I’ll Never Leave You Again

Jack

I waited for Cassie on the couch in the tiny living room. Looking around, I surveyed the small apartment and thought to myself that we’d need a bigger place soon. And I needed a gym. But we could deal with that later. She walked out in her pajamas, grabbed one of the boxes of pizza, and tossed it on the coffee table near our legs.

“I’m ready now.”

I walked into the lobby of Cassie’s apartment building and was immediately greeted by an older gentleman in a dark gray suit and black bow tie. The doorman’s kind face almost set my rattled nerves at ease. Almost.

“Good evening, sir. May I help you?” he asked, eyeing the packages in my arms curiously.

“Yes.” I forced a smile before asking, “I was wondering if you could help me out?” I moved toward him and placed the packages carefully on the tiled floor. His eyes raced between my now revealed Mets jersey and the boxes at my feet. I could sense he was nervous, or maybe it was caution I picked up on, but I immediately wanted to put him at ease.

“These are for Cassie Andrews. She lives here.”

A large grin covered his face, replacing the uncertainty. “I know Miss Andrews. Lovely girl. Talented, too.”

I knew that tone. It was pride, and even the doorman in Cassie’s apartment building felt it for her. “Yes, she is.”

I extended my hand toward him. “I’m Jack.”

“Fred. How can I help you, Jack?” he asked, gripping my hand with more strength than I expected.

I sat for a moment wondering just how much to tell this stranger and how. “Long story short, Cassie was my girl. But I fucked everything up and lost her.” I eyed him apologetically after swearing. If Gran heard me talk like that to an older person, she’d smack me upside the head. “Sorry for the f-word.”

“It’s fine. Go on.” Fred leaned against the reception desk, his eyes sparkling with interest.

“I’m here to get her back. Each one of these packages is a different gift. I need to get them to her, but I can’t be the one to do it.” My voice shook as I tried to explain. “Am I making any sense?”

“Yes.” He smiled again. “Do they all go at once?”

I threw my hands in the air, thankful for his question. “No!” I shouted a little too aggressively. “Sorry. They go separately. There’s an order to them.”

“Do you know which gift goes first?”

I looked down at my feet. “Yeah. It’s really heavy, though.”

“That’s OK. Here, let’s hide the rest behind the desk. Just in case she wants to come down and get the first one.”

“OK, so what’s the plan?” I stared at the man I now found myself depending on.

“I’ll call her and let her know that a package arrived. She can decide if she wants to come down to get it or if I should bring it up. We’ll go from there.”

“Sounds good,” I said, before cracking my knuckles and pacing nervously.

Fred pressed a button and began speaking. “Miss Andrews, there’s a package down here for you. Do you want me to bring it up, or would you like to come get it?” His eyes met mine as we both waited for her response.

The speaker crackled and her voice filled the otherwise empty lobby. “Can you bring it up, Fred? I’d really appreciate it.”

I literally had to brace myself against the wall at the sound of her voice. That voice filled my dreams at night. That voice belonged to the girl who belonged to me. That was my voice, and I wanted it back.

“Unless you’re busy, then I can come down. Whatever is more convenient for you, Fred. Thanks.”

That’s my kitten. So considerate of others all the time. I took a deep breath as my chest relaxed. “OK, Miss Andrews. I’ll be up soon,” Fred responded politely.

“Ready?” Fred asked me with a smirk.

I nodded, bending down to lift the weightiest box first. “It’s really heavy,” I warned him before dropping it into his arms.

“Jesus, what’s in this?” Fred remarked, his voice strained.

“Quarters. A hell of a lot of quarters,” I said with a smile, and rushed over to press the elevator button for him.

When the elevator doors opened with a ding, I watched him walk inside, press a button and cock his head at me. “Wish me luck,” he added with a smile.

“Hell, wish ME luck!” I shouted back as the doors closed.

Fuck. What if she gets pissed off? What if she hates me? Why did I let so many months pass by without talking to her? I smacked the side of my head with my palm and reminded myself that I was a fucking idiot. No girl in her right mind would take someone like me back. I suddenly found myself praying that Cass was crazy. Or at least half crazy. That way I’d have a shot.

A few moments later, the elevator doors dinged back to life and Fred stepped out, a smile on his face. “One down.”

“What’d she say? Anything?”

“She thinks someone is sending her weights.” He chuckled.

