THANK YOU 6 page

I tried so hard to be strong when it came to him, but even his text messages challenged me. I knew I’d jumped to conclusions about the pictures, but I refused to look like a fool. And in my opinion, only a fool would carry on like nothing had happened. Simply put, I didn’t want to be that kind of girl. The kind of girl that needed Jack in her life so badly, she’d overlook potential relationship-ruining material.

But in trying so hard to be unlike all the other girls, I made myself irrational, declaring Jack guilty before viewing the facts of the case. I clung to my principles with both hands so tightly it was the only way I got through the next day and a half Jack-free.

That, and the fact that I’d turned my phone off.

NINE

Panic set in when I realized that Jack would be arriving home soon. I hadn’t communicated with him in any form since the text messages two days ago. I half wondered if I should leave the apartment. But where would I go? I couldn’t hide from him forever. The sooner we had this conversation, the better it would be for everyone involved.

I paced back and forth in my bedroom, my thoughts all over the place. It was easier to be the tough girl when Jack was in another state and I could simply shut him off with the press of a button on my cell phone.

Nerves shot through my unsettled stomach as I curled up on my bed and waited. Finally, tires squealed outside and I peered out my window just in time to see Jack come to a screeching halt in one of the parking spots. He appeared to be shouting at poor Dean in the passenger seat before he bolted out of the car and sprinted out of sight.

Within seconds, his knuckles knocked wildly against the front door. “Cassie!” He banged relentlessly as he yelled through the door. “Cassie! Please, Cassie, open up. It’s not what you think.” So much for Dean not saying anything.

My stomach rolled when the door finally creaked open and I heard him ask, “Melissa, where is she?”

“Kitten? I’m coming in,” he announced from behind my closed bedroom door. When he walked in, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. His hair was wild and wind-whipped from the quick drive over from the stadium and he was still in his dress clothes from the airport, although his tie was loosened and barely hanging on.

He ran to the side of my bed, dropped to his knees, and reached out for me. I pulled back before he could touch me, my eyes focused on his as he spoke. “Kitten, it’s not what you think. That girl wasn’t in my room for me.”

I refused to move, unwilling to be deceived. “Did you hear me? She wasn’t there for me. I roomed with Brett and he met her our first night. He invited her up to our room, but she wasn’t there for me. I just answered the door.”

“Where’d the picture come from then?” I wondered, the question suddenly dawning on me.

“She came upstairs with a bunch of other girls, but I wouldn’t let them in. One of them must have taken it.”

“Really?” I asked, my voice filled with more hope than I’d anticipated.

“I swear it.” He reached out again for my hands and I allowed his fingers to intertwine with mine. He brought my hand to his lips and he kissed it all over.

“So you weren’t with her?” I asked once more, even though I already believed him.

“No. I don’t even like brunettes anymore. I’m into this one particular shade of blonde.” He gave me a tentative, lopsided smile, and ran his fingers through my hair. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

I practically jumped out of my bed and into his waiting arms. He pressed me tightly against his chest before he tipped my head back and covered my mouth with his. “I missed you,” he said between kisses. His tongue parted my lips as I melted into him, the self-imposed stress from the weekend falling from my shoulders.

He pulled away before I was ready and asked, “So, tell me exactly what happened.”

I collapsed onto my bed, pulling him with me. “Some random chick came up to me on Friday and showed me two pictures of you with this girl going into your hotel room. I pretty much lost it after that.”

“And you just assumed the girl was with me?” He looked down, picking restlessly at my bedspread, his voice tinged with sadness.

“You two were the only ones in the photos, so yeah, pretty much.” I shuddered, recalling the pictures in my mind.

“That’s not fair, Kitten,” he remarked, his eyebrows pinched together.

“I know it’s not.” I looked away from him, embarrassed at my ability to write him off so quickly.

“You have to remember that I’ve been playing ball here for three years now. I have friends in all the places we travel. And sometimes they come up to my room to hang out. I always share a room with at least one other guy. You can’t assume that I’m doing something wrong all the time.”

“But what was I supposed to think?” I couldn’t help but defend my initial reaction and thoughts. “I saw a girl walking into a room that you were holding the door open for. Then I saw you closing the door behind her, with the world’s biggest smile on your face.”

