THANK YOU 14 page

I brushed my teeth, splashed water on my face, and started to head downstairs. “Where are you going?” Her needy voice stopped me in my tracks.

“I’m just heading to the gym. Go back to sleep.” I took two steps toward her before changing direction and running down the stairs.

I sat in my car, turned the ignition, and powered on my wireless headset. As I drove away, I dialed Dean’s number.

“Hey, bro, it’s early.” Dean’s voice was raspy. Apparently I’d woken him up again.

“Shit. I always forget the time difference. Sorry.”

“No big deal. What’s up?” He yawned into the receiver.

“Chrystle lost the baby yesterday,” I said as my emotions whooshed out from me.

“Oh God, really? I’m so sorry.” I heard him shifting around in his bed. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.”

“So what now?” he asked, the same way he always did when we were kids.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ll get a divorce, right? You’re not going to stay with her now that there’s no baby?” He practically shouted in the phone, causing me to pull mine away from my ear a little.

“I can’t leave her right now, Dean. She’s devastated. She can’t stop crying.”

“So what? She’s a bitch. I’ll fly out today and help you pack.” His voice was serious.

“Even I’m not that heartless,” I commented with a snicker.

“Does Cassie know?” I heard his question and my mind drifted as the trees in the neighborhood rushed past my window.

“No.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Not right now,” I admitted.

“Why not? What is going on with you? Leave Chrystle and come make things right with Cassie!”

“Not yet.”

“What are you waiting for?” He sucked in a gulp of air. “You’re not in love with Chrystle, are you?”

My hands gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white with the force. “Are you fucking crazy? I don’t even know how to love anyone other than Cassie.”

“Just making sure.”

“I’m gonna go. I just wanted to tell you. Can you tell Gran and Gramps, please, and tell Gran I’ll call her soon. Don’t tell Cassie. She shouldn’t hear it from you,” I demanded.

“Fine. But you better tell her soon.”

I arrived at the clubhouse gym to find three of my teammates already working out. Coach sat in his office, the phone in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. I smiled when he placed down his coffee and reached for a donut, shoving part of it in his mouth while he tilted the phone back behind his shoulder. His eyes darted out the window and met mine before his head nodded in time with his moving mouth. He put the phone down, stood up, and wagged his finger. “Carter.”

Anxiety shot through me as I walked into Coach’s office, my stomach dropping.

“I just got off the phone with the head of the organization. You got the call, kid. They’re moving you up for the playoffs. Pack your stuff, grab that wife of yours, and get ready to leave tonight. You start playing with the team tomorrow.”

My feet wouldn’t move and my ass felt like it was super-glued to the chair I was sitting in. “What?” I asked like an idiot and he laughed.

“Get outta here, Carter. Your flight leaves at ten tonight. We’ll messenger the tickets to your house. Congratulations, kid, you’re a hell of a pitcher.”

“Thank you, Coach. Thank you so much.” I stood, my hand shaking as I reached for his.

I throttled the gas, a million thoughts racing through my head, the most prominent one being how badly I wanted to share this moment with Cass. After everything we’d been through, she was still the first person who came to mind when I had news to share. It made me fucking sick to think I wouldn’t be moving her to Arizona with me. When I dreamed of the future, this had always been part of it. Getting to The Show was the foremost thing on my mind. But Cass at my side went hand in hand with that vision.

When I got home, I searched through the house. “Chrys? Chrystle?” I shouted.

“In here.” Her voice drifted in from the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen and caught her eye. “Start packing. We leave for Arizona tonight.” I smiled.

“What? Really?” Her voice radiated with excitement as she threw her tiny arms around me.

Since she was no longer carrying my child, I didn’t move to hug her back.

I’m an asshole.

“A messenger will drop off the tickets and a car will pick us up at eight thirty.”

“What do we do with all our stuff? Just leave it?”

“We’ll come back here when the season ends and pack everything up. But for now, just bring the necessities. I’m not sure how long we’ll be there.”

“This is so exciting! I’m married to a big leaguer.” Her voice rang out in song as she reached for her cell. “I’m going to call my mama.”

“Alright. I’m gonna hop in the shower,” I said as she hummed to herself.

