THANK YOU 4 page

I wasn’t sure what to say. I honestly wasn’t sure how I felt. I’d never met anyone who had lost both of their parents except to death. I couldn’t imagine living with that knowledge, or feeling somewhat responsible for it happening.

“When did you start playing baseball?”

His eyes lit up. “My grandparents signed us up for every sport imaginable when we moved in. They thought it would help.” A slight chuckle escaped from his lips, his mouth curving upward. “I don’t remember, but my grandma said I would cry whenever the season ended.”

I laughed, imagining the scene in my mind. “That’s cute. You loved it even then.”

He released a breath. “Being on that pitcher’s mound, it’s the one thing I’m really good at. The one thing I haven’t fucked up. And when I’m on the field, everything else fades away. You know?” He turned to look at me, his eyes craving understanding.

I smiled and he continued. “It’s like my mind is clear when I’m out there. It’s not about my mom or my dad or the stupid shit I’ve done. It’s about me, the ball, and the batter. It’s the one place in the world where I feel like I’m in control. Like I have a say in what happens around me.”

I stopped my head from nodding in agreement once I realized that I was doing it. “I feel that way when I’m taking pictures. Anything that I’m not seeing through my lens fades away in the background. And I get to frame my picture any way I choose. I get to dictate how it looks. What’s in it. What isn’t. Behind that lens I have complete control in how things are seen.”

He smiled, his dimples indenting his cheeks. “You get it.”

“I like this side of you,” I said, genuinely meaning it.

He crossed his arms across his chest. “Don’t get used to it.”

I jerked back at his suddenly defensive tone. “Way to ruin a perfectly good moment with your craptitude.”

“Craptitude?” he mocked.

“Yeah. Your crappy attitude.” I pulled my seat upright and reached for the door handle again.

“ Fuck Shit . I’m sorry, Kitten. Don’t hate me. I just really suck at this.” His hand gripped my shoulder, pulling me back toward him.

“Suck at what?”

“This.” His finger wagged between my face and his.

“What? Having a serious conversation? I know, it’s really hard.” It was all I could do not to roll my eyes.

“I don’t really have serious conversations with girls,” he admitted reluctantly.

“That’s seriously pathetic, Jack.”

“If I haven’t conveyed to you by now that I have a hard time trusting people—” he started to explain before I cut him off.

“I know you do. And you have every right. But you have to start somewhere.” He breathed loudly and I finished, “Sooner or later you have to let people in.”

And by “people,” I really meant me.

Shit.

He leaned toward me and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my face. “I know,” he murmured, closing the small space between us even further.

He cupped my cheek in the palm of his hand and looked into my eyes. “I’m going to kiss you.” My heart hammered inside my chest as thoughts of stopping him raced through my mind.

“This doesn’t change anything,” I stammered, my defenses fading.

“It changes everything.” He sounded so sure of himself as his soft lips silenced my weak protest.

My eyes closed and I lost myself in the warmth of his kiss. His cinnamon-flavored tongue gently parted my lips as I allowed him to explore my mouth. He was gentle, the flicker of his tongue soft and slow, causing my heart to expand. His fingers tangled tenderly in the back of my hair, tugging lightly. I lifted my hand to the side of his face, my thumb tracing the lines of his cheek down to his chin before gripping the back of his neck and pulling him closer.

My mouth was frantic, all sense of composure lost somewhere in the taste of him. He pulled away, our mouths parting with one final, closed-mouth peck.

“It changes everything,” he repeated, still cupping my face in his hand.

“Prove it.”

SIX

JACK

Prove it were the two words she said to me before hopping out of my car and running through her apartment door that night. She didn’t trust people either. Or more to the point, she didn’t trust me. Cassie Andrews didn’t need rescuing, but I still wanted to save her.

She wanted me to prove that she was different from all the other girls I’d been with. Apparently she didn’t realize she already was. I asked her out on a date and I never ask girls out. Hooking up at a party or a club was one thing. That’s easy. I can do anything with a beer in my hand, or an audience watching.

