The Second Degree of Action

“Retreaters” are those who take actions in reverse—probably in order to avoid negative experiences that they imagine will come as a result of taking action. The retreater personifies the “fear-of-success” phenomenon. He or she has experi- enced results that were not fruitful (or that he or she did not perceive as fruitful) and has therefore decided to avoid taking further actions that might prompt this to occur again. Like the “do-nothings,” retreaters justify their responses and believe it is in their best interest to remain operating at their current level. Retreaters claim to be doing so in order to avoid more rejection and/or failures; it is almost never the actual rejection or failure that has impacted them. More often than not, it’s their impression and evaluation of what failing and rejection mean that is causing them to retreat.

Like doing nothing, retreating is an action that requires effort and hard work. Watch any healthy child, and you will see that it is not normal human behavior to retreat but rather to advance and conquer. Usually retreating only comes about as a result of being told to do so over and over. So many of us are instructed during childhood, “don’t touch that,” “be careful,” “don’t talk to him,” “get away from that,” and so on and then start to adopt retreat as an action. We tend to be pulled away from the very things about which we’re most curious. Although it’s often for our own good and supposedly keeps us safe, it can be difficult to rebound from these years of “holding back”—which might be why it’s so difficult for so many of us to try new things later in life. We might even be encouraged to retreat by a work associate, friend, or family member who believes we are “too ambitious” or focused on a single area of our lives.

Regardless of the reasons why retreaters move them- selves in the opposite direction of goals, the outcome is usually the same. I would imagine that everyone reading this knows someone who retreats, and perhaps you can even see how

you retreat in some area of your life. Any realm in which you have assumed you can no longer advance and improve—and are now deciding that there is “nothing you can do”—would be considered an area of retreat. “The stock market sucks; I’m never investing in it again”—retreat. “Most marriages fail; I’m staying single”—retreat. “The acting business is too tough; I’ll just be a waiter for the rest of my life”—retreat. “The job market is terrible; no one is hiring—I am filing for unemployment”—retreat. “I can’t control the outcome of the election, so I’m not even going to bother to vote”—retreat! And notice the one thing that each of these scenarios has in common: They all still require some kind of action to be taken, even if it is just making a decision.

Those who retreat will spend a lot of time justifying wfty they are retreating. There is usually no arguing with these individuals, as they have typically convinced themselves com- pletely that they’re merely doing what they need to survive. They will then spend as much energy justifying their decision to retreat as the most successful person will in creating success. The best thing you can do for retreaters is to give them this book and allow them to identify for themselves that they are retreating. Once a person sees the four degrees of action and realizes that each requires energy, he or she may start to make other, healthier choices. After all, if you’re going to expend effort, why not do so in the direction of success?

Date: 2016-04-22; view: 676