Home Random Page


CATEGORIES:

BiologyChemistryConstructionCultureEcologyEconomyElectronicsFinanceGeographyHistoryInformaticsLawMathematicsMechanicsMedicineOtherPedagogyPhilosophyPhysicsPolicyPsychologySociologySportTourism






Cecily. Uncle Jack, if you don’t shake hands with Ernest I will never forgive you.……..

……………….

 

[Enter Canon Chasuble.]

 



Chasuble. And how are we this morning? Miss Prism, you are, I trust, well?

 



Cecily. Miss Prism has just been complaining of a slight headache. I think it would do her so much good to have a short stroll with you in the Park, Dr. Chasuble.

…………………………………..

Miss Prism. I think, dear Doctor, I will have a stroll with you. I find I have a headache after all, and a walk might do it good.

 



Chasuble. With pleasure, Miss Prism, with pleasure. We might go as far as the schools and back.

 



Miss Prism. That would be delightful. Cecily, you will read your Political Economy in my absence. The chapter on the Fall of the Rupee you may omit. It is somewhat too sensational. Even these metallic problems have their melodramatic side.

 



[Goes down the garden with Dr. Chasuble.]

 



Cecily. [Picks up books and throws them back on table.] Horrid Political Economy! Horrid Geography! Horrid, horrid German!

 



[Enter Merriman with a card on a salver.]

 



Merriman. Mr. Ernest Worthing has just driven over from the station. He has brought his luggage with him.

…………………………………………………….

[Merriman goes off.]

…………………………………………………...

Algernon. [Raising his hat.] You are my little cousin Cecily, I’m sure.

 



Cecily. ….. I am your cousin Cecily. You, I see from your card, are Uncle Jack’s brother…, my wicked cousin Ernest. …………… I can’t understand how you are here at all. Uncle Jack won’t be back till Monday afternoon.

 



Algernon. That is a great disappointment. I am obliged to go up by the first train on Monday morning. I have a business appointment that I am anxious… to miss? …….

 



Cecily. Well, I know, of course, how important it is not to keep a business engagement, if one wants to retain any sense of the beauty of life, but still I think you had better wait till Uncle Jack arrives. I know he wants to speak to you about your emigrating.

 



Algernon. About my what?

 



Cecily. Your emigrating. … He said at dinner on Wednesday night, that you would have to choose between this world, the next world, and Australia.

 



Algernon. Oh, well! The accounts I have received of Australia and the next world, are not particularly encouraging. This world is good enough for me, cousin Cecily.

 



Cecily. Yes, but are you good enough for it?

 



Algernon. I’m afraid I’m not that. That is why I want you to reform me. You might make that your mission, if you don’t mind, cousin Cecily.

 



Cecily. I’m afraid I’ve no time, this afternoon.

 



Algernon. Well, would you mind my reforming myself this afternoon?

 



Cecily. It is rather Quixotic of you. But I think you should try.

 



Algernon. I will. I feel better already.

 



Cecily. You are looking a little worse.

 



Algernon. That is because I am hungry.

 



Cecily. How thoughtless of me. I should have remembered that when one is going to lead an entirely new life, one requires regular and wholesome meals. ……………..

 



[They pass into the house. Miss Prism and Dr. Chasuble return.]

 



Miss Prism. You are too much alone, dear Dr. Chasuble. You should get married. A misanthrope I can understand—a womanthrope, never!

 



Chasuble. [With a scholar’s shudder.] Believe me, I do not deserve so neologistic a phrase. The precept as well as the practice of the Primitive Church was distinctly against matrimony.

 



Miss Prism. [Sententiously.] That is obviously the reason why the Primitive Church has not lasted up to the present day. ……….. But where is Cecily?

 



Chasuble. Perhaps she followed us to the schools.

 



[Enter Jack slowly from the back of the garden. He is dressed in the deepest mourning, with crape hatband and black gloves.]

 



Miss Prism. Mr. Worthing!

 



Chasuble. Mr. Worthing?

 



Miss Prism. This is indeed a surprise. We did not look for you till Monday afternoon.

 



Jack. [Shakes Miss Prism’s hand in a tragic manner.] I have returned sooner than I expected. Dr. Chasuble, I hope you are well?

