Dowd Siobhan - The London Eye Mystery 37 page not cut herself against a stone, as Sonia thought, but that the blood
that stained the pavement red was from her chest.
"I've seen that before," muttered the official to Raskolnikov and
Lebeziatnikov; "that's consumption; the blood flows and chokes the
patient. I saw the same thing with a relative of my own not long ago...
nearly a pint of blood, all in a minute.... What's to be done though?
She is dying."
"This way, this way, to my room!" Sonia implored. "I live here!... See,
that house, the second from here.... Come to me, make haste," she turned
from one to the other. "Send for the doctor! Oh, dear!"
Thanks to the official's efforts, this plan was adopted, the policeman
even helping to carry Katerina Ivanovna. She was carried to Sonia's
room, almost unconscious, and laid on the bed. The blood was still
flowing, but she seemed to be coming to herself. Raskolnikov,
Lebeziatnikov, and the official accompanied Sonia into the room and were
followed by the policeman, who first drove back the crowd which followed
to the very door. Polenka came in holding Kolya and Lida, who
were trembling and weeping. Several persons came in too from the
Kapernaumovs' room; the landlord, a lame one-eyed man of strange
appearance with whiskers and hair that stood up like a brush, his
wife, a woman with an everlastingly scared expression, and several
open-mouthed children with wonder-struck faces. Among these,
Svidrigailov suddenly made his appearance. Raskolnikov looked at him
with surprise, not understanding where he had come from and not having
noticed him in the crowd. A doctor and priest wore spoken of. The
official whispered to Raskolnikov that he thought it was too late now
for the doctor, but he ordered him to be sent for. Kapernaumov ran
himself.
Meanwhile Katerina Ivanovna had regained her breath. The bleeding ceased
for a time. She looked with sick but intent and penetrating eyes at
Sonia, who stood pale and trembling, wiping the sweat from her brow with
a handkerchief. At last she asked to be raised. They sat her up on the
bed, supporting her on both sides.
"Where are the children?" she said in a faint voice. "You've brought
them, Polenka? Oh the sillies! Why did you run away.... Och!"
Once more her parched lips were covered with blood. She moved her eyes,
looking about her.
"So that's how you live, Sonia! Never once have I been in your room."
She looked at her with a face of suffering.
"We have been your ruin, Sonia. Polenka, Lida, Kolya, come here! Well,
here they are, Sonia, take them all! I hand them over to you, I've had
enough! The ball is over." (Cough!) "Lay me down, let me die in peace."
They laid her back on the pillow.
"What, the priest? I don't want him. You haven't got a rouble to spare.
I have no sins. God must forgive me without that. He knows how I have
suffered.... And if He won't forgive me, I don't care!"
She sank more and more into uneasy delirium. At times she shuddered,
turned her eyes from side to side, recognised everyone for a minute,
but at once sank into delirium again. Her breathing was hoarse and
difficult, there was a sort of rattle in her throat.
"I said to him, your excellency," she ejaculated, gasping after each
word. "That Amalia Ludwigovna, ah! Lida, Kolya, hands on your hips,
make haste! _Glissez, glissez! pas de basque!_ Tap with your heels, be a
graceful child!
"_Du hast Diamanten und Perlen_
"What next? That's the thing to sing.
"_Du hast die schonsten Augen Madchen, was willst du mehr?_
"What an idea! _Was willst du mehr?_ What things the fool invents! Ah,
yes!
"In the heat of midday in the vale of Dagestan.
"Ah, how I loved it! I loved that song to distraction, Polenka! Your
father, you know, used to sing it when we were engaged.... Oh those
days! Oh that's the thing for us to sing! How does it go? I've
forgotten. Remind me! How was it?"
She was violently excited and tried to sit up. At last, in a horribly
hoarse, broken voice, she began, shrieking and gasping at every word,
with a look of growing terror.
"In the heat of midday!... in the vale!... of Dagestan!... With lead in
my breast!..."
"Your excellency!" she wailed suddenly with a heart-rending scream and
a flood of tears, "protect the orphans! You have been their father's
guest... one may say aristocratic...." She started, regaining
consciousness, and gazed at all with a sort of terror, but at once
recognised Sonia.
"Sonia, Sonia!" she articulated softly and caressingly, as though
surprised to find her there. "Sonia darling, are you here, too?"
They lifted her up again.
