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I grab the journal and write: Deceit. Danger. A secret.

“Here you go,” Marabella announces, setting a plate in front of me.

Mentally shaking myself back into the present, I shut the journal. “Thank you. I can’t wait to try it.”

She sits down and studies me. “You look tired, sweetie. Did the commotion wake you up last night?”

I hesitate, pretty sure she knows I wouldn’t have known about the alarm if I wasn’t with Kayden. “I heard something about it. It was Giada, right?”

“Yes. She’s a troubled girl. She’s horribly angry at Kayden, when he’s done nothing but help her. She’s missing a female role model and I’m just too old to connect with her. I was hoping you might try?”

I’m shocked at this request, since I am as new to the castle as I am to their lives, and will easily be gone before I’ve ever become settled—which tells me she must be desperate to help Giada. “Of course I will. How is she today?”

Disapproval etches her brow. “Hungover. She was throwing up at the doorstep last night. She couldn’t remember the passcode to our tower, but she’s known it for years. Or rather, she claimed it didn’t work. When she finally stopped throwing a fit, she was embarrassed and crying. Poor child is just lost.”

“I guess she’s in bed today?”

“Adriel made her get up and work in the store. Maybe you could stop by and visit with her.”

“Of course. I’ll be happy to. I can stop by the store after I eat and meet her.”

“Well, today might be bad. She’s pretty foul.”

I laugh. “You should see me when I have PMS.”

She chuckles. “Warning noted.”

“You’ll be glad I remember that about myself.”

We share a laugh and she glances at a square, black-rimmed clock on the wall. “Oh, goodness. I’m sorry, but I have to head out to an appointment. I’ll check on you this afternoon. But before I leave, Kayden left something for you.”

A mix of curiosity and more than a little anxiety rushes through me. What could he have left me? She pushes to her feet and walks to the cabinet by the sink, returning with a box she sets on the table. “Here you go.” She glances at my plate. “I’m keeping you from eating.”

“No. You’re the reason I get to eat such great food.”

“My pleasure.” She hesitates. “I think it will be good for Giada to have you here, but it’s even better for Kayden. I’ve been worried about him since . . .” She waves it off. “It’s been a long time since any one woman has held his attention.”

This news both pleases me and confirms my worries: I’ve torn down walls he simply doesn’t want down. I downplay her observation. “I was mugged and left with no resources. He kind of inherited me.”

Her lips curve. “Oh now, missy. Don’t discount what’s happening between you two. Kayden would have found another way of helping you if he didn’t want you here, and I see how he looks at you. I’ll see you soon.” She breezes out of the room, and I am left thinking of my exchange with Kayden. Do you want me here? I’d asked, and his reply had been, Too much.

I shove aside my plate and grab the brown box Kayden has left for me. Flipping open the lid, I find a separate white box with an Apple logo on top, plus a note:

I asked for bubble proof but they tell me that feature is still in development.

I laugh and keep reading.

You’ll find the following numbers programmed into the phone:

Me

Matteo

Nathan

Marabella

Adriel

These people are my people, so now they’re yours.

—Kayden

My chest tightens on that last phrase, which implies I’m staying in his life. Considering I’m running for my life, which makes a person think about her end of days, he’s given me all the encouragement I need. I open the box and remove the phone, quickly finding Kayden’s number and punching the “call” button. He answers on the second ring.

“Ella?”

His voice does funny things to my stomach. “Hi,” I say, sounding a bit breathless.

“Is something wrong?”

I feel like we’re replaying the conversation from outside his bedroom last night. “No. I just . . . When are you coming back?”

“Why?”

“Because . . . the David thing. He didn’t mean anything to me. I don’t know why I was with him, but I think . . . I was lost, and I feel found with you. I know that’s crazy, because we just met—but you said ‘everything or nothing,’ and we are not nothing. But we can’t get to everything if you shut me out.”

Silence crackles on the line. I wait. And wait. And I’m going crazy when he finally says, “There are things about me you don’t know.”

“You said that already, and there are things about me we both don’t know. What I do know, though, is that I need you, and I’m not alone in this feeling. I know I’m not.”

“Ella—”

“Please don’t shut me out.”