“Fuck, Cassie, how about asking me?” His tone changed, anger quickly replacing sadness. “Is that why you never called me? Because you thought I cheated on you the second I left town?” He lowered his voice, the angry tone still present. “We had sex.”

“I’m not the first girl you’ve had sex with, Jack.”

“No. But you are the first girl I’ve ever loved.”

“I just couldn’t have that conversation with you over the phone,” I admitted, guilt careening through my body.

“So instead you had no conversation with me at all?” He eased off the bed and walked across the floor. “Do you know how crazy that made me? I’m trying to concentrate on my fucking fucking ball baseball game and all I can think about is why the hell the girl I’m in love with is ignoring me. I knew something was wrong when you never called. I tried to shake it off, but I couldn’t. You can’t do that to me. Don’t you understand? You can’t fucking do that to me when I’m trying to play ball!”

“I’m sorry, Jack. I didn’t think…”

“This is bullshit, Cassie!” he shouted, his jaw tense. “I haven’t done anything to make you not trust me.” His eyes widened as the realization set in. “But that’s it, isn’t it?” He nodded his head in understanding, then turned his hurt gaze to me. “You don’t…trust me.”

I avoided his eyes, the truth in his words resonating deep within me. “Look at me!” His voice rose along with his anger.

I did as he demanded, grateful for the tears blurring my view of him. “What do you want from me, Jack?” My voice cracked with emotion.

“I want you to give me a fair shot, but apparently that’s too much to ask.” He turned his back to me and threw open my bedroom door. I heard the front door slam shut as I sat stunned in my bed.

“What just happened?” Melissa poked her head through my doorway.

“I think I just royally fucked things up.” I exhaled and wiped a tear from my eye. “Hand me my phone, please?” I practically begged, pointing to its location on the bathroom counter.

Melissa snagged my phone and tossed it to me. “You wanna talk about it?”

“In a minute. Thanks.” I tried to smile but couldn’t. Melissa nodded in understanding and closed my door behind her to give me some privacy.

I scrolled through my contacts searching for Jack’s name and pressed Send. I listened as it rang twice before going straight to voice mail. He was ignoring me. I swallowed my pride and waited patiently for the beep that acknowledged his voice mail recording, but hung up instead. I had no idea what I wanted to say to him that wouldn’t sound pathetic or stupid.

How had things twisted into tangled-up knots so easily? I walked into Melissa’s room and found her reading a book on her bed. I cuddled up next to her and worked through the emotions churning inside of me.

“You were right about Jack,” I started.

She dropped the book to her side and turned to me. “About what?”

“He said the girl wasn’t there for him.”

“Who was she there for then?”

“Jack roomed with Brett and apparently Brett met her and invited her up.” I let out a long sigh.

“Do you believe him?” She leaned her curly brown head against mine.

“I do.”

“So then why’d he leave?”

“He got pissed that I didn’t trust him.” I shook my head at the absurdity of the situation. “I feel like a crazy person right now. I mean, one second I’m overwhelmed with relief that the girl wasn’t there for him. I’m looking at Jack, realizing how much I care about him. And in the next, I’m feeling horrible and guilty for not trusting him. Now he’s gone and I’m scared to death that I just screwed it all up.”

I forced my eyes closed as I inhaled through my nose. “What if I lose him?” My face twisted in pain.

“You won’t.” Melissa’s voice was stern with certainty.

“How can you be so sure?” I asked, unable to hide the fear in my voice.

“Because Jack’s just as stubborn as you are! He’s not going to quit on you that easily. But he is right, you know. You don’t trust him. And that’s not fair.” She stroked my hair as she spoke.

I breathed in deeply again. “I know, but it’s hard. I mean, I saw those pictures and was so embarrassed. I felt like such an idiot. Like those girls knew something I didn’t about my own relationship.”

“Trust me, I know how you felt. But you never once questioned that maybe he didn’t do it, right?”

“Not really,” I confessed.

“I’d be pissed off too.”

The sound of the front door swinging open stopped our conversation. Footsteps beat against the floor toward my bedroom before stopping. “Cassie!” Jack’s voice echoed throughout the apartment.

“I’m in Melissa’s room,” I nervously squeaked out.