But asking Cassie out in the daylight, dead sober, with no one around…that was something I’d never done before. She made me nervous as hell. I knew she wasn’t like other girls the moment I saw the disgusted look on her face after I called her “Kitten.” Most girls would have creamed their pants if I called them that. But not Cassie. She looked like she wanted to punch me in the jaw.

And I’ve wanted to kiss her ever since.

The first order of business in my prove-to-Cassie-I’m-serious agenda consisted of ditching my usual table filled with random fan-girls to sit with her in the student union. I figured that giving her priority attention in public showed my intent. The whispers and comments were brutal that first month with my teammates bagging on me every chance they got. Not to mention the relentless advances from what appeared to be every female on campus under the age of thirty.

I never realized how exhausting it was to turn women away. It was one thing to hook up with them and then call it a day, but to be off the market completely was something I’d never dealt with before. To put it simply, girls don’t like being rejected, especially if it’s because of another girl.

But no one knew what it was like to be me. I’d finally met a girl who didn’t try to impress me. She didn’t care about what I did as an athlete; she cared about what I did as a person. I was jumping into this thing with both feet. Holding on to Cassie with both arms.

Number two on my list consisted of spending as much time with her outside of school as possible. I made myself a regular at the apartment she shared with Melissa, where Cassie and I had become masters at making out.

I never knew you could spend hours just kissing a girl. I never knew because I’d never done it before. In the last month, I’d learned just how erotic kissing could be. Many nights I’d left her place unsatisfied sexually, but completely content emotionally.

I sound like a fucking chick. I want to go drink a beer and punch something.

That’s better.

With enough food on my tray to feed an army, I passed a group of panting girls in the student union on my way toward Cassie. A sorority chick named Andrea stopped me with a hand on my arm. I moved away from her touch, scowling at her hand. “What?” I asked sharply, uninterested in whatever was about to spill from her lips.

“Our sorority formal is coming up, Jack.” She paused, her eyelashes batting at a ridiculous pace. “And I thought you could come with?”

“No.” The huge smile fell from her face.

“Why not? Is it because of her?” She sneered in Cassie’s direction.

“None of your business, Andrea. And if you ever refer to my girlfriend like that again, I’ll find someone to teach you a little respect.”

She huffed at me, all offended, and I walked away, noticing Melissa laughing in my direction.

“You girls are a species all your own.” I shook my head in disbelief as I nudged my tray against Cassie’s.

She glanced around at the girls whispering and watching us. “Tell me about it.”

“It’s been a month, ladies. Time to get over it already.” Melissa waved her hand into the air, her voice raised.

“Sorry to put you in the spotlight, Kitten.” I knew she hated it when I called her that, but I couldn’t help it. I liked it. I tossed my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me, my thumb caressing her soft skin. Her hair tickled my neck as it fell around my back and I wished I could hold on to her forever. I kissed the top of her head before letting her go, her green eyes forming half moons as she smiled.

“I guess it comes with the territory.” She looked at me, her cheeks tinged with pink.

“The territory of being Jack freaking Carter’s girlfriend,” Melissa added with a laugh.

“Glad you’re on board with this, Melis.” I smiled, encouraged by her attitude.

“Jack, you’re still an asshole but you’ve grown on me. And if you hurt Cassie, I’ll break your pitching arm. Capisce?”

“Capisce,” I responded, purely to humor Cassie’s fun-sized best friend.

I leaned into my girl, the smell of her shampoo engulfing my senses. “You know I’d never hurt you on purpose.”

Cassie immediately turned to face me, her eyebrows pinched together. “That’s not really reassuring. You know that, right?”

“I’m just being realistic. Don’t want to make you promises I can’t keep,” I added, hinting at rule number three of her boy test.

“So you can’t promise that you won’t hurt me?” Her tone was annoyed and I instantly wished I could take back my words.

“Cass, I don’t ever want to hurt you, but I can’t promise you that I’ll never screw up or make you mad.” I paused, trying to make the thoughts in my head come out right.

“He’s good at pissing people off. Isn’t that right, big brother?” I looked up to see Dean smirking at me, and took a half-hearted swipe at him as he sat down next to me.

“That’s the rumor.” I nodded with a smile.

“Plus, if he pushes you away, then you won’t be the one who left him. He’ll be the one who made you leave,” Dean added defiantly.

