Voila! Finally, the The Proposal script is here for all you fans of the Sandra Bullock movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some The Proposal quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?
And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.
The Proposal Script
Shit!
Andrew, hey.
Here you go. Your regular lattes.
Literally saved my life.
Thank you. Thank you.
- Everyone OK?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Me too.
Hello, Frank?
How's my favourite writer?
Of course you've been thinking about
our talk because you know I'm right.
People in this country are busy,
broke, and hate to read.
They need someone to say,
"Hey! Don't watch
CSl: Indianapolis tonight.
Read a book! Read Frank's book."
And that person is Oprah.
- Cuttin' it close.
- One of those mornings.
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Sweet...
- Sorry.
...Jesus!
Rub some dirt on it, brother.
Frank, the truth is
all A-plus novelists do publicity.
Roth, McCourt, Russo and...
Frank! Can I tell you what else
they have in common? A Pulitzer.
I need the shirt off your back.
Literally.
- You're kidding, right?
- Yankees, Boston, this Tuesday,
two company seats for your shirt.
You have five seconds to decide.
- Five, four, three, two, one.
- I know...
Later.
Hello. Hello?
Morning. You have a
conference call in 30 minutes.
Yes. About the marketing
of the spring books. I know.
- Staff meeting at 9.00.
- Did you call... What's her name?
The one with the ugly hands.
- Janet.
- Yes, Janet.
Yes. I did. I told her that if she
doesn't get her manuscript in on time
you won't give her a release date.
Your immigration lawyer called.
He said it's imperative...
Cancel the call, push the meeting to
tomorrow, keep the lawyer on the sheets.
Get a hold of PR, have them
start drafting a press release.
- Frank is doing Oprah.
- Wow. Nicely done.
If I want your praise,
I will ask for it.
Who is... Who is Jillian?
And why does she want me to call her?
- Well, that was originally my cup.
- And I'm drinking your coffee why?
Because your coffee spilled.
So, you drink unsweetened
cinnamon light soy lattes?
I do. It's like Christmas in a cup.
- Is that a coincidence?
- Incredibly, it is.
I wouldn't drink
the same coffee that you drink
just in case yours spilled.
That would be pathetic.
Morning. Miss Tate's office.
Hey, Bob.
Actually, we're headed
to your office right now. Yeah.
Why are we headed to Bob's office?
Have you finished
the manuscript I gave you?
I read a few pages.
I wasn't that impressed.
- Can I say something?
- No.
I've read thousands of manuscripts,
this is the only one I've given you.
There's an incredible novel in there.
The kind of novel you used to publish.
Wrong. And I do think you
order the same coffee as I do
just in case you spill,
which is, in fact, pathetic.
- Or impressive.
- I'd be impressed
if you didn't spill in the first place.
Remember, you're a prop.
Won't say a word.
Our fearless leader and her liege.
Please, do come in.
Beautiful breakfront. Is it new?
It is English Regency Egyptian
Revival, built in the 1800s
but, yes, it is new to my office.
Witty. Bob, I'm letting you go.
Pardon?
I asked you a dozen times to get
Frank to do Oprah, and you didn't do it.
You're fired.
I have told you that is impossible.
Frank hasn't done
an interview in 20 years.
That is interesting, because I just got
off the phone with him, and he is in.
- Excuse me?
- You didn't even call him, did you?
- But...
- I know, I know.
Frank can be a little scary
to deal with. For you.
Now, I will give you two months
to find another job.
And then you can tell
everyone you resigned, OK?
- What's his twenty?
- He's moving. He has crazy eyes.
Don't do it, Bob. Don't do it.
You poisonous bitch!
You can't fire me!
You don't think I see
what you're doing here?
Sandbagging me on this Oprah thing
so that you can look good to the board?
Because you are threatened by me!
- And you are a monster.
- Bob, stop.
Just because you have no semblance
of a life outside of this office,
you think that you can treat all of us
like your own personal slaves.
You know what? I feel sorry for you.
Because you know what
you're gonna have on your deathbed?
Nothing and no one.
Listen carefully, Bob.
I didn't fire you
because I feel threatened. No.
I fired you because you're
lazy, entitled, incompetent
and you spend more time cheating
on your wife than you do in your office.
And if you say another word,
Andrew here is gonna
have you thrown out, OK?
Another word and you're going
out of here with an armed escort.
Andrew will film it with
his camera phone
and he'll put it
on that Internet site.
- What was it?
- YouTube?
Exactly. Is that what you want?
Didn't think so. I have work to do.
Have security take his breakfront
- and put it in my conference room.
- Will do.
I need you this weekend to help
review his files and his manuscript.
- This weekend?
- You have a problem with that?
No. I... just my
grandmother's 90th birthday,
so I was gonna go home and...
It's fine. I'll cancel it.
You're saving me from a weekend
of misery, so it's... Good talk, yeah.
I know, I know. OK,
tell Gammy I'm sorry. OK? What...
Mom. What do you want me to tell you?
She's making me work the weekend.
No, I'm not... no.
I've worked too hard for this
promotion to throw it all away.
I'm sure that Dad is pissed,
but we take all of our submissions
around here seriously.
We'll get back to you as soon as we can.
- Was that your family?
- Yes.
- They tell you to quit?
- Every single day.
Miss Tate's office.
Yeah. OK. All right.
Bergen and Malloy
want to see you upstairs.
OK. Come get me in ten minutes.
- We've got a lot to do.
- Okey-doke.
Good morning, Miss Tate.
Jack, Edwin.
Congratulations on the Oprah thing.
- That's terrific news.
- Thank you, thank you.
This isn't about my second raise, is it?
Just kidding.
