THE BEST OF YOUR MUM

Every day I came to spend time with mum in the hospital. The main consultant requested that a close family member comes to talk to him about mum’s situation. This was the medical ethic practiced in Croatia at the time. The doctors preferred to talk to the closest family members if the situation was serious rather than the patients directly. That way they wanted to protect the patients of additional stress and not crush their hope.

I came to the consultant’s office. There was already a patient there when he called me in. As he was examining a half naked man he was talking about mum’s situation. I felt uneasy, especially as he wasn’t even looking at me as he spoke. His attitude was unpleasant but the words hurt deeply, “This is the best of your mum that you see now. There’s nothing we can do for her.” I was left speechless.

I didn’t return to mum’s ward immediately. I needed time to process what I had heard and calm down. Mum looked extremely skinny and worn out. I couldn’t understand how much more she could deteriorate. She was dying and the consultant had no words of hope.

It was hard to accept these words when I know that God can do just anything and change any situation. He has done many miracles and I have witnessed some of them. Words of people requesting healing from Jesus, recorded in the Gospels, went through my head: just give the order; if you want to, you can make me clean; many addressed Jesus as Son of David, Son of God, Master to have pity on them.

Do we just let mum go? Do we need to accept the fact that there is time for everything as the wise Solomon said:

“1There is time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven,

2 a time to be born and a time to die,…” (Ecclesiastes 3, NIV)

In my disappointment I didn’t know what to say to mum and how to say it. I tried to postpone it as much as possible, but I knew she was waiting to hear the news from me. It was awful news.

As I opened the door mum’s sad and tired eyes read my body language. She just commented, “ The consultant is a good doctor, there are just too many of us, and sometimes he’s not so considerate.” She never asked further questions, for she felt herself that the prognosis wasn’t good. She knew that it would be hard for me to tell her what the consultant said, and I couldn’t say anything else but the truth. Instead she reached for a hymnal book she enjoyed reading and showed me the last section. “They are funeral songs, aren’t they?” I just nodded my head. She continued, “They are beautiful and full of hope. Sleeping in Christ, but not eternally, only until His soon coming.” In a gentle way mum let me know that she understood her situation perfectly well.

IN THE GARDEN

At the entrance of the hospital building where mum was situated there was a small garden. Mum expressed a desire to go for a short stroll. We got the permission and slowly made our way there. Mum enjoyed being outside in the sunshine, looking at people walking around, hearing the birds and looking at the flowers in blossom. We found a bench for mum to rest a little bit, and just as we were ready to go back to the ward we noticed a familiar face approaching us.

It was Mladen, in his twenties, the youngest of my cousins. He was the last of the five children in his family, four boys and a girl. He wasn’t a year old when his mother died with breast cancer. My uncle never got married again. He came to visit mum, for him she was more than an aunty.

Immediately a deep conversation started between mum and him. It was about his love problems. In details he was explaining the situation between him and a girl he dearly loved. Mum was paying serious attention to every piece of information he gave and responded to it. The talk went on for 15 minutes and I thought mum had to go back to her bed, the bench was very uncomfortable.

I signaled to mum to go, but with her eyes she signaled back that she was all right. The conversation continued and lasted for nearly an hour until Mladen was ready to go. By then mum looked utterly exhausted, not from the conversation but from sitting on the uncomfortable bench. “Mum, you can hardly walk now. Why didn’t you tell Mladen to come with us to the ward?” “I didn’t want to kill the topic. It was so important to him.” I was joking, “But it nearly killed you.” Mum smiled, “I’m dying anyway, but Mladen is young and he needs to live. He needed someone to listen to his problems. He needed to be supported.”

That afternoon, on that hospital bench I saw a Christian principle in action.

Romans 12:

“15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” (NIV)

Mladen was mourning for love that was dying. Mum sympathized with him, boosted his self-confidence and ignited trust in God that He’s the One who cares about his whole life. He’s got a wife for him and no one will be able to interfere with that. She said a blessing on Mladen and he left happy and in peace. Mum walked slowly, I thought her whole body was in pain, but her soul rejoiced. That afternoon a good bed rest was much appreciated by mum; she quickly fell asleep with a big smile on her face.

Date: 2015-12-24; view: 821