Home Random Page


CATEGORIES:

BiologyChemistryConstructionCultureEcologyEconomyElectronicsFinanceGeographyHistoryInformaticsLawMathematicsMechanicsMedicineOtherPedagogyPhilosophyPhysicsPolicyPsychologySociologySportTourism






The Note by Teresa Mummert

Jenn Reynolds

Maine, March 12, 2010, Friday

 

I typed on my computer, tucked away in my cubical, invisible to the world around me. People stopped in periodically asking for favors, never once asking how I was or if I had plans for my birthday next week. If they had, I would have lied and told them I had a party out of town. In reality, I planned on spending the evening on the kissing bridge, finally finishing the last few chapters of the novel that had replaced any semblance of a social life. I lived vicariously through those characters. It was safer than opening up to real people who inevitably would hurt me or let me down. Where I went from there was still up in the air.

I planned on marrying on that bridge, overlooking the beautiful blue sparkling water below. Those plans began to take on life when I became engaged just three months ago. I spent two years of my life with Thomas. He woke me every morning with a kiss when I first moved in with him and even brought me breakfast in bed on occasion. As time went on, those kisses were replaced with an apology for whatever he may have said or done the night before while under the influence of his favorite whiskey after a late business meeting. Eventually, he stopped coming home.

I knew the stress of his job weighed heavily on him, and I tried my best to ignore the warning signs that everything was falling apart around us. That was until I found a pair of lace panties shoved under the pillow of our bed and I realized it was impossible to keep a relationship afloat when one of you was hell-bent on destroying it. I smiled sadly to myself as the overwhelming feeling of betrayal swept through my body. Holding my breath, I slowly began to count down from twenty as I released the air that filled my lungs.

Instead of planning my wedding, I watched as my older sister, Gail, planned her dream wedding. I wrapped my long brown hair into a bun and slipped my pencil through it to hold it in place before I clicked print. I hurried toward the printer on the other side of the office hoping to complete my work so I wouldn’t be stuck in the office until after the sun set.

“Woah, Jenn. Slow down there.” Howard gave me a toothy grin before sipping his mug of coffee. His light brown hair, in desperate need of a trimming, was slicked back in a greasy mass. His eyes danced over my chest, causing me to cross my arms over my breasts. The way he looked at me made me feel sleazy and cheap no matter how many articles of clothing I had on.

“I have work to do.” I shuffled nervously from foot to foot, glancing over Howard’s shoulder to the copy machine.

“Of course you do. Speaking of which, I need the Douglas report by Tuesday. I know that’s not much time but—”

I held up my hand, stopping him from finishing his sentence. I didn’t argue about having to work through the weekend. It was a sad fact that I never had anything going on in my private life. I welcomed the distraction.

“Oh, no,” I whispered in a panic as Jake Philips, the office manager, grabbed a stack of papers from the printer. I shoved by Howard and made my way to the machine. It sat empty.



“Just get it to me sometime Tuesday,” Howard called after me, raising his mug as he spoke before taking a sip and glancing around the office. His eyes fell on the new intern that started last week, and he grinned as he made his way to her desk.

“Damn.” Rubbing my hands over my face, I searched out Jake, who was reclining comfortably in his office chair behind his oversized mahogany desk. His dark, short hair brushed across the top of his forehead as he flipped through the stack of papers in his hand, his expression unchanging. I let my eyes linger on him for a moment. I never understood why he was so mean to me. He constantly barked orders and barely glanced in my direction while doing so. Over the last week it had only gotten worse, and I wondered how much more unkindness I could take from him before I finally snapped and quit my job. My goal was to be a partner in their advertising firm, but that dream seemed to slip further away with each passing dirty look from Jake or unsolicited come-on by Howard.

Maybe it didn’t print, I thought, as I made my way back to my desk.

I pulled out the Douglas file as my fingers shook. My blue eyes danced over the typed print as I struggled to focus on what I was reading. I glanced back at Jake, who was busy filing papers, completely oblivious to the inner turmoil I was experiencing in my small, claustrophobic cubical. Feeling another panic attack begin deep in the pit of my stomach, I concentrated on the task at hand, hoping to keep it at bay.

As I began typing, visions of my sister’s upcoming wedding on the bridge flooded my thoughts. I wondered if my family would make a fuss about me not showing. They most likely wouldn’t even notice that the maid of honor did not arrive. It didn’t matter. I wouldn’t be there. I had to stand up for myself, even if no one else would.

“Jenn, pop this in a mailbox when you go for your lunch.” Jake held out an envelope addressed to APO.

“Yes, sir.” Taking the envelope from his hands, I slipped it inside my blazer pocket. I typed a few more lines before pushing my chair back from my desk and made my way quickly to the elevator, hoping to avoid Howard.

“Jenn,” Jake called after me, causing me to freeze in my tracks as I rubbed my clammy palms on my skirt. “Nonfat milk!”

I nodded my head but didn’t respond as I quickly slipped inside the elevator.

“That suits you,” Gretchen whispered form my left.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your dress, dear. The yellow makes your blue eyes glow. Very pretty.” Gretchen smiled, the lines of her face crinkling as she brushed back her silver curls from her face.

“Thank you. It was on sale.” I ran my hands over my A-line dress. It was a far cry from my normal attire of jeans and a T-shirt, but I needed to look professional at work if I ever wanted to move up in my career.

Gretchen nodded as the doors opened on the ground floor, and I hurried out to make my way down the street to the local coffee shop. I wrapped my arms around my waist to counter the chilly breeze, silently cursing myself for not grabbing the blazer that hung on the back of my chair.


SSgt. Shane Tudor

Kuwait, March 5, 2010, Friday

 

“How can you sleep?” Pvt. Ryan Owens kicked the side of the worn-out mattress that I slept on, my arm thrown over my face.

“Kick me again and I’ll make you count, pretty boy.” I moved my arm and grinned at Owens before placing it back over my face to block the light from incoming helicopters. Owens ran his hands over his dusty blond hair as he laughed.

“You’re gonna pull rank, man? That’s not cool, Tudor.” Owens plopped down on the edge of the dilapidated mattress and removed his boot blousers that kept his pants from hanging over his boots.

“Get off my bed, O.” Months of deployment coupled with my home life falling apart had left me bitter and mad at the entire world. War had been a distraction, but now I was being thrown back into the real world.

“I can’t wait to get home, man. Beth is practically throwing a parade in my honor.” Owens slipped off one of his boots with a groan.

“Good for you. Get off my bed.”

Ryan ran his hands over his face, coating in them in the fine sand that clung to everything in this place.