 



Chasuble. Dear Mr. Worthing, I trust this garb of woe does not betoken some terrible calamity?

 



Jack. My brother………………………… Dead!……………………………..

 



Miss Prism. What a lesson for him! I trust he will profit by it. ……………………….

Jack. Poor Ernest! He had many faults, but it is a sad, sad blow.

……………………………………

Chasuble. …..You would no doubt wish me to make some slight allusion to this tragic domestic affliction next Sunday. My sermon on the meaning of the manna in the wilderness can be adapted to almost any occasion. [All sigh.] I have preached it at harvest celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days of humiliation and festal days. ……………………………..

Jack. Ah! that reminds me, you mentioned christenings I think, Dr. Chasuble? I suppose you know how to christen all right? [Dr. Chasuble looks astounded.] I mean, of course, you are continually christening, aren’t you?

 



Miss Prism. It is, I regret to say, one of the Rector’s most constant duties in this parish. I have often spoken to the poorer classes on the subject. But they don’t seem to know what thrift is. …………………………………………

 



Jack. …The fact is, I would like to be christened myself, this afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.

 



Chasuble. But surely, Mr. Worthing, you have been christened already?

 



Jack. I don’t remember anything about it.……….

 



Chasuble. ………………. At what hour would you wish the ceremony performed? ……………….

 



Jack. Would half-past five do?

 



Chasuble. Admirably! Admirably! [Takes out watch.] ………………………………….

 



[Enter Cecily from the house.]

 



Cecily. Uncle Jack! Oh, I am pleased to see you back. But what horrid clothes you have got on! …….What is the matter, Uncle Jack? Do look happy! You look as if you had toothache, and I have got such a surprise for you. Who do you think is in the dining-room? Your brother!

…..

 



Jack. What nonsense! I haven’t got a brother.

 



Cecily. Oh, don’t say that. However badly he may have behaved to you in the past he is still your brother. You couldn’t be so heartless as to disown him. I’ll tell him to come out. And you will shake hands with him, won’t you, Uncle Jack? [Runs back into the house.]

………………………………………….

[Enter Algernon and Cecily hand in hand. They come slowly up to Jack.]

 



Jack. Good heavens! [Motions Algernon away.]

 



Algernon. Brother John, I have come down from town to tell you that I am very sorry for all the trouble I have given you, and that I intend to lead a better life in the future. [Jack glares at him and does not take his hand.]

 



Cecily. Uncle Jack, you are not going to refuse your own brother’s hand?

 



Jack. Nothing will induce me to take his hand. I think his coming down here disgraceful. He knows perfectly well why.

 



……………………………………

Algernon. Of course I admit that the faults were all on my side. But I must say that I think that Brother John’s coldness to me is peculiarly painful. I expected a more enthusiastic welcome, especially considering it is the first time I have come here.

 



Cecily. Uncle Jack, if you don’t shake hands with Ernest I will never forgive you.……..

 

Jack. Well, this is the last time I shall ever do it. [Shakes with Algernon and glares.]

 



Chasuble. It’s pleasant, is it not, to see so perfect a reconciliation? I think we might leave the two brothers together.

 



……………………………… [They all go off except Jack and Algernon.]

 



Jack. You young scoundrel, Algy, you must get out of this place as soon as possible. I don’t allow any Bunburying here.

 



[Enter Merriman.]…………………………………

 



Jack. Merriman, order the dog-cart at once. Mr. Ernest has been suddenly called back to town.

 



Merriman. Yes, sir. [Goes back into the house.]………………………………………………….

 



Algernon. Well, Cecily is a darling.

 



Jack. You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that. I don’t like it.

 



Algernon. Well, I don’t like your clothes. You look perfectly ridiculous in them. Why on earth don’t you go up and change? ………I certainly won’t leave you so long as you are in mourning. It would be most unfriendly. If I were in mourning you would stay with me, I suppose.

 



Jack. Well, will you go if I change my clothes?

 



Algernon. Yes, if you are not too long.

…………………………………………….

Jack. However, you have got to catch the four-five, and I hope you will have a pleasant journey back to town. ….

 



[Goes into the house.]…….

