Itís been over two years. Weíve just moved house and weíre in the process of making it our own. (Laughs softly) Iíve infused a little more colour into the dynamic, Miles is very chic and likes simple browns, blacks and whites.
Are you thinking about marriage?
Marriage is certainly something we talk about. Iím thrilled now that we can, if and when we decide we want to, but I donít think itís something both of us are necessarily hurtling towards. Iíve never been happier. Iíve never felt so integrated and in place with anyone else. Thatís what matters to me and thatís what matters to Miles.
Would you like to marry?
I believe in the right to it, but personally I feel a union is something that transcends a declaration or institution. Maybe at some point I will want to bring marriage into the mix and Miles will agree. We certainly have conversations about it. The idea of planning a wedding Ė having a party and celebrating how much I love this man with the people I love Ė is exciting.
Do you want children?
I definitely want children. Miles wants children too.
How would you do it?
Itís something Iíve given a lot of thought and consideration to. Personally, adoption is the strongest choice. Itís a complicated issue and decision to make, I think. It requires a fair amount of planning and examination, so Iím in the middle of that now.
How has filming Star Trek been?
Itís certainly different now Leonard [Nimoy, the original ĎSpockí, who died, aged 83, in February] is not with us any longer. I feel a sense of connection to him which is deeper than when he was alive, and a sense of responsibility to honour him, his legacy and role. Leonard and I were very, very close. He really left the world as peacefully and loved as anyone I have ever known.
How useful has therapy been?
I realise it isnít designed for everyone, but personally it feels a very valuable place to channel my resources of time, money and energy. Psychologically and emotionally I have felt more self-acceptance, love and compassion for myself when I have been in therapy than when Iím not, and more understanding of other people in any kind of relationship with me. I took responsibility for things like my fatherís death when I was seven. I think any child in the context of such profound trauma doesnít have the capacity to realise they were not somehow complicit in the trauma. You donít have any frame of reference for the magnitude of that, the absolutely explosive nature of an event like that at such an unformed age. In terms of relationships I needed to understand why under certain circumstances I was looking for something more than someone else was willing to give me and why under other circumstances why I wasnít able to give someone as much as they need. Going back to the origins of those behaviors allowed me to get to the point where I was able to be on the same footing as somebody else.
How have you found fame?
I think I deal with it pretty well. I know what comes along with the exposure of being a celebrity. I donít begrudge or resent it. I have boundaries that are really clear. I walk my dog. I take the train. There are things I can do that make myself less available as I walk through the city. I listen to music, wear sunglasses on the train. Iíve learned how to manage the city in a way that doesnít necessitate me getting into a fucking SUV every time I walk out my front door.
Why does Hollywood still have such a Ďgayí problem? Why are so few big-name actors out?
One journalist misquoted me saying that one day there could be a gay James Bond. That was not the fucking point I was making. The point I was making was there could be a gay actor playing James Bond, who will never be gay. A gay actor can play James Bond as a straight character. Maybe the only way to really change it is to just fucking do it and fucking stop talking about it. Thatís the effort Iím making when I make a film like Agent 47, or an action film, or do something not about being gay, or playing a character that is not gay. Iím working in a more diverse and more consistent way than I did before I came out.