I ran upstairs and turned the shower on, closing the bathroom door behind me as I wished for a moment of solitude. Wished for a moment that Cass was here. Wished I hadn’t fucked things up. Realizing I’d left my cell phone in my gym bag downstairs, I opened the door to ask Chrystle to get it for me. “Chrys?” I scanned the bedroom, but she wasn’t there.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed downstairs when I overheard Chrystle say, “Oh please, Tressa, I’ve got him wrapped around my finger. I’ll have him so guilt-ridden by the time the night is through, he’ll never leave.”

I paused on the stairs, listening with intent as she continued. “I know, right? No, he’s in the shower. Tressa! He doesn’t suspect a thing. And plus, I’ll make him sleep with me until I actually do get pregnant…for real this time.”

My jaw worked as I saw red and my ears started to burn. “He has no idea I made the whole thing up. How could he? What does a guy know about being pregnant? Nothing.”

She laughed and my temper flared. I stormed down the rest of the stairs and into the kitchen, my eyes burning a hole right through her. “Hang up the phone,” I demanded as her face twisted with surprise. “Hang up the goddammed phone. NOW!” I lunged for the device in her hand, but she pulled it away.

“Tressa, I have to go. I’ll call you later. ’Bye.”

“Tell me you didn’t, Chrystle. Tell me you didn’t fucking lie to me about being pregnant.” I vibrated with emotion, my hands balling in and out of fists, and she moved away from me.

She didn’t answer. Instead, she stared at me with her stupid face, and I wished for a brief second that it was socially acceptable to punch a chick. “Who else knows?” She didn’t move. “WHO…ELSE…KNOWS?” I shouted through my rage.

“J…j…ust Tressa and Vanessa,” she stuttered.

“You’re lying!”

“I’m not lying, Jack. I swear. They’re the only ones I told.” Her voice shook with her admission.

I glared at her, my adrenaline pumping like wildfire through my already heated veins. “Why would you do that to me? You ruined my fucking life! You made me lose the only person I’ve ever loved for a lie?!! Why, Chrystle? TELL ME WHY?” I screamed from the other side of the granite island in the kitchen, pounding my fist against the top.

“Because!” she shouted back.

“Because why?”

“Because I just wanted a major league baseball player for a husband! Okay? I wanted to marry a professional athlete. I wanted a rich and famous husband,” she screamed.

“And it didn’t matter that you ruined my life, as long as you got what you wanted?”

“Oh, save it. I didn’t ruin your life, Jack. It’s not like I killed your career or anything.” She rolled her eyes with a huff, any guilt she felt dissipating.

“Get your stuff and get the fuck out. I don’t care where you go, but you can’t stay here.” I pointed toward the front door.

“But you leave for Arizona tonight. At least let me stay while you’re gone.” Her whiny voice sent irritation through me like the sound of nails on a chalkboard.

“No. If you step foot in this house while I’m away, I’ll have you arrested for breaking and entering, right after I file the restraining order against you and annul this sham of a marriage for false pretenses and lying.”

“Whatever, Jack. Good luck getting Cassie back after all this. No one will ever really love you. Your own mom didn’t even stick around.” She hurled the insult and I took it like a ninety-mile-an-hour fastball to the gut.

“I changed my mind. Get out of my house now. I’ll set your things on fire and mail you the ashes.” I grabbed her by the arm, forcefully removing her from the premises before engaging the dead bolt on the door behind her.

“Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!” she screamed as she pounded her fists against the door. For a bitty thing, she could sure make a lot of noise.

“You’re dead to me,” I shouted through the door before turning around and heading upstairs to pack.

TWENTY

CASSIE

We need to talk.

I stared at the text message from Jack for nearly twenty minutes before putting the phone down on my dresser and walking out of my room.

“Melis?” I asked, poking my head through her doorway.

She was sprawled out across her bed reading. “Yeeessssss?” she responded, dropping her electronic reader to her side.

“Jack just sent me a text.”

She adjusted her body to an upright position before crossing her legs Indian style. “Say what? What’d he say? Did you text him back?”

“It just said we need to talk. What do we need to talk about? And why now? Do you think he knows I’m leaving?” My eyes darted around the room, pausing at the various photos of us on the walls.