[Enter Cecily at the back of the garden. She picks up the can and begins to water the flowers.]

Cecily. Oh, I merely came back to water the roses. I thought you were with Uncle Jack.

 



Algernon. He’s gone to order the dog-cart for me. …….He’s going to send me away.

 



Cecily. Then have we got to part?

 



Algernon. I am afraid so. It’s a very painful parting.

 



Cecily. It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity. But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable.

 



Algernon. Thank you.

 



The Importance of Being Earnest: Second Act, Part 2

By Oscar Wilde

 



…………………………

[Enter Merriman.]

 



Merriman. The dog-cart is waiting, sir.

 



Algernon. Tell it to come round next week, at the same hour.

 



Merriman. [Looks at Cecily, who makes no sign.] Yes, sir.

 



[Merriman retires.]

 



Cecily. Uncle Jack would be very much annoyed if he knew you were staying on till next week, at the same hour.

 



Algernon. Oh, I don’t care about Jack. I don’t care for anybody in the whole world but you. I love you, Cecily. You will marry me, won’t you?

 



Cecily. You silly boy! Of course. Why, we have been engaged for the last three months.

 



Algernon. For the last three months?......Algernon. But how did we become engaged?

 



Cecily. Well, ever since dear Uncle Jack first confessed to us that he had a younger brother who was very wicked and bad, you of course have formed the chief topic of conversation between myself and Miss Prism. And of course a man who is much talked about is always very attractive. I daresay it was foolish of me, but I fell in love with you, Ernest.

 



…………………………..

Algernon. But was our engagement ever broken off?

 



Cecily. Of course it was. On the 22nd of last March. You can see the entry if you like. [Shows diary.] ‘To-day I broke off my engagement with Ernest. I feel it is better to do so. The weather still continues charming.’…… It would hardly have been a really serious engagement if it hadn’t been broken off at least once. But I forgave you before the week was out.

 



Algernon. [Crossing to her, and kneeling.] What a perfect angel you are, Cecily. ……………………You’ll never break off our engagement again, Cecily?

 



Cecily. I don’t think I could break it off now that I have actually met you. Besides, of course, there is the question of your name……………. You must not laugh at me, darling, but it had always been a girlish dream of mine to love someone whose name was Ernest. [Algernon rises, Cecily also.] There is something in that name that seems to inspire absolute confidence.

 



Algernon. But, my dear child, do you mean to say you could not love me if I had some other name?...........Algernon—for instance…Seriously, Cecily… [Moving to her]… if my name was Algy, couldn’t you love me?

 



Cecily. [Rising.] I might respect you, Ernest, I might admire your character, but I fear that I should not be able to give you my undivided attention.

 



Algernon. Ahem! Cecily! [Picking up hat.] Your Rector here is, I suppose, thoroughly experienced in the practice of all the rites and ceremonials of the Church?

 



Cecily. Oh, yes. Dr. Chasuble is a most learned man. He has never written a single book, so you can imagine how much he knows.

 



Algernon. I must see him at once on a most important christening—I mean on most important business………………….

[Algernon runs away]

[Enter Merriman.]

 



Merriman. A Miss Fairfax has just called to see Mr. Worthing. On very important business, Miss Fairfax states.

 



…………………………….

 



Merriman. Miss Fairfax.

 



[Enter Gwendolen.]

 



Cecily. [Advancing to meet her.] Pray let me introduce myself to you. My name is Cecily Cardew.

 



Gwendolen. Cecily Cardew? [Moving to her and shaking hands.] What a very sweet name! Something tells me that we are going to be great friends. My first impressions of people are never wrong.

 



Cecily. How nice of you to like me so much after we have known each other such a comparatively short time. Pray sit down.

 



…………………………………

 



Gwendolen. [After examining Cecily carefully through a lorgnette.] You are here on a short visit, I suppose.

 



Cecily. Oh no! I live here.

 



Gwendolen. [Severely.] Really? Your mother, no doubt, or some female relative of advanced years, resides here also?

 



Cecily. Oh no! I have no mother, nor, in fact, any relations. My dear guardian, with the assistance of Miss Prism, has the arduous task of looking after me.

 



Gwendolen. Your guardian?