“Once she sees you, she’s gonna change her mind.” Ryan tossed his boots into the corner and grinned in a way we rarely did around this place.

Narrowing my dull blue eyes in warning, I pushed myself up into a sitting position. I ran my hand over my freshly clipped, dark brown hair and hung my head, stretching the achy muscles in my neck.

“Chelsea made her choice,” I replied angrily as I stood up and pushed open the flap of the tent.

“He’s a dentist. What the hell would she want with a dentist?” Ryan slipped off his other sock and replaced it with a freshly laundered one, sliding his foot back inside his boot.

“Dentists don’t deploy,” I groaned as I gripped the metal framing of the tent over my head and stretched my back.

“She’s a whore, man.”

I glared back at Ryan, who held his hands up, knowing he went too far.

“All I’m saying is make your leave count. Two weeks of as much local ass you can get your hands on. You won’t even remember her name by the time you touch sand again. Shit, maybe you will come back and be just a little nicer than the enemy. That would be a nice change.” Ryan patted me on the back as he slid passed me and out into the hot dry air.

Instead of coming home to smiles and cheers, I will step off the plane to pity and sad eyes, if anyone was there to greet me at all. I was supposed to be getting married on leave at the church just off post where Chelsea and I met. Instead, I sat lonely and worried in a desert in Iraq while some other man comforted my fiancé. She ran off and married him in the very church that we had picked out for our nuptials just seven weeks ago. I had no desire to leave my men behind while I worried what kind of danger they were in to go home to the turmoil that waited for me there. I’d given up hope and to be honest, never really thought I would make it back.

“Flight coming in three hours. I was assured our guys would be on this one.” Rodgers called out of the sound of the helicopter engines.

“We’ll see.” Our flight had already been kicked back three times. Not that I was complaining. It was nice to be able to sleep for a few days without the sounds of mortars in the background.

I walked back inside the tent and flopped down on the thin mattress, letting my boots hang over the edge. I had just enough time to catch some sleep before making the grueling flights home. I closed my eyes and instantly became assaulted with flashbacks from only weeks prior.

January 15, 2010, Friday – Baghdad, Iraq

“Get him off the pool table, man!” Owens was panicked, pulling off his soft cap and wiping the mixture of sand and sweat from his brow.

“Where the fuck do you want us to put him?” I had never seen so much blood up close. I had seen the remnants of human bodies after a suicide bomber, but never had I watched someone’s life literally drain out of them. The green felt was overcome by the thick, sticky blood and my memories flashed to Christmas last year when I was with Chelsea, asking her to marry me.

“Get out of the way!” Chancler, the medic, yelled, wiping the sweat from his face as he pushed through the group of soldiers that had gathered round the table. “Don’t move your hands, Tudor.”

“It’s still coming out, man. I can’t squeeze his leg any tighter.”

The Iraqi Army soldier lay peacefully on the table surrounded by pool balls. “He’s too quiet!” I tried desperately to keep my voice level for the benefit of the soldiers around me while this man’s life literally slipped through my hands. His body went slack. Chancler rubbed over his stubbled jaw with bloody fingers and hung his head.

“He’s done. The shrapnel severed his femoral artery. He didn’t have a chance.”

I kept my fingers over the oozing wound as I glanced around the room at all the young, weathered men who stared back at me. I had no words, no idea what to say to make the situation any different from what it was. This was our reality. At any given moment, everything could be taken from us.

“Come on, man.” Owens pulled on my shoulders and I stumbled, not wanting to release my grip on the leg. “Let’s hit that new shower trailer before lunch.”

I looked down at my hands as crimson liquid dripped from the tips of my fingers, landing on my camel-colored boots that already had a fresh dusting of sand as fine as baby powder clinging to them.

“I’m gonna need new boots.” I could feel the shock taking over me as all rational thought escaped me.

Owens patted me on the back as he pulled me out of the block building and into the blinding sun of Baghdad.

“We’ll call your girl after you get cleaned up. She can order some and have them shipped to you.”

I startled awake and glanced down at my feet that still hung over the edge of the bed. The tips stained black from that life-changing day seven weeks prior. Not only had I witnessed my first up-close-and-personal death that I still blame myself for, but that was the day I discovered Chelsea was no longer waiting for me at home. In fact, she hadn’t been waiting for some time.

“Can you hear me?” I plugged my other ear with my finger as I yelled into the receiver.

“I hear you!” Chelsea whispered back.

“Were you sleeping?”

Chelsea rubbed her face and glanced past the man lying next to her to her alarm clock. It read 1:00 a.m.

“No,” she sighed as she carefully peeled back the comforter and slipped out of the bed. She ran her fingers through her tangled, blonde mane as she traipsed into the kitchen and turned on the light over the sink.

“I can tell when you lying.”

Chelsea smiled weakly as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and turned on the water, waiting for it to get cold.

“How’s your sister?” I leaned my forehead against the plywood wall.

“The doctors are optimistic. Everything all right?” she asked as she filled her glass and took a long gulp, suddenly parched.

“Just a long day. We patrolled for a few hours. You wouldn’t believe the heat.” I lied. I wanted to talk about anything but the incident with the Iraqi soldier. I needed to be reminded what I was fighting for.

“Shane, it’s late,” she sighed, as she set her glass down on the counter.

“I know. I needed to hear you voice.” My eyes closed, picturing her smile.

“What are you doing up?” a man’s voice called in the background.

“Who was that, Chels?” My eyes shot open. Every worry I had from the day suddenly seemed miniscule to what was going through my mind now.

“We need to talk, Shane.”

“Don’t fucking do this to me. Not today.”

“I sent you a letter.”

“I didn’t get your damn letter.” I squeezed my eyes shut, begging the tears to stay at bay while I was around other soldiers.

“This is just too hard, Shane. I can’t take the worrying.”

“You? You can’t take the worry? I wake up every morning not knowing if I’ll be alive by bedtime.”

“Don’t do that. That’s not fair.”

“Fair?” I laughed and slammed the phone down on its base.

I grabbed my rucksack and slid it over my shoulder and picked up my duffle bag. Sleep was overrated. I made my way to the defac in hopes of getting a quick bite before we needed to make our way to the plane.

“Hey! I got you a tuna. At least I think its tuna.” Owens slid over on his seat, making room for me.

“Doesn’t matter at this point,” I groaned, as I dropped my bag and adjusted the weapon that was slung across my chest.

“I hear ya. I hope my girl can cook.” Owens took a big bite of his sandwich and food oozed out of the corners of his mouth. The soldier across the table glared at him.

