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And Gladly Teche # 1
Sept. 7
Dear Ellen, It's a far cry from our dorm in Lyons Hall (Was it only four years ago?); a far cry from the sheltered Graduate School Library stacks; a far cry from Chaucer; and a far and desperate cry from Education 114 and Prof. Winters' lectures on "The Psychology of the Adolescent." I have met the Adolescent face to face; obviously, Prof. Winters had not. You seem to have done better with your education than I: while you are strolling through your suburban supermarket with your baby in the cart, or taking a shower in the middle of the third period, I am automatically erasing "Fuck Teacher" from the blackboard. What I really had in mind was to do a little teaching. "And gladly wolde he lerne, and gladly teche" like Chaucer's Clerke of Oxenford, I had come eager to share all I know and feel; to imbue the young with a love for their language and literature; to instruct and to inspire. What happened in real life (when I had asked why they were taking English, a boy said: "To help us in real life") was something else again, and even if I could describe it, you would think I am exaggerating. But I'm not. In homeroom (that's the official class, where the kids report in the morning and in the afternoon for attendance and vital statistics) they went after me
with all their ammunition: whistling, shouting, drumming on desks, clacking inkwell lids, playing catch with the board eraser, sprawling in their seats to trip each other in the aisles all this with an air of vacant innocence, while I stood there, pleading for attention, wary as a lion-tamer, my eyes on all 46 at once. By the time I got to my subject classes, I began to stagger under an inundation of papers mimeos, directives, circulars, letters, notices, forms, blanks, records. The staggering was especially difficult because I am what's known as a "floater" I float from room to room. There's a whole glossary to be learned. My 3rd termers are "special-slows"; my 5th terms are "low-normal" and "average-normal." So far, it's hard to tell which is which, or who I am, for that matter. I made one friend Bea Schachter, and one enemy Adm. Asst., who signs himself JJ McH. and I saw hate and contempt on the face of a boy because I am a teacher. The building itself is hostile: cracked plaster, broken windows, splintered doors and carved up desks, gloomy corridors, metal stairways, dingy cafeteria (they can eat sitting down only in 20 minute shifts) and an auditorium which has no windows. It does have murals, however, depicting mute, muscular harvesters, faded and immobilized under a mustard sun. That's where we had assembly this morning. Picture it: the air heavy with hundreds of bodies, the principal's blurred face poised like a pale balloon over the lectern, his microphone-voice crackling with sudden static: "... a new leaf, for here at Calvin Coolidge we are all free and equal, with the same golden opportunity ..." The students are silent in their seats. The silence has nothing to do with attention; it's a glazed silence, ready to be shattered at a moment. The girl next to me examines her teeth in her pocket mirror. I sit straight on the wooden seat, smoothed by the
restless bottoms of how many children, grown now, or dead, or where? On the back of the seat directly in front of me, carefully chiseled with some sharp instrument, is the legend: Balls. "... knocks but once, and your attitude ..." Tude booms, unexpectedly amplified by the erratic microphone, "towards your work and your teachers, who so selflessly ..." The teachers dot the aisles: a hen-like little woman with a worried profile; a tall young man with amused eyebrows; a round lady with a pepper-and-salt pompadour my colleagues, as yet unknown. "... precious than rubies. Education means ..." he's obviously winding up for a finish "not only preparation for citizenship and life plus a sound academic foundation. Don't forget to have your teacher sign your program cards, and if you have any problems, remember my door is always open." Eloquent pause. "And so, with this thought in mind, I hope you will show the proper school spirit, one and all." Released at last, they burst, clang-banging the folding seats, as they spill out on a wave of forbidden voices, and I with them, into the hall. "Wherezya pass?" says the elevator man gloomily. "Gotcher elevator pass?" "I'm a teacher," I say sheepishly, as if caught in a lie. For only teachers, and students with proof of a serious disability, may ride in the elevators. Looking young has certain disadvantages here; if I were a man, I'd grow a mustache. This morning, the students swarming on the street in front of the entrance parted to let me pass the girls, their faces either pale or masked with makeup; the boys eyeing me exaggeratedly: "Hey eeah howzabadis! Gedaloadadis whee-uh!" the two-note whistle of insolent admiration following me inside. (Or better still a beard.) It seems to me kids were different when I was in high school. But the smell in the lobby was the same