I glared at my little brother for his openness in such a public space. I glanced around, making sure no one was too close to overhear.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Cassie put her hand on top of mine and squeezed. “So don’t try to make me.”

Relief coursed through my body with her reassurance. I had spent so much of my life convinced that no girl would ever want to be with the real me, that I’d never given anyone a chance to prove me wrong. If my own mom didn’t love me enough to stay, how would anyone else?

“Jesus, I’ve never met two people more scared to let someone love them than the two of you,” Melissa remarked with a frown.

I opened my mouth to protest when she continued, her ponytail bobbing from side to side as she moved her head. “And don’t even try to deny it. You’re both all messed up from your stupid parents. Cassie here,” she lifted her hand in Cassie’s direction, “with her dad’s constant lies and inability to follow through on even the simplest, most mundane thing, has been disappointed and let down most of her life.”

Her hand pointed in my direction. “And you, with your mom up and leaving, telling you it was your fault because you were a bad kid. You’re convinced that no one will ever stick around. That eventually, they’ll leave you too. And somewhere in your twisted, screwed-up psyche, you probably think you deserve it.”

Melissa had finally dragged my sorry story out of me, late one night when the three of us were hanging out at their apartment. Cassie had kept her promise and hadn’t told her best friend, so it was up to me to fill Melissa in. Damn, it seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Melissa took a quick breath and then delivered her final assessment. “You’re both so screwed up alone that together you’re like the perfect mess.”

The table fell briefly silent as her rant sank in. I thought about protesting, but wasn’t sure she was all that wrong.

“That’s an attractive analogy. Thanks for saying I’m screwed up.” Cassie’s voice was sharp, her feelings clearly hurt.

I shot Melissa a murderous glare before reaching for Cassie’s chin and turning her face to mine. “I’ll be the perfect mess with you anytime.”

Cassie quickly swiped under her eye and leaned her head against my shoulder. She released a deep sigh. “Melissa just doesn’t know anything about having messed-up parents. Hers are perfect. She can’t relate.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault I won the parent lottery.” Melissa eyed Cassie. “Plus, we both know I’m not strong enough to deal with the shit you’ve dealt with. I would’ve had a nervous breakdown by now. I could never handle everything your dad’s put you through.”

Cassie’s body shook lightly against mine as she released a slight laugh, causing the tension in my chest and back to release. I realized in that moment that her feelings affected my own. I’d never let anyone hurt her as long as I was around. And if they did, I’d sure as hell make them pay for it.

“I don’t know if it’s because I’m strong or because I’ve gotten really good at turning off my emotions,” Cassie commented, her voice soft.

“It’s definitely both.” Melissa turned to me. “And Jack, I’ve never seen anyone completely shut off the way this one can.” Her head tilted toward Cass. “If you push her too far, she’ll flick off like a light switch. It’s scary.”

“Really? That’s impressive,” I teased as my fingers caressed her side.

“You won’t feel that way if she does it to you. Trust me.” Melissa’s face was the scary kind of serious.

“Well, I hope I never have to see it.”

“If I didn’t compartmentalize, I’d never be able to function! It’s the only way I can survive without being a total basket case.” Cassie’s face was serious as she defended herself.

“I get it, Kitten. Still impressive.” I smiled as she looked up at me.

“So when do you leave for Texas?” Dean’s question changed the subject and broke the tension. Thank God for little brothers, especially those who can talk around a mouthful of cheeseburger.

“We fly out Thursday morning. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

Cassie sat upright and turned to face me. “What do you do when you’re there? Like how does it work? Do you practice? Do parents go?”

Cassie always had a million questions about everything, but it turned me on. She was so damn inquisitive and smart. “Well, we typically fly in the day before our games start. We check in at the hotel. We’ll have practice and work out and have dinner as a team. Some parents go, but not many.”

“Does everyone get their own room?” she asked, her voice half impressed, half shocked.

“No.” I let out a laugh. “We share rooms.”

“Do you have like bed checks and stuff?”

I nodded and noticed Melissa’s elbows planted firmly on the table, her ears taking in every word. “We do. Usually Coach comes by and makes sure everyone’s in their rooms by ten.”