I shook my head. I knew Owens would come back from leave brokenhearted when his pen pal turned out to be a man or married.

“What, fobbit? Not used to seeing a real-life soldier? You want an autograph from a real American hero?” Owens joked as he wiped the food from his mouth.

“You can write it right here.” The soldier grabbed his crotch as his buddies laughed.

“I guess he only wants my initials,” Owens replied, looking at me. I just hung my head and laughed.

“King of battle my ass,” the man replied with a sneer as he got up from the table, his two friends flanking him followed suit.

“I think you hurt their feelings.” I shoved the last bit of my food into my mouth. “You know we are all on the same side.”

“Screw him. Let’s go enjoy our R and R.”

We stood and grabbed our bags before catching a ride to the airstrip on the other side of the base.

“I almost forgot. I grabbed our mail.” Owens held out several envelopes for me. I took a deep breath before grabbing the letters from his hand and slipping them into my pocket.

“Thanks.”


Jenn

February 3, 2010, Saturday Morning

 

I slid a bagel into the toaster as my eyes glazed over reading my report for work. We needed to make it look like the company was pulling in more money from their ads than it was losing, but numbers didn’t lie. That was the reason I loved math. It was the only pure form of honesty left in this world.

My food popped up and I held the papers as I made her way to the fridge to grab the cream cheese, tossing it on the counter. My phone rang and I answered it, cradling it between my shoulder and ear as I attempted to spread cream cheese on my bagel.

“You are impossible to get ahold of!”

“It’s too early for you to be so damn chipper.” I rolled my eyes as the phone slipped from my shoulder and onto the counter. “Shoot! Sorry, I dropped my phone.”

“No worries. Listen, I have some news. Are you sitting down?”

“Sure.” I rolled my eyes and adjusted my weight to my other foot and set the butter knife down to give my sister my undivided attention.

“I’m getting married!” she screamed, causing me to pull the phone from my face.

“How can you get married? You’re not even dating anyone. Not unless you count that homeless guy who likes to rub against you on the bus.” I rolled my eyes as I picked up half of my bagel and took a bite, glancing at my finger that used to hold my engagement ring.

“That was one time and I no longer take public transportation. This is serious. Don’t get mad.”

“Gail, you can’t tell someone not to get mad. Just spill it. I’m not making any promises.”

There was a long pause and I pulled the phone from my ear to make sure the battery hadn’t died.

“I’m in love with Thomas Sullivan.”

It wasn’t possible to die from a broken heart, but it felt like I was being crushed from the inside. My world imploded around me as his name replayed over and over in my head like a broken record.

“How?” My eyes brimmed with tears as I searched my memory for any moment that would lead me to believe there had been anything between the love of my life and my older sister.

“We’ve always liked each other, Jenn. He didn’t want to do wrong by you. He’s a good man.”

“Do wrong?” My words were barely a whisper. “I found…oh, God. I’m going to be sick.”

“I’m so sorry. You can’t fight true love. Besides, I thought you would be happy for me. You know it hasn’t been easy for me.”

“I hate you!” I clamped my hand over my mouth as quiet sobs racked through my body and I sank to the kitchen floor.

“How could you say that? You’re so selfish!”

I clicked the button to end the call and threw my cell phone across the kitchen as my knees hit the linoleum with a painful thud. I began counting down from twenty but it was no use. My breaths came in short, sporadic inhales until I felt dizzy and my world began to spin. I had always lived in the shade of my sister’s shadow. I didn’t mind because it kept my parents off my back and allowed me to pursue the career I wanted while they nitpicked and fussed over Gail. Now that shadow was growing and looming over me like a storm cloud that was going to consume my entire existence.

I couldn’t fight the sadness that swirled in my chest, and I was too broken to try.


Shane

March 5, 2010, Friday

 

“You think any of these German hotties would like to feel my weapon?”

I smacked Owens on the back of the head and laughed.

“You got a girl waiting at home for you.”

“Yeah, but she can’t moan in different languages.”

“How do you moan in different languages? Doesn’t it all sound the same?”

“That’s what we need to find out.”

“Looks like we’re gonna be here for a while. Unfortunately, this is the most you’re going to get to see of Germany. Soak it in, boys.” Lt. Sage laughed as he pointed over to the USO.

“Travel the world they told us.” Owens laughed as he pulled open the door to the USO tucked away inside the airport.

I followed him in through the door as I shook my head and made my way to the couch in front of the television on the left side of the room. I sat down and sighed as I pulled the letters from the inside of my ACU top.

One was from my cousin, Jake, who lived in Maine and the other was from Chelsea. I had been waiting for this letter to arrive for nearly two months. I slowly peeled it open and unfolded the letter that still smelled of her soap.

January 1, 2010

Dear Shane,

I spoke to you yesterday and you asked me what my New Year’s resolution was. I didn’t have the heart, or maybe the guts, to tell you over the phone, but I have decided to change my life. When you and I began dating two years ago, I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be. I was fresh out of college and all I saw was you. You consumed me.

I want you to know that I don’t regret a single second of the time we spent together, however little that time was, but I can’t continue to live with my life on hold as I wait for you to return. Sometimes, I am not sure you will.

The only women I have here to talk to are from the Family Readiness Group. It’s nice to have others who understand what it is like to be with a soldier and treat me like one of the wives, even though we are not married yet and I can’t attend the meetings. But it’s a double-edged sword. One of the wives from alpha battery lost her husband three weeks ago.

I can’t wait for you to die, Shane. I jump every time someone knocks on the door, terrified that it will be soldiers coming to give condolences. She had three kids. Can you imagine? I couldn’t continue on and look at those poor kids in the eye, knowing I had chosen a husband who could have died at any minute.

I know you think I am selfish and I just don’t understand, but I do. It takes an incredibly strong woman to be a soldier’s wife. I’m not that strong. I love you, Shane. You deserve better.

Love Always,

 

Chelsea

 

I hadn’t talked to her since New Year’s, and Chelsea had never mentioned anything about wanting to leave me. I angrily shoved the letter back into the envelope and crumbled it in my fist before I let it tumble out of my hands to the floor below. I had tried with everything I had inside of me to be the man my aunt raised me to be. I tried to be strong but my heart had been shattered as a little boy when my mother died and I had never been able to find all of the pieces. I had given Chelsea half my heart and it wasn’t enough. I should have refused to reenlist. She begged me not to, but I was not ready to live in the real world, to be a normal citizen.

“That what I think it is?” Owens held two mugs of beer in his hands. I just nodded and stared off toward the television. “You’re better off.”

I glared at Owens, who plopped down next to me on the vinyl couch and held out a beer.