"Enough! It's over! Farewell, poor thing! I am done for! I am broken!"
she cried with vindictive despair, and her head fell heavily back on the
pillow.
She sank into unconsciousness again, but this time it did not last long.
Her pale, yellow, wasted face dropped back, her mouth fell open, her leg
moved convulsively, she gave a deep, deep sigh and died.
Sonia fell upon her, flung her arms about her, and remained motionless
with her head pressed to the dead woman's wasted bosom. Polenka threw
herself at her mother's feet, kissing them and weeping violently. Though
Kolya and Lida did not understand what had happened, they had a feeling
that it was something terrible; they put their hands on each other's
little shoulders, stared straight at one another and both at once opened
their mouths and began screaming. They were both still in their fancy
dress; one in a turban, the other in the cap with the ostrich feather.
And how did "the certificate of merit" come to be on the bed beside
Katerina Ivanovna? It lay there by the pillow; Raskolnikov saw it.
He walked away to the window. Lebeziatnikov skipped up to him.
"She is dead," he said.
"Rodion Romanovitch, I must have two words with you," said Svidrigailov,
coming up to them.
Lebeziatnikov at once made room for him and delicately withdrew.
Svidrigailov drew Raskolnikov further away.
"I will undertake all the arrangements, the funeral and that. You know
it's a question of money and, as I told you, I have plenty to spare. I
will put those two little ones and Polenka into some good orphan asylum,
and I will settle fifteen hundred roubles to be paid to each on coming
of age, so that Sofya Semyonovna need have no anxiety about them. And I
will pull her out of the mud too, for she is a good girl, isn't she? So
tell Avdotya Romanovna that that is how I am spending her ten thousand."
"What is your motive for such benevolence?" asked Raskolnikov.
"Ah! you sceptical person!" laughed Svidrigailov. "I told you I had no
need of that money. Won't you admit that it's simply done from humanity?
She wasn't 'a louse,' you know" (he pointed to the corner where the
dead woman lay), "was she, like some old pawnbroker woman? Come, you'll
agree, is Luzhin to go on living, and doing wicked things or is she to
die? And if I didn't help them, Polenka would go the same way."
He said this with an air of a sort of gay winking slyness, keeping his
eyes fixed on Raskolnikov, who turned white and cold, hearing his own
phrases, spoken to Sonia. He quickly stepped back and looked wildly at
Svidrigailov.
"How do you know?" he whispered, hardly able to breathe.
"Why, I lodge here at Madame Resslich's, the other side of the wall.
Here is Kapernaumov, and there lives Madame Resslich, an old and devoted
friend of mine. I am a neighbour."
"You?"
"Yes," continued Svidrigailov, shaking with laughter. "I assure you
on my honour, dear Rodion Romanovitch, that you have interested me
enormously. I told you we should become friends, I foretold it. Well,
here we have. And you will see what an accommodating person I am. You'll
see that you can get on with me!"
PART VI
CHAPTER I
A strange period began for Raskolnikov: it was as though a fog had
fallen upon him and wrapped him in a dreary solitude from which there
was no escape. Recalling that period long after, he believed that his
mind had been clouded at times, and that it had continued so, with
intervals, till the final catastrophe. He was convinced that he had been
mistaken about many things at that time, for instance as to the date
of certain events. Anyway, when he tried later on to piece his
recollections together, he learnt a great deal about himself from what
other people told him. He had mixed up incidents and had explained
events as due to circumstances which existed only in his imagination. At
times he was a prey to agonies of morbid uneasiness, amounting sometimes
to panic. But he remembered, too, moments, hours, perhaps whole days,
of complete apathy, which came upon him as a reaction from his previous
terror and might be compared with the abnormal insensibility, sometimes
seen in the dying. He seemed to be trying in that latter stage to escape
from a full and clear understanding of his position. Certain essential
facts which required immediate consideration were particularly irksome
to him. How glad he would have been to be free from some cares, the
neglect of which would have threatened him with complete, inevitable
ruin.
He was particularly worried about Svidrigailov, he might be said to be
permanently thinking of Svidrigailov. From the time of Svidrigailov's
too menacing and unmistakable words in Sonia's room at the moment of
Katerina Ivanovna's death, the normal working of his mind seemed to
break down. But although this new fact caused him extreme uneasiness,
Raskolnikov was in no hurry for an explanation of it. At times, finding
himself in a solitary and remote part of the town, in some wretched
eating-house, sitting alone lost in thought, hardly knowing how he had
come there, he suddenly thought of Svidrigailov. He recognised
suddenly, clearly, and with dismay that he ought at once to come to an
understanding with that man and to make what terms he could. Walking
outside the city gates one day, he positively fancied that they had
fixed a meeting there, that he was waiting for Svidrigailov. Another
time he woke up before daybreak lying on the ground under some bushes
and could not at first understand how he had come there.