I laughed loudly just imagining her saying that, and it echoed through the small lobby. “OK, here’s the next one.” I watched as his body braced and tensed at the anticipation of the second box. “Don’t worry, it’s not heavy,” I said and watched as Fred exhaled in relief. “But it is fragile. There’s a bunch of picture frames in there.”

“Be right back.” Fred’s smile was contagious, and I found myself smiling just as broadly as he was.

I paced the tile floor, waiting for his return. This had to work. This was my girl we were talking about. If wasn’t going to be Cassie by my side, then it would be no one. I’d never love anyone the way I love this girl. There’s no way we went through all of this bullshit for nothing.

The elevator ding interrupted my thoughts. Fred stepped out, his face still scrunched up from the force of his smile.

“What’d she say this time?” I searched his eyes for answers.

“Nothing. She wondered if this package arrived with the first one. I told her no.” He shrugged. “What’s next?”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Actually, yes.”

“Well, here you go,” I said, dropping another light box into his waiting arms.

That delivery was filled with Cassie’s rules and all the ways in which I’d broken them. And all the ways in which I’d never break them again. I made promises to her in that box and by the grace of God, or whatever higher power exists in this world, I hoped she’d give me the chance to make good on those promises.

Another ding and Fred emerged. “She’s confused,” he admitted. “She doesn’t know what’s going on.”

“Confused is good. It’s better than mad. She’s not mad, right?”

“She doesn’t seem mad. She did want to know who was bringing the packages.”

“What’d you say?” I asked as nerves shot through my body.

“I told her some kid was dropping them off one at a time.”

“She bought that?” I huffed out a laugh.

“She bought it.” He grinned mischievously.

“You’re good, Fred. Thank you. Here’s the next one.” I handed him a manila envelope as he entered the waiting elevator.

This was the next-to-last gift I had, the gag about eye-rolling and all the ways in which it was bad for you. There was only one more small box to go before I stood outside of her apartment door and hoped she’d open it. I looked down at my Mets jersey and ran my hands over it, making sure I looked presentable.

“She’s crying,” Fred said, the moment he exited the elevator.

“Shit,” I exclaimed as my heart fell into the pit of my stomach.

“She said they were good tears, though, so I think you’re in the clear,” he added, patting my shoulder.

I looked up at the ceiling and swallowed hard. “Whew. OK. This is the last one, Fred, but I have to come up with you. Is there anywhere for me to wait without her seeing me while you deliver this last package?”

“You can wait in the hallway, around the corner. She won’t see you there,” he suggested.

“Sounds good. You ready to see if I get my heart back?” I asked, clutching a dozen red roses.

“I have a good feeling,” he said, glancing at the flowers.

We stepped out of the elevator together and into the illuminated hallway. Fred pointed at the door marked #323, and I nodded, hurrying around the opposite corner. The knock on the door was soft, but the sound carried. I heard Cassie tease Fred about how she should just leave her door open all night.

Fred informed her that this would be the last package. Was that disappointment I heard in her voice as she thanked him? Her door closed softly, and Fred cleared his throat. I peered around the corner, and he waved me over. “Good luck, Jack.” He reached out his hand.

“Thank you so much for all your help. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“Yeah, you could have,” he said with a grin before stepping into the elevator and disappearing.

The last package simply contained a letter from me and a small note asking her to open her front door. I hurried to Cassie’s apartment door and waited with the roses clutched in my sweaty hands, right in front of the Mets logo on my jersey. It was in this exact moment that I realized I’d left my confidence somewhere between my old life in Arizona and my new one here. I was nervous as hell. What if… so many what-ifs plagued my mind as the door flew open.

“Oh my God,” she said, as her voice rang out into the hallway.

She looked beautiful. I wanted to grab her, throw her against the wall, tell her how sorry I was for everything, and make up for each moment that had been lost between us. I lowered my arms, allowing the lettering on my jersey to show.

“I’m enjoying this,” Cassie’s face scrunched up with her broad grin.

“Enjoying what exactly?” I teased through my vulnerability. It was tough reliving the parts we’d just lived through. I had no idea if Cassie would ever forgive me or take me back. There was a good chance she wouldn’t. Last night was a huge risk for me, but I’d do it all again for her.

“Hearing all of this from your point of view. I want to see the rest of last night through your eyes.”

I inhaled deeply, knowing that I’d give her anything she asked for, and then I continued.

“Why are you wearing a Mets jersey?” she asked, her voice carrying a mixture of excitement and confusion.

