There's a point in time when even the strongest person cracks underpressure.
The next morning our unit marches across the large courtyard and doesn't stop until we get to what's obviously an obstacle course. There's no doubt in my mind that this will be a challenge for me.
"We'll be testing your strength and stamina," Sergeant B-S says to us. "This course should be completed in less than three minutes."
I tell myself not to look over at Avi, but as usual I have a serious lack of self-control. My gaze wanders to him and I find him looking straight at me. So now our eyes are locked. My insides are melting, but I'm still angry and hurt. Even though it's scorching hot outside and I can feel the sweat running down my back and in between my boobs, a chill runs down my spine.
Sergeant B-S orders Nimrod and Avi to stand at the start of the obstacle course. Both get ready to race. "When the sergeant blows his whistle, they take off faster than Mutt when he spots a new dog at the dog park.
I watch Avi whiz through the course as if he's been doing this his entire life. I can't help but admire the muscles that bulge from his arms as he jumps to the monkey bars and grabs the first bar, then skips two bars at a time until he's done. Then he crosses the balance beam.
When he gets to the high rope, he uses his thigh muscles and arms to pull himself to the top, rings the bell, then grabs a handle that brings him down to the ground. Nimrod is right behind him. At the half wall they're neck and neck.
I'm holding my breath, wondering who will win. They reach the part of the course where you duck low under a set of entwined ropes. Avi gains a little ground as he slithers on the ground, not hesitating one iota.
In the end, Avi is the one who crosses the line first. Nimrod is close behind him. Both are breathing heavily as Sergeant B-S
tells us that Avi clocked in at thirty-eight seconds and Nimrod at forty-one.
Liron and Ronit line up next. When Sergeant B-S signals them to go, Liron blows Ronit away as she effortlessly does each obstacle. Ugh, no wonder Avi is attracted to her; not only is she pretty, but she can scale walls and shimmy up ropes. It's probably more impressive than being double-jointed. Liron clocks in at one minute one second while Ronit lags behind, finishing at one minute thirty seconds.
"Get in the same groups you were in yesterday," Sergeant B-S
calls out.
I try to act cool as I walk over to Avi. Unfortunately, I'm not paying attention and trip over something or someone. Oops, it's Tori...
I've stepped on the back of her foot again and her shoe came off.
"Ouch!" Tori yells out. "That's the second time you've done that, you spaz."
"Well maybe if you walked faster I wouldn't step on you.
Nathan grabs my shoulders. "Stop getting in fights with Tori," he says as he steers me away from her.
"She's rude."
"She's hot."
"So am I," I say as I wipe away another sweat drop that's falling down my forehead.
"I didn't mean hot as in sweaty. I mean hot as in--"
"I know what you meant," I say, cutting him off. Seriously, ever since Nathan finally stopped being obsessed with Bicky, he's been acting like a Bachelor reality show contestant. Since our third kiss and his breakup, he's gone out with more girls than I can count on two hands. And it doesn't help that he's been lead singer for Lickity Split, because lately he's been taking his groupies backstage and making out with them. He hasn't gone out with anyone twice yet. It's like he wants to make sure he doesn't get involved so there's no repeat of what he went through with Bicky. I wonder why the change in tactic since he met Tori.
I grab Nathan's hand while we wait for our other team members to assemble. Nathan pulls his hand loose, but I know Avis watching so I grab his hand again and squeeze my nails into his skin as a warning not to snatch it back.
Avi growls, "Wait here" and walks away to talk to Liron and some of the other Israeli team leaders.
"You're getting me in trouble with Avi," Nathan says through gritted teeth and a fake smile which makes him look like a marionette on Prozac.
"Do you remember when you had me fake-kiss you in front of your ex-bimbo Bicky, to let her know it was over between you guys?"
"Yeah. I seem to remember you biting me."
"Nathan, that was because your tongue crept into my mouth."
"I was making it authentic. Besides, don't deny you were getting into it."
"Because I was fantasizing you were my boyfriend." It's the honest truth: When I started kissing Nathan that last time, in front of Bicky, I was totally imagining he was Avi when we were last together--which was seriously the best night of my life. After fooling around in the car didn't work, Avi and I moved onto the deserted beach. His touches and kisses and caresses were more than OMG!
