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How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man 7 page

“It just killed my whole image of her,” he said. “I wasn’t ready for that.”who could blame him? Let a man fall in love before you show him the “real you,” because like it or not, he’s not about to find the sweatpants and the holey socks, or the woman who would reveal all that so early in the relationship, attractive. Sometimes, I think you’ve convinced yourselves that if we are really into you, we’ll accept you as you are from day one. “I’m going to show him the real me!” Well, he doesn’t need to see all of that. You don’t need to let out all the secrets-you don’t need to tell him you were in the salon turning that chestnut brown hair blond and that those aren’t your real eyelashes and the Spanx were the key component to that slick dress you were wearing when you first caught his eye. Let him develop deep(er) feelings for you before you start exposing the tricks of the trade.wife, Marjorie, whom I reconnected with and married twenty years after we met and briefly dated, effectively put this into play when we first started dating again, and I respected her for it. For the first five or six months of us being together, she always pulled it together-even when we were together in private. If she took a nap, she would wake up and head into the bathroom to freshen up before joining me. This sent a strong signal my way because any woman with a guy in my position is going to be in the spotlight, too, and by doing little things to always be on point when it was just the two of us, she demonstrated to me that she could handle this role were our relationship to deepen. The same holds true for every guy-not just a celebrity whose mate’s picture will be in magazines. Every guy earning a paycheck does this because at the end of the day he needs to have a lady on his arm who will make him feel as if he’s doing well (or at least better than he really is).course, Marjorie is a lot more relaxed now that we’re married, but in our house, even several years into our marriage, she’ll only go so far with the au natural look. She’ll pull her hair into a ponytail, but her skin will be glowing and her manicure and pedicure will be fresh. And she never goes out of the house-even for the simplest errands-without looking stylish.get that not every woman is going to want to get dolled up from head to toe every time she looks at the front door, but can you afford not to? Because let’s not forget there is competition out there. And she will work it; everything from her hair and outfits to the shape of her body to her pedicure will be together. And when a man sees that, he’s going to be attracted to her., we’re not so simple that we’re going to let go of something meaningful just because somebody else comes along and looks good. But if a man is still in the decision-making stage-he hasn’t professed his love for you, hasn’t done any real providing on your behalf, and isn’t willing to protect you at all costs-don’t give him a reason to walk away. This is something you can control; if he chooses to walk over and speak to you and ask you out and then ask you out again and again, then obviously, you’re doing something right. Don’t get too comfortable too soon and give the competition a leg up on your potential mate.when you’re in a relationship, you want to be careful; there are just some things you have to do to keep up the attraction you and your man have for each other. For sure, this goes both ways: no man should think it’s okay to get too lax in the keeping-it-together department, and at the same time, expect his mate to be pulled together 24/7. I still dress up for my wife, and we’re well into our marriage. Even on my casual days when I’m enjoying some downtime during the day, I put on a nice shirt and some slacks, shave, and freshen up before I come down for dinner. I do this because I don’t want her to always see me onstage looking dressed up and jazzy, and at home overly casual and beat down. This is a good attitude for all men to have, but it’s especially critical for men’s wives and significant others. I told you in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man that the number one reason men cheat is because there are so many women willing to cheat with them. I say to you now that what you cannot do in your house is keep providing reasons for your man to keep looking somewhere else for aesthetic stimulation. I’m sorry but we men have to have it. It’s what we like and we want it consistently. It simply isn’t cool for you to get too comfortable, to show up at dinner in a head scarf, house shoes that date back to college, and sweatpants. We don’t want to inhale the heady brew that’s part cold cream, part nail polish remover when we snuggle. What we saw this morning when you left the house was a nice dress, pumps you convinced us were essential, though they cost as much as a weekend getaway, a natural but shiny lipstick, and a cute hairdo. We smelled the perfume in the air. We saw the smile on your face and the pep in your step when you hauled all that pretty into the office. We watched all of that walk out the door, but then got none of it when you got home. This might not be a problem for you if we weren’t sitting in the office all week long, looking at all of our female coworkers dolled up and glamorous, looking and smelling good, only to come home to plain Jane. There could easily be a situation for you and your man if you let the other woman keep having her “on” days while you fill his days with nothing but “off.”’t shoot the messenger just because you don’t like the message but I have to ask: How long do you think that’s going to fly with a man? You can get mad with me all you want to, but the idea that after a certain point, a man should just