But during the two or three days after Katerina Ivanovna's death, he
had two or three times met Svidrigailov at Sonia's lodging, where he
had gone aimlessly for a moment. They exchanged a few words and made no
reference to the vital subject, as though they were tacitly agreed not
to speak of it for a time.
Katerina Ivanovna's body was still lying in the coffin, Svidrigailov was
busy making arrangements for the funeral. Sonia too was very busy. At
their last meeting Svidrigailov informed Raskolnikov that he had made
an arrangement, and a very satisfactory one, for Katerina Ivanovna's
children; that he had, through certain connections, succeeded in getting
hold of certain personages by whose help the three orphans could be at
once placed in very suitable institutions; that the money he had settled
on them had been of great assistance, as it is much easier to place
orphans with some property than destitute ones. He said something
too about Sonia and promised to come himself in a day or two to see
Raskolnikov, mentioning that "he would like to consult with him, that
there were things they must talk over...."
This conversation took place in the passage on the stairs. Svidrigailov
looked intently at Raskolnikov and suddenly, after a brief pause,
dropping his voice, asked: "But how is it, Rodion Romanovitch; you
don't seem yourself? You look and you listen, but you don't seem to
understand. Cheer up! We'll talk things over; I am only sorry, I've
so much to do of my own business and other people's. Ah, Rodion
Romanovitch," he added suddenly, "what all men need is fresh air, fresh
air... more than anything!"
He moved to one side to make way for the priest and server, who
were coming up the stairs. They had come for the requiem service. By
Svidrigailov's orders it was sung twice a day punctually. Svidrigailov
went his way. Raskolnikov stood still a moment, thought, and followed
the priest into Sonia's room. He stood at the door. They began quietly,
slowly and mournfully singing the service. From his childhood the
thought of death and the presence of death had something oppressive
and mysteriously awful; and it was long since he had heard the requiem
service. And there was something else here as well, too awful and
disturbing. He looked at the children: they were all kneeling by the
coffin; Polenka was weeping. Behind them Sonia prayed, softly and, as it
were, timidly weeping.
"These last two days she hasn't said a word to me, she hasn't glanced at
me," Raskolnikov thought suddenly. The sunlight was bright in the room;
the incense rose in clouds; the priest read, "Give rest, oh Lord...."
Raskolnikov stayed all through the service. As he blessed them and
took his leave, the priest looked round strangely. After the service,
Raskolnikov went up to Sonia. She took both his hands and let her
head sink on his shoulder. This slight friendly gesture bewildered
Raskolnikov. It seemed strange to him that there was no trace of
repugnance, no trace of disgust, no tremor in her hand. It was the
furthest limit of self-abnegation, at least so he interpreted it.
Sonia said nothing. Raskolnikov pressed her hand and went out. He felt
very miserable. If it had been possible to escape to some solitude, he
would have thought himself lucky, even if he had to spend his whole life
there. But although he had almost always been by himself of late, he had
never been able to feel alone. Sometimes he walked out of the town on to
the high road, once he had even reached a little wood, but the lonelier
the place was, the more he seemed to be aware of an uneasy presence near
him. It did not frighten him, but greatly annoyed him, so that he
made haste to return to the town, to mingle with the crowd, to enter
restaurants and taverns, to walk in busy thoroughfares. There he felt
easier and even more solitary. One day at dusk he sat for an hour
listening to songs in a tavern and he remembered that he positively
enjoyed it. But at last he had suddenly felt the same uneasiness again,
as though his conscience smote him. "Here I sit listening to singing,
is that what I ought to be doing?" he thought. Yet he felt at once
that that was not the only cause of his uneasiness; there was something
requiring immediate decision, but it was something he could not clearly
understand or put into words. It was a hopeless tangle. "No, better the
struggle again! Better Porfiry again... or Svidrigailov.... Better some
challenge again... some attack. Yes, yes!" he thought. He went out of
the tavern and rushed away almost at a run. The thought of Dounia and
his mother suddenly reduced him almost to a panic. That night he woke
up before morning among some bushes in Krestovsky Island, trembling
all over with fever; he walked home, and it was early morning when he
arrived. After some hours' sleep the fever left him, but he woke up
late, two o'clock in the afternoon.
