Prostitutes are nasty

Our group of four entered a real sleazy town, it was basically a pirates' cove town where pirates, thugs, and assorted baddies resided when they weren't attacking, raping, and pillaging the neighborhood. The group of us (myself a monk, a fighter, cleric, and mage) were searching for the whereabouts of a lady kidnapped from a prominent merchant from our hometown whom we owed favors too for past help. The trail at this point led to this town where he (the supposed ring leader of the kidnappers) had been known to frequent. Of course, none of the "regulars" there wanted anything to do with a bunch of strangers coming in and we were getting nowhere. Of course, my character wanted nothing to do with this place and considered the whole area to be respite with creeps. Our fighter though was a big burlesque guy and found the prostitution there to be a wonderful, wonderful place. Our cleric (who being female had a rough time with the people of the area) basically stuck by my side and the two of us spent more time searching for the damn fighter than getting information on the kidnapping. Of course, he struck it rich with a talkative hooker and found that the person we were looking for was holdup in the harbor on a boat.

Eventually we snuck down there, boarded and captured the criminal, rescued the lady, then had to battle our way back out. altogether, we were hounded by:

a) the criminal's pals

b) some other rouges who were smitten by our lovely cleric and wanted her for their own

c) two separate prostitutes who say they are carrying our fighter's child (They can't both be, can they? It must be a scam, at least HE says so...)

d) the "ladies'" pals and family who both insist on marriage or financial reimbursements for what he did to these poor ladies

Well, we made it out fine. Returned to our hometown where we're sort of heroes now, but in danger whenever we leave. Ahhh... what a life adventurers leave. THE MORAL: Don't let a fighter run rampant in a sleazy town filled with lots of lovely prostitutes.

– Toa the monk

A cleric's penance

Although our group engaged in sexual encounters (old favorites like the innkeeper's daughter, the farmer's wife, etc.), it usually had severe consequences. After the treatment of one character, a cleric, the group stayed clear of these opportunities.

This character, a cleric, was seduced by a bar wench during one of our stops. Although the sex was supposedly great, soon after the cleric began to notice a tingling sensation in his groin. Sure enough, his deity had struck him with a venereal disease, and no spell could take it off! The condition became more debilitating until finally, after intense prayer, his god forgave him as long as a certain penance was followed. This involved the usual series of prayers, and one extra condition: on the ground there magically appeared a bag of holding (usable only for the purpose it was intended), and inside was a large supply of BURLAP UNDERWEAR! There was enough for the cleric to change three times daily, which, of course, he was required to do! We all steered clear of barmaids after that!

– Mario R. Borelli

A Barbarian's Boo-Boo

Our adventuring group was exploring a keep of some type looking for the main baddie who was female. When we found her bedroom, she wasn't there. Of course, we began looking through it when one of the male barbarian PC's (played by a female) accidentally spilled some perfume on himself which had strange properties. The Barbarian and the elven female mage (played by a male) had a certain sudden uncontrollable urge to make use of the nearby bed (that lasted for about 2 hours game time not real time). By this time everyone was laughing hysterically because their characters were standing outside the open door and were watching the entertainment. Now after everyone stopped laughing (and who wouldn't with a low level barbarian and a mid-level mage going at it) the GM had asked questions and rolled his dice and wouldn't ya just know that the mage got pregnant (snicker).

What made the whole thing so interesting was mainly the fact that the characters are both opposite gender from their players (and the mage doesn't really know she's pregnant yet).

The GM used The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge to make the whole tower and adventure. The GM kept flippin' through and referring to the guide.

– Xandar

Date: 2016-04-22; view: 638