“Think about it.” Owens took a long sip from his beer and wiped the foam from his lip with his free hand. “Could you imagine finding out when you got home? I heard of a guy who came home for mid-tour leave and found his wife in bed with some stripper.”

“Doesn’t sound so bad.” I raised my eyebrow and took a drink, trying my best not to let the pain show, but Owens knew. He was my best friend and my battle buddy.

“A male stripper,” he laughed. “It could always be worse.”

“All you do is sit around and gossip like a bunch of housewives.”

“It’s true. Happened to a gun bunny from bravo.”

I rolled my eyes and took another drink.

“What’s that one?” Owens eyed the unopened envelope in my lap.

“From my cousin.”

“Is she hot?”

He is married.”


Jenn

March 13, 2010, Saturday Afternoon

 

I was startled at the sound of the doorbell. Slowly lifting my head, I peeled off the piece of paper that stuck to my cheek.

“Just a minute!” I called out as I jumped from my seat and tried quickly to organize the mess on my desk that sat in the corner of my cramped living room. The bell rang again and I took off down the hall, pulling the hair tie from my hair and fluffing my brown locks to make myself look more presentable.

I pulled open the door to see my father standing on the other side, a scowl on his face as he slowly unwound his scarf from his neck and pulled it from the collar of his coat. He walked past me, and I stepped back making sure his boots didn’t catch my toes.

“What brings you down to this side of town, Dad?” I closed the door behind him and turned the lock. He stopped as he reached the kitchen and turned to face me.

“Your mother has been calling you for a week.”

“I’ve been really busy at work.”

He held up his hand, stopping me from finishing with my excuse.

“You missed your sister’s bridal shower. There is no excuse. Family comes first, Jennifer. Do I need to remind you of all your sister has done for you?”

“No. Of course not. I am reminded by her constantly. It’s impossible to forget.”

“Are you sassing me? Your sister has gone out of her way to make sure you had a roof over your head while you were out chasing down a silly dream.”

“It’s not like I don’t want a husband and a family, Dad. You of all people know how important a career is.” I didn’t remind him that I had found the man I wanted to spend my life with, but he also found my sister, Gail. I should have known then why she was so eager to get my things out of Thomas’s townhouse.

“Don’t you turn this around on me. I had to provide for my family and if you would make yourself presentable, you may already have had a husband and wouldn’t need to work so damn hard.”

I tugged at the bottom of my stained shirt and smoothed over the wrinkles with my fingers.

“Get dressed. Your mother has someone she wants you to meet.”

“I have a lot of work to do.”

He held up his hand again.

“Do you have any idea how much convincing it took to get this guy to agree to meet you? You stood him up twice.”

“I didn’t stand anyone up. I didn’t know I had a date. Why not save us all time and take him over to Gail’s?”

“If you answered your phone, you would have.” He wrapped his scarf back around his neck and headed for the front door. “Three o’clock at Figaro’s. Don’t disappoint us again.” With that, he left, slamming the door behind him.


Shane

March 8, 2010, Monday

 

“We are never getting out of this place,” Owens whined as he took a sip from his beer.

“Good. I’d rather be here than cleaning my stuff out of my house.”

“Why are you letting her take your place, man? He’s a doctor. Can’t he afford a place to live?”

“Dentist, and it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to live there anymore. I’ll put my stuff in storage and get a room in the barracks.” It wouldn’t be a home anymore anyway. It would just be a house full of memories I want to forget.

“Have you called her?”

“Nope.” My eyes went to the line of phones on the right-hand wall. “Nothing to say.”

“You really want to show up while that douche is in your house?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Come on,” Owens chugged what was left in his beer mug and belched, “I’ll even hold your beer for you.”

I stood and cracked my neck before taking a long sip from my beer, contemplating what I would say to Chelsea. I held out the mug for Owens and made my way to the row of phones. I quickly dialed the number before I changed my mind.

“Hello?” A man answered and my hand reflexively balled into a fist. The knuckles of my hand that gripped the phone turned bone-white as I struggled to contain my composure.

“Put Chelsea on the phone,” I demanded through clenched teeth. The receiver made a sound as it was set down, and I could hear muffled voices in the background. I glanced back at Owens who stared back at me expectantly.

“Shane, how are you?”

“I need to come get my stuff.”

“Where are you?”

“I’ll be home in a few days. We got stuck in Germany longer than we expected.” My eyes glanced around at the other soldiers smiling and calling home to their wives and mothers.

“Well,” she cleared her throat, “no need to rush. I’ve boxed up everything and got a storage unit just outside the main gate. It’s paid up until the end of your tour.”

I laid my head against the phone as I struggled to maintain my breathing.

“What about Roxy? You shove her in a damn box too?” I at least wanted to see my golden retriever before I went back. She was getting up there in age, and I was sure she wouldn’t survive through the entire deployment.

“You know I love Roxy. This is her home.”

I shook my head, feeling like my whole world was crashing down around me. This man came in and took my girl, my home, and now my dog.

“It was my home too. You can’t do this. Please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, Shane. I have to go.”

The line went dead and I slammed the receiver of the phone down several times before sinking down and burying my face in my hands. My back jerked as I silently gave into the sadness and loss that I had kept inside for weeks.


Jenn

March 13, 2010, Saturday, 3:00 p.m.

 

I stood in front of the mirror for the tenth time staring at my baby-blue dress that gathered below my chest and flowed freely out to just above my knee. I couldn’t help but think how much better it would have looked on my sister.

I was already late for the date I had no desire to go on. I grabbed my coat, ran down the flight of steps to the ground floor of my apartment, and took off down Main Street toward the restaurant. It was only two blocks away and I was certain my father had chosen it so I had no excuse not to make it.

My flats clacked against the sidewalk as I hurried past the window shoppers and into the front door of the restaurant. Pulling off my pea coat, I struggled to even my breath, suddenly realizing I had no idea who I was meeting.

“I’m meeting someone.” I furrowed my brow as I stared at the host who looked mildly amused.

“Right this way, ma’am.” He turned and made his way through the maze of tables, topped with crisp, white cloths and battery-powered candles. The walls were a deep mahogany that shined against the dim lighting.

A gentleman pushed back his chair and stood with his hand outstretched. My heart rate picked up and I had to mentally count back from twenty as I begged my anxiety to stay at bay.


Shane

March 12, 2010, Friday, Somewhere in the Sky

 

“This trip is never going to end.” Owens hit the call button above his head for the flight attendant.

“Good.” I stretched my legs out as much as I could. My nearly six-foot frame was not made for commercial airlines.