“I got traded.”

“They traded you?” She sounded surprised. No, she sounded offended.

“Well, technically,” I couldn’t stop the smile from taking over my face, “I asked.”

“You asked what?” Her green eyes narrowed.

“I asked to be traded to the Mets.” I shrugged and looked down at the floor, wondering how long she was going to keep me outside.

Her eyes grew wide. “So, you live in New York now?”

“Just got here. Can I come in?”

“Of course. Yes.” She stumbled as she moved aside for me to enter, and I stifled a laugh. Was she nervous too?

“These are for you.” I pushed the long-stem roses toward her.

“Thank you. They’re beautiful.” She leaned in to smell them, and I watched her eyes close as she breathed in their fragrance.

She walked into her tiny kitchen, and I looked around her apartment, my eyes falling on the couch. “I see you got my gifts.”

“Mm-hmm,” she mumbled, and I wanted to silence her and make her moan all at the same time.

“Cassie.” I said her name as I inched my body close to hers. I tried to resist touching her, but being that close… a man only has so much willpower. I don’t know what it was exactly about her hair, but I was tempted to reach out and run my fingers through it. Instead, I found myself tucking strands behind her ear as she touched my face. I swear I turned into putty with her touch.

“Do you still love me?” I asked, as desperation and uncertainty coursed within me.

“I never stopped.”

That’s all I needed to hear. “Me either.” I grabbed the back of her neck, unable to wait a single solitary second longer. My mouth was instantly on hers, the heat between us radiating. My tongue reached out to meet hers before I pulled away. I needed to apologize before I tossed her fucking clothes to the ground along with my pride.

“I’m sorry for lying to you that morning. I’m sorry for cheating on you that night. I’m sorry for not being the person you knew I could be.”

Her lips pursed and I was desperate to kiss them, so I leaned in, kissing her bottom lip lightly. “And I don’t know if you can ever forgive me, but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t at least ask you to try.”

Please fucking forgive me.

“And I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. She was fighting the annulment and it took months to get it processed and finalized. I refused to fight for you while I was still carrying all that baggage. But it took a lot longer than I had expected. I should have called you. And I’m so sorry I didn’t.”

Please don’t let it be too late.

“I thought you hated me,” she whispered, her eyes avoiding mine, and I swear my fucking heart split into pieces.

She thought I hated her.

I’m such a dick.

Instinctively I reached for her chin, tilting her head up toward mine. “I could never hate you. I thought I was going to have to come before the annulment was complete when I’d heard about you and the guy from your work.” I forced my clenched stomach muscles to loosen their grip on me.

“How’d you know who he was?”

“Dean. I kept tabs on you, Kitten. Not in a creepy way, I swear. Just in a making-sure-I-wasn’t-going-to-lose-you-all-over-again way. See, you’ve always been able to see past the front I put up. I never thought I’d be able to find someone who would know the real me and still want to stick around. And then I saw you at that frat party and my life was never the same.” I spilled my guts to her, hoping that something I told her would click and she wouldn’t kick my ass to the curb.

A single tear ran down her cheek as I continued. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I need you.” I reached for her face, wiping the tear from her gorgeous face, finding myself lost in the green of her eyes.

“I need you too. I hate feeling vulnerable, and I want to pretend like I don’t, but it would be a lie.”

“Then don’t pretend. Tell me you’ll try to forgive me so we can move on from our past.”

Please forgive me.

“I already have,” she said, and I was torn between collapsing at her feet on the floor and jumping into the air like a pussy.

I leaned my head against hers, “I’ll earn your trust again. I promise.” I emphasized the word trust, hoping she knew just how much I meant everything I was saying to her.

With her face buried into my shoulder, I breathed in the smell of her shampoo, her soap, her skin. Her arms wrapped around my waist and her breath was hot against my neck as she inched closer toward my face. I was already turned on and excited from her nearness. “Prove it,” she whispered suggestively into my ear.

“Oh, I plan to,” I answered confidently, before giving her a chance to change her mind, or even think at all.

I lifted her into my arms, my hands firmly cupping her ass. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I pressed her back to the wall, rubbing my growing hardness against her. She moaned, and I grew even harder as my tongue traced the curves of her neck, her salty skin familiar and enticing. I licked and nipped my way toward her jawline, where her mouth waited, slightly parted.

