DO CHICKS REALLY HAVE THEIR OWN CODE?

Yes, I'm afraid so. One morning, just before slipping out the door while my hostess was in the shower, I happened upon a copy of the rumored tome. I didn't have time to flip much past the pink bedazzled cover, but here are some of the phrases I remember seeing on the frilly pages within:

• A chick shall not sleep with another chick's ex-boyfriend, unless she does.

• A chick never pays for anything. Ever.

• If two chicks get into a fight, they shall make catty remarks and pretend to ignore each other, rather than simply stripping down and wrestling it out.

• If a chick hears a chick-empowerment song like "I Will Survive," she shall stop whatever she's doing, grab another chick's hand, and shriek the lyrics at the top of her lungs.

• A chick may get a dog as a pet, but only if it fits in her mailbox.

• If two chicks are wearing the same outfit, each retains the right to accidentally spill a drink on the other.

• A chick shall not operate a motor vehicle in a safe manner.

• A chick has a free pass to slut it up on Halloween.

ARTICLE 23

When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boohs. This includes, but is not limited to, exercise shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions, surgery programs.

ARTICLE 24

When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o'clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.

ARTICLE 25

A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girl's name.

The average relationship between a man and a woman lasts eighty-three days. The relationship between a man and his skin lasts a lifetime and must be nurtured, because as we all know, the skin is the largest and second most important organ a man has.

Date: 2014-12-21; view: 1142