 



Cecily. Yes, I am Mr. Worthing’s ward.

 



Gwendolen. Oh! It is strange he never mentioned to me that he had a ward. He grows more interesting hourly. But I am bound to state that now that I know that you are Mr. Worthing’s ward, I cannot help expressing a wish you were—well, just a little older than you seem to be…… In fact, if I may speak candidly -

 



Cecily. Pray do! I think that whenever one has anything unpleasant to say, one should always be quite candid.

 



Gwendolen. Well, to speak with perfect candour, Cecily, I wish that you were fully forty-two, and more than usually plain for your age. Ernest has a strong upright nature. He is the very soul of truth and honour. But even men of the noblest possible moral character are extremely susceptible to the influence of the physical charms of others. ……………………….

 



Cecily. I beg your pardon, Gwendolen, did you say Ernest?

 



Gwendolen. Yes.

 



Cecily. Oh, but it is not Mr. Ernest Worthing who is my guardian. It is his brother—his elder brother.

 



Gwendolen. [Sitting down again.] Ernest never mentioned to me that he had a brother.

 



Cecily. I am sorry to say they have not been on good terms for a long time.

 



Gwendolen. Ah! that accounts for it. Of course you are quite, quite sure that it is not Mr. Ernest Worthing who is your guardian?

 



Cecily. Quite sure. [A pause.] In fact, I am going to be his.

 



Gwendolen. [Inquiringly.] I beg your pardon?

 



Cecily. [Rather shy and confidingly.] Dearest Gwendolen, there is no reason why I should make a secret of it to you. ……… Mr. Ernest Worthing and I are engaged to be married.

 



Gwendolen. [Quite politely, rising.] My darling Cecily, I think there must be some slight error. Mr. Ernest Worthing is engaged to me……..

 



Cecily. [Very politely, rising.] I am afraid you must be under some misconception. Ernest proposed to me exactly ten minutes ago. [Shows diary.]

 



Gwendolen. [Examines diary through her lorgnettte carefully.] It is certainly very curious, for he asked me to be his wife yesterday afternoon at 5.30. ………. I am so sorry, dear Cecily, if it is any disappointment to you, but I am afraid I have the prior claim.

 



Cecily. It would distress me more than I can tell you, dear Gwendolen, if it caused you any mental or physical anguish, but I feel bound to point out that since Ernest proposed to you he clearly has changed his mind.

 



Gwendolen. [Meditatively.] If the poor fellow has been entrapped into any foolish promise I shall consider it my duty to rescue him at once, and with a firm hand.

 



Cecily. [Thoughtfully and sadly.] Whatever unfortunate entanglement my dear boy may have got into, I will never reproach him with it after we are married.

 



Gwendolen. Do you allude to me, Miss Cardew, as an entanglement? You are presumptuous. On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one’s mind. It becomes a pleasure.

 



Cecily. Do you suggest, Miss Fairfax, that I entrapped Ernest into an engagement? How dare you? This is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners. When I see a spade I call it a spade.

 



…………………………………………

Gwendolen. From the moment I saw you I distrusted you. I felt that you were false and deceitful. I am never deceived in such matters. My first impressions of people are invariably right.

 



Cecily. It seems to me, Miss Fairfax, that I am trespassing on your valuable time. No doubt you have many other calls of a similar character to make in the neighbourhood.

 



[Enter Jack.]

 



Gwendolen. [Catching sight of him.] Ernest! My own Ernest!

 



Jack. Gwendolen! Darling! [Offers to kiss her.]

 



Gwendolen. [Draws back.] A moment! May I ask if you are engaged to be married to this young lady? [Points to Cecily.]

 



Jack. [Laughing.] To dear little Cecily! Of course not! What could have put such an idea into your pretty little head?

 



Gwendolen. Thank you. You may! [Offers her cheek.]

 



Cecily. [Very sweetly.] I knew there must be some misunderstanding, Miss Fairfax. The gentleman whose arm is at present round your waist is my guardian, Mr. John Worthing.

 



Gwendolen. I beg your pardon?

 



Cecily. This is Uncle Jack.

 



Gwendolen. [Receding.] Jack! Oh!

 



[Enter Algernon.]