Jack appeared and leaned against the doorway, his dressy attire now replaced with black shorts and a tight-fitting baseball t-shirt. He buried his hands in his pockets before demanding, “Get up. I want to talk to you.”

Fear shot through me as I struggled to move from Melissa’s bed. She helped push me to my feet and I eyed her nervously.

“It’ll be fine. Go. Apologize,” she whispered before giving my backside a light shove.

I stumbled over my flimsy flip-flops before regaining my balance, my eyes searching Jack’s for any sign of happiness, but failing. I followed his lead into my bedroom where he slammed the door shut behind me.

“Sit.” He pointed at my bed and I did as he requested.

He didn’t join me. Instead, he stood in front of me, eyeing me before speaking. “Let me finish before you say anything. Okay?”

I couldn’t seem to find my voice, so I simply nodded.

“I want to be really pissed off at you right now. No, forget that, I am really pissed off at you.” He stopped talking, took a deep breath, and ran his tanned fingers through loose strands of his black hair. “Listen, I know we’re both fucked up. We both have trust issues and this thing happening between us is scary as hell.” He wagged his finger, his eyes avoiding mine.

“But when I told you I loved you, I meant it. I didn’t mean that I’d love you only if it was easy, or only if it was drama-free. I think we both know life isn’t like that.” I watched his face twisting with emotion as my eyes began to fill with tears.

“I know it’s not easy to be with me. Dating me means that you have to deal with some pretty crazy shit that other people don’t and I’m sorry for that. All the things you’re just now being exposed to, I’ve had years to deal with. I’m used to it…the crazy pictures, the girls, the fan pages, the blogs, the reporters, the scouts, all the social media stuff.”

He shrugged his shoulders as his eyes met mine. “And I know that the past version of me is someone you would never trust. But who I am when I’m with you” he paused, “isn’t who I used to be. I don’t think I’ve been that guy since the night of our first date, so it’s not fair that you judge me like I’m still him.”

He settled his body next to mine on the edge of the bed. “If we’re going to do this, then you have to trust me. And you can’t shut me out or ignore me when things get uncomfortable.”

It felt like hours of silence passed before I asked, “Can I talk now?”

He laughed. “Yeah.”

“I’m really sorry, Jack. I know you haven’t done anything to deserve my mistrust, but it’s just that I saw those pictures and I felt so stupid. I’d just told you not to make me look dumb or embarrass me, and I felt like that’s exactly what you did. I went into self-preservation mode where nothing else mattered but me.” I tried to explain my craziness in a way I hoped he’d understand. That basically, he was dating someone with serious trust issues.

His arm swept around my back and pulled me toward him. I allowed a few teardrops to fall before wiping them away. “You make me fucking crazy, but I love you.” He pressed his warm lips against my temple.

“So you’re not breaking up with me?” I asked with a pout.

“You’re not that lucky.”

TEN

JACK

“Kitten, come on, we’re gonna be late!” I shouted toward Cassie’s bathroom in between paces.

“I’m coming, hold on!” I heard the sound of clanking against the countertop and feet shuffling.

“Okay, I’m ready,” she announced as she entered the living room.

My jaw dropped at the sight of her tanned legs in that little white sundress. I scanned every inch of her body, my eyes loving each curve. I shook my head and smiled. She seriously looked like a fucking angel. And I wanted to be her devil.

“Kitten, you’re gonna give Gramps a heart attack looking like that.”

Melissa’s laughter echoed from her bedroom. “Please don’t kill Jack’s grandpa, Cass. Not a good first impression.”

Cassie giggled in response. “I’ll do my best.” Her bright green eyes focused on mine. “See you later.”

I stuffed my cell phone into my pocket before reaching for Cassie’s hand. She locked her fingers in mine as I led her toward the door. “See you later, Melissa,” I shouted toward her bedroom.

“Bye, you guys. Have fun!”

I ushered Cassie outside with a light slap to her ass and when she turned to smack me, she stopped and simply smiled instead. God, I loved this girl.

“You look beautiful,” I said, running my fingers through the soft golden waves in her hair.

“Thank you.” She smiled and hesitated at the side of my car before I helped her up and inside.

I glanced over at the girl to my right and noticed her fidgeting with her hair. Shit. She’d actually curled it and I was going to fuck mess it all up on the drive. I should have borrowed Gran’s Honda.