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

I do not miss the way he phrases this sentence to avoid the word home, when he’s lived here since he was ten. “Okay,” I whisper, feeling defeated.

His voice softens. “We’ll talk when I get there.”

“Okay,” I say again.

“Ella. Sweetheart.”

“Just come back.” I end the call before he can say something else I don’t want to hear.

Everything or nothing. I don’t think I can do in between. I need to get my memory back. That’s all there is to it. I reach for the journal and my hand shakes, partly from hunger, and partly from the emotional toll that is Kayden Wilkens. I pull my sandwich forward and start eating, opening the folder and studying the new me who has replaced the old me. An hour later, I’ve eaten every bite of my wonderful sandwich, Kayden hasn’t returned, and I’ve spent way too much time drawing butterflies. And I’ve read my file at least ten times and just can’t do it again. I place my plate in the sink and leave the folder, box, and journal on the table, and decide to do as promised and try to make friends with Giada.

I stick the phone in my back pocket and make my way to the stairwell, eager to see this store filled with collectibles. A little history that’s not my own will be welcome right about now. I take the winding staircase to the main foyer, peeking into the room to the left, thrilled to discover a giant library with overstuffed chairs, a desk, a fireplace, and walls and walls of books. This will be my next stop.

I punch the button to open the dungeon door to the main room, reminding myself there is a code to reenter that I thankfully remember. Once I’m in the main foyer, I glance up at the ceilings, the trim wrapped in roses, and again, there is a stirring of something familiar that I can’t quite remember. I let it go and face the fact that I’m stalling, not exactly eager to face Adriel, admitting to myself that I am afraid he will stir some memory I don’t want to exist.

Frustrated at the idea, I hurry up the center stairs, a red-and-cream-colored rug beneath my feet and thick, shiny wooden railings at my sides, greeting the next level by another tower dungeon door. I glance left and right to find a stairwell on either side. Had Kayden said the store was street level? That’s the logical place, so I decide the door is the right choice. Noting a button to the left, I press it. The heavy wooden surface lifts rather quickly and I enter what resembles the corner of a museum, complete with two huge white pillars on either side of the room, shelves filled with books on the walls, and glass cases here and there. It’s an intriguing place that begs to be explored.

I walk forward, noting rooms to the left and right framed by beautiful arches, etched in more roses, and I don’t know why roses stand out to me, even call to me, but never fully evolve into a memory. Shaking off the thought, I continue, reaching the front of the store to find an inviting sitting area with high-backed brown chairs facing the public entrance, framed by bookshelves and decorated with stone tables a shade darker than the floors. To my right is a glass counter containing statues, and behind it is a doorway, voices lifting from inside. A male and a female are arguing in Italian, and I feel more than a tad awkward. I can’t speak Italian, but they might not know that and it feels like I’m eavesdropping. Part of me wants to leave. Another just wants this first meeting with Adriel to be over.

I inhale and make my decision. I’m here. I’m doing this. I call out, “Hello!”

Their conversation stops abruptly. I wait. And wait, worried about the first moment Adriel appears until finally it happens. He appears in the archway of the door, his features hard, even sharp, his black hair thick and curly, his deep green eyes fixed on me. He also has a long scar down his cheek that I have a bad feeling came from treasure hunting, and a picture is forming. People die and get hurt when they work for The Underground. Kayden could die or get hurt, and this realization is not a good one. I’m falling for him, and I fear that is a dangerous proposition in ways I have yet to fully understand.

“Ella,” he says in greeting, his jaw clenched hard, his navy collared shirt and dark jeans framing a large and muscular body. “Does Kayden know you’re here?”

I wait a moment to reply, and this time the blank space in my mind is pure bliss. I don’t know him, and I bite back a joyful smile he won’t understand. “Of course Kayden knows I’m here,” I reply, only to receive a skeptical arched brow, and I quickly amend with, “I mean, not exactly. I’m in the castle, so it’s logical I’d end up here.”

“I doubt he’d agree,” he says, his tone downright cynical.

Puzzled, I open my mouth to dig for more information when a brunette with olive skin appears beside him, managing to look quite pretty in an emerald silk top and jeans despite the dark circles under her eyes. “Kayden hates this tower,” she informs me.

“Giada,” Adriel snaps in warning.