love you for who you are without some razzle-dazzle is not feasible in the real world. We know you give it your all at work and then come home and give your all to the kids and keeping the house together-we get that. But you’ve got to recognize what coming home to a woman who cares about her appearance does for a man-especially when we know you’re doing it for us. Go home every once in a while and tell him, “You know, honey, I thought it would be nice for the two of us to come to the dinner table dressed up tonight-just for us.”that and suddenly the women dolled up at work aren’t so special, because he’s got dazzling at home. We know when you put on that sexy pair of underwear and that fitted T-shirt or that special piece of lingerie and you wait until the lights are out to tie down your hair that you’re doing it for us, and we get a kick out of that. Do this, and you’ll go a long way in keeping your man’s eyes where they belong-even after you’ve fallen in love and, over time, your body has gone through physical changes. When we truly love you, we don’t care that you’re not the same shape that you used to be; you’re still beautiful to us. While aesthetics is the number one reason why we approach you, it’s not the number one reason we fall in and stay in love with you. We get the changes. We simply don’t want you to let yourself go. We want to see that even with the changes, you’re making the effort to look good-to turn us on in the same ways that you did when we met you.Ladies Only…knows we’re not going to stay the same guy you met; we’ll have the potbelly or the bald spot, and body parts won’t function like they used to, and even with that, you’ll still love us. But that’s no excuse for us to let ourselves go-to force you to feel like you have to continue Level 10 sexual attraction to us when we know good and well we look like we’re barely on the deserving end of Level 5. Perhaps what we can both do is help each other get the sexy back-encourage each other to be better about living healthier lives, acknowledge and accept the changes our bodies go through as we get older, and help each other accentuate the goodness that’s still there. You can find a hairstyle that fits a face that might be a bit bigger; he can find clothes that suit his changing body. The two of you could get into a great couple’s exercise routine-take a salsa class together, or go for a brisk couple’s walk after dinner-that will help you lose weight and connect with each other. Just making that effort together will go a long way in putting some pretty new bows on both of your packaging.III. Keeping a Man



on Why Men Need It, Why You Should Keep Itmean, we just need it, man.the earth needs the sun, like sharks need water, like Parliament needs George Clinton, Bootsy Collins, and Funkadelic, like Benny needs the Jets.absolutely cannot-I repeat, CANNOT-live without sex, or what I often refer to as the cookie.he’s breathing and free and clear of medical issues that would preclude him from getting some, then a man is going to have sexual intercourse. Period.is nothing on this planet that makes him feel better than sex. Not a hole in one on the golf course. Not a game-winning three-point basket at the buzzer. Not even the best drug. Hands down, it is the most gratifying, tension-releasing, confidence-building, conquering feeling any one human male could ever experience-the mere release is like a pressure valve being turned and all of that steam and buildup and energy rushes through, making the machine right again.in order for our machines-our bodies, our souls, and our minds-to be right, we’re going to have sex by any means necessary. We enjoy the act that much.women have to understand, however, is that it is just an act. As clichéd as it may sound, men have nary a second’s thought about separating the act of having sex from making and being in love. Of course, the more skilled our lover is, the more enjoyable it is-and if she’s as beautiful as the ideal woman we’ve conjured up in our mind when we’re fantasizing, it’s all the more enjoyable, especially if she knows what she’s doing. But really, we have no problem having sex, and hitting the road the second it’s over. If we’re not in love with our partner, we don’t want to cuddle. We don’t want to touch. We don’t want to talk and share and emote and plan and dream with you. And if we do submit to the postcoital cuddle and conversation, it’s most likely insincere-just a way for us to keep alive the possibility that if we need another sexual release in the future, you’ll be available to us.but fact. Straight, no chaser.is why we men never understood this whole concept women have about using sex to deepen a man’s feelings for them. If you think because you have a special way of handing out the cookie that there will be a difference in how we respond to you emotionally, you’re sadly, pitifully mistaken.just took the cookie because you passed it out. I’m serious. No matter how sweet and seductive you were, no matter how much you’d worked out in your mind that sleeping with that man was going to connect the two of you in ways that going out to dinner and a movie followed by a long deep discussion on a walk through the park never would, he was likely saying in his mind, “Well, I’m here, 9:30 on a Tuesday night. If we are efficient enough, I’ll still be able to catch the sports highlights on ESPN. ‘Let’s get on in here, girl!’ ” Often, the physical connection doesn’t lead to much more than that.is why I insisted in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man that women adopt the Ninety-Day Rule-a probationary period of sorts where you forgo having sex with the new guy until you figure out whether he is really into you or is just trying to hit it and quit it. I tell you, this was the chapter that women across the land gave me the hardest time about; all too many refused to even hear me out on this one. I had women calling into my radio show saying, “I don’t know, Steve-ninety days just seems so arbitrary!” At my book signings and lectures from Brooklyn to Los Angeles, from Detroit to Topeka, and everywhere in between, women kept protesting that ninety days seemed “too long” and insisted that it’s okay to do “what feels right” and “hope” that they wouldn’t get hurt in the process. My personal favorite was a proclamation by one woman that she wasn’t going to be bothered with the Ninety-Day Rule because she tried it with a guy and “he ended up dumping me because I wouldn’t put out.” As if that guy would have stuck around if she would have just given him some cookie up front.said it before and I’ll say it again: the man who refuses to give you time to investigate whether he’s worthy of intimacy with you is not your man. He’s taking off because he doesn’t have what it takes to meet your standards and requirements, isn’t demonstrating that he’s interested in what it would take to make you happy in a relationship. He’s not looking to get emotionally invested in you; he’s not even considering it as an option. So why would you want this guy to stick around?sex as if it’s something special and let the man you’re interested in know that it’s special, and guess what? He’ll either leave-which is what you want this guy to do if you’re in the market for a serious relationship-or he’ll see something special in you and do what it takes to meet your standards and requirements. When you require something of a man, he will have no problem giving it to you if he truly wants to invest in a relationship with you. Your prize is only special if you make us treat it as if it’s special-if we are forced to say to ourselves, “Oh, wait-I can’t just run up in here and get the cookie like I can everywhere else because this is more than just a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of girl.” Men don’t mind having to prove themselves, and you are worthy of the effort and the attention., however, you’re treating sex as if it’s just a box of Chiclets, we’ll run through the relationship with you as if it’s a box of Chiclets. You know you don’t chew Chiclets too long. You pop one in your mouth and you chew it for a little while and then you spit it out and get you another piece until the box is empty-until there’s nothing left. You don’t want to be the used-up, empty Chiclets box.want to be the one he feels emotionally connected to, because when a man loves you and he’s committed solely to you, sex means something wholly different; now it becomes the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. That ideal woman we’ve had in our mind since we became sexually active is now an actual person-our ideal woman personified-and when we have sex with that woman, our physical, emotional, and mental desires synchronize and work together to give a pleasure trip that is exponentially better than any other sexual experience we could ever conjure up in our mind, let alone ever have had. When we’re making love to a woman we love, we don’t ever want it to be over; we want to keep touching her and smelling her and drinking her in because every inch of her arouses us in ways that no other person can-drives us crazy, damn near. Sex with that woman rejuvenates us-gives us the strength to carry on, the comfort we need to continue, the feel-good we have to have to make it through the hard times. And we actually care deeply that our lady feels the same way about us and will aim to do whatever it takes to bring her that immense pleasure, because we love her and want her to feel what we feel. We want her to be happy.men-and only men-can determine whether they love you and that your pot of gold is special to them. You can’t decide it for a man-you can’t say, “I’m going to get my sexy on so much so that he’ll be too strung out to leave,” and expect that it’ll work. Trust me when I tell you, no man on this planet will make that determination without first being shown how you want to be loved, how you expect to be treated, and whether or not it’s worth pursuing you beyond a casual romantic fling.any man living if I’m telling the truth and he’ll tell you the same.SEX VERSUS FLINGScourse, even if a man is in a committed relationship with a woman he loves, sex is going to wane. That’s just human nature. You’re going to get comfortable with each other. I’ve yet to meet a parent of a toddler who doesn’t find the king-size bed that was so immense during the honeymoon feels cramped when Junior starts walking in during the middle of the night (how romantic can that be?). Bill time is going to come around too often and with it the kind of stress that can play a number on your sexual energy. And somewhere along the line, there will be days when you’re just going to be tired of looking at each other, even though you know good and well you can’t live without each other. But even with all those changes, the one thing that I guarantee will remain constant is your man’s desire for sex. Again, unless there is something physically precluding him from achieving intimacy, a man is going to want to have sex regularly, especially if he’s committed to you.I’m not saying he has to have it every night. That’s for the young boys who don’t have anything else to do but prowl for the next conquest. And I’m not suggesting either that a guy won’t make allowances for natural occurrences that throw you off from giving us good loving, like illnesses and pregnancy and the like. Men are not heartless-we’re not the dogs you make us out to be. But the release we get from sex is essential to our existence. As I’ve written elsewhere, it recharges our batteries, feeds our ego, releases a bit of the pressure cooker tension we feel. So if we’re not getting the attention