“It’s possible. I’m sure Dean told him. But why would he need to talk to you about that?” she asked, patting the spot next to her for me to sit down.

“I have no idea.”

“Are you gonna text him back?”

“Should I?”

“Hell yeah, you should. You should be like, ‘What do we need to talk about? I’m all talked out from spilling the entire contents of my heart to you the night before your wedding. I think we’re done talking,’” she finished with a sassy head gyration and my jaw dropped.

“I’m not saying that!” I leaned back into her mountain of fluffy pillows.

“I know. I’m just kidding. Just be super casual and ask him what’s up. Give me your phone, I’ll do it for you.” She reached for me and I fell backward onto the other side of the bed, typing quickly.

What’s up?

“There. Sent.” I pretended like my insides weren’t doing somersaults.

“Now we’ll just wait for his—” Melissa’s voice was drowned out by the sound of Jack’s ringtone. I’d forgotten to change it. I shot her a horrified look before she whispered, “Answer it! Just answer it.”

“Why are you whispering?”

“I don’t know! Answer it!” she screamed.

“Hello?” I answered, scooting my body from her mattress.

“Hey, Kitten.” His familiar voice sent chills racing up and down my spine.

“Hi.” I didn’t protest at the nickname. I was too busy being caught up in the sound of his voice. I never realized how much I’d missed it until it was beaming into my eardrums, the comfortable familiarity forcing nervous energy to ping throughout my insides.

“I have to tell you some stuff,” he started to say and my legs immediately gave out, the words a reminder of the heartache I’d experienced not that long ago.

“What do you possibly have to tell me now, Jack?” I snapped at him, hoping to mask the pain I still carried, as Melissa gave me a thumbs-up of support.

“Chrystle lost the baby.” His voice relayed the unfathomable information and I fell to the floor, my back sliding against the wall in Melissa’s room.

“What?” My breath hitched and a lone tear rolled down my cheek.

“I mean, she didn’t lose the baby. Well, that’s what she told me, but she was really never pregnant. She lied.” He paused to take a breath, then let out a sigh. “About everything.”

“Oh my God, Jack, I’m so sorry. That’s…insane. How’d you find out?”

“I overheard her on the phone telling her best friend how stupid and gullible I was. And that she’d try to get pregnant for real.” His voice lowered.

“That little bitch.” The words escaped my lips as my mind drifted back to the night in the parking lot.

“Cass, I left her. I’m annulling the marriage and I got called up tonight. I leave for Arizona in an hour.” His tone changed and I recognized the joy in his voice.

“Jack.” I smiled, my eyes meeting Melissa’s. “That’s incredible! Congratulations.”

“Thank you. But, Cassie?” He paused. “I’m really sorry. I should have listened to you. I never should have married her.”

“You didn’t know she was lying, Jack. And you were just trying to do the right thing…no matter how misguided. Your heart was in the right place. I was just devastated that it wasn’t with me.”

His breath whooshed over the phone line. “My heart has always been with you. Since the day you first rolled your gorgeous green eyes at me. You’ve always had my heart. I’m the one whose been lost without it.”

His words were everything I wanted to hear and didn’t. We’d come so far from where we once were. So much damage had been done and while I still loved him, I was scared to give my heart to him again…at least not easily. “I’ve had to learn how to live without you.”

“And how’s that working out for you?” he asked with a slight laugh.

“Not that great,” I reluctantly admitted.

“Yeah, it didn’t really work out for me either.”

“It sure seemed to.” I wondered if his words meant what I thought they did.

“I never stopped loving you. I know I hurt you…shit.” He stopped as a loudspeaker echoed in the background. “I have to go. I really want to finish this conversation, okay?”

“Sure,” I answered, knowing that eventually I’d need to tell him I was leaving.

*****

Left tickets for you and Melissa at Will Call. Please come. I really want to see you.

“Are you still staring at that text?” Melissa teased.

I rushed to look away from the screen and into Melissa’s eyes. “Not anymore.” I smiled.

“I feel like I’m having déja vu,” she announced with a sigh.

“Why’s that?” I rolled my eyes.

“Because I’m begging you to come to Jack’s baseball game and you won’t. Cassie, it’s his major league debut! At Dodger Stadium! You have to come to that!” She pleaded with me, her eyes wide.