"He's looking at me like he wants to kill me," Nathan complains.
"Good. Now that he's watching us, kiss me," I whisper softly, moving my lips closer to his for a repeat performance.
Nathan pries his fingers loose and steps away, although we're far enough from our other team members that nobody can hear us.
"Are you kidding? First of all, didn't you sign the Sababa rule sheet attached to the brochure? It said, specifically, no fornicating. We're in Israel. For all I know fornicating might include kissing."
"No. It said no going off in private and fornicating. You really need to read the details more carefully. Anyways, nobody under the age of fifty knows the actual definition of fornicating so it won't hold up in a court of law."
"I told you I'm not doing this, Amy. "Well, unless we pretend to date, and then after we're done with the Israeli army portion of the trip I pretend to break up with you and youpretend 'to be devastated in front of Tori. You can tell Tori after the fake breakup that I'm good at everything. You know, make me sound like the stud you know I am. You have to promise to set us up, without her knowing you're setting us up. Then you've got what you want, and I've got what I want. Deal?"
I don't mention that if he was a real stud, he wouldn't need me pretending he's one. I also don't mention that Tori hates me, so the last person she'll listen to is me. But whatever. "Fine."
Before I can think twice about my deal with Nathan, he takes my hand and leads me to the middle of where our group has assembled around Avi. Avi is standing with his arms crossed, waiting impatiently. His jaw is clenched as he watches us walk up.
"No hand holding," he barks.
Nathan gazes at me with love and tenderness, then kisses the back of my hand before letting it go.
Avi explains that we'll be racing against another team, and it's up to us to make sure everyone participates in each obstacle.
"What if I can't scale that wall?" Miranda asks.
"Have one of your teammates help you over it," Avi tells her.
"You're a team. Nobody is left behind. Everyone finishes or everyone loses."
I hate races. They cause me too much stress. But Avi is a pro at this, and I'm ready to prove I'm not all talk and drama. I can kick some serious obstacle course butt when it comes right down to it.
I think.
The first heat is our team against Liron's team. I want to beat her team so bad, I can taste victory in my mouth. If only I paid more attention when they explained how to climb up that rope.
Sergeant B-S blows his trusty whistle.
We all run to the balance beam. One after another we walk across it. Next up are the monkey bars. I haven't done them since third grade, when I caught Michael Matthews looking up my pink-and-white plaid skirt. When I fell right on top of that little perv, and my knee connected with his face, I was secretly glad he went crying to Mrs. Feinstein with a bloody nose.
Tori is first. She maneuvers across the monkey bars easily enough, although she skipped the last three bars because she fell. David goes after her, skipping every other one and finishes effortlessly. Mirandas next.
"I can't do this," she tells us.
"Try," I say.
"Why try when I know I can't do it?"
She sounds more and more like me every day--it's scary. Avi said we have to do it, and work as a team, so how can she do it without actually doing it? I'm trying to think outside the box. It's a little hard to think when I see that four people from Liron's team have already successfully crossed the bars.
Ah, I've got it!
"What if we get on all fours and you step on our backs?"
Miranda shrugs.
I tell the team my plan. Me, Jess, Nathan, and the rest of the guys kneel down. Miranda walks on our backs while holding onto the bars above. I catch Avi nodding in approval and pointing to us as he talks to the sergeant. Miranda finishes with the bars really quickly, then profusely apologizes to the rest of the group as we each maneuver across the bars and head to the next obstacle.
Okay, so everyone finished the bars easily except for me. I got to the first bar, then slid off because my palms were sweaty and a bee buzzing in my ear freaked me out, even though I knew it was probably a worker bee. In the end, my team had to go down on their hands and knees again. I walked over them while grabbing each bar, just like Miranda.
The next obstacle is a tunnel. We all climb through easily and stop when we get to the rope. It's at least the height of a flagpole, if not higher.
I turn to my group. "I just want everyone to know that I'm afraid of heights."
"Then don't look down," Tori says. She steps on the first knot and starts climbing. "Hold it so it doesn't swing!" she yells at me.
I hold down the rope, even though I'm tempted to jiggle it hard until she falls off. I don't do it, because that would be mean. I might be whiny and a drama queen, but I like to think I'm not viciously mean to people.
David shimmies up the rope right behind Tori.