unmistakable school smell chalk dust? paper filings? musty metal? rotting wood? I joined the other teachers on line at the time clock, and gratefully found my card. I was expected: Someone had put my number on it #91. I punched the time on my card and stuck it into the IN rack. I was in. But when I had written my name on the blackboard in my room, for a moment I had the strange feeling that it wasn't spelled right. It looked unfamiliar white and drowning in that hard black sea. ... I am writing this during my lunch period, because I need to reach towards the outside world of sanity, because I am overwhelmed by the sheer weight of the clerical work still to be done, and because at this hour of the morning normal ladies are still sleeping. We have to punch
No One Down Here
FROM: James J. McHabe, Adm. Asst. TO: Miss Barrett, 304
Why do you need so many paper-clips? Supplies are running low. All out of desk blotters. All out of rubber bands. And all out of board erasers. No red pencils only blue. Can let you have half envelope of chalk all out of boxes. Chalk is not to be wasted. No unauthorized students are to use it. JJ McH
* * *
TO: all teachers
Please ignore the bells. Sadie Finch Chief Clerk
* * *
FROM: sylvia barrett TO: Dr. Samuel Bester
Enclosed are my registers in my five English classes. I find that my teaching-load is 223 students per day and that my average is not 33 but 44 3/5 students per class.
41 5/223 44 3/5
Also, the Book Room has no Mill on the Floss only Julius Caesar, and only enough for three-fourths of the class. S. Barrett
* * *
FROM: dr. samuel bester chairman, language arts dept. TO: miss barrett Dear Miss Barrett, Let it be a challenge to you. S. Bester
* * *
ADDENDUM TO ETHICAL STANDARDS:
TRANSPORTATION CARDS ARE NOT TO BE SIGNED UNLESS STUDENTS ARE ENTITLED TO TRANSPORTATION. WE HAVE HAD AN EPIDEMIC OF MISREPRESENTATION ON TRANSPORTATION CARDS.
INSTILL IN YOUR STUDENTS PROPER BEHAVIOR ON PUBLIC VEHICLES TO AND FROM SCHOOL. INFRACTIONS OF COMMON COURTESY IN OR AROUND THE VICINITY OF THE SCHOOL, REFLECT ON CALVIN COOLIDGE AND DISTORT OUR PUBLIC IMAGE.
NO WRITTEN PASSES ARE TO BE ISSUED TO LAVATORIES, SINCE THEY ARE EASILY DUPLICATED BY THE STUDENTS. ONLY WOODEN LAVATORY PASSES ARE TO BE HONORED.
James J. McHabe, Adm. Asst.
Miss Barrett Joseph Ferone disrupted my 5th period math class through the door. He belonged in your English class that period but left your room without a pass. Edward Williams of your homeroom talked in Assembly this morning. Please take appropriate measures. Frederick Loomis
* * *
Dear Mrs. Barnet, He said to apologize in writing but I didn't even talk in assembly today, teachers have it in for me because I am color. Loomis flunked me in math last term, it's not fair because I was in class a lot. He flunked me in hist. too even though it's not his subject. Teachers give the subject a bad name. He said he'll report me because he's prejudice. Edward Williams, Esq.
* * *
FROM: James McHabe, Adm. Asst. TO: all teachers
AT THE END OF THE HOMEROOM PERIOD, PLEASE SEND TO ME THOSE STUDENTS WHO HAVE FAILED TO REPORT FOR CHECK-OUT BECAUSE THEY HAVE LEFT THE BUILDING. JJ McH
Bea As for above I'd like to oblige him, but how do I send him kids who aren't there? Puzzled
* * *
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 508 TO: 304
Dear Puzzled Let it be a challenge to you. Bea
* * *
from: James J. McHabe, Adm. Asst. to: all teachers
DUE BEFORE THREE
Please fill out and send to 211 before 3 today the enclosed report on Physical Condition of Room. This is done monthly to insure the safety of all students. Check defects, if any, and name specifically any deviations or hazards. JJ McH
* * *
ROOM: 304 teacher: s. barrett september 9
Door off hinges & banging hazard!