“No, Melissa, I can’t go to that.” I answered quieter than I intended.

“Postpone your flight! How will you forgive yourself if you miss this?”

“If I go to that game and see him, it will change everything. I’ll want to wait after the game for him, and then we’ll go to dinner, and then I’ll spend the night…and it will never end!” I shouted.

“Our cycle will start back up and before you know it, I’ll have not only missed my flight to New York, but I’ll be turning down a a killer job so I can follow him to Arizona! And then eventually I’ll hate I’lleventuallyhate him because I gave up the one opportunity I was given to follow my dreams, to follow his dreams, which have nothing to do with mine . I’ll leave him and it will be ugly and messy and then I’ll become turn into some old crazy lady with twenty dogs who talks about the days she used to be a good photographer and dated a professional baseball player!!!!!!”

“Holy shit, over-think things much?” Melissa’s laugh echoed throughout the apartment.

I started laughing too and when I couldn’t stop, I started crying. “Going to watch Jack play just reminds me of everything we used to have, the couple we used to be. I can’t watch him and pretend like I don’t want to be with him.”

“Then don’t pretend, Cassie. Be. With. Him.”

“I can’t, Melissa. I have to be with me,” I said, mimicking her tone. “This job is an incredible opportunity and I need to do something for myself. If I go to that game tonight, I won’t want to ever leave him again. And I have to be able to leave him. For me.”

Her eyebrows pinched together as she nodded. “That actually makes a lot of sense. Which sorta pisses me off because I really want you to come.”

“I know. Trust me, I want to be there. I really do. I just know I can’t handle it. That boy could talk me out of buying an umbrella during a hailstorm.”

“I know what you mean. He’s gonna freak out, though. You know this.”

“You don’t always get what you want,” I said matter-of-factly.

“At least Dean will be there so I won’t have to sit alone.”

TWENTY-ONE

JACK

I made the public relations girl at the field show me exactly where the seats were that I’d left for Cassie. When she pointed them out, I shook my head. “Those aren’t gonna work. They’re fine for my family, but I need two seats right here.”

I pointed to the row of seats directly in line with the dugout. “I don’t care if I have to buy them, I’ll buy them. Just get me two seats right here.”

I wanted to be able to see Cassie. I needed to see her.

“I can do that for you. I’ll just check and make sure the seats are available. I’ll be right back.” She flipped her hair with a smile before walking away.

I looked around at the stadium I’d been to so many times as a kid, my pride swelling. I hopped over the short wall and onto the field, turning around to view the seats I’d chosen. I walked to the mound, glancing at the seat choice, before settling into the dugout. The seats were perfect.

“Jack? Jack?” The PR girl’s voice reverberated.

“I’m here,” I said, climbing out of the dugout and onto the field.

“You’re in luck. The seats are available. What name should I put them under?”

“Please put them under Cassie Andrews and Melissa Williams. Thanks for the help, I appreciate it.”

“No problem. That’s what I’m here for.” She batted her lashes before spinning on her heel and walking off.

*****

Ever since my coach in high school reinforced the message of “Keep your head in the game and your eyes outta the stands if you want to get drafted,” I’ve never looked. But tonight, I couldn’t help myself. I glanced at the empty seats to my left at least a hundred times, waiting for her to be there.

Focus, Carter. You’re being ridiculous.

I breathed deeply, looking up at the bright lights of the major league stadium before releasing the breath slowly. I glanced to the left again.

Feet! Black tall girly-shoes!

Noticing the pair of heels, I hustled to the side of the dugout nearest the seats. I glanced to my left, spotted Melissa, and smiled as she turned toward me and waved. I gave her a quick wave back before pointing to the seat next to her with a shrug. She shook her head and my smile dropped, along with my heart. I tried to mouth, “She’s not coming?” Apparently she couldn’t read my lips.

“Carter! Get over here,” the manager yelled and I jerked my head behind me. “Go get warmed up.”

I grabbed a pen and a program, and scribbled out Where is she? before walking up to our teenaged bat boy. “Hey, Cody, do me a favor. See that girl over there with the curly brown hair and the giant pink purse?”

