
( 4th man) It is.
Tell me something. Do you know Niki Landau?
Excuse me. Do you know Mr Bartholomew Scott Blair?
Yeah, I know Niki. Short-arse Polish cockney sales rep. Goes at it like a rabbit.
Barley? Sure, I know Barley.
House of Abercrombie and Blair, publishers, drunk or sober.
A gent. One of the best.
I must speak to Mr Scott Blair. It is very urgent.
He's not here, darling.
But he was not here yesterday.
Mr Scott Blair never came. He's absent. AWOL. Not among those present. Sorry.
(Barley) Irritating little sod. I'm quite fond of him really.
I have an important manuscript for him. It is for Mr Blair. Only for Mr Blair.
Listen, I'm trying to make a living here. And not for Mr Blair, love him as I may.
( rd man) Might one inquire why she should ask Niki about you?
(Barley) I don't know. I don't know her.
( th man) So you know Niki, but not Katya?
Oh, now you're getting it, old boy.
- Is that Scotch over there? - Help yourself.
You must be very kind and help me.
A Russian friend of mine has written an important novel.
Its message is important for all of mankind.
In spite of glasnost, my friend's novel cannot yet be published...
in the Soviet Union.
Mr Scott Blair has undertaken to publish it... with discretion.
Don't worry. With Abercrombie and Blair,
your friend's book is virtually guaranteed to appear in total secrecy.
If you love peace, please, take this to England to Mr Scott Blair.
- It is a gift of trust. - It is better that you smile.
- Excuse me? - Smile.
This is Anglo-Soviet cultural exchange. We smile, we exchange culture.
Looking scared is something different. Got it in there, have we?
This is dangerous for you. You must believe in what you are doing.
We smile, we kiss. Formal Russian kiss.
Now we've done it. You have brought me an official farewell gift from...
October Publishing on the last day of the fair.
And I have given you "Shakespeare's" Sonnets for Careful Drivers.