Sound of door to flat opening and closing

BRIDGET

So what's Eunice Mountain like?

NICK

You know, not bad.

HECTOR

Are you in trouble?

NICK

Probably.

HECTOR

I've got it - put pole B on the left and pole A on the right and the shelf on top. Bridget.

BRIDGET

Like this, Hector? Have you put up shelves before, Hector?

HECTOR

Many times.

BRIDGET

Or do your servants do it for you?

NICK

I'll do it!

HECTOR

No, no, no, I'll do it.

NICK

Drop! Drop! Ha! I laugh at instructions.

BRIDGET

Oh, that was clever.

HECTOR

It's OK. I can straighten it.

NICK

Aha! Stand back and watch the master at work!

Sound of wood being sawed

NICK

Da-daaa!

ANNIE

Oh, well done, Nick.

BRIDGET

Hmm.

HECTOR

Wow!

BRIDGET

So where does this piece go?

Sound of knocking on door

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Hi, I'm Eunice Mountain, your new landlady.

BRIDGET [Composing email]

‘Anyway, guess what I have discovered?

Hector's family - the Romero Family - is one of the richest in Argentina!

Can you believe it?!’

NICK

Wow!

ANNIE [Composing email]

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Hi.

BRIDGET

Hello. I, I, I, I am Bridget, and this is Annie.

ANNIE

Hello.

BRIDGET

And this is Hector from Argentina.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Well, hello, Hector.

BRIDGET

Hector lives next door with Nick.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I've met Nick already, haven't I, Nick.

NICK

Oh yes, that's right.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Hmm, we need to talk about your rent - in private.

NICK

Gre-at – uhhh!!

HECTOR [Reading instructions]

"Measure the distance between the shelves." Oh. Aha. Annie, hold this, please. Aha, that's it, uh-huh. And this should be it!

ANNIE

Hector, do you think that's correct? These shelves are for mice.

BRIDGET

Can I speak to you please, Hector?

HECTOR

Hmm?

BRIDGET

So, Hector, one of the richest families in Argentina, the Romero family.

There you are, Hector! So why the secret?

HECTOR

Because I wanted you to like me, not my money.

BRIDGET

Oh Hector, of course I do. Who else knows?

HECTOR

Nick.

BRIDGET

I thought so.

HECTOR

But not Annie. Don't tell Annie - yet.

BRIDGET

Why, Hector?

HECTOR

Because Bridget, I ..., because...

BRIDGET

Yes?

HECTOR

Because I - I am in love with Annie.

NICK

Nick has entered the building!

BRIDGET

So where are you going looking like John Travolta?

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

He has a date with me, haven't you, darling.

HECTOR

Another date?

BRIDGET

But that's three times this week!

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Four.

We've been to dinner, to the theatre, to the cinema and last night - salsa dancing!

BRIDGET

Can you salsa?

NICK & EUNICE

Whooo!!!

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I am the salsa queen!

BRIDGET

Yeah, with two left feet.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Pardon?

BRIDGET

Nothing.

HECTOR

It sounds great.

BRIDGET

What is it tonight?

Ping pong?

NICK

Tonight's it's karaoke.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

And I am the karaoke queen! Let's go.

Bye! “I love yo-u-u!”

BRIDGET [Mimicking Eunice]

"I am the karaoke queen!"

I bet she sings like a toad.

ANNIE

So, Hector, where were we?

HECTOR

OK, I think I've got it, Annie.

Assorted b/g noises/music

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I did knock, but the music was so loud, you didn't hear me. I thought we'd have a little chat. Rule number two: no underwear on the radiator.

ANNIE

Oh, well, it's dry now. Give it to me. Give it to...., thank you.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Let me repeat the rules.

No parties and no visitors, especially boys.

Especially boys from next door.

Especially Nick. He's mine!

Get the message?

ANNIE

Erm, yeah, we get the message.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

See you later. Oh, by the way, that shelf is not straight. Bye!

BRIDGET

Well, I have never!

What does she..., who does she think she is?

ANNIE

The landlady's cousin?

BRIDGET

Oooh, I know that, but no Hector and no Nick? How dare she?

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Coo-eee!

Coo-eee!

NICK [groaning]

HECTOR

How is Eunice?

NICK [groaning]

HECTOR

Problems?

NICK

She is very nice.

HECTOR

But?

NICK

But - she's just not my type.

HECTOR

What do you mean?

NICK

Look, presents.

More presents. Flowers. More presents. Chocolate.

And her energy! I'm exhausted!

Date: 2015-12-24; view: 497