Chapter 18

Sometimes I'm a kick-ass Jewish warrior woman. and sometimes I'm not.

Everyone is totally surprised when Avi and I catch up to them on the night run. There's a big bonfire, and everyone is sitting around it. Sergeant B-S walks up to Avi and me and says something in Hebrew, which is obviously about me because Avi gestures to my torn uniform and scraped-up chin when he answers.

"You don't want to go back to the base?" Sergeant B-S asks.

"No." I have to admit I'm still in some pain, but whatever numbing stuff was on that pad Avi used on my arms has taken the edge off.

Sergeant B-S nods approvingly. "Gefen, make sure she gets checked when we get back."

Avi salutes the sergeant.

The bonfire lights up the area and spreads warmth into the cool desert air. I could point out to Sergeant B-S that if my headlight could alert the enemy to our location, a big bonfire would most likely ensure our immediate demise. But whatever. I'm trying to go with the flow here.

"You don't have to sit with me," I tell Avi as he hesitates at my side. He's probably desperate to get away from me and go to his girlfriend. While he was super nice to me when we were alone, it was obviously out of duty. Now that Liron is in sight, he's surely waiting for me to let him off the hook. "You should talk to Liron," I say. "There's an empty spot next to her. She's probably saving it for you."

He looks surprised, but he nods his head and shrugs. "You sure?"

"Yep. I'll be fine. Go." Ugh. My stomach is tied in knots as he walks away from me. I wish I hadn't pushed him to go to her, but it's better than asking him to sit with me and have him reject me...

or worse, have him sit next to me but long to be with Liron.

I find a spot next to Tori.

"You look like crap," she tells me.

"Thanks. I'm sure I couldn't have figured that out on my own."

"Your bangs look good, though, thanks to me. Although the only way to hide the nasty cuts on your chin would be to grow a beard.

I don't think it'll be too hard for you."

I stand up. "If I wanted to be insulted, I would have sat next to Nathan. Nice talking to you. Bye."

"Wait!" she says, reaching out to grab the side of my pants. "I was just kidding."

"Do you even know how to be nice?"

I can see Tori perfectly in the light of the fire. Her blond hair shines like a halo, and her darker hair underneath looks like a protective shield. She looks up at me and says honesty, "I used to."

So now I feel sorry for her. Her little sincere comments make her vulnerable, which is something we have in common. I sit back down and stare into the fire.

"My parents thought I'd get over my anger about their divorce if I spent time with kids my own age and my own religion." She shakes her head in disgust. "Parents have no clue what their kids need."

Ha. "You think that's bad? I came on this trip to spend time with Avi. Look where that's gotten me." I gesture to Avi, sitting next to Liron.

"You think that's bad? My dad has a new girlfriend," Tori blurts out. "He says he wasn't dating her before they got divorced, but I'm not stupid."

"That's nothing. My mom dated a new guy every month before my stepfather. She totally had dating ADD. Then she got married and pregnant all in a year. I'm afraid she'll get parent ADD and not want the kid... or Marc."

"As long as we're playing Whose Life Sucks More?, I can one-up you yet again. My parents just got divorced and my dad already cancels the weekends he's supposed to have me. My mom hopes he moves away and never comes back so she doesn't have to deal with him. But that's not what I want. I just wish... I just wish things could go back to the way they were."

I gaze longingly at Avi. "I do, too." I sigh, resigned to living in the real world.

Jess groans as she sits down next to us.

"Where have you been, Cleo?" I ask my best friend.

"Cleo? Wait, what happened to your chin? Did George the Zit spread?"

"No. While you were being carried like Cleopatra on the stretcher, the real wounded--me--finished the run bandaged up like Frankenstein."

"Yeah, well /just puked my guts out. Did you ever realize how much vertigo you can get lying on a stretcher bouncing up and down like a frickin' basketball? I had a death grip on the sides the entire time. I seriously thought I was gonna bounce right off."

Miranda, who I just notice is sitting on the other side of Tori, leans forward. "I'm sick of hearing you guys be all negative. I want each of you to say something positive."

Positive? I point to my gauzed-up forearms, gesture to my bloody chin and then to Avi talking to Liron, and then, as the cherry on top of my miserable life, I lift up my bangs to show off George the Zit.

"Say something, Amy," Miranda insists. "Something positive. I'm sure it'll make you feel better."

"Okay, Miranda. I've got it." I motion the girls to lean in close to hear my positive words. "At least I'm not dead."

How's that for positivity?

I have to admit it does make me feel better.

Date: 2015-02-28; view: 612