“You need to get out of this funk, man. A little strange will do you some good.”

“Whatever.” I couldn’t even imagine being with another woman. Not because I was so hung up on my love for Chelsea, but because I wasn’t sure I could trust anyone else.

“I’m serious. What are you gonna do? Go back and declare your love for her? Beat your hands on your chest like a damn caveman? They will strip your rank before you can dip your toes back in the sand.”

“I’m not going to do anything. I’m not gonna fight for a girl who doesn’t want me.”

“Can I help you?” The flight attendant smiled as she leaned in over me.

“You got any of those little peanuts?”

She smiled and stood back up, running her hands over her uniform.

“I’ll see what I can find.”

“Thanks, doll.” Owens winked at her, causing her to blush as she made her was back down the cramped isle.

“So what are you going to do?”

I shrugged as I interlocked my fingers behind my head.

“Sleep.”

I closed my eyes and hoped that I could get a few hours of shuteye before my mind began to race with memories of war, or of Chelsea. Even the good memories caused my heart to ache and I wished I could just forget that chapter in my life.

As sleep began to take over, I dreamed of my childhood and the other woman in my life I had lost.

“I want to go, too!” I cried out as my aunt picked me up and quickly took me from the living room to the kitchen. My eyes stayed fixed on my mother lying on the couch. She was breathing heavy, labored breaths with a small trail of blood running from the corner of her lip. Her eyes fixed on nothing. My aunt sat me down at a chair at the table and squatted down to my eye level.

“Mommy is very sick right now. We can’t all ride in the ambulance with her or the doctor’s won’t have room to make her all better. Do you understand?” She squeezed my hands painfully tight as tears formed in her eyes. My throat closed and I was unable to speak, to cry out that I wouldn’t leave her.

“Janet!” my uncle screamed from the living room as the medics came through the front door and past us.

At six years old, my entire world was crumbling around me. My mother and I had been on our own since I could remember.

“Has she taken anything?” One of the men asked as my aunt sobbed loudly. They surrounded my mother’s body, and I craned my neck, struggling to catch a glimpse of her.

“Pills. I don’t know what they are. She has migraines, and she has been sick for a while,” she answered, her words coming out rushed.

“I’m gonna take you over to play with Jakey. That sound fun?” Uncle Joe smiled weakly, running his hand over his scruffy brown beard as he drew my attention back to him.

I didn’t know it at that moment, but that was the last time I would see my mother alive. My cousin Jake soon became my brother and my aunt my mother. But I never forgot about my real mom. I was supposed to protect her and be the man my father never was for her and I had failed. I carried that burden with me since the first grade.


Jenn

March 13, 2010, Saturday, 3:32 p.m.

 

“I’m so sorry I’m late.”

The man at the table stood and held out his hand to me.

“Not a problem.” He shook my hand as his other one rested on the buttons of his suit jacket. His hand was soft, not a man used to getting his hands dirty for a living.

I took a seat across from him and waited for him to settle into his seat again. The waiter immediately poured me a glass of water in a wine goblet.

“Thank you.” I cleared my throat and picked up the glass to take a sip.

“You look nothing like your sister.”

A blush crept over my face, embarrassed as I set my glass back down on the table and cleared my throat.

“It’s the hair color.” I pictured my sister’s long, sweeping blonde hair and large blue eyes.

“I like the dark hair. It suits you.” He smiled. His hair was dark brown peppered with gray. He looked to be at least fifteen years older than me, which made me uncomfortable. It was like being on a date with my father.

“My name is Eusse Waters. I’m not sure what your mother told you about me.”

“Jenn, and nothing really.”

“A little mystery isn’t a bad thing.” He smiled again and I relaxed a little, letting my shoulders sag as the waiter held out our menus. He was far from my type, but a nice meal with some new company wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

He waved them away and began to speak. “We will both have the filet mignon and lobster tail. Medium-well with a house salad, please. No dressing.” His eyes went to mine. “So many useless calories in dressing and it takes away all the flavor of the vegetables, wouldn’t you agree?”

I glanced up at the waiter and let my eyes fall to the table as I slowly nodded. He had more in common with my father than age. This was going to be a long night and I hoped the wine would flow freely.

“Good. Now tell me about this job of yours. Your father says it’s very important to you.”

“It is. I don’t really want to talk about work. Tell me about you.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and forced a smile.


Shane

March 13, 2010, Saturday,

Bangor International Airport, Maine

 

“You got a pen?” Owens tapped me on the arm, startling me awake.

“What the hell? I was finally sleeping.”

“Yeah, I know. We’re about to land. Give me a pen. I want to give that flight attendant my number.”

“You have a girlfriend.” I slipped my hand inside my top and grabbed a pen and the letter I had forgotten about from my cousin.

“She’s my pen pal, and we aren’t exclusive. Who’s that from?” Owens asked as he took the pen from my hand and wrote his number on a piece of paper.

“Does she know that? It’s that letter from my cousin. He’s in Maine.”

“So are we, man. We’re about to land.”

I sat up in my seat and glanced out the window. My eyes drifted down at the envelope in my hand. I flipped it over and ripped open the top.

March 1, 2010, Tuesday

 

Dear Shane,

May spoke to Chelsea. We wanted to plan a trip down to see you when you come home. I’m sorry. No one deserves to go through that. I don’t know if this letter will reach you before your mid-tour leave, but I’d like to see you. May and I have an extra bedroom and would love to spend time with you if you get the chance. Tyler and Zack ask about you constantly. I tell them you’re a hero and out fighting the bad guys. They can’t wait to hear your war stories.

I don’t like to share news this way, but we don’t get to talk much on the phone, so here it is. May is pregnant again. She swears it feels like a girl this time. Can you believe that? After six years, our persistence paid off. Hope everything is well with you. Give me a call sometime.

Jake

 

“Everything good?” Owens leaned forward and glanced down at the letter. I quickly folded it and shoved it back inside my pocket.

“Yeah, my cousin and his wife are having another baby.”

“Nice.” Owens smiled and sank back in his seat.

“Everyone knows about Chelsea.”

“Shit.” Owens scrubbed his face with the heels of his hands. “What are you going to do?”

“Well, I ain’t going home to be humiliated. So much for being a hero.”

“No one thinks this is your fault.”

“Please buckle your seatbelts and return your seats to their upright positions,” a man announced over the intercom system.

We didn’t speak until we were wandering through the airport, shaking hands with those who had come to welcome us home safely. People cheered and thanked us for our service. An elderly man wearing a Vietnam vet hat held out his cellphone for me to use. I took it, staring down at the buttons and wondering who I could call. I was dreading stepping foot back in North Carolina.