He remembered that Katerina Ivanovna's funeral had been fixed for that
day, and was glad that he was not present at it. Nastasya brought him
some food; he ate and drank with appetite, almost with greediness. His
head was fresher and he was calmer than he had been for the last three
days. He even felt a passing wonder at his previous attacks of panic.
The door opened and Razumihin came in.
"Ah, he's eating, then he's not ill," said Razumihin. He took a chair
and sat down at the table opposite Raskolnikov.
He was troubled and did not attempt to conceal it. He spoke with evident
annoyance, but without hurry or raising his voice. He looked as though
he had some special fixed determination.
"Listen," he began resolutely. "As far as I am concerned, you may all go
to hell, but from what I see, it's clear to me that I can't make head or
tail of it; please don't think I've come to ask you questions. I don't
want to know, hang it! If you begin telling me your secrets, I dare say
I shouldn't stay to listen, I should go away cursing. I have only come
to find out once for all whether it's a fact that you are mad? There is
a conviction in the air that you are mad or very nearly so. I admit
I've been disposed to that opinion myself, judging from your stupid,
repulsive and quite inexplicable actions, and from your recent behavior
to your mother and sister. Only a monster or a madman could treat them
as you have; so you must be mad."
"When did you see them last?"
"Just now. Haven't you seen them since then? What have you been doing
with yourself? Tell me, please. I've been to you three times already.
Your mother has been seriously ill since yesterday. She had made up
her mind to come to you; Avdotya Romanovna tried to prevent her; she
wouldn't hear a word. 'If he is ill, if his mind is giving way, who can
look after him like his mother?' she said. We all came here together, we
couldn't let her come alone all the way. We kept begging her to be calm.
We came in, you weren't here; she sat down, and stayed ten minutes,
while we stood waiting in silence. She got up and said: 'If he's
gone out, that is, if he is well, and has forgotten his mother, it's
humiliating and unseemly for his mother to stand at his door begging for
kindness.' She returned home and took to her bed; now she is in a fever.
'I see,' she said, 'that he has time for _his girl_.' She means by _your
girl_ Sofya Semyonovna, your betrothed or your mistress, I don't know. I
went at once to Sofya Semyonovna's, for I wanted to know what was going
on. I looked round, I saw the coffin, the children crying, and
Sofya Semyonovna trying them on mourning dresses. No sign of you. I
apologised, came away, and reported to Avdotya Romanovna. So that's all
nonsense and you haven't got a girl; the most likely thing is that you
are mad. But here you sit, guzzling boiled beef as though you'd not had
a bite for three days. Though as far as that goes, madmen eat too, but
though you have not said a word to me yet... you are not mad! That I'd
swear! Above all, you are not mad! So you may go to hell, all of you,
for there's some mystery, some secret about it, and I don't intend to
worry my brains over your secrets. So I've simply come to swear at you,"
he finished, getting up, "to relieve my mind. And I know what to do
now."
"What do you mean to do now?"
"What business is it of yours what I mean to do?"
"You are going in for a drinking bout."
"How... how did you know?"
"Why, it's pretty plain."
Razumihin paused for a minute.
"You always have been a very rational person and you've never been mad,
never," he observed suddenly with warmth. "You're right: I shall drink.
Good-bye!"
And he moved to go out.
"I was talking with my sister--the day before yesterday, I think it
was--about you, Razumihin."
"About me! But... where can you have seen her the day before yesterday?"
Razumihin stopped short and even turned a little pale.
One could see that his heart was throbbing slowly and violently.
"She came here by herself, sat there and talked to me."
"She did!"
"Yes."
"What did you say to her... I mean, about me?"
"I told her you were a very good, honest, and industrious man. I didn't
tell her you love her, because she knows that herself."
"She knows that herself?"
"Well, it's pretty plain. Wherever I might go, whatever happened to me,
you would remain to look after them. I, so to speak, give them into your
keeping, Razumihin. I say this because I know quite well how you love
her, and am convinced of the purity of your heart. I know that she too
may love you and perhaps does love you already. Now decide for yourself,
as you know best, whether you need go in for a drinking bout or not."
