BRINGING UP BOYS AND GIRLS

From the moment of birth, babies are usually treated according to their gender. In the United States and in many other countries, baby girls tend to be dressed in pink clothing and baby boys in blue. Baby girls are handled more gently than boys. Girls are cuddled and kissed while boys are bounced around and lifted high in the air. Girls are given dolls, whereas boys are given cars, trucks, and building blocks. Moth­ers think a lot about how pretty their little girls should look, but they are less concerned about their little boys' appearance.

When they start to talk, children are taught the difference between 3 the words "he" and "she" and between "him" and "her." There are also differences in the way parents talk to their children. Parents use words about feelings and emotions more with girls than with boys, and, by age 2, girls use these words more than boys do. Furthermore, mothers and fathers talk differently, because of their socialization. Mothers tend to talk more politely ("Could you turn off the TV, please?") and fathers tend to use more direct language ("Turn off the TV.") By age 4, girls and boys have learned to imitate these conversational styles.

Girls are generally taught to be "ladylike" - polite and gentle. They rely on others - especially males - for help. They are allowed to express their emotions freely. Girls learn the importance of being pretty. They may even learn that they must rely more on their the importance of beauty than on their intelligence to attract men. Boys, on the other

hand, are taught to behave "like men." Boys are also encouraged to be independent and strong and to avoid being "mama's boys." They are told that boys don't cry. If they put on makeup and wear dresses dur­ing play their parents are horrified. Therefore, boys grow up with a fear of being feminine, and, as young men, try to keep up a "macho" image. They may also develop a negative attitude toward women in adult life (Elkin and Handel 1988; Power and Shanks 1989).

Parents also have different social expectations of daughters and sons. Daughters, more than sons, are socialized to think more about the fam­ily, for example, to remember birthdays, to spend time with the family on holidays, and, when they get older, to provide care for sick family members and relatives. Sons are not expected to do these things. They are expected to be more interested in the world outside the family and more independent of the family in social activities. Daughters are also thought to need more protection than sons. For example, parents may make their daughters come home earlier at night and forbid them to go to places that they might let their sons go to. Such protectiveness often encourages girls to be less active in exploring their environment.

In recent years, though, there has been a trend in many parts of the world to more gender-neutral socialization.Young parents, female pro­fessionals, and well-educated parents, in particular, are more likely to socialize their children into more equal gender roles. However, this is not always an easy task. One study of parents who wanted to bring up their children in a nonsexist way found that it was very difficult to do. The par­ents complained about toy stores being filled with gender-specific toys- war toys for boys and domestic toys for girls. They also commented that while they might be able to give their children gender-neutral toys them­selves, it was difficult to get relatives and friends to do this. Almost all the children in the study owned and played with gender-specific toys given to them by other people. The parents also found it hard to fight against the gender lessons of books, the peer group, and school.

Date: 2016-01-03; view: 1335