“Here.” I tossed my baseball cap into her lap.

“What’s this for?”

“Just put it on. It’ll help keep your hair in place.” I shot her a half smile. “It’s better than no hat, right?”

She shrugged her shoulders, saying, “I guess we’ll find out,” and placed the hat on top of her head. She laughed as it fell all the way down, covering her eyes. “You have a huge head!”

I leaned toward her, grabbing the bill of the hat between my fingers and pulled her close. “No. You have a small head.” I ducked under the hat and planted my lips firmly against hers as she giggled. God, she smelled good.

The engine screamed to life as I turned the key in the ignition. “Ready for this?”

“I’m ready,” she answered with a nod and I took off, the wind whipping through my hair.

“So, have you ever brought a girl home before?” Her voice cut through the sound of the air and the roar of the engine.

I glanced at her before laughing. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No.” She shrugged.

“Cassie.” I eyed her before shaking my head. “I’ve never even slept with the same girl twice.”

“So? That doesn’t mean you haven’t brought some random girl home before.” She sighed.

I placed my right hand on her knee and caressed her bare skin with my fingers. “You’re the first. And the last,” I informed her, my expression serious.

She smiled and her whole face lit up. Or maybe it was mine. All I know for certain is that smile lit up even my darkest days.

We drove for ten minutes before I pulled the car directly in front of my grandparents’ blue and white one-story house. Gran’s yard was meticulous, with manicured bushes lining the front of the house.

“It’s so cute,” she said, removing my hat and fussing with the tangled strands of her hair.

I smirked in her direction. “Your hair looks perfect, Kitten. Come on.” I grabbed the hat she discarded and pulled it on my head, tucking my hair underneath.

I opened the car door and helped her down, my hands resting on her hips and ass. “I think you’re trying to kill me in that dress.”

“I’m glad you like it,” she teased, her eyebrows raised.

“I’ll like you better out of it,” I whispered against her neck.

“Jack! Stop it.” She smacked my arm and I laughed.

We interlocked our fingers and I led her toward the blue double front doors. One of them shot open and Dean appeared, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s about time,” he chastised before pulling Cassie against him in a tight bear hug.

“I will hurt you. Get off her.” I playfully shoved him away from her.

Cassie laughed at our horseplay, then lifted her chin, sniffing at the air. “It smells incredible in here.”

“It’s Gran’s homemade sauce,” Dean said with a smile.

“Welcome home.” I beamed, watching as she looked around at all our things.

“Look at all these old pics of you two. You were so cute,” she said, pointing at an elementary school photo framed on the wall.

“We’re still cute.” I led her across the aging beige carpet toward the entryway to the kitchen.

We walked through and I immediately spotted Gran leaning over the stove, her graying brown hair pinned tightly back in a bun. Gramps sat at the round dinner table, reading the newspaper. He looked up when he heard our footsteps, his glasses resting on the tip of his nose like always.

“Oh, Ma, they’re here!” Gramps sounded excited. He rose from his chair and walked straight toward Cassie with open arms.

“You must be Cassie. It’s so nice to finally meet you.” He squeezed her hard against his chest.

I laughed as I headed over to Gran. “Gran, this is my girl, Cassie.”

Gran wiped her hands on her apron as Cassie grinned and pulled herself from Gramps’ hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Cassie. We’ve heard so much about you.” Her eyes crinkled in the corners as she grinned, a hint of dimples like mine appearing on her creased cheeks.

“It’s so nice to meet you both. Thanks for having me,” Cassie replied with a warm smile. “Can I help?” She directed the question toward Gran.

“Oh heavens no, dear. I’m almost finished. Go sit down and make yourself comfortable. Jack, you get her whatever she needs, you hear me?” Gran’s voice took on the tone she only used with Dean and me.

“Yes, Gran, of course.” I leaned toward her and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“Do you need anything, Kitten?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

Gramps pulled out the empty chair next to him and patted it. “Come sit down next to me, Cassie. Or do I get to call you Kitten too?” he asked with a wink.

Dean laughed out loud. “I think we should all start calling her Kitten.”

I shot Dean a murderous look, not at all amused. “Only I get to call her Kitten. You’d be wise to remember that.”