When they finish, Jess climbs and then the guys hold the rope for Miranda. For a girl who couldn't do the monkey bars, she's pretty impressive on the rope.
Now it's my turn.
Just the thought of going up that high makes me dizzy. I turn to Nathan. "Nathan, I don't think I can do it. I'll get vertigo. I don't want to die."
Nathan surveys the rope and says to me, "Well, nobody said we can't do it together. Go up and I'll follow behind you. You are my girlfriend; it's only natural we do it as a couple."
I roll my eyes so only Nathan can see. He kisses me on the nose, putting on the boyfriend act for anyone who cares enough to watch. "When Ethan holds the bottom of the rope, I step on the first big knot.
"Go up one," Nathan instructs.
I pull myself up to the next knot, and Nathan steps on the first. His arms are wrapped around my knees, holding me tight. "You okay?"
"So far, so good."
"Go up one more," he says, loosening his hold.
I go up another one. I feel Nathan right behind me, then holding me tight again. "Any vertigo yet!"
"Not yet."
"Go up another one."
"Come on!" Tori yells. "Just do it!"
"I swear if she yells at me again I'm gonna punch her in the face.
If I get out of this alive," I add.
"Ooh, a girl fight. "What a turn-on."
"My foot is close to your nuts, Nathan, and you're suspended on a rope. It's probably not the best time to piss me off."
"You kick me in the nuts, I'm pulling your pants down," he says, following me up another section of rope.
"Avi will kill you if you do that."
"I'll already be dead from the fall so it won't matter. One more, Amy."
I close my eyes as we get higher. I have to admit, when Nathans arms are around my knees, I feel safe.
Up and up we go. I close my eyes when I get to the top and tentatively ring the bell.
"Grab the handle and ride to the bottom," Nathan says.
"I can't."
"Yes, you can. You've come all this way--you can't stop now."
"We're losing because of you!" Tori yells at me. ""What a spaz," I hear her say.
That's it. My anger overrides my fear. I grab the handle and shut my eyes tight while my body glides back to earth.
When my feet safely reach the ground, I open my eyes. Tori is laughing at me. Jessica looks ready to murder her, probably because she's my best friend and we always look out for each other. I storm up to the laughing hyena.
"You are seriously the most annoying person," I tell her. "I wonder how anyone can be friends with you."
She pushes me. At another time or place I might have lost my balance and fallen on my butt. But adrenaline rushes through my body, giving me strength beyond my normal capabilities. I push her back, and she goes flying. She lands on her butt.
I stand above her and let it all out. "Stop harassing me, you double-jointed,
breast-challenged,
designer-knockoff-wearing
bully."
Tori's mouth is open wide. "You hit me!"
"No, I didn't. I pushed you."
"It's against the Sababa rules to assault another person. I'm telling!"
Oh, no. "You pushed me first, Tori." Geez, and they call me a drama queen.
Tori storms up to Avi. "Your girlfriend assaulted me."
"You've got two facts wrong. She's not my girlfriend. And you assaulted her first. Get back to the group and finish the course."
"She pushed me."
"This is not a discussion. Get back to the group and finish the course."
"Can't we just give up?" Nathan asks, watching as the other group nears the finish line. "We've obviously lost."
Looking into Avis eyes, I see strength and determination. He would never give up. He won't let us give up, either. "Let's keep going until we finish," I say to my team.
We walk half-heartedly to the next obstacle.
When it's my turn to go through the swinging tire, I put my hands and feet in first. It's a big mistake, because now I'm stuck. The front half of me is through the tire, but my butt is sticking out the other end. "Push me, Nathan."
"You're giving me permission to touch your ass?"
"Not touch it. Just push it."
"Avis watching. Should I caress it first to make him jealous?"
"Oh, yeah. What a great idea. Caressing my butt while it's stuck in a tire is definitely going to make him jealous. Not."
Nathan puts his hand on my butt. "Don't fart." He pushes me hard until I pop out of the tire. We're all sweaty and hot and it's worse because we know we lost.
The cargo net is easy enough to maneuver, although my foot slips a few times and I get rope burn on the back of my legs.
At the half wall, Miranda and I are hopeless. The guys hold Miranda on their shoulders and heave her over, then do the same for me. I swear, the wall is impossible. You have to have major arm strength to pull your body over it. Arm strength that I just don't possess.