“Hello?”

“Jake? Hey, man! How are you doing?”

“Jesus, is this Shane? How have you been?” Jake pulled the phone away from his face and yelled to his wife. “Honey, you will never believe who is on the phone!”

“You busy?”

“Busy? What? No. Just getting the kids’ dinner ready. Where are you?”

“Bangor. I’m at the airport. I want to come see you if that offer is still on the table.”

“Yeah! I’ll be there in like… Just wait for me. It won’t take me a while to get from Bridgewood.”

“I’m not going anywhere, no rush. I think I need to grab a room for the night. Maybe meet up with you in the morning?”

“Yeah, sure. Just give me a call. Don’t be a stranger. Shane, welcome home.”

“Good to be home.” I lied and hung up the phone.

“God bless you and thank you for your service, son.” The elderly man took the phone and smiled up at me.

“Thank you too, sir,” I replied and made my way over to Owens who was shoving cookies into his mouth.

“Next flight is in a few hours. Texas, baby! When’s yours leave?”

“It doesn’t. Change of plans. I’m gonna visit my cousin.”

“Woah, you can’t just do that. You’re gonna unleash a shit storm.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call whoever I need to call. I can’t go back there. You know it wouldn’t end well.”

“Yeah, all right, man. Stay safe.”

“You too. Don’t do that girl of yours wrong!” I yelled toward Owens as he began walking away. I grabbed my bags and headed out the front door of the airport. The sun was blindingly bright after being locked away in airports over the last few days. I wished I had arrived at night. It was easier to hide the sadness when no one could see into your eyes. The air was chillier than I anticipated and I was thankful I was still wearing my uniform.

I wasn’t about to waste anymore of my time. I walked through the crowds of travelers and made my way down to the main road that led into town. It wasn’t far until the rows of hotels came into sight. I glanced up at the tall buildings and opted for the local motel that was laid out in two stories. Tall buildings made you a target. My eyes scanned the other structures before I picked the area I wanted to stay. I stepped inside the lobby and dropped my bags to the floor with a thud.

“Can I help you?” The older woman from behind the desk turned to face me, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“I need a room for tonight. Two thirteen if it’s available.”

She studied me for a minute, pondering my odd room request. I wasn’t in the mood to explain.

“This isn’t the place for casual encounters. If you’re looking for something like that, you’re in the wrong town.” She raised her eyebrow in an attempt to appear authoritative. I laughed and struggled to maintain my composure.

“Yes, ma’am. Just looking for a three hots and a cot.”

“Well, we don’t serve food here, but there is a vending machine around the corner and a few restaurants within walking distance.” I nodded as she slid the key to the room across the counter. “That will be fifty-nine ninety-eight and check out is at eleven a.m. No later or I’ll have to charge you for an extra day.”

“Understood,” I replied as I pulled sixty dollars from my wallet and laid it on the counter. I grabbed the keys and my bags and made my way to my room for the night.

I was completely jetlagged and need to make a few phone calls to make sure my status wasn’t changed to AWOL.

I unlocked the door to the room and pushed it open with my bag. As I stepped inside, I crinkled my nose at the musty smell that assaulted me. I dropped my bags to the ground and groaned as I grabbed hold of my shoulder that was stinging in pain. The Army ages your body and mind quicker than any other job out there. I glanced around the room. The walls were painted a light blue that was dull and faded over the years. There was a small writing desk that sat across from the bed. It wasn’t home, but it would do. I grabbed the phone on the desk and called SATO to change my leave plans before I fell back onto the bed and closed my eyes and begged the memories to stay away long enough to get some rest.

May 5, 2008

“Can I buy you a drink?” I smiled as I sat down on the barstool next to a leggy blonde that had come in on her own.

“I can buy my own drinks.” She grinned and stared off at the rows of bottles behind the bar.

“Fair enough,” I sighed and took a sip from my mug. I glanced over my shoulder at the other soldiers who had accompanied me to the Raging Rooster, a small dive bar just outside of the base. They raised their glasses and laughed, knowing I was about to strike out. “You mind if I keep you company?”

“It’s a free country.” She smiled as her fingers traced the rim of her glass.

“That it is.” I laughed into my drink. Her eyes drifted to me as she scanned my camouflage uniform.

“I guess I should thank you for that.”

“If you really want to thank me, you can tell me your name.”

“Chelsea.”


Jenn

March 15, 2010, Monday,

Holstein and Leeman Advertising Agency, 8:00 a.m.

 

I hadn’t even gotten my blazer off before people were asking me to run errands and look over reports. I wanted to scream. This wasn’t where I expected myself to be just a day shy of my twenty-seventh birthday. I had hoped to advance further in my career as I had watched countless men do. I was nothing more than a glorified secretary, and my patience was wearing thin.

“Could you help me?” a voice called from behind me.

“Can’t anyone do anything for themselves around her?” I mumbled under my breath as I spun around in my chair. Two strong hands came down on the arms, stopping me from rotating with a sudden jolt. I was face to face with an incredibly rugged and handsome man I had never seen before.

“Where’s the fun in that, sunshine?” he asked with a wink. My heart leapt into my throat as I stared into his dark blue eyes.

“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming!” Jake called from across the hall as he made his way over. The stranger stood and held out his arms to hug him as my eyes traveled over his muscular physique.

“Sorry. I overslept.” Shane rubbed his hand over his dark, buzzed hair.

“An entire day?” Jake laughed and hit him playfully on the arm.

“Jet lag. Looks like you could use a few hours,” he laughed.

“Been a long week. This is Jenn.” Jake motioned toward me with his hand. My eyes never left Shane’s.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Shane.” He smiled politely and deep dimples settled into his sun-kissed face. He stretched out his hand for mine. I let my fingers slide across his palm as he gripped on to me tightly. His palm was rough and calloused from years of hard work. Electricity shot through me from that simple touch. I pulled my hand back and placed it on my lap. “So, congratulations are in order! I hear this one is going to be a girl?”

Jake’s face sank as he took a deep breath.

“You didn’t get my last letter? It probably went out after you already left. What day did you send that?” His eyes fell on me. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach. My hand slipped down into my blazer and I pulled out the addressed envelope and held it out to them.

“I’m so sorry, Jake. I had a lot on my mind.” It was only a matter of time before Jake found an excuse to fire me and I had just made his job easier.

“It would have missed him in transit anyway.” Jake’s hand ran over his hair as his eyes focused on the tile floor in front of him.

Shane took the letter from my hand and looked over the envelope before looking back at Jake.

