He was ridiculous. "Hi, sexy, this is Hector Romero." My new editor will be here soon and I wanted to impress her.
NICK
So will Hector get the job then?
BRIDGET
Of course he won't get the job. You made me look a fool. You.., you and Hector are so stupid!
ANNIE
Who was that?
NICK
Wrong number.
ANNIE
Hey, Nick, look at this. This could be perfect for you.
NICK
What is it?
ANNIE [Reading advert]
"Is Shakespeare in your blood? Could you be our Hamlet?"
NICK
Yeah!
ANNIE
"Do you love performing?"
NICK
Yeah!
ANNIE
"Do you love travelling?"
NICK
Yeah!
ANNIE
"Do people adore you?"
NICK
Naturally!
ANNIE
"Then we need you. Call this number for a Shakespearean experience."
NICK
Wow! Hamlet! My dream!
I'll call now. I must learn my lines. "To be... to be..."
ANNIE
"Or not to be?"
BRIDGET
Aagh!!!
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Hello, Bridget.
BRIDGET
Eunice, what are you doing here?
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Long time no see, Bridget. And how's Nick? Does he miss me?
BRIDGET
No. Er, yes.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Oh! You have a new hairstyle.
BRIDGET
Yeah. So have you.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Yes, but the difference is, mine looks good.
BRIDGET
Yes.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Anyway, Bridget, I am your new editor.
Surprised?
BRIDGET
No, no, no.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Good. OK.
Two rules. One: I am your editor and I am always right. Two: you are the researcher, you are always wrong.
OK?
BRIDGET
OK.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
OK.
Now what have you got for me today?
BRIDGET
Well, Sting would love to come for an interview, but...
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
… But he's not coming.
BRIDGET
No.
But we need a new reporter and... and... and I have found you the most perfect person.
He's Latin American, speaks English and he's very sexy. Watch this. I know you'll love him.
HECTOR
"Hi, sexy. This is Hector Romero for Channel Nine. Wow, you look beautiful today.
Guess what? There's been a diamond robbery in London.
I would love to put diamonds on those pretty ears. But you, yes, you can sleep safely in your bed tonight.
This is Hector Romero. I'll be back."
BRIDGET
Well?
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Of course! Hector!
Oh, he is perfect!
BRIDGET [Composing email]
‘What a day! Hector's audition was a disaster.’
HECTOR
"Hello, this is Hector Romero for Channel Nine."
BRIDGET
‘Guess who interfered? Nick!’
BRIDGET
Right, Nick!
BRIDGET [Composing email]
‘And worse still, guess who is my new boss?
Eunice Mountain!’
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
I am your new editor.
BRIDGET [Composing email]
‘But the good news is, she loved Hector.’
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Oh, he is perfect!
ANNIE [Composing email]
‘We’ve found a perfect role for Nick. Hamlet, by William Shakespeare.’
NICK
My dream!
ANNIE [Composing email]
‘He's very excited!’
ANNIE
Oh, don't worry, Hector, my little puppykins. I'm sure you would have been a very good reporter.
HECTOR
But Bridget is angry with me.
ANNIE
Huh! Don't worry about Bridget.
NICK
Guess what? I've got the job.
ANNIE
Hamlet?
HECTOR
Shakespeare? Congratulations, man!
ANNIE
Oh, great! When do you start?
NICK
Tonight. I've got the costume already. I think I will go and wash my motorbike.
HECTOR
You haven't got a motorbike.
NICK
I have now.
BRIDGET
Hi, everyone!
Hector, you have a visitor - my new editor! Eunice, do you remember Hector?
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Hmm.
How could I forget? And of course Nick! I could never forget you!
BRIDGET
I thought you had a motorbike to wash?
NICK
Thank you.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Hector, I just popped in to say congratulations. You've got the job! Isn't it wonderful?
BRIDGET
Eunice really liked your tape.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
Oh, you are perfect, Hector.
BRIDGET
Hector will have such fun.
EUNICE MOUNTAIN
I'm off. Oh, see you at 8 o'clock sharp tomorrow morning, Hector. Hmm! Oh, hmm!
BRIDGET
There's no need to thank me, Hector.
ANNIE
Oh, I think I’ve got something in my eye.
Well, it was nice while it lasted, but now, Annie, it is time to say goodbye to Hector.
He is going to be a famous news reporter, so there'll be no room for little old you.
HECTOR
It's OK, Annie.
Whatever happens, we will always be together.
ANNIE
But you'll forget me when you're a famous news reporter.
HECTOR
However many stories I report - murders, bank robberies, small cats in trees - I shall never forget you. You, light of my life. "This is Hector Romero for Channel Nine, London."
ANNIE
Oh, Hector!
HECTOR
Oh, Annie!
BRIDGET
Oh no.
Nick?
NICK
Yes?
No! Ohh...
"To eat or not to eat. That is the question." Hamlet's burgers - eat them without question.
Sound of laughter
COMMENTARY [v.o.]
Next time in EXTRA, Annie wants to save the animals, Bridget has a date with Leonardo di Caprio, and what is in Nick's box?