we need in the bedroom on a fairly regular basis, there’s going to be problems. I’m not saying he’s going to cheat. I’m certainly not suggesting that he has the right to cheat. But the temptation will certainly be there, and trust me when I tell you, it will cross his mind.course, not every man is going to act on this. But those who do stray from a committed relationship to have a one-night stand are telling the truth when they say “she didn’t mean anything.” In most cases, she probably doesn’t. What does matter to a man who chooses to have a fling outside of his committed relationship is that someone out there is willing to engage him in the thrill of the “chase and capture” men crave, and someone will give him sex with no strings attached. He’s having sex with someone he doesn’t have to argue with, someone with whom he has no responsibilities-they’re not divvying up bills and raising kids and plotting out social calendars and building a life together-and someone who represents a nice little escape from all of the stress he’s dealing with day in and day out. She dresses up for the occasion, makes the sex downright erotic, and fulfills whatever fantasy a man has worked out in his mind-the fantasy he can’t get at home.he’s done with her, he’ll be on his merry way-satisfied that he’s recharged and can go on back to his real life with the woman he loves. Sex with that other woman is just that-sex. The other woman may not recognize or want to acknowledge this, but in most cases, it’s the truth; and deep down, she knows it too.a man wrong for doing this, knowing that even though sex with another woman means nothing to him, it’s everything to you? Absolutely! Though every man who steps out on his committed relationship may have a pocketful of excuses for cheating, he knows really, there is no logical, acceptable, spiritual, or reasonable explanation for his actions, and that getting caught could mean the end of something beautiful. Every man eventually comes to a point in his life where he realizes nothing is worth losing his family-that the beauty of loving a woman, building a life with her and their children, being responsible for their care and well-being, and working with her to realize their dreams is more important than any orgasm he can have with another woman. A moment of pleasure for your life-that’s a pretty high price to pay. The sad part is that there are a lot of cheaters who need to make the mistake, get caught, and pay that price before they realize the worth of what they could end up losing.that’s the real shame of it all.’m not saying that in order to get your man to keep it at home, you have to drop and give him twenty whenever he taps you on the shoulder. A woman has every right to expect her man to be faithful-to expect that he won’t end up in someone else’s bed just because things aren’t perfect at home. It is not your job to coddle and coax a man into being faithful; you can’t change him if that’s who he is. But like I said in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, you can bring out the best in him. The two of you need to sit down and figure out together how you’re going to make this thing right-how the two of you are going to work out how to get back to happy-and satisfaction-again.fully admit that when a man gets comfortable, he can forget what it took for him to have the honor of being your lover. He can slack off on living up to your standards and requirements-forget to buy you flowers just because, or neglect to compliment you on how beautiful and sexy you are, or think it’s okay to lean on the quickie instead of putting in the work it takes to get you excited about sex. Men certainly don’t teach one another that in order for a woman to be everything a man needs, he has to fulfill a substantial amount of her needs. He doesn’t necessarily realize or remember that she likes to talk about her dreams and ambitions, or that she really liked it when they went out for dinner. He doesn’t know she’s sitting in her cubicle, listening to her girlfriend cooing into the phone, “I love you, too, baby,” when Valentine’s Day comes up and that while her girlfriend is getting a lot of things from her man, his girlfriend or spouse is upset that she’s gotten a whole lot of nothing from hers. He doesn’t know that everybody in the office is starting to question if she’s even got a man, because he’s never come in to take his lady to lunch or sent her a text message that made her giggle out loud or done something for her that’s made her brag about him to her coworkers. Indeed, we men sometimes create the distance without even knowing it because we’re so busy going about the business of manhood. How do you remind him? Talk. Most times it’s that simple.men really are simple creatures and are almost robotic in our habits. As I explain in Chapter 12, “The Art of the Deal,” if you tell us what you want, we’ll do it, especially if it means we’re going to benefit from it. If you tell a man he would get more sex from you, the woman he adores, if he made room for a once-a-week date night without the kids, or sent flowers just because, or chipped in more with the evening routine so you have more time to relax and get ready for him, guess what your man is going to do for you?, if you’re reluctant to have sex with your man because, well, he’s not giving you something you can feel, then you’re going to have to speak up. I promise you, he won’t know you’re not satisfied if you don’t say it. Of course, each man is different, but we’re all the same in one regard: we have tremendous egos when it comes to sex. No matter how good or bad we are, we all think we’re bringing it-think we are doing the most to make you climb the walls. We think we’re doing more than an adequate job because the work we’re putting in, we’ve got nothing to compare it to. (No, porn