“Jack, stop threatening your brother,” Gran remarked while waving the steam away from her face.

“Yes, Gran.” I gave Dean a hard kick under the table.

Gramps leaned on his elbow and tilted his head. “So, Cassie, Jack tells us that you’re a photographer.”

She glanced at me, grinning before looking back at Gramps. “Well, that’s what I’m studying right now. I’d like to start my own business as soon as I graduate.”

Gramps slapped his hand against the table. “Well, that’s just great! Isn’t that great, dear?”

“That is great. What kind of photography?” Gran asked.

“Ideally, I’d like to work for a magazine that focuses on travel and human interest stories. I’d get to travel around the country and meet all sorts of incredible people with amazing stories.” Cassie started to explain slowly and loud enough for everyone to hear. It didn’t escape me the way her green eyes lit up when she talked about her craft.

“Ooooh, that sounds exciting.” Gran squeezed her shoulders up to her ears.

“Now, what would you do for them? What kind of pictures would you take?” Gramps asked as he reached for his glass of water.

“I think I’d either get assigned with the journalist writing the piece, or I’d go by myself to shoot whatever the focus of the article was about. It could be anything from a new hotel opening and its impact on a struggling city, to a town’s comeback after almost being destroyed in a natural disaster. But the overall theme is positive and uplifting.”

She paused before looking at me, her eyes wide. “There’s an internship that I’m going to apply for this summer. Apparently one of the New York-based magazines has an LA office and my professor mentioned it to me today. He said he’d write me a letter of recommendation, so you never know.”

I gave her a big smile. “Can’t win if you don’t play, Kitten. They’d be idiots not to hire you.”

“Thanks, baby.”

“You should see her stuff, Gramps. She’s really good,” I added, pride shooting through my body.

“She is,” Dean agreed. “But I have a question. The stuff you take pictures of is so creative. I mean, your angles and what you put in your shots… Gramps, she has this one picture of Jack on the mound. You can’t see his whole body or even his face. It’s the coolest shot! Will you get to take pictures like that for a magazine?”

“First of all, thank you. It’s sweet of you to say that about my photos and I appreciate it.” Cassie smiled. “I guess it totally depends on the magazine and their style. But the ones I’d love to work for have very beautifully creative photos and I think they give the photographer a lot of control with their shots.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“That sounds perfect for you. Your photography is way too beautiful to be defined by someone else’s standards. If it doesn’t work out, you can always go into sports photography and follow your boyfriend around the country,” I suggested helpfully.

“So, I’d just wake up and take pictures of you all day?”

I let out a slight chuckle. “Sounds like a dream job to me.”

“Oh, Lord.” Gran sighed. “Forgive me, Cassie, I did the best I could with him.”

She laughed. “It’s okay, Gran, he’s perfect just the way he is.” Her eyes wandered back to mine as her lips curved in a slight smile.

“Jack, Dean, come help me serve, will you?” Gran asked.

Dean and I jumped up from the table and returned carrying steaming dishes filled with Italian food. The smell of freshly baked bread mixed with garlic tomatoes filtered into the air and my mouth started to salivate.

“Dig in, please. Cassie first,” Gramps insisted.

Cassie reached for the bowl of spaghetti and dished out a huge helping before grabbing two piping hot pieces of fresh bread and tossing them onto her plate. Her eyes widened once she added salad, and I gently placed my hand on her upper thigh and squeezed.

“Get enough, Kitten?” I teased.

“I think I got excited in my serving sizes,” she admitted, the hue of embarrassment rising in her cheeks.

“Don’t worry about it. Just eat what you can.”

“This all looks incredible, Gran. Thank you so much,” she said sincerely, before digging in.

“You’re welcome, dear. Thank you for coming.”

“Now, Jack, we need to talk about the draft,” Gramps mentioned between sloppy, sauce-filled bites.

“What about it?”

“Well, for starters, who all will be here on draft day besides the reporters from that TV channel?” Gramps swirled some spaghetti around his fork.

Cassie looked at me, clearly interested in the conversation we’d yet to have. I swallowed my food before speaking. “You and Gran, of course. Dean, you’ll be here, right?”

Dean nodded and I turned to face Cassie. “And Cass, I’d like you here too.”