Sliding wardrobe panel doesn't close; side blackboard is on it and cannot be used. Deviation.
Book case in back of room missing 1/2 its door; can't be closed. Also, shelf splintered. Deviation and hazard.
Teacher's desk missing two drawers. Deviation.
Window in back of room broken; scattered glass hazard. S. Barrett
* * *
to: all teachers Disregard Bells. Sadie Finch Chief Clerk
from: James J. McHabe, Adm. Asst. to: all teachers
THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL AND NO OTHER IS TO BE PLACED IN THE CENTER DRAWER OF YOUR DESK IN THE ROOM WHERE YOUR OFFICIAL CLASS MEETS AND LOCKED UP WITH KEY PROVIDED FOR THE PURPOSE. THIS MATERIAL IS TO BE KEPT LOCKED UP AT ALL TIMES EXCEPT WHEN IN USE BY TEACHER OR OTHER AUTHORIZED AGENT: ROLL BOOK, ATTENDANCE PADS, ABSENTEE POSTAL CARDS, SEATING PLAN, EMERGENCY SLIPS, EXCUSE SLIPS, TRANSCRIPT SHEETS, PROGRAM CARDS (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER), CONSENT SLIPS, TRUANT SLIPS (BLUE), PARENT LETTERS #1 (YELLOW), PARENT LETTERS #2 (PINK), EXTRACURRICULAR CREDIT CARDS, AND LUNCH PERMITS.
JJ McH
* * *
Dear Mr. McHabe My problem is: I've got the material all right, and the key, but no center drawer. As a matter of fact, two whole drawers are missing from my desk. Please advise. S. Barrett
* * *
ADDENDUM TO CIRCULAR # 108 ON SHELTER AREA DRILLS:
AT SIGNAL (THREE BELLS REPEATED THREE TIMES) FOLLOW EXITS AND CONVERGE INTO CENTER AREA BETWEEN PARALLEL BARS IN BASEMENT GYM. TO INSURE MAXIMUM SAFETY, ABSOLUTE SILENCE IS TO BE MAINTAINED AT ALL TIMES DURING THIS IMPORTANT DRILL. DO NOT LEAN ON HORSES.
James J. McHabe Adm. Asst.
FROM: S. Barrett, 304 TO: Mr. Grayson, Custodian, Basement
Dear Mr. Grayson, I need 11 additional chairs for 304, and someone to repair broken window and clean up scattered glass health hazard! S. Barrett No one down here.
* * *
INTRASCHOOL COMMUNICATION
FROM: 304 TO: 508
Dear Bea What a curious place this is, where bells are rung to be ignored, where children are safe from atomic annihilation if they do not lean on gym horses, where a cry in the wilderness remains unheard. Is there "no one down there," ever? Syl
* * *
COPY TO: Dr. Clarke
Dear Miss Barrett, It has come to my attention that you have neglected to fill out a Form B221 Accident Report of a fall from a chair incurred by a student in your official class. Such negligence may result in serious consequences. The safety of the students in our charge is paramount at all times. Before leaving the building today, you will please make
out this report in triplicate, signed by the witnesses who witnessed the above accident. James J. McHabe Adm. Asst.
(No purpose is served in blaming defective equipment for failure to comply with instructions on locking up confidential records.) JJ McH
* * *
Miss Barrett, The theft of a valuable wallet from a student's unlocked locker on or about the 5th period today has just been reported to me. One of your students was observed loitering in the vicinity without a pass and is a strong suspect. See me at the end of the afternoon homeroom. JJ McH Adm. Asst.
* * *
TO: all teachers Please ascertain and send to me before three o'clock today the number of students in your homeroom who have not had a hot breakfast this morning. poor nutrition is frequently the cause of poor marks.
Frances Egan School Nurse
Date: 2016-01-03; view: 962
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