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People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge).

Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many people attend to university or collage (attend university or college) after their high school years for several reason which they choose by them self (on their own). I believe the most reason that why people attend to university or collage (Replace this expression- do not use the same one 2 times in a row) to have new experiences on life , to prepare for career, and to increase their knowledge of their personality on life.

Firstly, many people tippy title=”attend to university or collage”]again, repetition[/tippy] to have new experience on life. Many students leave their home and move to live by them self (by themselves) when they go to university. This is the first time that they had to create resolution by them self (by themselves) without their parents help. Creating resolution will increase their knowledge of themselves. Moreover, students on the (of the) university can meet different students from different nationalities and religions so students can learn about different cultures around the world.

Secondly, many people go to university or collage to prepare for career. Career training is becoming more important nowadays to young people than old people. At collage, students learn many skills about the real career life and they intern to (enter an) internship with a lot of chances. All of these things (avoid using the word thing in IELTS essay) prepare them for the career life.

Also, students attend to university or collage to increase their self-knowledge of their personality on (in) life. They attend for that to (so that they could) increase their knowledge in subject which they find interesting. For example, many students study science because they are interested in science but they work on the business area (in that kind of business).

To sum up, I think people should not only focus on a career when they go to university or collage. They have to follow to have new experience and knowledge about their personality and the huge world around them which they live in.

This essay needs much work. There are many grammatical errors, incorrectly used prepositions and inaccurate expressions (see comments underlined in blue). There are many repetitions of the same expressions � try to avoid that as much as possible. The task is covered, the paragraphs are connected by linking words � but the usage is rather primitive. Overall, looks like a Band 6 essay.

17 In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

In the Third World, children are usually sent to factories for labor work. Many people believe that is merely exploitation, while others think it is good opportunities for them to have (gain) life experience. In any case, children have their right to live and study in peaceful conditions. Therefore, using them as labor force is considered an unacceptable action.



First of all, children are not workers. They have just known about the vast world and do not have any experiences as well as conceptions about working. Since these innocent children are naive and lack of life experiences (inexperienced), they are easily cheated and exploited. There are a lot of examples about this in poor nations. Because using children is cheap and easily (they are easy) to control, many enterprises hire them with a little money paid. Although the government in these countries has tried their best, this kind of taking advantage of children cannot be eliminated.

Moreover, children do not need such things called valuable work experience or important for learning and taking responsibility. The brief responsibility of children is learning. They are not old enough to understand what working experiences are. Nevertheless, they can help parents do chores or housework. This will be much better way for them to become more responsible for family (for the sake of their family). In addition, childhood is one of the most remarkable memories and must not be taken by forcing them to work.

In conclusion, since all children are the great concern of parent and society, they should be allowed to enjoy life and educated (be educated) rather than encouraging them (be encouraged) to work. Hence, one must ponder what view is actually appropriate for the sake of children.

This is a good essay. It covers the task, the paragraphs are coherent, the sentences are well-structured and the vocabulary is adequate. However a little structural change in the paragraphs is required � first make the point (such as “Some say that children should learn about earning money” and then oppose to it “However, children can not be compared to adult workers”). Also, there were some inaccuracies (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

18 Even though globalization affects the world’s economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Everything has two sides and the globalization is not the (an) exception. Our first thoughts about this topic include the process of global “McDonaldisation” and, generally speaking, spreading the one, American, lifestyle (one specific, American , lifestyle) across the whole Globe.

Firstly, I would try to concentrate on the positive aspects of globalization. As far as economics is concerned, institutions like the Global Bank or IMF are always focused on developing the Third World’ and helping poor people to combat their life obstacles (through loans and donations). Moreover, the world becomes an area of sharing the thoughts (e.g. philosophical or economical doctrines), which become popular due to lack of barriers.

However, disadvantages of globalization are also widely known. Some people maintain that because of this process, the spirit of countries and nations rapidly disappears. The integrity, established hundreds of years ago is on the verge of collapse. Furthermore, there’s a strong lobby of communists who reckon (think), that the globalization indicates uncontrolled reign of capitalists and slave work of lower labour-class. We should never forget about detrimental impact of global investments on environment – green house effect or soar rains are triggered by globalization.