"Rodya! You see... well.... Ach, damn it! But where do you mean to go?
Of course, if it's all a secret, never mind.... But I... I shall find
out the secret... and I am sure that it must be some ridiculous nonsense
and that you've made it all up. Anyway you are a capital fellow, a
capital fellow!..."
"That was just what I wanted to add, only you interrupted, that that was
a very good decision of yours not to find out these secrets. Leave it to
time, don't worry about it. You'll know it all in time when it must be.
Yesterday a man said to me that what a man needs is fresh air, fresh
air, fresh air. I mean to go to him directly to find out what he meant
by that."
Razumihin stood lost in thought and excitement, making a silent
conclusion.
"He's a political conspirator! He must be. And he's on the eve of some
desperate step, that's certain. It can only be that! And... and Dounia
knows," he thought suddenly.
"So Avdotya Romanovna comes to see you," he said, weighing each
syllable, "and you're going to see a man who says we need more air, and
so of course that letter... that too must have something to do with it,"
he concluded to himself.
"What letter?"
"She got a letter to-day. It upset her very much--very much indeed. Too
much so. I began speaking of you, she begged me not to. Then... then
she said that perhaps we should very soon have to part... then she began
warmly thanking me for something; then she went to her room and locked
herself in."
"She got a letter?" Raskolnikov asked thoughtfully.
"Yes, and you didn't know? hm..."
They were both silent.
"Good-bye, Rodion. There was a time, brother, when I.... Never mind,
good-bye. You see, there was a time.... Well, good-bye! I must be off
too. I am not going to drink. There's no need now.... That's all stuff!"
He hurried out; but when he had almost closed the door behind him, he
suddenly opened it again, and said, looking away:
"Oh, by the way, do you remember that murder, you know Porfiry's, that
old woman? Do you know the murderer has been found, he has confessed
and given the proofs. It's one of those very workmen, the painter, only
fancy! Do you remember I defended them here? Would you believe it, all
that scene of fighting and laughing with his companions on the stairs
while the porter and the two witnesses were going up, he got up on
purpose to disarm suspicion. The cunning, the presence of mind of the
young dog! One can hardly credit it; but it's his own explanation, he
has confessed it all. And what a fool I was about it! Well, he's simply
a genius of hypocrisy and resourcefulness in disarming the suspicions of
the lawyers--so there's nothing much to wonder at, I suppose! Of course
people like that are always possible. And the fact that he couldn't keep
up the character, but confessed, makes him easier to believe in. But
what a fool I was! I was frantic on their side!"
"Tell me, please, from whom did you hear that, and why does it interest
you so?" Raskolnikov asked with unmistakable agitation.
"What next? You ask me why it interests me!... Well, I heard it from
Porfiry, among others... It was from him I heard almost all about it."
"From Porfiry?"
"From Porfiry."
"What... what did he say?" Raskolnikov asked in dismay.
"He gave me a capital explanation of it. Psychologically, after his
fashion."
"He explained it? Explained it himself?"
"Yes, yes; good-bye. I'll tell you all about it another time, but now
I'm busy. There was a time when I fancied... But no matter, another
time!... What need is there for me to drink now? You have made me drunk
without wine. I am drunk, Rodya! Good-bye, I'm going. I'll come again
very soon."
He went out.
"He's a political conspirator, there's not a doubt about it," Razumihin
decided, as he slowly descended the stairs. "And he's drawn his sister
in; that's quite, quite in keeping with Avdotya Romanovna's character.
There are interviews between them!... She hinted at it too... So many of
her words.... and hints... bear that meaning! And how else can all this
tangle be explained? Hm! And I was almost thinking... Good heavens,
what I thought! Yes, I took leave of my senses and I wronged him! It was
his doing, under the lamp in the corridor that day. Pfoo! What a crude,
nasty, vile idea on my part! Nikolay is a brick, for confessing.... And
how clear it all is now! His illness then, all his strange actions...
before this, in the university, how morose he used to be, how gloomy....
But what's the meaning now of that letter? There's something in that,
too, perhaps. Whom was it from? I suspect...! No, I must find out!"
He thought of Dounia, realising all he had heard and his heart throbbed,
and he suddenly broke into a run.
As soon as Razumihin went out, Raskolnikov got up, turned to the window,
walked into one corner and then into another, as though forgetting the
smallness of his room, and sat down again on the sofa. He felt, so to
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