doesn’t count because we are not watching the guy-we’re focusing on the woman and her reactions to what’s being done.) You all have had lovers in your life and you can talk to your girlfriends about them and give them details-“girl, he kissed me this way and he rubbed me that way and ooh, he just wore me out!” But we men? We don’t share that with each other. Ever. We can’t turn to our fathers and ask them for advice because anything they tell us is going to automatically make us summon up images of them with our mothers and that’s not an image a man wants to conjure up. Ever. And we don’t talk to our boys about it at any great length because admitting we’re low on techniques makes us weak in our boys’ eyes and plus, none of us want our boys getting even a remote picture in their mind of our private parts or what it must be like to have sex with our women. So we’re not learning from other men, either. Ever.learn from trial and error how to please a woman. We keep a mental Rolodex of what worked with each partner we’ve been with-“When I was doing that right there, it brought on a tremor… let me mark that one down,” and “When I touched her there, she got excited… let me mark that one down.” Once we’ve taken notes on the little spots, areas, and tremors that got our partners sexually aroused, we call ourselves experienced.else we’ve been with told us we suck, and you’re not saying anything, and we’re always reaching our moment (whether you really reach your moment or not), so hey, we’re killing! Every muscle on us is tight, we’re shaking, the hair on the back of our necks is standing on end-we’re good. Outstanding! So unless you tell a man you want something different, you’re going to keep getting a whole lot of what you’ve already gotten., you have to be careful of how you ask for what you want. Like I said, men have tremendous egos when it comes to sex, and if you start with an attitude, “You know what? When you’re with me, you’re not doing the things I like,” feelings are going to get hurt-not necessarily just his. And whatever you do, don’t make a big production out of it. I told you in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man that the four words that scare the crap out of men and put them on the defensive are “We have to talk.” So approach the conversation strategically-delicately. Be smart about it. The best time to bring it up is while we’re in the actual act because when we’re having sex, we’re receptive to anything. If you say, “Baby, dive off the armoire!” he’ll take his behind right on up there. If you say, “Oh, I love it when you do that right there,” and “Ooh, turn me over now and go to the left, yeah!” he’s going to do exactly as he’s told.also have some other amazing tools to help you get the best out of your man; there’s text messaging-“Honey, if you help me out with the kids tonight, at around 9:30 when they’re in bed, we’re going to be in bed and…” Put a sticky next to his shaving kit: “Remember when you did that thing to me? Ooh, I was just thinking about it and got shivers! Can you do that to me again?” You could always call his cell phone and leave a message: “I love it when you talk dirty to me-when I get home, I want you to whisper some dirty things in my ear and touch me there when you do it.”the course of two weeks, you can tell him everything you want him to know about what you like and get it. Because he’s getting what he wants-great sex with the woman he loves-and he’s pleasing her, making her happy. Which is all a man who is truly committed and in love with you wants to do.want to please the woman to whom we’re committed and emotionally connected. We really do. Because if the two of us are pleased-sexually, emotionally, mentally-well, there’s no way we’re going to step out on that. The chances of that happening go down to damn near zero, because what a man knows through experience is that all of those “hope diamonds” are really just quarters compared with the pot of gold he’s got at home. He won’t jeopardize that by doing something he knows won’t mean anything to him, but everything to you.that brings me back to why it’s so important for women to make sure that they exercise the Ninety-Day Rule-to really scope out a man and figure out if he’s worthy of the cookie before you give it to him. If you’re truly looking for a committed relationship, this guy has to demonstrate that he’s worthy of and ready for one. Giving him sex is not going to make him stay around-not for the right reasons, anyway.here’s the incredible thing about women I don’t quite understand: you know when a man is not feeling you yet you still give your all, you continue to try to make it work. Why play that game? Why not just weed out, up front, all the men you know are going to do nothing but cause you heartache and disappointment, and wait for the one who is going to do right by you? Please understand, he’s out there. There isn’t a man living who can do without a good woman. Most men are going to get married. One of them will marry you. A real man won’t be able to fulfill his destiny as a man without you. How else is he going to have kids? How will he continue his lineage? He wants that legacy; if a man can’t do anything else, he wants his name to live on. Even if his father wasn’t around, deep down he knows he can be the one to fix that-to break the cycle and start the tradition and be thought of as someone special to somebody. That’s why our parents were so giving and hardworking-so that we could have a better life than they had. I’m sure my mother and father are somewhere looking at me and saying, “That’s our son. We done good.”remember when they were living and we were sitting around the Thanksgiving table and I saw my father lean over and tap my mother on the shoulder and say, “Did you ever think one of our children would be on TV?”