“What happened?”

“It wasn’t meant to be.” He shrugged, trying to come off unfazed. “Two kids are a handful as is. The economy isn’t what it used to be.”

“I’m sorry.” He put his hand on Jake’s shoulder and gave him a sympathetic look. “At least you can keep trying,” he joked, hoping to lighten the mood. He slipped the letter into the back pocket of his jeans.

“I’m no quitter.” Jake smiled. “Sorry about Chelsea.”

Shane’s eyes glanced over at me and back at his cousin. “Already forgotten.” The muscles in his jaw ticked as he clenched it.

“Why don’t I take the day off? I know a great sushi place in town and May is just dying to see you.”

“Sounds good. I could use some real food and maybe a drink.”

“Jenn, can you handle my reports for the rest of the day?”

“Sure, no problem.” My mind reeled with the new information about Jake. I always thought he was just a mean person by nature. I never would have guessed so much was going on in his home life. I couldn’t fathom losing a child.

“Miller needs to be ready by tomorrow.”

“I won’t be in tomorrow. It’s my birthday and the start of my vacation.” I sighed inwardly as I thought of what that meant. Another day of broken promises.

“I’ll get one of the others to do it. Have a good time.”

“You too,” I called after the men as I watched them walk toward the elevator, my eyes fixed on Shane’s broad shoulders as I wondered where he had come from and who Chelsea was.


Shane

March 15, 2010, Monday, 9:00 p.m.

 

“You wouldn’t believe the blood. It was unreal. To this day, a ball slides across it and as soon as it hits the stains, it flies across the table.” I laughed, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

“You see a lot over there? Is this, like, a daily thing?” Jake held up two fingers to the bartender.

“Nah. I mean, you’re always on edge.” I shrugged as I took a drink from my mug. “No different from living in Detroit.” I laughed and grabbed my fresh mug of beer, nodding to the bartender. “It’s a job.” Joking about the reality of life at war helped me get through it. Only those who saw it over there with me truly understood the toll it took on someone’s mind. I pushed my back into the corner as my eyes scanned the other patrons.

“An honorable job.” Jake held up his mug and I followed suit, clinking the glasses together.

“Thanks.” We both drank in silence. “I think I’ve lost my tolerance.”

“Mine gets stronger every day.” Jake took a drink of his beer as his eyes fixed on a neon beer sign behind the bar.

“I’m sorry, man. I know you guys wanted a big family.”

“Everything happens for a reason, right?”

I nodded but didn’t agree. What was the reason my mother died when I was so young? Why did I lose the woman I planned on spending my life with? I had seen things overseas that would haunt me for the rest of my life and no one would ever understand. There was no great plan in life. Sometimes bad things happened to good people. Life was nothing more than a series of events with no rhyme or reason.

“I know you probably hate Chelsea right now.”

“I don’t want to talk about her.” I glanced over at my cousin, my brother, and narrowed my eyes.

“I don’t pretend to understand what you have gone through and I can’t even begin to fathom how hard it was for you. But it is hard for all of us here too. It takes a strong person to be able to deal with that. When her sister was diagnosed with cancer, she needed someone. She was all alone down there. It’s life.”

“I get it. It happens all of the time. No big deal. I’m better off on my own.” I sighed and took another drink wishing I could be spared the humiliation of talking about her.

“Don’t do that, Shane. You don’t have to be the superhero. You can have feelings. No one would blame you if you were hurt or angry.”

“I wasn’t there for her. I let her down. I don’t deserve to be angry.” But I was. I was angry at myself. Had I not reenlisted in the Army, I would still be the one holding her at night and chasing away all of her fears.”

“No one sees it that way, Shane. Life throws us curve balls and we either dodge them or let them knock us down. This one knocked you down, but you can get back up. The Shane I know is a fighter. What happened to that guy?”

“The same could be said for you.” I raised my eyebrow.


Jenn

March 15, 2010, Monday, 9:00 p.m.

 

The phone rang again. I reached out to my side, never letting my eyes leave my book as I grabbed my phone and turned the volume all the way down. A text message buzzed through while it was still in my hand.

Answer your phone. It’s an emergency. – Mom

I threw my book on my bed and dialed my mother’s number. I was sure what constituted an emergency would be my mother finally remembering my birthday. I breathed a sigh of relief, happy someone had remembered.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as soon as the call connected.

“Well, isn’t this nice,” my mother replied.

“Mom, you said it was an emergency. I’m very busy.”

“Why haven’t you called Eusse?”

“I’m not interested,” I replied with my teeth clenched as I lay back onto my bed and clutched my pillow in my arms. I mentally began to count down from twenty as I closed my eyes.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were so picky. It’s not like you’re getting any younger,” my mother snapped angrily.

I didn’t need reminding that in only a few hours, I would be another year older and still alone. But that was still no reason to settle for someone like Eusse.

“I’ll think about it.” I hated the way my voice shook as I spoke to her.

“Jenn, you have embarrassed me enough with this man. You need to grow up and stop acting like a child.”

“This is my life and I will see who I chose. Your name is about to be kicked off that list.” Anger consumed me as I struggled to keep my composure.

“You watch your tone, young lady.”

“I’m tired of you and everyone else in my life telling me what to do and who to see!” I turned off my phone and slipped it into the stand beside my bed. I grabbed the tiny metal cord that dangled from beneath the lampshade and pulled it, drowning myself in darkness. My mind replayed the date I had with Eusse as I drifted off into sleep.


Jenn

March 13, 2010, Saturday, 5:43 p.m.

 

“No, thank you.” I waved away the wine bottle that Eusse held over my glass. It was our second one and I was more than a little tipsy after barely touching my steak and lobster. I would have been much happier with a cheeseburger and fries. “I don’t think I can hold anymore.”

Eusse smiled, revealing deep lines around his mouth and eyes. He was much older than I was, but he had aged well. He took his credit card from his wallet and slid it over the bill, nodding once at the waiter who quickly came to remove it.

“I hear you live nearby. Your mother said your place is…quaint.”

I laughed, knowing that what my mother meant was unlivable. She hated my place, which made me love it even more. It was mine and my decision.

“It is very cozy.” Picking up my glass, I drank the last drops of my pinot noir.

“I’d like to see it.” He removed a pen from his pocket as the waiter placed the check and card back on the table.

“Have a great evening.” The waiter smiled before backing away to tend to his other tables.

“I don’t take people back to my place. It’s not much for entertaining.” The truth was, I didn’t know this man and had no desire to extend the date any longer.

“At least let me be a gentleman and walk you home. It wouldn’t be right for me to let you wonder the streets in your condition.”