After we step through a bunch of tires, we reach the last obstacle: crawling under the net. I look over at Avi watching us and wonder what's going through his head. There's hardly any room under the net. I kneel on the ground and duck my head. The ground is muddy, so I'm definitely getting dirty. I can't even crawl; I have to wiggle on my belly in order to go under this thing.
I use my fingernails to dig into the ground and my toes to help me slither forward like a snake. Seriously, how can Avi do the entire course in just over a half a minute?
"Push off my hands," Nathan says from behind me. He pushes me forward. I feel the time ticking away as I slide through... all the while my boobs are squished into the ground. My big C/D-cup boobs can probably fit into a training bra now.
I climb out and we all jog to the finish line. I feel victorious, although I must look like a complete mess. And we are in fact the big losers.
Avi has us sit on the ground while the other teams take their turns competing on the course. Tori grudgingly mumbles something about her uncle who's a lawyer and about what it did and did not say regarding assault in that infamous Sababa brochure.
Our group doesn't get to compete in the final heat because we came in last. "When I look up, Avi is standing over me.
"Amy, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of Nathan,"
I tell Avi. "We have no secrets between us."
Avi takes a deep breath, says, "Forget it," then walks away to stand by himself.
"He's brooding, Amy," Nathan informs me.
"I know."
I did tell Noah that whatever Avi wanted to say, he should say it to my face. Well, I guess it's time for me to hear it firsthand. I shouldn't delay the inevitable, dreaded conversation.
"Nathan, I'm going over to him."
"Want me to go with you?"
"That's probably not the safest idea. I think I can handle it." I stand, ready to face Avi and whatever news he's about to tell me.
"I'll be right back."
"Good luck. You'll need it."
"What do you want to talk to me about?" I ask Avi, who's standing close enough to our team to be seen but far enough away not to be heard.
"You didn't even try on the obstacle course, Amy."
"Are you kidding? I tried. Sorry if I'm not all buff and perfect like Liron."
"Yeah, not many girls can compete with her."
"Thanks. Next time you could give your team some pointers along the way. You are our team leader, you know."
"And as team leader, I knew your team could do it on your own.
Amy, admit you're lying about dating Nathan."
"No."
"Then why'd you make me take you somewhere private that first day and let me kiss you?"
"I had a brain fart."
"No, you're having a brain fart right now by pretending you and Nathan are a couple. God is definitely inscribing you in the Book of Liars."
My blood is way past boiling now. "How dare you! I'll have you know that Nathan's kisses are the best I've ever had. By far. You could take lessons from him."
He opens his mouth to respond, then snaps it shut when someone walks by. We can't have a conversation in true private and Avi hates dishing his dirt in public. "When are you gonna stop playing games, Amy?"
"Never. I like games. It makes life interesting. You should try it sometime, you know."
"I don't have time for games." He looks behind me to Nathan, who's chatting with Miranda and Jessica. "So this is how you want to end it?"
"Don't you?"
"No. Didn't you talk to Noah?"
"Not about us. Listen, Avi, you and I both know it's not working."
"I'm not good at relationships, Amy."
"Well, that's one more obstacle we'd have to get through if we were dating. You'd have to deal with my games, and with your girlfriend being an obstacle-course flunkee. I'd have to deal with your commitment phobia and the fact that you don't really want a full-time girlfriend you have to answer to. We were doomed from the start."
He lets out a slow breath. "Please don't make more out of this than it is. I've been trying to be who you want me to be, Amy."
"I just want you to be yourself. I've never once asked you to be someone else. It may not seem like it now, but I'm actually doing you a favor. Now you can have Liron or any other girl all to yourself, with a clear conscience."
Nathan slides up beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders. "Sorry, Avi," he says. "You win some, you lose some."
Liron comes up out of nowhere and stands next to Avi. She nudges him. "So you told her?"
He nods.
"I'm so sorry, Amy," Liron says so sincerely I want to rip those blond streaks right out of her head. "But I'm glad you know. Now I won't feel so weird around you anymore."
Great. That makes one of us.
Avi puts his arm around Liron. I want to swat it off her, but as Nathan said, you win some, you lose some. I just wish I wasn't the one who'd lost.