RETURNING WITHOUT A COAT

It was the last day of March, a sunny day; according to the calendar and ways of nature we felt spring was in its full swing in Croatia. I packed my things and was ready to return to my family in Stuttgart. But at the same time I wasn’t ready to leave mum and dad. Many sad thoughts and emotions flooded my mind and soul.

My father escorted me to the bus station. For the first time I saw him crying as we were saying our farewells. He was crying because of the unknown and unavoidable future ahead of us. I assured him my family would visit them in three weeks during Easter break, and if the need be even sooner. The bus arrived, I took my seat and watched my father through the window wiping off his tears as the bus pulled out from the station. I was crying too.

It took me a long time to calm down. The bus was well on the way when I realized that I left on the journey without my coat. The day was sunny, but the nights were still cold, especially when traveling through Slovenia and the Austrian Alps. I knew the passengers were required to leave the bus during the 20-minute break that night. I realized I would be freezing. This was one of those days when I couldn’t think clearly. As if I could focus only on what was happening in the given moment afraid of thinking about future.

The way I felt that night, l could identify with Jesus’ disciples being caught in a storm.

“35 That day when evening came, he (Jesus) said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him.

37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped.

38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"

39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 40 He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"” (Mark 4 NIV)

Jesus has the power to calm any storm that we face in our lives or protect us in a storm if we have to live through it. The storm in my life was had taken its turn and I just didn’t know how long it was going to last. I believe in a living God who is navigating the boat of our life, interested in everything that we have to face. Sometimes we panic in face of danger, confusion or unexpected things that happen to all of us. We forget to call on Jesus the One who has everything under control and can bring everything under control in our lives too.

Branislav got my SMS message and waited for me at the Stuttgart bus station with a warm jacket on the early, cool spring morning. As I came out of the bus he immediately covered me to keep me warm, with the jacket, his love and understanding that was much appreciated.

54. MOTHER’S DAY

Easter holidays were in three weeks. I couldn’t wait to see my parents again, although it was only for a day, stopping there on our way to Branislav’s family. Very little did I know that just in three weeks I would be back on my own. Mum’s situation deteriorated drastically and she was hospitalized again. Ana came home to help. We organized to be together, mum, dad, Ana, Joseph and me, for Mother’s day on 11 May.

This was a wonderful occasion to express our gratitude to mum. We bought flowers and small presents. We had so much to thank our mother for and this gave us an opportunity to verbalize it.

Not known to us children the date had another commemorative significance. It was 43 years of our parents’ engagement. This triggered many memories, and mum and dad shared their stories that we heard for the first time. Then the stories continued about the wedding, Ana being born, them moving from Osijek region to Stari Slatinik, how they bought their own property and were building the home in stages. We combed through their whole life together. Reflecting back stirred many emotions in mum as she was reliving those moments in life.

The following day dad and I went to visit mum. The plan was for dad to stay just for a short while and for me to spend the whole afternoon with her. When we arrived to the hospital my cousin’s wife Ann was with mum. They were in a deep conversation about flowers, mum’s favourite topic. Ann was telling her that she bought beautiful petunias on the market, she had never seen any as beautiful as those before. She described where they were sold and the lady selling them.

Mum had a request for dad, “Franc, have you heard it well who was selling the beautiful petunias? Please, buy two pots for me on the way home.” Dad looked at her rather upset, “You have so many flowers and two more won’t make any difference. I have to take care of them now anyway. Anyway, we need to be careful with money, save it for the dark days.” I didn’t like the way the conversation went. I looked at mum, but thought better not say anything. Soon after Ann and dad closed the door behind them, and before I had the chance to say anything, mum burst into laughter, “Your father is funny, aren’t they dark enough.” Both of us laughed.

We could always count on mum’s good sense of humor. It kept her going in the hardest moments of life. That way she used to put people around her at ease. “Your father is under much stress, don’t take it against him. I’m sure he’s going to buy the flowers just as I requested.” Indeed, mum was right. It’s good not to be offensive or pity yourself, and be judgmental of other people. Only a little understanding can make all the difference. I appreciated having a mother like that.

Date: 2015-12-24; view: 792