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This is a very good essay, you should do well in the Task 2 Writing Test.

3 In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules?

Freedom plays a mandatory role in everybody?s life. We can see in today?s modernized era nobody likes to get some restrictions upon them, whether it would be a child or an adult. Some people think that there should have (be) some strict rules of behaviour for children, but I disagree with this statement.

Wherever it is a reality (It is a reality) that sometimes more restrictions can cause more frustration in children, which leads to many other mental diseases as well. Moreover they can be, behave like a stubborn (be very stubborn). Sometimes they feel themselves (remove this word, unnecessary) under pressure, which can be a main reason for their poor performance in their field. In some cases children would be crazier to do these things from where we?ll try to keep them away(the things we try to prevent them from doing).

In other words , we have to look for (at) other aspects as well, like (because) if we usually ignore our children?s bad habits, then they can?t be (might not become) good human beings in their future life. Moreover, if we never draw attention upon (to) the children?s main activities then they may be acquiring bad company. They can know regarding (should learn) the value of respect for their elders. They can know the (and the) importance of relationships. They can know regarding (must understand) their cultural values as well.

In a nutshell, I would like to say that children should be teach (taught) regarding the value of their customs, rituals and respect towards their elders for their future life, but most of the extra restriction should be being avoided (be avoided). It would be better to make them (help them become) good human beings in their coming future.

A good essay, set out well. Some sentences are too short and could be combined together to create more complex structure. There are also some repetitions of the same words, that should be avoided. Overall, nicely done.

4 We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

In the last two decades cybernetics have experienced a major breakthrough .This led to the utilization of computers at nearly all parts of our daily life, from personal computers to complicated surgery performing. Surely the uptake of this technology facilitates a lot of difficult tasks but is this excessive dependency ripping the warmth of our lives? In this essay, I will outline how the availability of computers affects our lives (better say- There are many ways in which availability of computers affects our lives).

Most of the daily tasks and individual experiences are time and effort consuming. These two fundamental qualities could be tremendously saved by the use of computers. The average period required to prepare a decent meal for a middle-class family is around an hour to an hour and a half when using traditional methods. This time could be literally reduced to half if computerized devices are used instead. Moreover, a busy businessman is enabled to easily close a profitable deal just with a touch on this (of )highly programmed laptop while enjoying his family vacation and not having to exert an extra effort of traveling long distances just to sign (close) a deal.



On the other hand, new generations are growing remarkably dependent on these modern utilities, which make them handicapped when it comes to preparing (making) a cup of tea. In addition, psychologists suggest that one of the main reasons for suicidal rate increase is recent electric inventions. This is due to that humans by nature stay emotionally healthy through socializing, but due to the importance of modern technology to maintain a financially satisfying standard of life they gradually isolate themselves. As time passes by each of these individuals gets stuck in a vicious circle of loneliness that eventually leads to suicidal attempts specially among youngsters.

In conclusion, similar to every other invention computers has its benefits and drawbacks, I personally think it all depends upon how we use the given tools . Moderation is the key here to keep the balance and allow us to live in harmony.

Good essay, nice vocabulary, a little too long (340 words instead of 250), a few grammatical mistakes. The topic is not fully covered (what about the “things will they be used for in future” part?).

5 We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

Today computers are used almost everywhere, it is impossible to imagine our life without PCs, Internet, hand phones and other computer devices. It is reasonable that people look to the future of computers. In what field will be computers used for and what role will human has in this world in future?(don’t copy sentences from the task into essay)

Besides (inappropriate use of connective word, remove it), computers make our life easier, we can easily get information about any product we plan to buy or place we plan to visit over a second using personal computer and Internet (the Internet). Scientists predict that in the nearest future it will be possible to smell a new perfume using Internet and watch 3D scenes at home like we do in the theater. According to forecasts of HR agencies machines will

replace job of cashiers, civil and military pilots. Some

corporations in Japan already selling housewife-robots, which help old people to keep their home clean.

Despite the fact that computers help us, they make us dependent. Apparently, people spend more time behind monitors that ever before. And some of them feel a need for more time to be spent with people in live contact. In addition, fall out of one of the important modules of specific computer can entail serious consequences. Suffice (Enough) to mention computer problem, occurred in the end of 1990s, problem concerned with coming year 2000 (Y2K) and catastrophes that were predicted. Fortunately imminent disasters did not happen. However, it is difficult to imagine what could be (have happened) if all the predictions had occurred.

We live in technological era, computers penetrated everywhere with all benefits they provide and all dangers they hide. However we are satisfied with them and sometimes we even thank them because they help us in communicating, studying, doing business, entertaining and saving lives in critical situations.


Date: 2015-12-24; view: 215


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Overall, a very good essay, well done. | Great essay, all the task points are covered, good language and structure. Looks like Band 7 to me.
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