Her face softened. “Any other rules?”

I felt my mouth form a half smile. “No girls and no drinking,” I said with a chuckle.

She shoved against my shoulder. “I’m sure those rules never get broken, huh?”

“Nope. We’re all complete angels when we’re on the road.” My gaze darted between Melissa and Cassie, then fell on Dean, silently daring him to contradict me.

Dean let out a hearty laugh. “Angels, my ass.”

“No, wait wait wait!” Cassie’s voice broke through the chorus of laughter. “Do you guys sneak girls in your rooms? Like random strangers?”

I felt her eyes pierce mine. She wanted the truth and I didn’t want to lie to her. “Yeah.”

She rolled her eyes at my one-word response.

“Kitten. The eyes.”

“You’re such a pig.” She shook her head with disgust.

“This isn’t news! But I’m a changed man, Kitten. I swear it.” I took her chin in my fingers and pleaded, wanting her to believe me.

“We’ll see about that.” She stared back at me, her smirk evidence of her disbelief.

“Care to make a wager?” I offered, dying to loosen up the tense atmosphere.

Her face crinkled at my suggestion. “Please, tell me you don’t need a bet to stay faithful. I swear to God, Jack.”

I felt her body tighten as she angled away from me. With one humorous comment, I’d changed her body language completely. It was as though I could feel her replacing the bricks around her heart that I’d already knocked down. One by one, she cemented them back into place where she felt they belonged.

This away series was going to be the first real test in our relationship. She wasn’t sure she could trust me. I didn’t blame her though, but I was damn sure going to prove her wrong.

SEVEN

CASSIE

I paced nervously around the kitchen while I waited for Jack to arrive.

“Why are you pacing? What the hell’s wrong with you?” Melissa looked up from her textbook and eyed me.

“I don’t know. I’m sorta freaking out,” I admitted, taking a swig from my water glass.

“About what? Seriously, Cass, I haven’t seen the guy even touch another girl since your crazy date that night.” Melissa tried to catch my gaze, her eyebrows raised.

I shook my head and continued wearing down the kitchen floor. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” She sat up straighter, laying her pencil in between the pages of her book and closing it shut.

I stopped walking, took another drink, and swallowed forcefully. “I just don’t get why Dean can’t take him to the bus tomorrow. Why does he want me to do it? And why is he leaving me his death machine?”

Melissa sighed heavily. “Jesus, Cassie. Can’t the guy do something nice for you?”

“How is that nice?”

“Last time I checked, genius, your car is sitting pretty back at home.” She smirked, her head swiveling back and forth in disbelief at my stupidity.

“So?”

“So he’s leaving you his. That’s nice of him.”

“I guess.” She had a point, but my defenses were still up. “But why is he staying over?”

Melissa’s mouth fell open as she leaned her head back. “I’m such an idiot,” she admitted before smacking her palm against her forehead. “This is your first sleepover with Jack. You’re scared to spend the night with him. That’s what this is about.”

My stomach flipped and rolled with her words. I stared at the black-and-white-tiled kitchen counter, my eyes losing focus until the pattern became an unrecognizable swirl of hazy dark and light hues.

“Earth to Cassie, hello?” Melissa snapped her fingers in my direction and my eyes jerked up to meet hers.

“I’m not scared.” My stupid voice shook slightly. “I’m just…not ready.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because once you give your body to a guy, there’s no taking it back. And once you’ve done that it opens up feelings, emotions, and vulnerabilities you never knew you were capable of having. I’m not ready to give him my heart. What if he breaks it?”

“What if he doesn’t?” Melissa shot back.

The quick knock on the door startled us both and Melissa gathered her composure before I did. “Come in,” she yelled behind her.

The door swung open and Jack walked in, carrying his baseball bag in one hand and an overnight bag in the other. I watched as he dropped the baseball bag next to the door and then disappeared with his overnight bag into my bedroom. I quickly widened my eyes at Melissa before he waltzed back into the room. She stifled a laugh.

“Hey, Kitten.” He nuzzled his lips against my neck and I felt my knees begin to shake.

I forced a nervous smile. “Hungry?”