She grimaces. “Right. Keep my mouth shut. Anything else you want, ‘master’?” She glances at me. “You must be Ella. What was it like being mugged?”

The random, out-of-the-blue question has me blanching. Adriel gives me a warning look that I read as “step cautiously,” though I’m not quite sure why. She’s his family. “Scary,” I reply, “and it came with a bonus headache.”

“I bet it’s not as bad as mine.”

“A different kind of headache. Neither is fun. Hopefully yours came with some fun in advance.”

“Don’t encourage her,” Adriel snaps. “She could have ended up mugged like you did.” He cuts her a warning look. “Or raped.”

She glowers at him. “Shut up, Adriel. I’m not doing anything you didn’t do.” She rounds the counter and walks away.

I close the distance between myself and Adriel, stopping at the opposite side of the glass from him. “Sorry,” I say softly. “I think I made that worse.”

“Most things do.” He lowers his voice. “She has a big mouth and we all want to stay alive. Your story to her is the same as your story to Gallo, which means amnesia right now. Understand?”

“Yes. Of course. And Marabella? Is it okay to speak honestly around her?”

“Yes. You can tell her anything. Same thing applies to Nathan and Matteo. Just not Giada.” He gives me a probing stare. “Any improvement in your memory?”

There is no concern in his voice or his eyes, just an obvious disapproval that hits like a slap. He doesn’t want me here. I don’t know why, but considering the death of his father, I would guess he thinks I’m dangerous. Like I thought last night, when that alarm went off. I am dangerous. And selfish for being here. “I should go,” I say, and when I would move away, he shocks me by covering my hand and holding it on the counter.

“What just happened?” he demands softly.

“You don’t want me here. I don’t blame you.”

“Did we have a conversation I wasn’t a part of?”

“You didn’t require words to get your point across. So I repeat. You don’t want me here.”

“I don’t want you dead, either. And without us, you would be.”

Either. That’s the word I latch onto. “But I bring Niccolo to your doorstep. I get it.” I glance at my hand, then back at him. “Please let me go.”

“Don’t tell Kayden I made you feel unwelcome.”

Not don’t go, but don’t tell. “If you hide it from him as well as you did from me, I’m certain he already knows.”

The door to my left chimes and opens. Adriel releases my hand and curses under his breath. I rotate quickly and my heart falls at my feet.

Detective Gallo is standing inside the shop.

fifteen

He’s dressed in a gray suit with a blue tie, both a bit rumpled like his dark brown hair. While I’m certain his gritty, rough-edged good looks appeal to many women, I’m not one of them. All I see is anger, and too much trouble to feel safe.

“There you are, bella,” he says, his gray eyes lighting on me. “I was surprised you left the hospital without telling me, but I’m even more surprised to find you here, after Kayden told me you took off on your own.”

Though I wasn’t prepared for this meeting, I somehow pull a rabbit from a hat for an answer. “I saw the hospital bill, and I didn’t want to add a heart attack to my concussion. I was going to call you Monday.”

“Today is Monday.”

I laugh, hoping it doesn’t sound as fake as it feels. “I still have a concussion. I thought it was Sunday—but I’ve slept the past two days away.”

“I got the impression you left in a hurry and were worried about something.”

I stick to my story, hoping it matches what Kayden has told him. “As I said, it was the bill. I thought if I tricked Kayden into thinking I left, he’d leave. It was a silly, concussion-induced idea, and that’s really quite embarrassing.”

He arches a cynical brow, and who can blame him? It’s a ridiculous story. “You must be feeling better to be up and about.”

Adriel steps to my side. “She remembered part of her name,” he interjects, clearly not wanting me to say more. “We’re hoping the rest comes soon.”

Gallo arches a brow my direction. “Really?”

“Yes,” I agree, following the lead Adriel has given me. “My name is Eleana. Actually Rae, but I go by my middle name, Eleana.”

“Eleana,” Gallo repeats. “Beautiful name.” He couldn’t be less sincere. He glances at Adriel. “Eleana and I would like a few minutes to chat alone.” He cuts me another look. “If that’s okay with you?”

The many ways this could go wrong has me regretting my trip to the center tower. “Of course.”

Gallo eyes Adriel. “Is there a private place we can chat?”