There was no polite way to tell him no. He was doing what any gentleman would do, so I simply nodded and stood up. He rounded the table and looped his arm in mine.

“Shall we?”

It was still early and the blast of sunlight as the left the restaurant was unexpected. I wasn’t much of a drinker and the alcohol seemed to affect me tenfold once I was standing.

“That was some really strong wine.” My cheeks flushed.

“Aged to perfection. Much like yourself.” He grinned down at me. His words didn’t seem sweet and caring the way he intended and I cringed.

“This is my place. I should get inside. I have lots of work to do.” We came to a stop in front of my building and I pulled my arm from his, taking a step back.

“You live on the second floor?” he asked, his eyes drifting up the length of the building. I nodded.

“At least let me walk you to your door. Those steps look like they could be treacherous even on a good day.”

I hesitated but stepped inside as he pulled open the main door to the building. His hand found the small of my back as we made our way up to the second story.

“This is me.” I stopped in front of my apartment door and grabbed my keys from my handbag.

“I enjoyed your company very much. It’s a shame to end it here.”

“I had a lovely time, but I have work to do.”

He leaned forward to give me a quick kiss to end the evening, but his hands circled my waist and pulled my body against his. I shoved back against his chest, but that didn’t deter him. His tongue forced its way inside my mouth and out of sheer panic, I bit down, my mouth instantly filling with the taste of something metallic. He pulled back immediately, his hand under his chin catching a trickle of blood that seeped out of his lips.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” His tone was sharp and angry.

“I’m sorry. I must have had more to drink than I realized. I’m really not feeling well. I think I need to take a nap.” I fumbled with my keys in the lock and pushed open the door, stepping inside and holding it closed so only my face was visible. “Thank you for dinner.” I smiled and pushed the door closed, turning the deadbolt. I sighed as I let my back fall against the door, sinking down to my knees as I listened to his footsteps retreat down the wooden staircase.


Shane

March 15, 2010, Monday, 9:57 p.m.

 

May gave me a one-armed hug as I entered their home, flashing her husband, Jake, a stern look.

“The kids have been struggling to keep their eyes open waiting for you.” She folded her arms over her chest, her curly red hair hanging haphazardly in her face as she narrowed her charcoal-gray eyes at him.

“I’m sorry, May. We needed some guy time.” Jake pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her softly on the forehead. Her stern look softened and gave way to a smile.

“Not sure if it’s the alcohol or the suddenly display of affection, but I think I’m going to be sick.” I joked as I rubbed a hand over my eyes.

“Go say goodnight to the kids,” May called after me as I stumbled toward the kitchen and filled a glass of water from the sink. I nodded and gulped down the cool liquid before wondering back into the hallway. I pushed open the first door on the left that was cracked open with a television illuminating the walls.

“Hey!” I whispered loudly, but no one responded. I smiled as I tiptoed inside and shut off the television before heading back to the living room where Jake and May had settled into the couch in each other’s arms.

“They are out.” I smiled. “I think it’s past my bedtime too.”

“I set up the guest room for you. Last door on the right,” May replied as she snuggled into Jake’s chest.

“Thanks.” I stumbled back down the hall and pushed open the guest bedroom door. I felt the wall until my fingers flicked the light switch. It was blinding and took me a moment to be able to look around.

The walls were covered in pictures of the family. A small desk sat in one corner and an old futon against the far wall. A few boxes were stacked neatly beside the door. I flipped the light back off and fell onto the bed, not even bothering to take off my shoes.


Jenn

March 16, 2010, Tuesday, My Birthday

 

My birthday began uneventfully. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in past 6:30 a.m., even though I had taken the day off work.

The sun streamed through the sheer curtains, making it impossible to ignore the day. I climbed out of bed, still dressed in my clothes from the night before. As my eyes connected with my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I cringed.

I looked like death, which was fitting for someone who had virtually given up on every aspect of her life. I turned on the sink and splashed cold water on my face, letting it run over my chin and down the length of my throat. Thomas and I had made plans to go on a two-week cruise for my birthday. I had been saving up my vacation days at work all year. That, like everything else in my life, was just another disappointment. I was too embarrassed to cancel my vacation time and give any credibility to the rumors that circulated at work about me.

I squeezed some toothpaste onto my brush and began to clean my teeth as tears fell from my eyes. I glanced over at my nightstand where my phone sat. I sighed and spit the toothpaste into the sink. Visions of Gail waking up this morning next to Thomas turned my stomach. I rinsed my mouth out with water and decided getting out of my apartment was what I needed. Pulling my dress over my head, I let it fall to the floor in the bathroom as I walked back to my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a pale yellow T-shirt from the laundry basket and pulled them on. Picking up my purse, I glanced over at my phone. It was better to leave it than to spend the day being reminded how no one cared.


Shane

March 16, 2010, Tuesday, Too Early

 

“Turn off the light!” I yelled as I pulled the pillow tighter over my head. May stepped in the doorway and laughed.

“That’s the sun and it isn’t going down anytime soon. Get up and shower. You will feel and smell better.”

“Fine.” Groaning, I let the pillow slip onto the floor. The futon was less comfortable than the cots I had the pleasure of sleeping on in Iraq. I never thought I would miss those.

I pushed myself from the bed and yawned as I stretched the tight muscles in my back.

“Jake brought your bags in this morning. He had to run to the office. Something about paperwork. He should be back any time,” May called from the kitchen.

“Thanks.” I stepped out of the room and grabbed my duffle bag. I didn’t have much in the way of civilian clothes but enough to get me by until I could do laundry or go shopping. I dragged the overstuffed bag into my room and pushed the door shut with my foot. Grabbing my dog tags that were tucked below my T-shirt, I pulled them off my neck so could use the key for the lock that held my bag closed.

I dug out fresh jeans and a T-shirt before slipping my tags back over my neck. Even though the bag had rarely been open overseas, everything was dusted with a fine coating of sand. Not the kind of sand you would find on a beach in America. It was more like baby powder and impossible to get rid of.

Grabbing the base of my shirt, I pulled it over my head. I unbuttoned my pants, letting them ride low on my hips as I grabbed my change of clothes and made my way to the bathroom across the hall.

The walls were painted a pale yellow and little rubber ducks covered nearly every surface, including the back of the toilet. I laughed a


Date: 2015-01-29; view: 779


<== previous page | next page ==>
Neo: Ok. You got yourself into this. You can get yourself out. | THE OPEN WIDOW
doclecture.net - lectures - 2014-2024 year. Copyright infringement or personal data (0.073 sec.)