Margaret, do you remember
when we agreed
you wouldn't go to
the Frankfurt Book Fair
because you weren't allowed
out of the country
while your visa application
was being processed?
- Yes. I do.
- And... you went to Frankfurt.
Yes. We were going to lose
DeLillo to Viking.
So... really didn't
have a choice, did I?
Seems the United States Government
doesn't care who publishes Don DeLillo.
We just spoke to your
immigration attorney.
Great. So, we're all good?
Everything good?
Margaret, your visa
application has been denied.
- And you are being deported.
- Deported?
And there was also some paperwork
you didn't fill out in time.
Come on. Come on!
It's not like I'm even an immigrant!
I'm from Canada, for Christ's sake.
There's gotta be...
something we can do.
We can reapply, but unfortunately
you have to leave the country
for at least a year.
OK. OK, well, that's not ideal, but
I can... I can manage
everything from Toronto...
- No.
...with videoconferencing, Internet.
Unfortunately, if you're deported,
you can't work for an American company.
Until this is resolved I'm going to
turn operations over to Bob Spaulding.
- Bob Spaulding? The guy I just fired?
- We need an editor in chief.
He is the only person
who has enough experience.
- You cannot be serious. I beg of you.
- Margaret.
We are desperate to have you stay.
If there was any way, any way at all
we could make this work,
we'd be doing it.
There is no way... I am begging you.
No. Excuse me, we're in a meeting.
- Sorry to interrupt.
- What?!
Mary from Ms Winfrey's office
called. She's on the line.
- I know.
- She's on hold.
She needs to speak with you.
I told her you were otherwise engaged.
She insisted, so... sorry.
So.
Come here.
Gentlemen, I understand. I understand
the predicament that we are in.
And...
And there's... Well...
I think there's something
that you should know.
We're getting married.
- We are getting married.
- Who is getting married?
You and I.
You and I are getting married! Yes.
- We are.
- Getting married.
- We are getting married.
- Yes.
Isn't he your secretary?
- Assistant.
- Executive... assistant secretary.
Titles. But, wouldn't be the first time
one of us fell for our secretaries.
Would it, Edwin?
With Laquisha. Remember?
So, yeah. The truth is, you know,
Andrew and I, we're...
...we are just two people who weren't
meant to fall in love but we did.
No.
All those late nights at
the office and weekend book fairs.
- Yeah...
- No.
- Something happened.
- Something.
Yeah.
Tried to fight it and...
Can't fight a...
Can't fight...
Can't fight a love like ours, so...
Are we good with this?
Are you happy?
Because, well, we are happy. So happy.
- Margaret.
- Yes?
It's terrific.
Just make it legal.
Legal.
Yeah, well, then that means we...
...we need to get ourselves
to the immigration office.
So we can work this
whole mess out. Right?
Thank you very much, gentlemen.
We will do that right away.
Thank you very much, gentlemen.
Thank you.
- Gentlemen.
- Thank you.
Margaret and Andrew are getting married!
- What is that about?
- Dragon Lady! Here they come.
- Yeah.
- What is he thinking?
Dude, for real. Her?
Married? Didn't
even know they were dating.
What?
- I don't understand what's happening.
- Relax. This is for you, too.
Do explain.
They were going to make Bob chief.
- Naturally I would have to marry you?
- And what's the problem?
Like you were saving yourself
for someone special?
I like to think so.
Besides, it's illegal.
They're looking for terrorists,
not for book publishers.
- Margaret.
- Yes?
- I'm not gonna marry you.
- Sure you are.
Because if you don't,
your dreams of touching the lives
of millions with
the written word are dead.
Bob is gonna fire you the
second I'm gone. Guaranteed.
That means you're out on the
street looking for a job.
That means the time that we
spent together, the lattes,
the cancelled dates,
the midnight Tampax runs,
were all for nothing and all your dreams
of being an editor are gone.
Don't worry, after the required
allotment of time,
we'll get a divorce
and you'll be done with me.
But until then, like it or not,
your wagon is hitched to mine.
OK? Phone.
- This way.
- Margaret.
- Come.
- That's the line.
- Next, please.
- Just...
Sorry, I need to ask him something.
I need for you to file this
fiancée visa for me, please.
- Miss Tate?
- Yes.
Please, come with me.
Yes, ma'am, I understand that.
We're backed up...
I have a bad feeling about this.
- Hi. Hello.
- Hello.
- Hi. I'm Mr Gilbertson.
- Hi.
And you must be Andrew,
and you must be...
- Margaret.
- Margaret, well...
Sorry about the wait.
It's a crazy day today.
Of course, of course.
We understand.
I can't tell you how much
we appreciate you seeing us
- on such short notice.
- OK.
So, I have one question for you.
Are you both committing fraud
to avoid her deportation
so she can keep her position as
editor in chief at Colden Books?
- That's ridiculous.
- Where did you hear that?
We had a phone tip this afternoon
from a man named...
Would it be Bob Spaulding?
- Bob Spaulding.
- Bob. Poor Bob. I am so sorry.
Bob is nothing but a disgruntled
former employee.
And I apologise.
But we know you're incredibly busy
with a room full of gardeners
and delivery boys to tend to.
If you just give us our next step, we
will be out of your hair and on our way.
Miss Tate, please.
Let me explain to you the process
that's about to unfold.
Step one, will be a scheduled interview.
I'll put you each in a room,
and I'll ask you every little question
that a real couple
would know about each other.
Step two, I dig deeper.
I look at your phone records,
I talk to your neighbours,
I interview your co-workers.
If your answers don't
match up at every point,
you will be deported indefinitely.
And you, young man,
will have committed a felony
punishable by a fine of $250,and a stay of five years