Thursday 14th November

I’ve finally decided that enough is enough and it’s time for make or break.

Dear Mermaid

How you doing? How’s school? When do your exams start? Had a really boring weekend here at school with not much to do and prefects lurking around and looking threatening. Has your Mom decided what you guys are doing in the holidays? Not sure what we are doing either although there has been talk of a family reunion in Namibia. Anyway I just wanted to wish you well for your exams and to say hi. Afraid I don’t have too much news because we are still being treated like criminals and have no contact with the outside world.

Lots of love
Johnny

Ps Do you want to be my girlfriend again?

Pps I’ve been wanting to ask you this since the dance.

Ppps What do you think?

Pppps Please reply soon.

Ppppps Sorry about all the ps… ing.

21:15 Roger was sleeping on my pillow while I lay sprawled out on my bed reading a book on restoration theatre and stroking the purring animal with one hand. Then out of the blue Vern attacked me. I heard Boggo shout, ‘Parra, okes, parra! Check, Spud and Rain Man are having it off!’ Vern was screaming loudly and trying to bash my head into the wooden partition. I kicked him solidly in the balls and was able to get out of his grip and thump him on the head with The Guide to Restoration Theatre. This stunned Rain Man momentarily and I was able to catch him in a deadly Milton headlock. (If my arms were slightly longer I could have got him into an unbreakable half nelson.) Vern struggled and screamed but I held him until his body suddenly fell limp and the idiot collapsed onto the floor and pretended he was dead. Everyone started laughing and mocking Rain Man especially when his left eye opened slightly to check out the crowd. Obviously this was Vern’s cretinous way of saving face after he lost the fight that he started in the first place. Fatty stepped forward and shouted, ‘Hey, guys, Vern’s dying! I’ve got to give him mouth to mouth.’ Before Fatty could move a step Vern came back to life. He fluttered his eyelids and pretended that he had just come out of a coma and had completely lost his memory. Simon asked him his name. Vern pretended he didn’t know. Rambo then grabbed Vern’s left hand and said, ‘Hey, Vern, why are you wearing my watch?’ Poor Vern couldn’t argue as Rambo ripped off his watch and stuffed it into his pocket. There was nothing Vern could do other than watch his possessions being stolen and handed out. Eventually all his clothes, possessions, mattress, duvet and pillows had been dragged off and hidden. Vern sat on the hard wooden planks of his bed and muttered angrily to himself. Rambo shouted from the far end of the dormitory, ‘Hey, Vern! I think you learned a couple of lessons here today. Never enter a fight unless you know you can finish it and never play the martyr unless you enjoy being walked on.’ Vern jotted something down in his notebook but said nothing.

Despite the fact that Vern cold bloodedly tried to slam my head into the wall, I still felt sorry for him curled up on the wooden planks and sniffing and sighing to himself. I stole Mad Dog’s old mattress and gave him my blanket and laundry bag which he could use as a pillow. Obviously Roger has forgiven his master for whatever he’d done wrong because he settled down on Vern’s chest with some loud purring and intense head butting.

Date: 2015-12-17; view: 628