“Wait. Here for what? I’m sort of lost right now.”

“The major league draft. They think I’ll go within the first couple of rounds so it will be televised on ESPN.”

“Really?” she asked with surprise.

“Really.” I mimicked her tone and she glared at me.

“That’s crazy.”

“You’ll come though, right?” I reached under the table again and connected with her thigh, moving her dress up slightly with my fingertips.

“Of course I’ll…come,” she sputtered before swatting my hand away.

“Great. So, Gramps, it’s you and Gran. Dean and Kitten. And of course, my agents, Marc and Ryan.”

“You have agents already?” Her face scrunched up as she winced noticeably.

“Not officially. I can’t sign with them until I get drafted, but we have a verbal agreement.”

“And how many do you have? Don’t most people only have one?”

“One’s an agent and the other’s a lawyer. But they work together and it stops me having to hire a lawyer separately,” I explained.

“Oh. We really need to talk more about all this baseball stuff. I feel like I don’t know anything that’s happening.” She bit her bottom lip and I saw the unease on her face; she looked so overwhelmed. I’d do anything to take that feeling away from her. I didn’t just want her by my side through this process, I needed her there.

“Sorry, Kitten, we’ve had other stuff going on. And this is all pretty recent. I was going to tell you about it.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m not mad or anything. I’m really excited for you, but the whole TV thing is a little overwhelming.”

“It only happens if you’re getting drafted really high. They don’t send camera crews to everyone’s house,” Dean said, and I couldn’t read her expression any longer, her face blank.

“Oh. When is it, anyway?”

“The first Monday in June,” Dean answered before I had the chance.

“And then when do you leave?” Cassie asked softly, her green eyes searching mine for answers I didn’t have yet.

“I don’t know for sure, but I think right after,” I answered, my chest suddenly feeling like it weighed a thousand pounds.

“Like that day?” she asked, as her eyes started to get that shiny look.

“No. But within a week, I think.” Her face twisted at my words.

She was upset. Of course she was upset. I hadn’t told her any of this and now it was all being sprung on her without any warning. I could be such an idiot sometimes.

“So what’s the plan, Jack? What do your agents think is going to happen?” Gran asked from across the table.

“They think I’ll go within the first round and that should come with a solid signing bonus. If we like the deal, then we accept it and I’ll have to move to wherever their Single-A farm team is.”

“What’s a signing bonus?” Cassie asked, her forehead creasing.

“A signing bonus is exactly what it sounds like. It’s money used as an incentive to get the player to sign with the team instead of returning to school for another year. The minor league pay scale is barely enough to live off of each month. That’s why the signing bonus is so important. But not every player gets it.” I tried to clarify without confusing her.

“So not everyone gets a signing bonus, but you will because you’ll get drafted in the first round?” she asked, her voice stumbling a bit.

“Exactly.”

“How many rounds are there?”

“In the draft? About forty.”

“Holy shit, and they think you’ll go in the first?” Her eyes widened as I stifled a laugh. “I’m sorry,” she said before clasping her hand over her mouth, her face embarrassed.

“We’ve heard far worse,” Gramps said with a laugh.

“What happens to those guys who don’t get a signing bonus?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you said they can barely live off of the money they make without a bonus.”

“No one plays this game for the money, Kitten. We play it because we love it so much that the thought of being without it causes unbearable pain. It’s a game that one day ends for every single person who plays it, but we all want to put off that ending as long as possible.” I took a quick breath. “When you only dream of doing one thing for the majority of your life, it’s almost unfathomable to think about doing anything else. You don’t know how. It’s all you’ve ever wanted and you’ll not only fight like hell to get there, you’ll fight like hell to stay.”

“I love how much you love it,” she said, her eyes beaming.

“I wouldn’t play it if I didn’t,” I admitted, grinning at her.

“Do Marc and Ryan have any idea what team is going to try to draft you?” Dean asked while ripping apart a piece of bread.

“If they do, they haven’t told me.”

“So you have no idea where you’ll be going?” He chewed thoughtfully while he waited for my answer.

“Not yet.” I smiled.

“The teams are all over the country, right?” Cassie asked, her expression a mixture of excitement and concern.

Date: 2015-01-29; view: 532