To sum up, globalization has both positive and negative influence on our everyday life. I can’t agree with the popular statement that we should try to avoid being affected by it. However, we must not forget about our surroundings and local communities. They have invaluable values which should last forever.

This essay is too short (233 words instead of mandatory 250) and that will be penalized. On the bright side, it covers the task and has a sound structure on essay level. The paragraphs are coherent and logically connected by linking words; the sentences are well-structured and the vocabulary is adequate. There were some inaccuracies, see comments underlined in blue. Overall, looks like a band 6 essay.

19 The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise age limit for the younger drivers and to lower age limit for the aged ones. Do you agree?

Traffic accidents are on the raise these days. Most of the accidents caused (have caused) injuries or either worse (, even worse, ) death. Research have found that most of the accidents are cause by inexperienced drivers, for example young drivers.

Young drivers tend to be more daring and are unable to avoid a crush when face with an on coming one. They tend to be more daring after some drinks of alcohol at night and cause them to lose control of the car. Drink driving will not only cause your own life but may also cause an innocent life to be lost.

The government should encourage the driving schools to conduct driving lessons to young drivers for a longer period. This will give them a clear picture about how accidents happen and the safety of others on the road. Drivers that have meet with an accident after drink driving should be banned from driving for at least two years and be given driving lessons again.

However, for the aged drivers, the government should not only lowered (lower) the age but also check the capability of the aged drivers for instance eyesight, hearing and other related health conditions to save driving. It does not mean that an aged person are (is) not fit to drive and have a problem with the heart but a young or middle aged man could also have a change of heart failure these days.___(poorly structured and therefore confusing sentence)

To conclude, I feel that to raise the age limit of young drivers is not the best solution but to give them more driving lessons (to educate them) about the problem they will encounter on the road and to ban them from driving if they have cause an accident due to carelessness. As for the age (aged) drivers, as long as they are capable on the road before a certain age and no health issues there shouldn’t be a problem.

This essay is too long; you have written 305 words instead of the advised 250-265. In the first paragraph you should have presented the topic of argument an the two opinions. The main issue here is multiple spelling and grammatical errors, see comments underlined in blue for more details. The task is covered, the paragraphs are coherent and logically connected by linking words. Overall, looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women.

The inequality between men and women is always a significant issue in their (our) society. Besides that (Besides), it is undeniable that most vital positions in companies are taken by male not female. Therefore, there exist a statement (It can be argued) that companies should allocate to women a certain number of these positions. However, I do not totally agree with this requirement.

In some feudal countries, it was true to say that the society favours the male, and at that time the inequality occurred extremely. Up to the present moment, it stills to happen (still happens) in some developing countries; also it is greatly involved to women’s right (confusing expression). A huge number of women in these countries are not allowed to go to work or even go to public places. In this case, this is not an individual issue, but it is a (a) social problem. The governments should have some solution to react with (handle) this tendency, and at the same time they should promulgate a new legislation to protect women’s rights.

On the other hand, the global economy is developed rapidly nowadays. In most corporations, they do not (management does not) distinguish men or women; they only focus on working efficient. In this world, any employees who own enough abilities and work in an effective way, that person will (can) be promoted to a high (higher) position. Therefore, allocating for women the high level positions in companies is not necessary. Moreover, the evidence of women takes place in an essential position cannot count by fingers (are countless). Those women are very successful in their work and their lives.

In conclusion, although the inequality between men and women is improved, it still is a social issue worth to concern (a thought). Personally, in my opinion we should create many opportunities for women to have an equal life as we can.

This essay needs some work. It has a good structure, the paragraphs are coherent, the usage of linking words is sufficient and the task is covered. On the other hand, the grammar needs much attention, the structure of the sentences should be worked on and there were some unclear expressions used. See comments underlined in blue for more details. Overall, looks like a Band 6 essay.

21 Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit culture and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Date: 2015-12-24; view: 1478


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