Cody craned his neck. “The one in the Diamondbacks shirt?”

“Yeah. Can you give her this?”

“Sure, Jack.” His face lit up and I only imagined what he thought I was trying to do.

“Make sure you wait for her response and then hold on to it for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Thanks, Cody,” I said, before grabbing my glove and running toward the outfield.

I failed to realize that I’d be spending the majority of the game in the bullpen, which couldn’t be further away from the seats I’d reserved if I tried.

I sprinted into the dugout, looking around for Cody like a madman. “Cody?” I yelled.

“Here, Jack.” He held out the folded program.

She couldn’t come. She said it’s too hard. Jack, she’s leaving tonight for New York! She’s moving there!!

I ran to the far end of the dugout, my face frantic as I caught sight of Dean sitting in the seat I’d bought for Cassie. I whisper-shouted his name and he turned, his eyes wide at the sight of me.

“What time’s her flight?” I shouted, not caring who heard.

Dean turned his head toward Melissa before turning back to mine. “She’s leaving the apartment at ten thirty.”

I glanced around frantically looking for a fucking clock, knowing full well there wasn’t one in the visitor dugout. I leaned over the cold railing and craned my neck toward the scoreboard. The numbers 9:03 splashed across the black board in yellow lights. I released a breath. I still had time.

*****

The sound of my tires squealing into the parking lot caused Cassie to turn in my direction. A cab driver tossed the last of her suitcases into the trunk before slamming it shut.

I hopped out of my car and rushed toward her. “Cassie!” I shouted, not stopping as my hat flew off.

“Jack, what are you doing here? Don’t you have a game?” Her eyes widened.

“It’s done and I drove straight here.” I reached her and grabbed her shoulders with both hands, as if my touch alone would stop her. “So it’s true? You’re really leaving?”

“It’s an incredible opportunity, Jack,” she responded, her voice cold.

“But you’re not even finished with school yet.” I could hear a little whine in my own voice, but hell, I was desperate.

“You weren’t either when you left to pursue your dreams. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll come back and finish. But I don’t have to get my bachelor’s degree to do what I want to do.” Cassie looked so resolute, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Don’t go.”

“What?”

“Don’t go, Kitten. Don’t move across the country,” I pleaded, this scene all too familiar in my head. “I know things are different and maybe I fucked them up so badly that they’re beyond repair. But I want to try. I need to try. I can’t let you walk out of my life without knowing that I did everything in my power to keep you in it.”

“What are you saying, Jack?” Her eyes welled up as she blinked back tears.

“I’m saying that I love you. Nothing in my life is right if you’re not with me. You’re a part of me. And I can’t let that part go. I want to be with you. I know I messed up, and I know you don’t trust me, but I’ll prove to you that you can. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll let me.”

I held my breath as I waited for her to respond.

Her brows drew together as she looked away from me. “I can’t stay here , Jack . I already accepted the job. And I want to go.”

“Then say we’ll work it out. Say we’re back together while we figure things out,” I begged, willing to say anything to not lose her again.

“Long distance doesn’t really work for us,” she admitted, and I cringed.

“It will be different this time. I’ve learned my lesson. I know what’s at stake. I know how much I have to lose. I promise you I’ll never fuck up again.” I reached for her hands, squeezing them as I pleaded. “I know my promises mean nothing to you right now, but I’ll make them mean something again. I’ll give the words meaning.”

I caressed her hands with mine, not wanting to let go.

“Prove it,” she said with a shrug, before sliding She slid into the cab and , locked the door and rolled down the window. “Prove it.” locking the door.

My heart thumped as it battered against my chest. The cab sped away and Cassie’s image in the rear window faded from view.

TWENTY-TWO

CASSIE

I’d spent the last four months falling in love with New York City. I hadn’t heard from Jack at all since the night I left, which not only surprised me, but broke my heart all over again. No matter how many times Dean tried to assure me that Jack was still in love with me and to give him time, his silence proved otherwise to my doubtful heart.

I wasn’t sure what I’d hoped for, exactly. I guess a part of me wanted some sort of grand gesture. I wanted to walk outside one morning and find him waiting there for me, like he’d done that one time when I got out of class. And when I told him to “prove it” the night I left, I honestly thought he would. I just wanted something from Jack. Anything but silence. And when nothing came, I tried my best to move on.