Adriel motions to the sitting area. “It’s all yours,” he offers, but he doesn’t move.

Gallo doesn’t look pleased but waves me toward the sofa. I head in that direction when I hear Giada say, “Detective Gallo,” and I turn to find her standing in front of him, looking rather smitten as they have an exchange in Italian. I glance at Adriel. My stomach sinks to the floor with the certainty there is trouble brewing, and I quickly attempt to avert it.

“Detective,” I interrupt, thankful to easily draw his attention my way, “Kayden and I have dinner plans tonight, and I need to rest beforehand. So if we could chat now?”

He glances in my direction, his expression impassive. “Of course.” He eyes Giada and wraps up their conversation with softly spoken Italian, his tone bordering on intimate.

Adriel gives Giada no time to respond, snapping out an angry-sounding reply. Giada visibly pales and whirls on her brother, glaring at him before rushing away, while Adriel fixes Gallo in a cutting look. “Make this meeting with Eleana fast,” he clips, giving us his back as he rounds the counter and disappears into his office, leaving the door open.

Gallo sighs and scrubs the one-day stubble on his jaw. “I’m not making any friends here, but I care about protecting people, not becoming buddies with people.” He motions toward the couch. “Shall we?”

Remembering how shredded Kayden was last night, I’m reminded that this man’s motives are not wholly pure. I nod, and claim a chair by the sofa. “Why were you here at three in the morning?” I ask as he sits down on the stone table in front of me, rather than on the sofa. Too close for comfort, considering I can see the blue flecks in his gray eyes.

“I was worried about you. And I couldn’t miss Giada at the doorstep in need of help.”

In other words, he’s watching the castle, and probably chose this time to visit because he knows Kayden’s not here. He reaches in his pocket and produces a small plastic box. “Fingerprint kit. Let’s get these done, and then we’ll chat.”

His push to go right to the prints has me thinking again that he’s either suspicious of me, or working for Niccolo and trying to prove I’m Ella. Whatever the case, it hits me that by denying my returned memory, I’ve given him the ticket to set me free, thanks to Matteo’s handiwork.

“Thank you,” I say as he opens the box and removes an ink pad. “I’m eager to have my identity back.”

“Exactly why I can’t quite get my head around you leaving the hospital like you did.”

“Concussions don’t make for logical thinking,” I say. “I felt claustrophobic and embarrassed about the bills that were piling up. Thankfully, Kayden found me and I slept off the insanity.”

“Let’s get this done and we’ll delve into the many shades of Kayden Wilkens.” He holds the ink pad out to me. “Press your fingers on top.”

I do as he instructs and then push down on a hard card he holds out to me. “That’s it,” he says, offering me a tissue, which I accept. “We’ll have the results later today.”

“That fast? Wonderful.”

He sticks the kit back in his pocket and gives me a steady inspection. “Look, Eleana. I know this castle and Kayden’s money are alluring, even a fantasy, but you don’t know him. Jumping into a relationship with a stranger, while you have amnesia, in a strange country, could be dangerous.”

Gallo stirs thoughts of him that I shove aside. Kayden is nothing like that man. “Before you go on, Detective Gallo,” I say, “you’ve made it evident that you have a personal bone to pick with Kayden, and it’s hard to feel protected when that’s your motivation. You can’t tell me you’d be sitting outside a house at three in the morning if Kayden wasn’t involved.”

He leans his elbows on his knees, even closer now than before. “People who become intimately involved in his life die. I get chills just being in this place.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He didn’t tell you what happened here?”

Dread fills me. “What happened?”

“Five years ago, the prior owner of the castle—”

“Kevin.”

“Yes. Kevin, and Kayden’s fiancée, Elizabeth, who was living here, were both slaughtered. Kayden was conveniently gone.”

I am gutted by the news, understanding Kayden better now than ever, and I’m also angered on his behalf, lashing out in response. “Convenient? Are you accusing him of actually hurting the people he loved?”

“People die when he’s around. That is a fact. Two years ago—”

“I know what happened two years ago. You act like he was the cause.”

“The Underground. Do you know them?”

“He told me about them.”

“Tell me what you know.”

“They find things for people for a price.”

“And do you think what they do is legal?”

I shrug. “He did work for the police.”

