I’m Not Cheating, I’m Left-Handed

FROM: James J. McHabe, Adm. Asst.

TO: all teachers

RE: MIDTERM EXAMINATIONS

THE FACT THAT THANKSGIVING FALLS WHEN IT DOES THIS YEAR IS CAUSING DIFFICULTIES IN MIDTERM EXAMINATION SCHEDULES. SINCE THERE WILL BE NO FINAL EXAMS, MIDTERM MARKS WILL COUNT AS 2/3 OF THE FINAL MARK. IMPRESS UPON YOUR STUDENTS THE IMPORTANCE OF ACHIEVING AS HIGH A MARK AS POSSIBLE. VIGILANT PROCTORING DURING THE EXAMINATIONS IS ESSENTIAL TO PRECLUDE ANY TEMPTATION TO CHEAT.

PROCTORING INSTRUCTIONS:

1. ARRANGE SEATS IN EXAMINATION ROOM IN ALTERNATE ROWS, ONE SEAT DIRECTLY BEHIND THE OTHER. A SEAT NOT PROPERLY ALIGNED PRESENTS THE POSSIBILITY OF AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OF ANOTHER'S PAPER.

2. STUDENTS ARE TO PLACE ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE ROOM ALL BOOKS, NOTEBOOKS, POCKETBOOKS AND PERSONAL POSSESSIONS.

3. PLACE EXAMINATION PAPERS FACE DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF EACH DESK, AT RIGHT ANGLES TO THE BLANK ANSWER PAPERS, UNTIL THE BELL RINGS, AT WHICH TIME THE STUDENTS ARE TO TURN THEIR PAPERS OVER IN UNISON.

4. DO NOT ALLOW STUDENTS TO LEAVE THEIR

SEATS FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. THE PROCTOR IS TO APPROACH THEM AT THEIR SEATS TO DISTRIBUTE PAPERS AND TO ANSWER QUESTIONS.

5. NO QUESTIONS ARE TO BE ANSWERED BY THE PROCTOR.

6. IF A STUDENT DESIRES TO GO TO THE LAVATORY, THE PROCTOR WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT TO THE DOOR OF THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND SUMMON THE HALL PROCTOR, WHO WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT TO THE LAVATORY AND WILL REMAIN IN THE LAVATORY UNTIL THE STUDENT IS FINISHED. MALE TEACHERS WILL ESCORT BOYS, FEMALE TEACHERS WILL ESCORT GIRLS. THEN THE HALL PROCTOR WILL ESCORT THE STUDENT BACK TO THE DOOR OF THE EXAMINATION ROOM AND HAND HIM OVER TO THE ROOM PROCTOR.

7. PROCTORS ARE TO WATCH STUDENTS ACTIVELY THROUGHOUT THE EXAMINATION AND BE ON GUARD FOR THE FOLLOWING:

EYES ROVING

LIPS MOVING

LEFT ARM NOT COVERING PAPER

BENDING DOWN TO TIE SHOE LACE OR PICK UP FALLEN OBJECT

BLOWING NOSE, YAWNING OR SNEEZING TOO LOUDLY

REACHING INTO POCKET

CRUMPLING SCRATCH PAPER INTO A BALL

STRETCHING LEGS TOO FAR OUT

STUDYING NAILS OR INSIDES OF WRISTS

IMPRESS UPON STUDENTS THE IMPORTANCE OF HIGH ETHICAL STANDARDS: WHEN THEY CHEAT THEY CHEAT ONLY THEMSELVES. IF THEY ARE CAUGHT CHEATING, THE PROCTOR MUST BE BLAMED FOR LAX SUPERVISION.

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: Room 304

TO: Room 508

Dear Bea—

Just got Admiral's directive on Midterm

proctoring—with emphasis on marks and warnings against cheating. Cause and effect? I asked my kids to write down how they feel about marks and exams; am eager to read what they have to say. As for cheating, it seems to me that—watched by hawk-eyed proctor—even if they had no intention to cheat, they'd be tempted to outwit him. Has anyone tried Honor System? I have a hunch that if they felt they were trusted, they'd rise to that trust.

