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VOICE ON TELEVISION

To be or not to be...

BRIDGET

What's this?

NICK

Hamlet - a tragedy.

ANNIE

What's it about?

NICK

Love. Madness. And murder.

Hamlet's father, the king, is killed by Hamlet's uncle, who then marries Hamlet's mother, so Hamlet kills his uncle and his mother and then he dies.

BRIDGET

That sounds like my family.

NICK

It's a masterpiece. I'd be great as Hamlet.

BRIDGET

Oh! My tights!

NICK

Oh, Bridget, I had an accident.

BRIDGET

Buy me another pair or you will have an accident!

ANNIE

Accident or murder?!

NICK

OK, Bridget.

BRIDGET

Right, I'm off.

ANNIE

Me too.

HECTOR

Goodnight, sugar-plum.

ANNIE

Night, snuggly-puppykins.

HECTOR

Oh, Nick, I am worried.

NICK

Hector, I know what you mean. When women talk like that, it is time to move on.

HECTOR

No, not Annie.

This television reporter's job. I don't really think I can do it.

NICK

Hector, of course you can. What you need is...

HECTOR

Talent?

NICK

No! You don't need talent. You need Nick's School for Television Reporters.

HECTOR

Nick's School for Television Reporters?

NICK

Yeah! I will teach you to be a television reporter.

HECTOR

OK!

NICK

OK.

Rule number one: imagine you are talking to a beautiful woman.

"Good evening, this is Nick Jessop, reporting from the Houses of Parliament just for you."

Rule number two: be mysterious.

"I am here to tell you the Houses of Parliament may look normal, but all is not as it seems."

Rule number three: make them trust you.

"I can reveal that this building is actually an alien space station. Trust me. Trust Nick Jessop. I will always tell you the truth. See you later. Goodnight and sleep tight." Do it like that, Hector, and you will get the job.

HECTOR

"Hi, this is Hector Romero."

BRIDGET [Composing email]

‘Chrissy, we need a new TV reporter at Channel Nine and I think Hector will be perfect.’

HECTOR

Well, if you think so.

BRIDGET [Composing email]

‘Of course, I will train him.

My new boss will be very impressed.’

HECTOR

OK, Bridget.

BRIDGET [Composing email]

‘And this morning, I found Nick wearing my Versace tights.’

NICK

Oh, these tights!

BRIDGET [Composing email]

He's a strange boy.

NICK [Composing email]

‘Guess what, Dan! I've discovered Shakespeare. "To die, to sleep ..."

I love it!

And I taught Hector how to be a television reporter.

 

NICK

Nick’s School for Television Reporters!

NICK [Composing email]

I'm sure he'll get the job!

BRIDGET

Did you get my fax? Well, did you get my email? What did Sting say? Will he do the interview?

You won't even ask him? He's never heard of Channel Nine? Oh, please. Please! Please!



Well can I meet him? I can? Where is he? At the airport? I'll be there. Yes!

Sound of knocking on door

WOMAN

Hector Romero for you, Bridget.

BRIDGET

No.

Hector, I forgot your audition. Listen, I must go out for one hour. Sting wants to see me!

Don't worry. Just remember everything I've told you. Here's the script, there's the camera. Must dash! Be back in an hour!

HECTOR

But.., I...

"Hello, this is Hector Romero for Channel Nine."

BRIDGET

What a day!

First Sting had already departed for New York and now this! This! From you, Hector!

HECTOR

Sorry, Bridget.

BRIDGET

Was this Nick's idea?

HECTOR

Erm...

BRIDGET

I thought so.

HECTOR

So, have I got the job?

BRIDGET

What do you think?

Goodbye, Hector. And the new editor will be here soon.

Right! Nick!


Date: 2015-12-24; view: 159


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