EXTREME STRESS

For decades it was widely held that following the death of a loved

one, people go through a necessary period of intense grief during which

they work through their loss and, about a year later, pick up and go on

with their lives. Psychologists and physicians as well as the public at

large have endorsed this cultural wisdom. But Wortman and others have

challenged this view on the basis of their own research and reviews of

the literature on loss.

According to Wortman, the first myth about bereavement is that

people should be intensely distressed when a loved one dies, which

suggests that people who are not devastated are behaving abnormally,

perhaps pathologically. Often, however, people have prepared for the

loss, said their goodbyes, and feel little remorse or regret; indeed, they

may be relieved that their loved one is no longer suffering. The second

myth . that people need to work through their grief . may lead family,

friends, and even physicians to consciously or unconsciously encourage

the bereaved to feel or act distraught. Moreover, physicians may deny

those mourners who are deeply disturbed needed antianxiety or

antidepressant medication .for their own good.. The third myth holds

that people who find meaning in the death, who come to a spiritual or

existential understanding of why it happened, cope better than those

who do not. In reality, people who do not seek greater understanding

are the best adjusted and least depressed. The fourth myth . that people

should recover from a loss within a year or so . is perhaps the most

damaging. Parents trying to cope with the death of an infant and adults

whose spouse or child died suddenly in a vehicle accident continue to

experience painful memories and wrestle with depression years after.

But because they have not recovered .on schedule,. members of their

social network may become unsympathetic. Hence, the people who

need support most may hide their feelings because they do not want to

make other people uncomfortable and fail to seek treatment because

they, too, believe they should recover on their own.

Not all psychologists agree with this .new. view of bereavement.

But most agree that research on loss must take into account individual

(and group or cultural) differences, as well as variations in the

circumstances surrounding a loss.

Date: 2015-01-29; view: 980