“Starved,” he answered, before his lips met mine.

All my thoughts scrambled inside my head as I released them and lost myself in his mouth. Warm cinnamon engulfed my senses as his breath and touch consumed me. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, Jack Carter always turned me to mush.

So much for that wall of yours, Cass. Kiss it good-bye.

When he pulled away, I braced my hand against the countertop to steady my shaking body. Once I was certain my legs would carry me without falling, I headed toward the refrigerator and opened the door, tearing through every tray and cabinet.

“Your options are grilled cheese, mac and cheese, or a quesadilla,” I announced, somewhat embarrassed by our lack of food choices.

“I can only pick one?” Jack teased. “What if I want them all?”

“Then you can make them.” I smirked while holding the door open with one arm. “Jack, tell me what you want!”

“I sort of do want them all. Is that bad? I’ll help.” His face crinkled as he braced for my reaction.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine. You make the mac and cheese and I’ll make the rest. Deal?”

I watched as the tension released from his tanned cheeks and those irresistible dimples appeared. “Deal!”

“Look at you two. Cooking in the kitchen like an old married couple,” Melissa remarked from a safe distance.

I turned toward her wishing I could suddenly shoot darts from my eyes. “Old married couple, my ass. We haven’t even made it through one road trip.”

Jack put down the pot he held and reached for me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held on to me tightly. “Kitten, are you worried about this road trip? I’m not going to fuck screw up. I promise.”

I avoided his eyes, looking straight past him toward the white wall in the distance. His fingers were suddenly caressing my cheek, before they forced my chin upward. “Look at me, Cass,” he pleaded softly.

I closed my eyes tight before opening them and focusing on his. It was so hard to put my feelings into words, all my insecurities and fears coiled inside me, eating away at the trust we’d built.

“I don’t want any other girl.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “You hear me?”

“I hear you,” was all I could force out in a whisper.

“But do you believe me?” He cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow.

I shrugged my shoulder. “I guess we’ll see.”

“Damn straight we’ll see.” He jerked his head playfully. “I’ll prove it to you.”

I rolled my eyes and he pressed his warm mouth against mine, his tongue parting my lips. I jerked away. “If this is your way of proving it…”

His mouth instantly found mine again, the heat between us hot enough to start a fire. The taut muscles of his abs pressed tightly against my stomach. I found myself suddenly aware of his fingers and their location against the small of my back, pulling me against him. His body grew harder with every moment that passed and my defenses lowered.

I maneuvered my hands underneath his shirt and ran my fingers along the curves of his back. His skin was smooth and soft, yet hard and muscular. I found myself unable to stop exploring as I caressed every inch I could reach of his warm skin. Feeling his body this way sent excited tingles shooting throughout my entire body. He pressed the hardness in his jeans against me and I struggled to catch my breath. And even though I wasn’t ready to be one of Jack Carter’s conquests, I found it difficult to resist him when I was this turned on.

Melissa cleared her throat. “Jesus, you two. I feel like I should leave a tip after watching that.”

I peeled my tingling body away from his and wiped at my bottom lip, lust blurring my vision.

“We take quarters.” Jack smirked before leaning in for one last peck.

Melissa’s face contorted with confusion at the inside joke I realized I’d never shared with her. “Whatever. I have to finish my homework. Hurry up and make me some food.”

Jack impressed me by not only helping cook dinner, but cleaning up as well. He attempted to swat me with the dish towel a total of twelve times. It annoyed the hell out of me, but I’ll admit I also found it endearing. I shook my head absentmindedly, lost in thought.

“What are you shaking your head at?” Jack asked, leaning his hip against the counter.

“I was just thinking about us.” I flashed him a reassuring smile as I placed the towel back around the handle of the stove.

“Oh, yeah? What about us?” He took a step toward me.

I put my hand up to stop him. “Just about how differently I feel about you today versus when we met at the party that night.”

“And how do you feel about me today?” He grabbed my hand and tucked it behind my back, pulling my body against his.

“Well, I don’t hate you today.” I smiled, my heart rate picking up speed.

His lips moved toward my face, brushing against my cheek without stopping. “You didn’t hate me that night either,” he whispered, his breath hot against my ear.