I have three room proctoring assignments. Thank God I'm not a hall proctor!

What do I do if a kid is not covering with his left arm a paper which is not at right angles to his desk?

Syl.

* * *

INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION

FROM: 508

TO: 304

Dear Syl,

You either kill the kid or yourself.

Honor System would never work here—too great a premium on the Mighty Mark, which determines whether or not a kid gets into college and causes parental pressures and senior breakdowns. This is true of academic youngsters; non-academic ones cheat pour le sport, as a matter of bravado, ingenuity or class status. Not to try to cheat is square.

Trend is changing, though, from person-to-person cheating to cooperative cheating and teamwork. Some of the excuses they offer, when detected, are: altruism, good sportsmanship, and "I'm not cheating, I'm left-handed!"

The kids put the burden on teacher: "What's the difference to you if you add another 10 points?" "Why did you fail me? I didn't do

nothing!" The reply, of course, is: "That's just it." I'd like to know if you get any insights from their own comments on marks. You're a brave girl; we who are about to die salute you!

Bea

As Far As Marks

As far as marks, you can either better yourself or become lower. Marks can be fair or unfair depending on how the student answers questions from the teacher and whether or not the teacher asks the questions a student can answer.

Harry A. Kagan

(The Students Choice)

The passing mark should be "50" and not "65." Personaly I don't care but I worry about my "parents".

Chas. H. Robbins

1. On the pro side marks are good to the teacher. In showing how much the pupil listens to her.

2. On the con side marks are bad to the pupil. If he doesn't do so good on a test.

Teenager

Due to marks you can't not cheat.

Constant Cheater

Teachers too stingy with the marks and unfair

in dishing them out. Questions are too prejudice and tests are too hard.

Edward Williams, Esq.

Do away with them, after all we can get along in our social life without marks.

Linda Rosen

Marks are important because for colleges or jobs they want your average and the average for the subject is made up of marks and the average for the term is made up of the average of the different subjects and the average for all terms is what they want.

Crammer

E.W. was copying from F.A. in French, also L.M. and L.R. And others!

Guess Who

Sometimes I do my homework and the teacher doesn't even mark it or I recite in class and it doesn't count, it's a waste of my time. Like when I studied the wrong thing.

A True Pupil

Why can't they scatter exams insted of making us study severall subjects the same night, it makes no sence?

Failing

I don't think talking out or horsing around

should be avaraged in with the marks. A teacher may hate you, after all he's human, Ha-ha! and he might give you a zero in conduct. One zero for talking can pull down the whole average! But it doesn't matter anyhow, everybody gets promoted. Sooner or later!

Lou Martin

I wrote the same identical book report for two different English teachers I had last term. One gave me 91 and the other 72 on the same identical paper. Go figure it out!

I think class discussion should be counted and not tests because you can say what you really think and not what they want you to say.

Carole Blanca

Marks encourage us to cheat though I personally don't.

Honest Abe

You either pass or fail, no two ways about it.

Zero

Best marks go to cheaters and memorizers. Marks depend on memorizing and not on real knowledge. When you cram into your head for a test

you may get a high mark but forget it the next day. That's not an education. I suggest just Good and Bad at the end of the term on report cards. Or maybe nothing.

Frank Allen

The reason my marks are low is because teachers call on me the one time I'm unprepaired and never all the times I am.

Disgusted

Exams show more the paper and not the individual.

Teachers give tests for spite and to get even. Or just to keep the class quiet. (This is the last time I'm writting to answer you!)

Marks should be based on class work and not on tests when the nerves take over. When talking in class (English) and the teacher listens to me I feel more courage to say it.

Jose Rodriguez

I use only 10% or less of what I study. It's a waist.

Dropout

Cheat is Teach backwards! ! !

Doodlebug

TO: all teachers

FROM: James J. McHabe, Adm. Asst.