 



Cecily. Here is Ernest.

 



Algernon. [Goes straight over to Cecily without noticing any one else.] My own love! [Offers to kiss her.]

 



Cecily. [Drawing back.] A moment, Ernest! May I ask you—are you engaged to be married to this young lady?

 



Algernon. [Looking round.] To what young lady? Good heavens! Gwendolen!

 



Cecily. Yes! to good heavens, Gwendolen, I mean to Gwendolen.

 



Algernon. [Laughing.] Of course not! What could have put such an idea into your pretty little head?

 



Cecily. Thank you. [Presenting her cheek to be kissed.] You may. [Algernon kisses her.]

 



Gwendolen. I felt there was some slight error, Miss Cardew. The gentleman who is now embracing you is my cousin, Mr. Algernon Moncrieff.

 



Cecily. [Breaking away from Algernon.] AlgernonMoncrieff! Oh! [The two girls move towards each other and put their arms round each other’s waists protection.]

 



Cecily. Are you called Algernon?

 



Algernon. I cannot deny it.

 



Cecily. Oh!

 



Gwendolen. Is your name really John?

 



Jack. [Standing rather proudly.] I could deny it if I liked. I could deny anything if I liked. But my name certainly is John. It has been John for years.

 



Cecily. [To Gwendolen.] A gross deception has been practised on both of us.

 



Gwendolen. My poor wounded Cecily!

 



Cecily. My sweet wronged Gwendolen!

 



Gwendolen. [Slowly and seriously.] You will call me sister, will you not? [They embrace. Jack and Algernon groan and walk up and down.]

 



Cecily. [Rather brightly.] There is just one question I would like to be allowed to ask my guardian.

 



Gwendolen. An admirable idea! Mr. Worthing, there is just one question I would like to be permitted to put to you. Where is your brother Ernest? We are both engaged to be married to your brother Ernest, so it is a matter of some importance to us to know where your brother Ernest is at present.

 



Jack. [Slowly and hesitatingly.] Gwendolen—Cecily—it is very painful for me to be forced to speak the truth…….. I will tell you quite frankly that I have no brother Ernest. I have no brother at all. ……

 



………………..

 



Gwendolen. I am afraid it is quite clear, Cecily, that neither of us is engaged to be married to anyone.

 



Cecily. It is not a very pleasant position for a young girl suddenly to find herself in. Is it?

 



…………………………….

 



[They retire into the house with scornful looks.]

 



………………………

 



Jack. As for your conduct towards Miss Cardew, I must say that your taking in a sweet, simple, innocent girl like that is quite inexcusable. To say nothing of the fact that she is my ward.

 



Algernon. I can see no possible defence at all for your deceiving a brilliant, clever, thoroughly experienced young lady like Miss Fairfax. To say nothing of the fact that she is my cousin.

 



Jack. I wanted to be engaged to Gwendolen, that is all. I love her.

 



Algernon. Well, I simply wanted to be engaged to Cecily. I adore her.

 



Jack. There is certainly no chance of your marrying Miss Cardew.

 



Algernon. I don’t think there is much likelihood, Jack, of you and Miss Fairfax being united.

…………………………

Jack. Algy, I wish to goodness you would go.

 



Algernon. You can’t possibly ask me to go without having some dinner.. …….Besides I have just made arrangements with Dr. Chasuble to be christened at a quarter to six under the name of Ernest.

 



Jack. My dear fellow, the sooner you give up that nonsense the better. I made arrangements this morning with Dr. Chasuble to be christened myself at 5.30, and I naturally will take the name of Ernest. …We can’t both be christened Ernest. It’s absurd. Besides, I have a perfect right to be christened if I like. …….. It is entirely different in your case. You have been christened already.

 



Algernon. Yes, but I have not been christened for years.

 



Jack. Yes, but you have been christened. That is the important thing…….You are always talking nonsense.

 



[Jack groans, and sinks into a chair. Algernon still continues eating.]

 




Date: 2015-12-24; view: 772


<== previous page | next page ==>
Current liabilities noncurrent (long-term) liabilities | Summary: Act I, scene iii
doclecture.net - lectures - 2014-2024 year. Copyright infringement or personal data (0.027 sec.)