Excited chills replaced my will to playfully fight back. I pushed him and spun on my heels away from his hot body. “I have to get ready for bed.”

“I’ll come with you,” he called out to my retreating back.

I stopped and turned to face him, my eyes narrowing. “No, you will not.” I pressed my hand firmly against his hard chest. “You’ll stay right here until I’m done. Go watch SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight or something.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

His face softened, a half smile appearing. “Okay, Kitten. You get ready for bed and I’ll wait here.”

I assumed he thought I was up to something, but the truth was I had no intention of doing anything sexual with him tonight. I wasn’t ready and before this night was through, I was going to have to admit that to him. It was a conversation I dreaded having. I washed the makeup off my face, brushed my teeth, and slipped into my pink tank top and white boxer shorts before reentering the living room.

“You can come in now,” I announced from the doorway.

Jack’s gaze slid over my body, then he pushed himself up from the couch and sauntered toward me, a smile plastered across his cheeks. “Night, Melissa.” He smacked my backside with his hand and steered me toward my bedroom.

“Stop it, brat!” I shouted as I ran into the bedroom. I watched as he closed the door behind him and then reached into his overnight bag.

“I brought you something.” He pulled an empty mason jar from his bag and handed it to me.

I turned it in my hand, my eyes narrowed in confusion before reading the handwritten note stuck to the opposite side: Kitten’s Quarters. I laughed out loud before placing the jar on top of my dresser.

“These too.” He pulled out the bag of quarters from our first date, the sound of them clinking against one another taking me back in time.

“Cute.” I smiled as he poured the contents of the bag into the jar.

“You owe me a lot of touches, Kitten.” His lips pursed together, his tone teasing.

“Apparently. Who knew you could be so clever?”

“Everyone except you,” he answered in that cocky tone so uniquely his.

“Oh, here we go,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Kitten.” Jack’s brows pulled together, his voice stern. “What did I tell you about the eyes?” He took two steps toward me and our faces nearly touched. He brushed his hand along my cheek before placing it behind my neck and pulling my mouth to his. His tongue parted my lips and entered. His hand followed the lines of my curves until stopping on my hip with a firm grip. My eyes rolled behind closed eyelids as I lost myself in his touch.

And as quickly as it began, he pulled away, a satisfied smirk plastered all over his face. He bent down near his overnight bag and pulled out a leather pouch filled with his things. “Is it okay if I jump in the shower?”

“Of course. There’s a towel under the sink.” I smiled, still trying to catch my faltering breath. My eyes refused to look away from him as he ripped his shirt off and dropped it to the floor near my sink. His tanned, well-defined arms caused my insides to stir. He unzipped his shorts before stepping out of them and promptly pressed his body against the counter as he reached for the toothpaste. I forced myself to look away before I started actually drooling at the sight of him in nothing but some well-fitting boxer briefs.

Staying strong tonight might be harder than I thought.

When the shower turned off, he opened the door, my green towel wrapped tightly around his waist. Beads of water dripped from his wet black hair as coils of hazy steam swirled around him.

“Kitten, can you throw me a pair of briefs?”

I tossed off the covers and crept out of bed toward his duffle bag. I opened the flap of fabric and noticed dress shirts, ties, and slacks. “What’s with all the dressy clothes?”

“We have to dress up whenever we travel.”

“Seriously? Why?”

“Because, Kitten, it’s the rules. We have to look presentable. And we’re a professional college baseball team. We have to make a good impression.”

“Huh, I guess that makes sense,” I said, before rooting around for his briefs.

He laughed. “It’s a hell of a lot better than a bunch of rowdy guys in t-shirts and baggy shorts.”

“That’s true!” I rooted around in his bag and grabbed the first pair I could find. “Here,” I said, throwing the undergarment toward his feet.

“Thanks, babe,” he responded before allowing the towel to drop to the floor. I felt my jaw drop right along with it as my eyes refused to look away. My insides flushed with heat as he turned his head to face me. He smiled confidently before reaching for the briefs and slipping into them.

Holy shit. This night might kill me.

Date: 2015-01-29; view: 587