PLEASE PLOT AND HAND IN THE MEDIAN PERCENTILE CURVE BASED ON THE MIDTERM MARKS IN EACH OF YOUR CLASSES. IF A CLASS CURVE FALLS BELOW THE PERCENTILE OF FAILURES ALLOTTED TO IT, THE EFFICACY OF THE TEACHER MUST BE QUESTIONED. TEACHERS WITH THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF PASSING STUDENTS ARE TO BE COMMENDED.

JJ McH

Lavatory Escort

Wed., Nov. 25

Dear Ellen,

It looks as if I might be fired from the school system—because I failed to provide a lavatory escort for Joe Ferone.

If this doesn't make sense, it's because it doesn't; but I’ll start at the beginning. It was during Midterm Exams this morning. Midterms are really final exams, but they're given in November, with high pomp and protocol. Books piled in front of the room, seats in alternate rows, kids: "Can we copy?" "What's the answer to question 2?" "It's not fair! We never had this!" "How we supposed to answer this?" Confusion about money to be collected for Thanksgiving baskets; confusion about Midterm exam envelopes delivered to the wrong room; confusion about proctoring assignments; and the usual confusion about bells. Finally silence, except for the scratching of pens and shuffling of feet.

Suddenly—a problem. Ferone has to leave the room. I escort him to the door—but there is no hall proctor in sight—and he is not supposed to go unescorted. What to do? His need is urgent. We stand in the doorway for a moment, testing each other with our eyes. The situation is fraught. This may be my chance to win his trust at last. I whisper—in order not to disturb the others—my permission for him to go alone. It is understood that he is honor-bound not to use the lavatory for any but legitimate

purposes; not as a reference room, not to look up any answers that may be secreted on his person, not even for a quick smoke. He goes, and I return to my observation perch at the back of the room (so that the kids can't see whom I am watching: a tip from Admiral Ass!). A few minutes later, the Admiral himself appears in the doorway, white with rage, Ferone at his side. Clash of swords; two enemies face to face, on either side of Ferone; the showdown—but sotto-voce, for we have an audience.

McH: What is the meaning of this?

I: Of what?

McH: You let him out of the room unescorted?

I: He had to go

McH: Unescorted?

I: There was no hall proctor.

McH: You should have waited for one.

I: The situation did not warrant waiting.

McH: Do you realize his exam paper may be invalidated?

I: Why?

McH: He may have been looking up answers!

I: I don't think so. He told me he wouldn't.

McH: He told you?

I: Yes.

McH: And you believed him?

I: I believe him.

McH: Go back to your seat, young man. Miss Barrett, this is not the time and place to explain to you the gravity of your position. You had explicit instructions; you disobeyed them. You'll hear from me later. In the meantime, you will please put his paper aside when he is finished. The outcome of his examination will have a direct bearing on you. You understand that?

I: I think so.

McH: The second girl in the third row—eyes on your paper!

Exit the Admiral.

Ferone and I look at each other. His face is

impassive. Will he fail the exam to vindicate me? He is very bright; he has been an F student only because he chose to be.

Suddenly he has become a moral issue by which I stand or fall. The incident of the lavatory has brought into focus my values against McHabe's—everything I believe in as opposed to all that is petty, regimented and rote in the school system; all that degrades the dignity of my profession, and consequently, of my pupils; my desire to teach well, as opposed to bureaucracy, trivia and waste.

Perhaps I am losing my sense of humor. It's easy to do that here. But I am still new enough to the system not to take its absurdities for granted. If only the McHabes didn't keep getting in the way, I think I could move a few mountains.

Now I have to mark, over the four-day Thanksgiving holiday, 201 papers. Each is in 5 parts. Each contains 2 compositions.

I shall keep you posted on further developments of the Barrett-Ferone-McHabe Lavatory Case. In the meantime, write me what the weather is like in the outside world.

Love,

Syl

P.S. Did you know that according to the tabulation of the National Council of Teachers of English, it takes six to ten minutes to grade a single composition, and that the city's teachers carry a pupil-load of 150 to 200 pupils per term?

S.

20+

60 | 1206

201 6

x 6 min

1206 20+ hrs to grade

1 compos.

Date: 2016-01-03; view: 755