Another breathy sound from her, and I thrust my tongue into her mouth. The feel of her tongue against mine caused my body to shudder uncontrollably. I pulled my mouth away, burying my head into her neck once more. I licked and sucked at her, her hips pressing against me as I continued grinding her into the wall.

“I’ve missed you,” I whispered into her ear.

“I’ve missed you too.” Her voice hitched, causing me to hesitate.

Against my better judgment, I pulled my head away from hers and looked into her eyes. “Do you want to stop? Is it too soon?” I considered momentarily that having sex might not be the best idea. No matter how badly my body craved it.

“I could lie and tell you I think we should wait. But honestly, I’ve waited long enough. I’ve been without you for too long already. I want you, Jack,” she insisted, her fingers digging into the muscles in my back.

“I’m so sorry for everything, Kitten.”

“I know. No more apologies. Tomorrow you can start again, but not right now.” She touched the side of my face, and I half wondered if it was all a dream.

Cupping her ass, I walked us into her bedroom, her tongue running along my bottom lip before entering my mouth with ravenous intent. I wove my fingers into her hair, pulling lightly as she released a quick gasp.

“If you don’t stop making those fucking sexy noises, I’m going to lose it right here.”

She smirked, clearly enjoying the power she had over me. She leaned into my ear, her tongue sucking and nibbling on it before breathing a heavy, long, drawn-out sigh.

“Oh, that’s it. You’re gonna get it,” I teased, before throwing her on top of the bed. I pulled off my Mets jersey and threw it to the floor, quickly followed by my white undershirt.

“God, I’ve missed your body,” she exclaimed while biting on her bottom lip, her eyes eating me up.

“I’m not man candy, Kitten,” I said with mock offense.

“Yeah, you are,” she insisted with a mischievous grin.

A smirk took over my face before I leaned toward her, my hands grabbing at her pajama bottoms. She lifted her hips and I pulled them down past her feet and discarded them. Then I straddled her, pressing my hardness against her mound. I wrapped one arm around her back and lifted her up toward me. Her arms instinctively wrapped around my shoulders, her nails digging into my back. I pulled at her tank top and she lifted her arms into the air before pressing her exposed breasts against my chest.

I’d been waiting so long to have her—thinking for months about the moment she would be mine again, hoping I’d get this chance—and the mere feel of her skin against me nearly sent me over the edge.

When my knees hit the edge of the mattress, I lowered her to the bed and inched slightly lower. She rested her head on top of a pillow, and I kissed her breasts, my tongue swirling, and my mouth sucking. She moaned as she reached for my head, her hands keeping me firmly in place. I sucked some more, my mouth hungry for every inch of her. My hands slid down her stomach to the front of her thong, my fingers rubbing against the material. I slipped my hand underneath the elastic, exploring, before entering. I moved my fingers in and out of her as she squirmed and tossed her head back.

My tongue traced a path between her breasts, up her neck, and into her hot mouth. She briefly pressed her tongue against mine before pulling away. “No more teasing. I want you, Jack.”

The sound of my name being spoken breathlessly from her mouth caused my breath to catch. My fingers slid out from inside her as I sat up again. I yanked my boxers to the floor before pulling her thong down and watching her kick it off with her feet. Her legs parted, making room for me, welcoming me home. “I love you, Kitten,” I said, as I slid inside her.

She fucking felt amazing as I rocked in and out of her. “Goddamn…” My voice trailed off as she moved her hips with mine, her breathing growing louder with each push. I thrust myself deeper until I could go no further, her moans growing in intensity and her breath quickening.

“Harder, Jack,” she demanded, and I pushed myself into her with more force. Each movement deep and hard, I knew I wouldn’t last much longer.

“Oh God,” she breathed out. “Don’t stop.”

And I prayed she’d come before I did. Her body rocked against me as sounds of pleasure escaped her lips. My pace quickened, and her body trembled as she tightened on me, her movements jerking lightly. I continued thrusting until I could take no more. My dick throbbed, and I released myself inside of her, a deep groan escaping my lips.

My breathing uneven, I stared into her eyes before pressing my mouth to hers. “I love you,” I said, my thumb caressing her cheek.

“I love you too.” She smiled, her hand weaving through my hair.

“I’ll never leave you again,” I promised, my heart finally feeling whole.

“If you do, I’ll fucking kill you,” she threatened through a smile.

“Deal.”

I watched as she untangled her body from mine, slipping out from the bed and into the bathroom.

Date: 2015-02-28; view: 908