Wireless microphone (lapel or headset?) for NARRATOR
VISUAL EFFECTS
Light for the Spirit of Christmas Past Fog
ACT 1 SCENE 1: THE COUNTING HOUSE
Enter SCROOGE and CRATCHIT to fill out the scene. Lights slowly up on stage as CAROLERS begin to enter, quietly humming “Here We Come A-Wassailing.”)
(Stage lights full, CAROLERS at full volume, singing “Here We Come A-Wassailing.”
FRED enters. Volume down on CAROLERS as FRED crosses to apron. Spot up full. There SCROOGE is seated at a high desk, with CRATCHIT seated at a low desk to his left, partially facing away.)
FRED: A Merry Christmas, Uncle! SCROOGE: (surprised) What?
FRED: I said, A Merry Christmas, Uncle! God save you! SCROOGE: Bah, humbug!
FRED: Christmas a humbug, Uncle! Surely you don't mean that!
SCROOGE: Of course I mean it! Merry Christmas, indeed. What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.
FRED: Come, Uncle. What reason have you to be dismal? You're rich enough. Ha ha!
SCROOGE: BAH! Away with Merry Christmas! What's Christmas to you, but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older and not an hour richer? If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding. He should!
FRED: Uncle!
SCROOGE: Nephew! Keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.
FRED: Uncle, Christmas is a good time, a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; and I say, God bless it!
(CRATCHIT bursts into applause at this, then stops at SCROOGE'S scowl)
SCROOGE: Another sound out of you, and you'll keep your Christmas by losing your position!
FRED: Don't be angry, Uncle. Come and dine with us tomorrow. SCROOGE: I'll see myself in hell first.
FRED: But why, Uncle?
SCROOGE: Why? Why? Let me ask you a question: Why did you get married recently? FRED: Because I fell in love, of course.
SCROOGE: Love! You fell in love! Ha! Good afternoon, nephew.
FRED: I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you. Why can't we be friends? SCROOGE: Good afternoon.
FRED: I am sorry to find you so resolute. So, a Merry Christmas, Uncle!
(FRED hurries off.) SCROOGE: Good afternoon!
(FRED poking back in)
FRED: And a Happy New Year! (hurries off) SCROOGE: Good afternoon!!
FRED (poking back in): And a Merry Christmas to you, Bob Cratchit! CRATCHIT (looking up, surprised): Thank you, sir! A Merry Christmas to you!
SCROOGE: There's another fellow, my clerk, with fifteen shilling a week, and a wife and family, talking about a merry Christmas. I'll retire to Bedlam.
(JEEVES, Charity solicitor, enters.)
MR. JEEVES: Scrooge and Marley's, I believe?
SCROOGE: Marley's dead. In fact, he died seven years ago this very night.
MR. JEEVES: Oh, I am quite sorry to hear it. At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge, we should make some provision for the poor and needy, who suffer greatly at the present time.
SCROOGE (looking up): Are there no prisons? Did they disappear?
MR. JEEVES: Oh, no, sir. There are still plenty of prisons.
SCROOGE: And the workhouses for the poor? Still in operation, I assume?
MR. JEEVES: They are.
SCROOGE: I'm glad to hear it.
MR. JEEVES: These Christmas days we are trying to raise a fund to buy the poor some meat and drink, and some means of warmth. What shall I put you down for?
SCROOGE: Nothing.
JEEVES: Ah! You wish to be anonymous, then?
SCROOGE: I wish to be left alone. I don't make merry myself at Christmas, and I can't afford to make idle people merry. Those who are badly off must go to the prisons or workhouses.
HOWELL: But many can't go there; and many would rather die.
SCROOGE: Oh, well, if they'd rather die, perhaps they should go ahead and do it, and decrease the surplus population. It isn’t my business. I have too much of my own business. Good afternoon, gentlemen!
(As SOLICITOR exits, a few CAROLERS enter, they sing “Silent night” CRATCHIT is pleased.)
SCROOGE (seizing a ruler): Get away from here, you! I didn't ask to be bothered with that noise!
SCROOGE (to CRATCHIT): You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose? CRATCHIT: If it's quite convenient, sir.
SCROOGE: It's not convenient.
CRATCHIT: It's only once a year, sir.
SCROOGE: Hmph! Be here all the earlier next morning!
CRATCHIT: Oh, yes, sir, I shall. I certainly shall.
(SCROOGE exits. CRATCHIT dons scarf and hat, snuffs his candle, and turns to meet TIM, hobbling on with crutch, face aglow.)
TIM: Father!
CRATCHIT: Hello, my dear son! (They embrace.)
TIM: Father, I have been waiting for you!
CRATCHIT: Let's go by Corn Hill, and watch the children play. Someday you will be there, too, playing with them!
TIM: I feel that I'm getting stronger every day. CRATCHIT: And do you remember what tomorrow is? TIM: Christmas Day!
CRATCHIT: And I am to have the whole day off to celebrate with my family. TIM: Hoorah for Christmas!
(CRATCHIT picks up TIM and bears him off, they breaking into a carol together.)