I shuffled out of the jam-packed subway car and moved along with the crowd up the stairs and into the chilled air outdoors. I was still awestruck daily by the sights and the sounds of New York and constantly forced myself to keep walking, when I was dying to drop to my knee to shoot the scenes around me.

The building I worked in was thirty stories tall with rectangular windows spaced three feet apart in all directions. I opened the oversized gold door before shaking off the chill.

“Morning, Craig.” I squeezed the shoulder of our salt-and-pepper-haired security guard.

“Morning, Miss Andrews,” he said with a nod, before pressing the elevator button for me and holding the door open once it arrived.

“Thank you.” I smiled, repeating the same routine we acted out each morning.

I hopped in, pressing the button for the twenty-seventh floor before I heard, “Wait! Hold the doors!”

I threw my arm between the closing doors, forcing them to stop abruptly and stutter back apart. Joey, an adorable brown-haired, blue-eyed copy editor from Boston, hopped inside, his arms full of papers.

“Thanks! Oh…morning, Cassie.” He glanced over his shoulder at me, and I looked away, embarrassed. He’d asked me out a few times since I moved here, but the truth was, I wasn’t ready to date. After everything I’d been through with Jack, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready again.

“Morning, Joey. Can I help?” I asked, reaching for the papers that threatened to fall.

“Thank you.” Half his mouth twisted upward into a smirk. “So, what you’d do last night?” he asked with his cute Boston accent.

“Uh, I worked until a little after eight. Then I grabbed some amazing Italian food on the way home from this tiny café, and that’s about it.”

“Where do you live again?” He asks me this every time we talk. I haven’t figured out why, but he does.

“Lower East Side, not far from here.”

“What street?”

“Clinton,” I responded as the elevator announced our arrival.

The doors opened and the sounds of rushed voices filled the air. The floor was packed with wall-to-wall cubicles spilling over with the previous day’s work. Privacy was not something one could find in this office. I secretly loved the chaos and the constant rushing around.

“So, do you like it?” he asked, watching my eyes. “Living in the lower east?”

“Oh, I do. Most of my neighbors are young and super artsy so it’s kind of inspiring and annoying all at the same time.” I laughed as I followed him to his cubicle.

“We should grab dinner sometime.” I started to turn him down as he held up a hand in the air to stop me. “It doesn’t have to be a date. Just friends sharing a meal together. I don’t think you get out of your Clinton Street apartment enough.”

He smiled and I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“Think it over. Just friends, no pressure.” He leaned in close and I could smell his cologne as he grabbed the papers from my arms. “Thanks.”

“I’ll see you later, Joey,” I answered, feeling a little flustered as I rushed across the hardwood floor.

“Think it over!” he shouted, although no one else seemed to notice in all the chaos.

I quickened my pace, my cheeks burning as I scurried past the wall-mounted antique mirror. I slid into my cubicle, pushing the button on my computer as the screen flickered to life. I scrolled past the spam that always seem to get through the e-mail filters and landed on Melissa’s name. She’d gotten into the habit of sending e-mails to my work address so that I would have something to read from her first thing in the morning. And in return, I had to write back, no matter what, so that she’d have something from me when she woke up.

Hooker,

Do you think your IT guy reads my e-mails? Because if I was an IT guy, I would totally read my e-mails. Maybe he would if he knew how hot I was. I should probably attach a picture. LOL

So, tell me more about this Joey kid. Is he hot? Where’s he from? What’s his deal? Are you gonna go out with him, or what? What is it with you and making guys beg? You’re really sort of a bitch, Cassie Andrews. JK, LOL, smiley face (say it super fast like this.) JKLOLSMILEYFACE

Ooooh, I think Dean has a crush on this really cute freshman, so make sure you give him shit the next time you talk to him, K? K. I’m not going to ask about “him” this time, so don’t freak out. But hey, if he does call or text or anything, I’d better be the first person to hear about it! Just sayin’! :)

I’d better go. I know this was like the most boring e-mail ever, but what can I say? Life is sorta boring without you. I miss you.

Date: 2015-01-29; view: 602