“Kayden is the kingpin of a massive, dangerous organization. He makes the decisions. He leads them to hell, and if you think he doesn’t do what he has to do to keep his slate clean, you’re going to end up dead like the rest of them. I’m trying to protect you.” He softens his voice. “Please listen to me, Eleana. I am truly trying to protect you.”

“No, you’re trying to turn me against him.” I stand. “I think you need to leave.”

“Yes. You need to leave,” Kayden says.

At the sound of Kayden’s voice Gallo grimaces, and I’m relieved this meeting is over. Gallo turns and Kayden’s stare is pure contempt. Gallo doesn’t cower. “I am helping Eleana find her way back to her life—not yours.”

“Leave, Gallo.”

Gallo’s lips twist sardonically. “I’m not quite done here.”

“Leave,” Kayden bites out. “Now.”

Gallo glances at me. “How should I reach you to give you the fingerprint results?”

“Kayden,” I say, making it quite clear which side of the line drawn between these two I stand on. “Call Kayden.”

He smirks. “I’ll just come back by.” He turns and rounds the table to stand face-to-face with Kayden.

“Move along,” Kayden instructs. “You’re on private property and I’m fully within my rights to throw you out. Actually, make my day and give me a reason to toss you out the door myself.”

I hold my breath, aware Gallo would like to push Kayden, and the heavy seconds that follow are eternal. Finally the detective saunters toward the door, pausing with his hand on the knob. “You know where to find me, Eleana,” he states firmly, and leaves.

Adriel moves in behind him, locking the door while Kayden closes the distance between us, his fingers clasping my wrist. Without a word, he begins leading me toward the back exit. I hurry to keep up as we pass Giada; I don’t look at her and neither does Kayden. He’s angry. So very angry, and not just at Gallo. We reach the door and he punches in a code to exit, and it’s barely lifted before he’s ducking under and taking me with him. He doesn’t wait for it to close, leading me several feet, and out of hearing range of Adriel or Giada, before turning me to face him, his hands settling on his hips.

“What part of ‘I don’t want you in the store’ did you not understand?”

My defenses prickle. “You didn’t say not to come to the store. You said you didn’t want me to work here.”

“Semantics.”

“No. You specifically said you didn’t want me to work here. That’s a different thing than telling me you don’t want me here. This is your house, and you’ve taken care of me. I would have respected your request if you had made it. And I only came because Marabella asked me to try and bond with Giada.”

“Marabella,” he repeats flatly.

“Yes, and please don’t be mad at her. She cares for you and Giada deeply. It would hurt her to feel she caused this today.”

“What did you tell Gallo?”

“I told him I only remembered my first name, and made sure he fingerprinted me. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“What did he say to you?”

“He told me The Underground is dangerous and so are you.”

“We are. What else?”

I know he has the right to know the rest, but I can’t seem to speak the words.

“Ella—”

“He stole your right to tell me something in your own time.”

He stares at me, silent. Intense. His hand runs through his hair, and that hawk that establishes him as a protector flashes. “He told you about five years ago.”

“Yes. About Kevin and . . .”

“Elizabeth.” Her name is sandpaper on his throat, pain ripped straight from his heart.

“Yes.”

His jaw clenches. Seconds tick by. “It’s time Gallo and I have a heart-to-heart.” He turns and is through the door to the store before I know he’s moved.

“Kayden!” I shout, running after him. “Kayden!” I enter the store and he’s already at the front door, exiting to the street, with no coat and no explanation.

“Adriel!” I shout. He rushes out of his office. “He went after Gallo for telling me about Elizabeth.”

“Fuck!” Adriel is already rounding the counter. “Stay here and lock the door.” He grabs a coat from a rack and disappears out the door.

I hurry forward and lock it. Sinking against the wooden surface door, I suck in air, my heart hammering against my chest. This is bad. I grab my phone from my pocket and dial Kayden, willing him to answer, but it rings and rings and then goes to voice mail. I walk to the sofa and sit down, trying again. And again. I press the phone to my forehead and shut my eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him. No. I had to tell him.

“You okay?” Giada’s standing in front of me with two steaming cups in her hand. “Hot chocolate. I thought you could use some.”

I set the phone on the table to accept the mug. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” She sits down next to me. “So. Are you okay?”

