Wednesday 7th August

Sparerib called an emergency house meeting and repeated The Glock’s speech from last week’s assembly word for word. Then he announced that various boys were on final warning and that Emberton had been suspended as a prefect. (Obviously, Emberton’s sugar baron father has already been on the blower to Sparerib because earlier at lunchtime Emberton was completely de-prefected and on the verge of expulsion.)

Between his wonky eye and his good eye Sparerib was able to glare at everyone in the common room at once. He said, ‘This house will be peaceful. This house will be under control. And most of all this house will behave! Now I’m not saying it’s all of you but there are certain bad elements in this house (lingering look at Pike) who seem hell bent on being revolutionary. (Vicious look at Rambo.) Tonight I am making it abundantly clear to those bad elements in this house who seek to undermine the good work and honest toil done by the vast majority of boys in this fine house that I will stop at nothing to hunt you down and punish you to the full extent of the law!’

There was dead silence. Mad Dog and Rambo looked at the floor. Boggo twiddled his fingers and Vern pulled out some hair with a thunk. Sparerib glared at us for some time before marching out of the common room and slamming the door. Pike bleated loudly like a sheep but Anderson told him to shut up. Then Pike marched up to Anderson and said, ‘Kiss my balls, asslicker.’ He smirked and walked past Anderson, nudging him slightly on the way. Anderson didn’t respond and slunk up to his room looking like a man with no authority.

Thursday 8th August

Luthuli charged into the dormitory to tell me that he had heard from a source on the inside that De Klerk is soon to announce a new constitution that will be one man one vote. The Crazy Eight didn’t know what to make of the head boy coming in to talk politics with me like we were best buddies. Vern seemed to be very embarrassed or feeling guilty because he put his head in his locker and pretended to be looking for something until Luthuli had left. Nobody said anything to me but I could hear faint grumblings and insults from the far end of the dormitory.

Friday 9th August

Just had a weird meeting with Sparerib. He hauled me into his office and asked me if there was anything I knew about that he should know about. I didn’t answer and there was a nasty pause before he said, ‘John, listen to me. There’s nothing wrong with putting things right. We’ve already lost three boys this year. I need to know what’s going on in this house and more specifically in your dormitory.’ I did my best to keep my cool and avoid getting caught in the spell of Sparerib’s wonky left eye. I spoke slowly in my deepest voice. ‘No, sir, there’s nothing you should know.’ I marched out of his office feeling unbeatable, like a man who had defeated his torturers. Rambo was hanging around in the quad outside Sparerib’s office. I gave him a thumbs up but he glared at me like I’d somehow betrayed him.

22:00 Fatty has invented a brilliant new game called Bread A Head.

BREAD A HEAD RULES

The dormitory dustbin is placed on Runt’s head.

(Runt has to be used because the dustbin perfectly fits his head.)

Runt has to stagger about and NOT fall over.

Each player is given a slice of bread and selects a position.

Each player is stationary and CANNOT follow Runt.

The aim is to land your slice of bread on the top of the bin.

The last person to land their bread on top loses. (And his bread slice is eaten by Fatty.)

If your bread slice falls off or misses the tin you are disqualified. (And your bread slice is eaten by Fatty.)

The winner gets a free shot of Mellowwood brandy on Sunday at the Mad House.

Surprisingly, Boggo won the game, although it must be said it was a clever move to jab poor Runt in the stomach with his hockey stick. Runt collapsed onto his knees because he was winded and Boggo dropped the winning slice of bread onto the bin. After the competition Fatty removed the bin from Runt’s head and the tape around his mouth. Runt burst into tears so Fatty gave him a Lunch Bar and said, ‘Well played.’

Once Runt had gone back to bed Simon asked me why Luthuli had come by the other day. I started telling him about our AA meetings and was about to give him a crash course on South African politics when suddenly Rambo started shouting at me and telling me that my attitude sucks and that I have no guts or Crazy Eight spirit. I didn’t know what was happening. There stood Vern shining his torch on me, and the rest of the Crazy Eight had gathered around and were nodding and agreeing with Rambo! I felt the blood draining from my face. Not only did it feel like I was about to be clobbered, but it seemed that everybody was united against me!

Rambo’s angry face was inches from mine. He said, ‘We don’t care what you do in your spare time or at your faggoty AA meetings, Spud. You think you’re this big revolutionary intellectual hotshot dude hanging around Luthuli like he’s some sort of hero.’ Rambo grabbed the torch from Vern and shone it directly in my eyes. ‘Your little secret coffee club and your up the bum meetings and lunches with The Guv – I mean is that ass creeping or what? And your cosy little meetings with Sparerib where you probably tell him about what I’m doing and show him your diary.’ I tried to tell him that I hadn’t spilled the beans to Sparerib but he hadn’t finished ranting and raving about my diary. ‘Every single day we know you write about us and you go on about how great you are and how everyone loves you and what a great actor you are. Well it’s crap – it’s all crap and we can prove it! We can prove it because we were here and we saw it with our own eyes. So write what you want but we all know you’re a phony!’

There was dead silence. I knew everyone agreed with Rambo. I could feel the horrible atmosphere in the dormitory. It was cold. In two minutes the Crazy Eight had gone from friend to enemy. Even Vern was glaring at me with something that felt like hatred.

I waited until Rambo released the front of my T-shirt. I felt relieved that he wasn’t going to hit me although this didn’t make up for the sudden loss of all my friends.

I lay in bed with everything humming and spinning. When I tried to close my eyes large yellow and red shapes rose up deep in my head. There was a pain in my stomach halfway between my belly button and my chest bone. It felt like a giant octopus wrapping its tentacles around my organs and then squeezing them slowly in one long movement. I felt so homesick.

Date: 2015-12-17; view: 530