“Not in a million years,” my mother said. “Ain’t God good?”my father said, “I guess He is.”’s all a man wants-to have someone be proud of him and to be proud of somebody. It’s critically important to a man. And women help bring that about. We can’t have babies without you, we can’t build families without you, we don’t get to be the man of the house without you, we don’t enjoy dreaming without you.cannot exist without you., we are not taught this. No man sits his son down and says, “Son, you can’t truly live without a woman.” But a good man will profess to anyone listening that he can’t live without his woman. For sure, when my mother died, my father told me one day, “Boy, I figure I’ll just go on and get out of here now, because life without your mother-ain’t nothing here anymore. I always knew that life wasn’t nothing without her.”how depressed he was, I’d tell him things to try to cheer him up even though he’d lost the love of his life-the woman he stayed married to for sixty-two years. I’d say, “Wynton just got here-he needs a grandfather,” and I’d take him up to see my son. He’d say, “I guess I can hang around for old shotgun a little while longer.” But as soon as he’d have a moment of quiet-some time to reflect-he’d go there again: “I wonder if the Lord will let me see her just one more time. I’m ready to see your mama, even if it’s just for one more time.”years after my mother died, my father passed on. He didn’t die from any specific illness-cancer, a stroke, or a heart attack. He just coolly went to sleep one night, tired. His heart was broken, because he couldn’t go on without the woman who completed him.principles I’ve laid out here are the same ones I share with my daughters and my sons. My sons are not being encouraged to go out and “conquer” the opposite sex; instead, I’m talking to them about respecting the young women they date the same way they would expect another man to respect their sisters. I also talk to them about the effects sex can have on their lives and the lives of the girls they may decide to be with sexually-to understand that being thoughtless and careless about intercourse can have devastating consequences for everyone involved. Emotional, mental, and physical consequences. And, if she ends up pregnant, there will be lifelong consequences on their ability to live their best lives.girls are taught that they need to be very clear about what their standards and requirements are and hold the men they date to them. I tell them constantly, too, that they’ve got to be willing to lose in order to win-to be willing to walk away from the bad situation to get to the good one. I add that this is a very simple matter of mathematics: plug in the facts and see if this guy is living up to what you expect. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated like a queen. You deserve to be talked to with respect. You deserve to be taken around and presented with respect. You deserve to know what it feels like to feel special. “Don’t let anybody come along and treat you any other way,” I tell my daughters, “because you can always come over here and get special treatment from your father until you can find the man who can treat you the way I do.” And I seal that with the declaration that they absolutely will not find out any of that about a man if they sleep with him too soon. I’ve said elsewhere I’m not a relationship expert-that I’m an expert on how men think and I know this much to be true. When I and the men I know have been confronted by a woman who respected herself and held her future in such high regard that she made it clear that she deserved only the best and would settle for nothing less, we’ve had no choice but to take stock and treat her with due regard. She might not have been the one for us, in which case we moved on. But what we didn’t do after she made her demands clear is try to run our games on her, just kick it until Ms. Right did come along. How could we? She wouldn’t let us. Which means that ultimately, she had the power. And you do too.Ladies Only…Steps to Turning Up the Heat with Your Man


Date: 2015-01-02; view: 699


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