I turn to face her. “Kind of. Thank you. What about you? You had a rough night.”

“I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago, over Adriel harassing him. I tried to drink away my heartache. It didn’t work.”

“It usually doesn’t,” I say, sipping the hot beverage.

“You sound like you speak from experience.”

I smile. “Well, I do have amnesia, so I’m not really an authority on my past right now.”

“Oh, that’s right. I’m sorry. That must really suck.”

I shrug. “My memories are slowly coming back, and I also seem to just know some things. Like I’ve tried to drink away a man before, and failed.”

She curls her legs to her side to face me, and I do the same with her. “What’s up with you and Kayden?”

“Still up for debate. I saw you last night on the monitor screaming at him.”

Her eyes drop sharply to her cup. “Yes. I guess I did.”

“What did you scream at him?”

Her gaze shoots to mine. “Mean things. Horrible things, Ella. My father was working for him when he died.”

“I know.”

“Kayden told you.”

“Yes.”

She hesitates. “What did he say?”

“Not a lot, but he hurts, too. Badly.”

Her throat bobs with a hard swallow. “My father worked for Kevin before Kayden. They were all close, but I didn’t meet Kayden until after it happened.”

“You moved here after your father died?”

“Yes. Kayden wanted us here where we’d be safe. I guess he had new security installed after . . .”

“Five years ago,” I say. “I know.” And I suddenly have a renewed need to hear Kayden’s voice. I set my cup down and pick up the phone, and dial his number. Ring. Ring. Ring. Voice mail. “Damn it,” I whisper.

Giada sets her cup down as well. “What’s up with him and Gallo?”

“Gallo blames him for something in his past, like you do.”

“I don’t blame Kayden.” She purses her lips. “Okay, maybe last night I did. I was drinking and hurting.”

“I meant what I said. He’s hurting too. You have to know that—right?”

“He’s hard to know.”

“Because he carries the burden of so much loss that he can’t let anyone in.” I face her, hesitating to share Kayden’s past, but gamble that dropping a tidbit of his past is okay. “Do you know about his family?”

“He never talks about them.”

“He lost them when he was ten. That’s when Kevin adopted him.”

“Oh, my God. What happened to them?”

“It’s not my place to share that story, and please don’t mention that I told you at all. But I’ll try to get Kayden to tell you.” An image forms in my mind of a pretty redheaded woman who is smiling at me, and my chest expands painfully. My mother. She’s gone, and it hurts so much. I will away the tears threatening to form, my voice hoarse as I continue. “I think Kayden can relate to your loss more than you realize.” And me, I add silently, swallowing hard and forcing myself to look at her. “Instead of blaming him, I think he might be a good person to talk to.”

“He’s kind of scary.” Her lips curve. “And sexy, which is intimidating.”

I laugh. “Hmmm. Yes. I can relate.” We both end up smiling and there’s a connection between us. “Where’s your mother?”

“She died of cancer when I was ten.”

Cancer. The word slides inside me, and finds an open wound that has my mother’s memory all over it. I know it as familiar and horrible, just like I know sympathy can be painful. So I don’t offer it. “Tell me about her.”

She starts talking and we both end up lying down on the couch, while I clutch the phone and will it to ring. Better yet, I just want Kayden to walk through the door.

Loud knocking on the street door wakes us up, both of us jolting to a sitting position where we’ve fallen asleep on the couch. The throb in my head is instant. “Oh God,” I murmur, pushing through the dull ache to grab my phone and check it to find no calls.

“Good grief,” Giada mumbles. “Some customers don’t take no for an answer.”

I stare at the time on my phone in disbelief. “It’s six o’clock. We’ve been asleep for hours!”

“I feel better,” she says. “I needed the rest Adriel wouldn’t allow me.”

“And I needed to take pain medication a good hour ago.”

“You’re hurting?” she asks.

“Yeah.”

My phone rings and I see Nathan on the caller ID. “Nathan,” I answer, hoping he can tell me where Kayden and Adriel are. “Is something wrong? Where’s Kayden?”

“I’ll tell you in a minute. I’m at the door knocking.”

“I’m at the store.”

“Right. Adriel said you might be, so that’s where I am. Are you going to let me in?”

Date: 2016-03-03; view: 580