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Friday 1st November

22:00 Fatty called the dormitory to a meeting and lit up his candles.

Turns out that the prefects received a tip-off about the Mad House before the July holidays. Nobody knows who leaked the information because it was written on a piece of paper and anonymously slid under Anderson’s door in the middle of the night. The traitor had even drawn a map to guide the prefects to the exact spot. Anderson discovered the Mad House and he knew immediately that we were using it as a hideaway den for drinking and smoking. They had reported it way back then to Sparerib! Sparerib apparently told them to wait until they could catch us in the Mad House with booze and to make sure Rambo was there at the time. According to Emberton, Sparerib made it clear to all the prefects at the beginning of the year that he wanted to get rid of Rambo and that they would receive special privileges if they assisted.

I told Fatty that I’d interrogated Runt and that I was convinced it was Runt who had blown the whistle on us. Boggo agreed and said Mad Dog had made a blunder in not drowning Runt in the bog stream the day we found him snooping when he had the chance.

Boggo was in the middle of explaining how he was going to torture Runt when the door creaked open and a large shadow stood on the threshold in the doorway. With expulsion looming over us, we all dived onto our beds and pretended to be asleep. There was a long silence. Finally Vern shone his torch on the shadow.

‘Rambo!’ shouted Vern.

‘Oh my God!’ gasped Fatty.

‘You’re both right,’ replied Rambo and dragged his trunk into the dormitory.

Rambo wasn’t impressed with Fatty taking over his cubicle and gave him thirty seconds to pack up and get lost. Fatty did it in twenty-seven.

Rambo has done it again.

THE OFFICIAL STORY

The school’s Board of Governors agreed that Rambo had been wrongfully expelled because he shouldn’t have been placed on final warning in the first place. The board also believed that there was evidence of bad blood between Rambo and Sparerib and that the decision to expel Rambo had been hasty and not fully researched.

Rambo has just been beaten six by The Glock and is now, like the rest of us, officially on final warning.

Mad Dog’s expulsion will not be changed because he was on Absolutely Final Warning and hasn’t passed an exam in two years.

THE LOW-DOWN

Rambo says his dad’s ex-girlfriend’s sister is best friends with Derrick Watts from Carte Blanche on TV, the programme that does investigations into dodgy things. Rambo apparently threatened to go on live television and admit to having an affair with a teacher (Eve) at our prestigious school last year and say he was unfairly expelled by Sparerib because Sparerib wanted revenge. (That was the point when The Glock called us in before the holidays to ask us those questions.) The Board of Governors realized that the whole thing could get messy and public so they decided to let Rambo come back provided he tell nobody about the Eve affair nor the circumstances of the whole case. They made him sign a confidentiality document and have made it clear that should he step out of line again he will be instantly expelled with no second chances this time.



But the low-down gets even better! Apparently Sparerib threatened to resign as housemaster if Rambo came back to school, saying it would compromise his principles! Rambo says that Eve has finally admitted to Sparerib that they’ve had an affair. Rambo says Sparerib has been pretending that he never knew.

Rambo then made us swear an oath of secrecy. Nobody had a Bible so we all swore on Vern’s dictionary.

‘Right,’ said Rambo as he pulled off his tie, ‘I believe it’s time to take out the trash.’ He pulled a squash racket out of his kit bag and led us into the first year dormitory.

The Sad Six were all sitting around chatting on JR Ewing’s locker. When they saw Rambo striding towards them with Vern’s torch in one hand and a squash racket in the other it looked like they’d just laid eyes on Macarthur himself. Rambo smashed JR Ewing on the head with the racket. JR fell off his locker and onto his bed, clutching the top of his noggin. Rambo then picked up the final Darryl with one hand and threw him head first into the locker. The others cowered against the back wall pleading for mercy. Rambo told them to shut up before saying, ‘There’s bad news and there’s even worse news. The bad news is that I’m back. The even worse news is that I’m coming back here tomorrow.’


Date: 2015-12-17; view: 583


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